Phil Perry Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Chicken Surprise A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise”... the waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. “Good grief, did you see that?” she asks her husband. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. “Please sir,” says the waiter, “what you order?” The husband replies, “Chicken Surprise” “Ah! So sorry,“ says the waiter, > > > > > > > > “I bring you Peeking Duck .” > 5
bexrbetter Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 I got home a bit late last night full of grog, snuck into the bedroom, slid under the covers and nudged my Missus; "How about a 69"? Well she jumps up and starts screaming; "I no make you steamed pork in black bean sauce at 2am in the morning ....!!" 5 2
Thirsty Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Yes it was a joke! A pet hate of mine. Same as family heirloom, stupid idiot and other tautologies. 1
bexrbetter Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Yes it was a joke! A pet hate of mine. Same as family heirloom, stupid idiot and other tautologies. "2am" might be the name of our restaurant .....
Phil Perry Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 Yes it was a joke! A pet hate of mine. Same as family heirloom, stupid idiot and other tautologies. AAAAh. . . tautologies . . . .. Wifey uses one regularly ie, "Reverse Back a bit" . . . ( ? )
Thirsty Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 2am is a great name for a restaurant! Doesn't sound very Chinese though
johnm Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ROAD SIGN - 'no lines on road - do not overtake unless safe' .............................. implies to me - if lines are on road - you can overtake if unsafe 2
facthunter Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 It really means "we are not providing you with the usual safety information by way of centreline paint markings that you are accustomed to, so it's up to you to be more careful and accept your responsibility to judge your overtaking speed and the effect of oncoming traffic from around the bend or over the hill which may endanger you, if you misjudge the speed of closure" But it wouldn't fit on the sign. Nev
bexrbetter Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 ROAD SIGN - 'no lines on road - do not overtake unless safe'.............................. implies to me - if lines are on road - you can overtake if unsafe It really means; "The next perfectly straight piece of slightly concave road with no side roads or farmer's driveways with perfect clear vision for 3kms on a perfectly clear day, we will have a radar setup. 4
johnm Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 no lines on road - do not overtake unless safe still don't reckon it makes sense / logic to me - there are many km's of road with no line marking ..................... (no sign disclaimer there) 1
facthunter Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Often there is such a sign. No advisory speed signs for ?? Kms. Usually after roadworks performed. I certainly use them as a guide, and you can be fined for crossing double lines. "Changed conditions ahead" another advisory you might assert only applies to those who regularly travel the particular road. It's particularly applicable to reduced speed where "lower speed limit" is shown. Everything helps. Nev
Yenn Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Ah Qld road signs. The one I think is most wasted is Rough Road. All they need is one sign at each crossing into another state and it would suffice. We had 80km speed limits on the Bruce Hwy, due to no centre lines after roadworks had been done. Applied for 1km in each direction and in one case the actual amount of missing line was about 20metres. Best signage I saw was "No overtaking on bridge" there were double lines on the road. Then at the end of the bridgewas a sign "End of no overtaking on bridge" Now you know why Qld roads are the worst in Aus. Rather than spend money on the road surface, they put up anothe sign.
dazza 38 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 In QLD People cannot do a u turn at an intersection unless there is a sign saying - U turn permitted. Qld is full of retards who do U turns willy nilly illegally, it jacks me off because just down the road from my place there is a T intersection where we and most cars turn right with a green arrow ( that is heading towards the highway and a massive shopping centre) . But you have to be careful because there is normally a muppet at the same time doing an illegal U turn and heading straight for you.
PA. Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer. 3
facthunter Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 If his joints were smoking he was trying too hard. Nev 1 4
rick morawski Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 What would have happened if they got a Pullet Surprise instead. (you've got to say Pullet Surprise a few times if you dont get it) 1
Phil Perry Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Speaking of road signs. . . . . . [ATTACH=full]37399[/ATTACH] I can't remember where this one was taken,. . .may have been Hong Kong, but I'm sure Bexy will be able to tell us. . . . . >
Phil Perry Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Speaking of road signs. . . . . . I can't remember where this one was taken,. . .may have been Hong Kong, but I'm sure Bexy will be able to tell us. . . . . >
Yenn Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I will have to find my photo of the Knockin shop. taken at Knockin in Wales. 1
Yenn Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I will have to find my photo of the Knockin shop. taken at Knockin in Wales.
bexrbetter Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Speaking of road signs. . . . . . I can't remember where this one was taken,. . .may have been Hong Kong, but I'm sure Bexy will be able to tell us. . . . . > Yuh, that's a typical HK road sign. I can go one better, the number 2 Hospital in my city was called the "Wan King Hospital" (I am not joking), I cracked up everytime I drove past it for years but didn't take a picture and now it's been renamed. I will one day drop in and Shirley they have some old pictures of it - maybe even the old sign somewhere.
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