Santa gets a flight check

[Litespeed]

It was Christmas eve and Santa was getting ready for his flight operations

 

He checked his load was all secure

 

Checked his weight and balance

 

Checked that all reindeer were healthy, full of fuel and had no leaks and properly secured to the airframe.

 

He walks back inside and gives Mrs Claus a big kiss and cuddle, grabs his flight bag and walks out to his sled.

 

Suddenly he notices some bugger with a clip board and CASA on his shirt.

 

The inspector explains he is doing a ramp check and needs to see his log book and permit.

 

Santa starts to sweat and hands over the documents.

 

Mr CASA looks over Santa's check list, weight and balance calculations, log book and permits. He checks over the aircraft, feels the undercarriage of the reindeer and seems satisfied.

 

But then says "I am sorry mate you can not fly until you have your BFR"

 

Bugger exclaims Santa, the kids will be spewing.

 

Mr Casa looks at him, sees his distress and says " look how about we do a short flight around the Arctic circuit and if you skills are current I can sign you off"

 

Santa with great relief agrees and they climb in.

 

Santa does his taxiway checks and rumbles down the runway, and gently takes off under full deer power then starts to climb.

 

He looks across at the inspector and sees a sly grin on his face and thinks cool, I am going to nail this review.

 

All of a sudden Santa hears a large bang and Rudolfs head is blown clean off and the sled is covered in brain matter and blood.

 

He turns to see the inspector has a shotgun and a huge grin on his face and screams- " What the f..k did you do that for"

 

Mr Casa calmly states " Engine failure after Take off"

 

 

[Ferris]

Thats sick, but I laughed anyway

 

 

[Marty_d]

Lucky he was in a multi-reindeer craft.

 

 

[Bryon]

Ahhhh, but what about the sudden loss of assymetric inversion of the methane gasses emitted by the reindeer's exhaust systems

 

Wouldn't this cause a drastic change in attitude on a longitudinal basis to the other reindeer, thereby leading to a catastrophic loss of stability resulting in the sleigh being tail heavy and out of balance?

 

 

[planedriver]

I fart you would think of that aspect flying Bry'n

 

 

[Litespeed]

Upon seeing Rudolf's head explode, all the other reindeer worked extra hard to ensure they survived.

 

Especially the Blitzen.

 

He remembered last time Santa got on the piss and got cranky- it was not pretty.

 

 

[Marty_d]

Ahhhh, but what about the sudden loss of assymetric inversion of the methane gasses emitted by the reindeer's exhaust systemsWouldn't this cause a drastic change in attitude on a longitudinal basis to the other reindeer, thereby leading to a catastrophic loss of stability resulting in the sleigh being tail heavy and out of balance?

Remember that reindeer are pretty close to the centre line. Santa quickly ripped open a pillow and dumped the contents over Rudolph's corpse - if a reindeer dies it's important to feather it immediately.

 

 

[red750]

if a reindeer dies it's important to feather it immediately.

 

 

[Kiwi303]

"Ok!", replied Santa. "First step is to jettison excess weight to improve power to weight to maintain climb rate and permit a go-around and landing."

 

Promptly hitting the passenger seatbelt clip and stiff arming the CASA weenie out the side of the sleigh.