This one deserves a re-run

[Old Koreelah]

A bloke goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

 

She says hello and he's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

 

So he says, 'Do you know me?'

 

She replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

 

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my mates watching while your friend whipped my **** with wet celery?'

 

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher!

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Good old oldies are always worth repeating, thanks!

 

 

[Birdseye]

Still have a chuckle every time I read it. One of those embarrassing moments, such as asking a large female when she is due.....and she isn't.

 

 

[Geoff13]

You never ever ever ask a women if she is pregnant unless you can actually see the baby emerging.

 

Never ever.

 

 

[IBob]

I see posts here about oil pressure problems, and it always makes me think of this:

 

An Asian gentleman walks into a bank, pops open a briefcase full of notes and says "One million yuan...how much dollar?"

 

The teller does the sums and says "One hundred eighty five thousand dollar".

 

The Asian gentleman says "Okay" so they take the yuan and give him the dollars.

 

The next day he walks in, same again "One million yuan...how much dollar?", again the sums "One hundred eighty five thousand dollar", the Asian gentleman says "Okay", they take the yuan and give him the dollars.

 

Third day, he's back again "One million yuan...how much dollar?"

 

A bit longer on the calculator this time, then the teller says "One hundred seventy nine thousand dollar".

 

"How come?" says the Asian gentleman.

 

"Well, it's the exchange rates" says the teller "it's the fluctuations, y'know".

 

"Right" says the Asian gentleman "well, and fluctuOzzies too. I take my money somewhere else!"

 

 

[IBob]

We all remember the 'old' stick deodorants, right? I just came across this quote from a user:

 

"I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely."

 

 

[Birdseye]

Chap walks into the chemist and asks for some deodorant. "Do you want spray or the ball type", asked the shop assistant. "I'd better have the spray, its for under my arms", he replied.