It has finally come to the flying world!

[planedriver]

I'm just touching base with you all.

 

 

 

Just so you’re up to date!

 

 

Due to the increased focus on sexual misconduct issues in the media,

 

the reference to "Touch & Go” landings has been

 

deleted from the ATC Approved Phraseology Handbook.

 

 

[planedriver]

"Lower them gently, then take-off" has also been ruled out as a suitable alternative.

 

 

[rgmwa]

... and also "Missed Approaches".

 

rgmwa

 

 

[Bryon]

... and also "Missed Approaches".rgmwa

Does that mean that when I take my girlfriend out into the "fog and mist" I must interpret its meaning differently......

 

 

[Yenn]

What are they calling them now? Rolf Harris’s or mayb Don Berks.

 

 

[Happyflyer]

Cockpit, joystick and flaps also have to go.

 

 

[djpacro]

Stop saying “roger”

 

 

[GraemeK]

Stop saying “roger”

No more slipping it in if you're a bit high either ...

 

 

[red750]

Ouch! The puns!

 

 

[bexrbetter]

So I guess I won't be coming in for anymore nose landings.

 

That's going to lower my angle of incidence.

 

 

[apm]

Don't mention the wing root

 

 

[rgmwa]

That's going to lower my angle of incidence.

You may have to try another angle of attack.

 

 

[ClintonB]

i supose "going down" when the inevitable happens wont work any more

 

 

[old man emu]

Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre kiss me!" Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's Lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie.

 

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles and they start kissing.

 

When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." Pierre tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.

 

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!"

 

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!" Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac, and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep in the water, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "Pierre, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

 

Pierre stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"

 

 

[planedriver]

No more 'up up and away's", either.

 

It could be construed as leaving the scene of an accident.

 

 

[alf jessup]

Does this mean I can’t go out to the airport and fill her up anymore???, no more polishing the knobs and flaps??, no more checking her undercarriage

 

 

[Admin]

you're all a pack of dags...so funny

[billwoodmason]

What about a wheels up - no more belly landings.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

, no more checking her undercarriage

Personally I avoid taildraggers.

 

 

[planedriver]

And on certain flights, the cockpit now to be referred to as "The Box Office"

 

 

 

[bexrbetter]

"The Box Office"

I'll take a front row ticket thanks.

 

 

[old man emu]

My boss (female) emailed this to me:

 

 

Hold my emails until further notice,as I am in hospital. I was badly attacked by a woman in an elevator. A witness got her photo.

 

 

I was in the elevator when she got in. I was casually staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1."

 

So I did ... and I don't remember much afterwards. May be out of the hospital in a week or two.

 

I chuckled at the misinterpretation of the question.

 

I wonder what sort of trouble I would be in if I had sent this to my boss (female).

 

 

[bexrbetter]

My boss (female) emailed this to me:.

I get the gist, and had a laugh, but the pictures aren't showing.

 

 

[old man emu]

Must have been the cut and paste.

 

The first picture is a bloke flat out on his back on a hospital gurney with an alcohol drip in his arm and hooked up to an ECG.

 

The second picture is a woman with long black hair and two of these stuffed on the front of her diaphanous T-shirt.