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Posted

I lost a good friend & drinking buddy this past weekend as a result of his own stupidity in a tragic accident.

 

HE GOT HIS 3RD FINGER ON HIS LEFT HAND CAUGHT IN A WEDDING RING.027_buddies.gif.22de48aac5a25c8f7b0f586db41ef93a.gif

 

 

Posted

The cure is money, then you will be released to fly again.

 

The Question Is: If you did not marry what aircraft would upgrade too!

 

 

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Posted

The story goes that one of the trapped miners at Beaconsfield was worried about his injured leg. He said "Do you think there is much future for a one-legged gold digger?" His mate replied - "Ask Paul McCartney!".

 

 

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Posted

You should be able to get out of the marriage contract. You are usually in a state of insanity at the time, and you have convinced yourself that a lot of the most improbable nice things will happen when you do.. She thinks you are god's gift to a woman and will provide for her every need, (or else). Nev

 

 

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Posted

I've checked my marriage licence I can't find the expiry date or how many demerit points you get before you lose it. .

 

 

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Posted
I've checked my marriage licence I can't find the expiry date or how many demerit points you get before you lose it. .

Let her catch you with her sister, I think that's automatic loss of licence.

 

 

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Posted
Let her catch you with her sister, I think that's automatic loss of licence.

With a big fine as well lol

 

 

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Posted

A woman searches till she finds the perfect man, then spends the rest of her life trying to change him.

 

 

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Posted
A woman searches till she finds the perfect man, then spends the rest of her life trying to change him.

Nah. A guy marries a girl hoping she will never change.

 

The girl marries the guy hoping he will!

 

 

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Posted

The only possible legal out for our dear friend is relying on the medical condition she gave him, which forced him to marry her.

 

STD- Primary infection-Sexually Transmitted Delusion, which we all know is a short term psychosis.029_crazy.gif.9816c6ae32645165a9f09f734746de5f.gif

 

It is then followed by the secondary manifestation of the disease

 

STD- Sexually Transmitted Debt:contract:

 

Any attempt to sleep with the sister will probably lead to the tertiary stage of the disease.

 

STD- Sexual Transgression Death:stretcher:

 

 

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Posted
[ATTACH=full]39547[/ATTACH]

Well I'm Sorry. . .! But I wouldn't go out with a girl who would knowingly wear a tanktop with such a glaring grammatical error displayed thereon for all the world to remove the michael from. . . . .

 

Fer Gawd's sake. . .there's no bleedin' appostrofee in "Boyfriends" therefore it's none possessive . . . . indicating that she has many boyfriends oh dear dear. . . . .wot's the world coming to. . .I blame unfettered immigration for brindleising the lingo. . . . . . too many badly edumificated poms allowed in I reckon. . . . .

 

 

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Posted
there's no bleedin' appostrofee in "Boyfriends"

Hang on, I'll have to go have another look to make sure ...

 

 

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Posted

Stating the obvious. You have to choose your girlfriends very carefully for your wife to like them. Nev

 

 

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Posted
The story goes that one of the trapped miners at Beaconsfield was worried about his injured leg. He said "Do you think there is much future for a one-legged gold digger?" His mate replied - "Ask Paul McCartney!".

Oh yes, of course,. . .that lass with the wooden leg . . . .

 

I heard she was involved in a serious house fire a while back,. . .the fire brigade managed to save the house,. . .but she was burnt to the ground. . . . .

 

 

Posted
Oh yes, of course,. . .that lass with the wooden leg . . . .I heard she was involved in a serious house fire a while back,. . .the fire brigade managed to save the house,. . .but she was burnt to the ground. . . . .

allegedly the real reason they broke up was that she was unhappy with a Christmas present that Paul McCartney gave her. He got her a new wooden leg. She was upset because she thought she deserved more than just another stocking filler.......

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

After the divorce Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever go down on one leg again. He said no and please call her Linda.

 

 

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Posted
After the divorce Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever go down on one leg again. He said no and please call her Linda.

wrong wife:wasnt me:

 

The asymmetric one was Heather, Heather Mills.

 

 

  • Agree 1

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