Replacement Priest

[Marty_d]

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do.

 

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.

 

In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

 

The priest asks "What did you do?"

 

The woman says "I committed adultery."

 

Priest: "How many times?"

 

Woman: "Three times."

 

Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

 

A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

 

Priest: "What did you do?"

 

Woman: "I committed adultery."

 

Priest: "How many times?"

 

Woman: "Three times."

 

Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

 

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.

 

A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

 

Rabbi: "What did you do?"

 

Woman: "I committed adultery."

 

Rabbi: "How many times?"

 

Woman: "Just once."

 

Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."

 

 

[bexrbetter]

I was on the golf course once and hit an errant ball, I called "FORE!" and then some Jew screams "$3.75 here!".

 

 

[Marty_d]

If you'd sliced it, he may have replied "SKIN!!!"