Our Media reports - "It must have been a Cessna!"

[nomadpete]

TRUE STORY - (maybe)

 

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

 

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

 

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents who thank him endlessly.

 

A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

 

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

 

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'

 

The biker replies, 'I'm an SAS soldier just returned from Afghanistan and a Liberal party supporter' The journalist leaves.

 

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions,and reads, on the front page:

 

SAS SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

 

And that my friends, pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Except that we all know it's a lie, and not only that, but plagiarism.

 

 

[Birdseye]

Sounds like the headline about a crazy rapist that attacked the patrons in an Elizabeth laundromat and fled on a motorbike:

 

NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS

 

 

[Marty_d]

Jeez the good ol' right wing jokes are getting long winded these days.

 

 

[Birdseye]

A 'short' left wing joke; "Bill who?".

 

 

[fly_tornado]

[bexrbetter]

Real headlines;

 

"Statistics show Teenage pregnancies drop off significantly after age 25"

 

"City unsure why sewer stinks"

 

"Deaf people's money stolen in scam" - sub heading "They were warned but wouldn't listen".

 

"Diana was alive for hours before she died"

 

"One armed homeless man applauds the kindness of strangers"

 

"Midget sues for belittling remarks"

 

 

[Bikky]

The word "midget" is no longer PC!

 

This has turned out badly for me because the preferred name is now "dwarf", which must be one of the ugliest words in the English language. I p!ss myself laughing anytime someone says it!

 

 

[bexrbetter]

The word "midget" is no longer PC!

I couldn't give a toss.

 

Wait, what?

 

 

[ben87r]

I couldn't give a toss.

No need to be short with him.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

[Marty_d]

I have no problem with dwarf tossing, as long as they do it in the privacy of their own home.

 

 

[Birdseye]

I have no problem with dwarf tossing, as long as they do it in the privacy of their own home.

Is that (a) dwarf......

 

Its unkind, but every time I hear a dwarf joke I think of the female dwarf with the too long wellie boots.

 

 

[turboplanner]

This thread started out as an attack on the media, but as it's progressed it's starting to reflect more on the standards of the critics.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

This thread started out as an attack on the media, but as it's progressed it's starting to reflect more on the standards of the critics.

Oi, it's not like I ever sold a yo-yo to a dwarf ........

 

Seriously though, you keep the weirdest times TP.

 

 

[Bikky]

Bex! Pot, kettle, black.

 

TP, you should know as well as anyone else - critics have no standards.

 

Definition of a critic? A eunuch in a harem!

 

 

[turboplanner]

Oi, it's not like I ever sold a yo-yo to a dwarf ........Seriously though, you keep the weirdest times TP.

Have to work to earn a living Bex; I'm very good on making deadlines, has won me a lot of business over the years.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Have to work to earn a living Bex; I'm very good on making deadlines, has won me a lot of business over the years.

Yuh, I know that feeling, just notice you're sometimes at it at around 4am which is unusual.

 

Bikky, I'm pretty consistent actually, I finish up at about 2am most nights and back into it around 10am.

 

I love working late at night into the morning as it's very peaceful and in a tired state I do my best thinking.

 

 

[facthunter]

MG "dwarf" doesn't sound quite right. Nev