Don't diss the Emu

[old man emu]

The Emu War

 

Australia cannot lay claim to any great empires or epic conquests, but we do have one distinction that no other nation on Earth can boast: we are the only country in history to lose a war to birds.

 

In 1932, the farmers of Western Australia, fed up with the 20,000 emus that kept dropping in to their farms to eat all their crops, went to defence minister Sir George Pearce to demand he take action to safeguard the precious wheat of the Campion region.

 

Pearce, a man who knew the value of a show of strength, decided that what the emus needed was a hefty dose of good old-fashioned military might.

 

And so Major GPW Meredith of the Royal Australian Artillery was sent, along with two soldiers, two Lewis guns, and 10,000 bullets, into the scrubland to show the emus just who was the more highly-evolved species.

 

PHOTO: The emu: a native animal that is essentially a cross between an armoured car and a velociraptor.(Flickr: The b@t)

 

Almost immediately the expedition ran into trouble. The soldiers attempted to herd the emus into a suitable place in which to mow them down en masse, but the birds, well-trained in guerrilla tactics, continually split into small groups and ran off in different directions, making it damnably difficult for the guns to draw a bead on them. Also, the guns jammed.

 

Also, when the guns worked, and when an emu stood still long enough to shoot at, they proved resistant to bullets to an unsettling degree. Meredith wrote:

 

"If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world. They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks."

 

The soldiers retreated, weary and sick of the sight of feathers. Meredith's official report noted, optimistically, that his men had suffered no casualties. The emus' report noted that humans were slow-moving and stupid.

 

The House of Representatives debated the matter and questions were asked of the minister regarding whether medals were to be awarded for survivors of the campaign.

 

The question of why, blessed as we are with a native animal that is essentially a cross between an armoured car and a velociraptor, our military has not taken advantage by training emus for combat duty in the ADF, remains unanswered to this day.

 

Got it?

 

OME

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Brilliant post Sir ! !

 

'. . a native animal that is essentially a cross between an armoured car and a velociraptor. . . '

 

Utterly sublime. . . . .

 

 

[Marty_d]

There's another 4 humorous histories in that set... but yes the emu story was the best.

 

However I reckon it's not the only bird Australia has lost a war against, the old sulphur-crested cockatoo has probably driven more farmers to drink than marriage has.

 

The emu war and a frypan fight: Australia's hilarious history

 

 

[PA.]

It is legal to shoot Emus but only when they are flying, and they know this.

 

 

[Geoff13]

I heard that they were fair game if they were running backwards as well.

 

 

[Marty_d]

Shooting them's one thing... getting them in the oven for the Sunday roast is the hard bit.

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

...However I reckon it's not the only bird Australia has lost a war against, the old sulphur-crested cockatoo has probably driven more farmers to drink than marriage has...

I despise the buggers; even their screech sends my blood pressure up. They've done enormous damage to my trees, yet they do most of their feeding on the ground. Being grassland feeders I reckon they're genetically programmed to stop trees from reproducing; they'll strip all the flowers and seeds and eat nothing. They're in plague proportions because of changes made by white fellas. My stupid greenie mates lump them in with actually endanger animals.

They should be exporting rather than protected.

 

 

[kaz3g]

I despise the buggers; even their screech sends my blood pressure up. They've done enormous damage to my trees, yet they do most of their feeding on the ground. Being grassland feeders I reckon they're genetically programmed to stop trees from reproducing; they'll strip all the flowers and seeds and eat nothing. They're in plague proportions because of changes made by white fellas. My stupid greenie mates lump them in with actually endanger animals.They should be exporting rather than protected.

Actually, the old Long-billed Koreelahs ...Corellas...damned predictive text...are more of a pest in the wheat lands than the cockies and, like the cockies, the Eastern Grey 'Roos and a number of other species, they have expanded their range enormously because of the changes we have made to their habitat.

 

Kaz

 

Joke OK...no offence intended

 

 

[Yenn]

The ducks and magpie geese won the war of the Ord Irrigation Scheme. It was designed to open up the North to rice growing, but all it did was fatten and increase the breeding od ducks. The Ord scheme is still only tiny, but there are moves to get it going again. Just the same as there are moves to grow timber on the ex canefields around Mackay. Timber was planted around where I live many years ago and was supposed to be harvestable in 10 years. Now they are bulldozing it out, all it would make was matchsticks and being eucalypt they would be useless for that.

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

Actually, the old Long-billed Koreelahs ...Corellas...damned predictive text...are more of a pest in the wheat lands than the cockies and, like the cockies, the Eastern Grey 'Roos and a number of other species, they have expanded their range enormously because of the changes we have made to their habitat.Kaz

 

Joke OK...no offence intended

All true Kaz, but I love the call of the Corellas- we see quite a few but they've never done me any harm.

 

 

[waraton]

Jabirus are still flying across this great country despite having endured what some have called a war. As resilient as the emu and a much better flyer !

 

 

[turboplanner]

All true Kaz, but I love the call of the Corellas- we see quite a few but they've never done me any harm.

Did you train this one?

 

 

 

[Bikky]

They should be exporting rather than protected.

I agree totally! Australian parrots are worth a small fortune here and in other countries. It would be a viable export industry and it would kill the illegal and cruel live smuggling trade. Not uncommon to walk down the street here and see people with cockatiels on their shoulders.

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

Did you train this one?

He must have learned to talk by listening to CB.

 

 

[Gnarly Gnu]

The question of why, blessed as we are with a native animal that is essentially a cross between an armoured car and a velociraptor, our military has not taken advantage by training emus for combat duty in the ADF, remains unanswered to this day.

Well the Mudjahadeen did try to conscript a Kangaroo to Isis, haha hopefully that turkey is locked away for a long time. On the other hand perhaps an original thought is to be celebrated with this mob, even a really bad one.

 

 

[Litespeed]

That video is great.

 

Love a bird that can tell you off by swearing like a trooper and it even made sense to a degree.

 

We actually are really lucky for the shear variety of birds we have and most are complete smartarses. Birds are proven to be far smarter than most realise.

 

The Raven is the smartest and a incredible problem solver. As smart as any monkey including many hominids

 

 

[Litespeed]

Yes we should have a dedicated export program as Aussie birds are the world's most sort after.

 

Budgie is most popular, still can talk but cheap and legal. A Gang Gang can be up too $100k on black market. The cruelty in smuggling is awful.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

He must have learned to talk by listening to CB.

I know a couple of pilots who learned a bit by flying thru CB. . . . . . .