The Old Drover

[kgwilson]

An old drover walks into a barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, NT, for a shave and a haircut.

 

He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

 

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old drover to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

 

When he's finished, the old drover tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in yonks, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.

 

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."

 

 

[Marty_d]

Along the same lines...

 

Bloke goes into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. Initially the barman says "Hey! You can't bring an animal in here!" - but pretty soon the monkey is amusing everyone with his tricks. He grabs a peanut from the bowl on the bar, throws it high in the air and swallows it. Then he picks an olive out of a girl's martini, tosses it almost to the ceiling and swallows it. The punters think this is great and cheer him on. However, the monkey jumps on the 8-ball table next, grabs the cue ball, throws it into the air and swallows it!

 

There's a stunned hush from the crowd and the man takes his miserable monkey home.

 

Three days later, the man and his monkey appear back at the bar. The monkey grabs a peanut, jams it up his own clacker, pulls it out and swallows it. He then grabs an olive and does the same thing. Everyones jaw is hanging as they watch this.

 

Finding his voice, the barman says "What the hell is that animal doing?"

 

The monkey's owner looks over at the monkey, who has a small breadstick inserted halfway. "Oh, the ar*se thing? Well... after that cue ball the other night, now he measures everything first!!"

 

 

[ayavner]

best telling of that one I've heard, Marty!

 

 

[ayavner]

best telling of that one I've heard, Marty!

 

 

[Marty_d]

best telling of that one I've heard, Marty!

I could only remember the punch line so I made up the rest...

 

 

[Marty_d]

best telling of that one I've heard, Marty!

I could only remember the punch line so I made up the rest...