The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

......aircraft component manufacturing facilities, as he'd promised them a ride they'd never forget, which bragging comment was overheard by............

[turboplanner]

.......tomatoes which were the envy of every gardener in the district.

Of course the secret was mixing in a liberal dose of "CT Power" a new product. It was actually made by grinding down cats bones, thus solving the last sustainability issue of the cat farms, but we don't need to go into that here. CT Power was also sold in the car industry and was ideal to protect the inside of steel tubes from rusting. It was at a Recreational Aviation workshop seminar that ......................

[onetrack]

Turbo went on a promotional drive for his new product, even displaying "before" and "after" results, which showed that the treated products developed a fine furry coating that resembled.......

 

(and here we are again, Dear NES readers - having to explain once again, that both Turbo and Cappy suffer from the same dreadful aging syndrome - the FTKU syndrome. The Failure To Keep Up syndrome dogs many of the older members of the NES, and it rapidly shows up in disconnected posts and ramblings that disjoint the NES - sort of like the disjointed ramblings of current and past U.S. Presidents....)

[bull]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......tomatoes which were the envy of every gardener in the district.

Of course the secret was mixing in a liberal dose of "CT Power" a new product. It was actually made by grinding down cats bones, thus solving the last sustainability issue of the cat farms, but we don't need to go into that here. CT Power was also sold in the car industry and was ideal to protect the inside of steel tubes from rusting. It was at a Recreational Aviation workshop seminar that ......................

....the truth came out about the "other" plants turdo had been growing in between his tomato's and Border force had descended upon his huge............. 

[Captain]

7 hours ago, bull said:

....the truth came out about the "other" plants turdo had been growing in between his tomato's and Border force had descended upon his huge............. 

..... Cat Farm Complex (the TCCC) where he has, for decades, been cooking up cat-meat cookies infused with wacky tobacco ...... a culinary adventure that Cappy had originally opposed when it was first raised at board level, but then .....

[Captain]

11 hours ago, onetrack said:

(and here we are again, Dear NES readers - having to explain once again, that both Turbo and Cappy suffer from the same dreadful aging syndrome - the FTKU syndrome. The Failure To Keep Up syndrome dogs many of the older members of the NES, and it rapidly shows up in disconnected posts and ramblings that disjoint the NES - sort of like the disjointed ramblings of current and past U.S. Presidents....)

"Have the visitors left yet Matron, as they appear to have eaten most of my grapes again?" said Cappy as he was being wheeled down to spend the day with Turbo, for them both to be propped up in front of the TV, to oggle the nurses, and to occasionally be permitted to use the internet. 

Edited February 27 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....except that in this case there's good reason for the mixups; the posts aren't numbered.

If they were then of course neither of these polished performers would write post 12356 after post 12357.

A small thing, but it shows that anyone can be caught out, particularly when trying to introduce new and original subject matter, although Turbo is a bit confused about how one would oggle a nurse ................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

A small thing, but it shows that anyone can be caught out, particularly when trying to introduce new and original subject matter, although Turbo is a bit confused about how one would oggle a nurse .....

 

As is increasingly the case these days, although I do accept that he is often overloaded running the Turbine conglomerate + via his required constant and essential interaction with governments worldwide, NES contributors need to explain stuff to Turdy, so here is another example.

 

To "oggle", or sometimes spelt correctly as "ogle", means to "eye amorously or provocatively". And from his considerable personal experience, a number of nurses really love it.

Edited February 27 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........when he tells them stories about flying,  and the escapades of Cappy flying, or rather manhandling his J230 through the grape vines of the Riverina, like the time .........

[Captain]

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........when he tells them stories about flying,  and the escapades of Cappy flying, or rather manhandling his J230 through the grape vines of the Riverina, like the time .........

..... when a particularly attractive and voluptuous young nurse asked Cappy "Which takes like more skill, darling, to fly like uncoordinated or to have that like little ball thingy just sitting, like boringly, down the bottom like that?"

 

"It is the former, my dear" he replied with extreme modesty. 

 

"Wow Cappy. You are like really just an older, cooler (yet also wayyy like hotter) and taller, Tom Cruise in Top Gun, or is it Tom Hanks in like ......

Edited February 27 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......"Sleepless in Seattle" mode?

As Cappy reached for his keyboard to type an email, the Nurse caught a whiff of gin.

Not many people know Turbo has a degree in Body Language Speed Reading and saw the nurse recoil, but a miracle happened and so did Cappy who quickly slipped into the Forest Gump part with a limp and waverng voice. Of course the Nurse fell for him and they ran all over the country for three years.

When they got back a puffing Cappy said "......................

 

[Captain]

..... "She didn't die, but she is severely incapacitated, so can you .....

[turboplanner]

........give her a jar of those Vitamin cAT pills made by Turbine Pharmaceuticals?

Turbo sent two tonnes f bottles and the Nurse never looked back and is now an Angelina Jolie stunt double in Hollywood.

 

Turbo noticed that Cappy had been restless since he got back so he bought him a prawn trawler, based it in Bundaberg. Cappy was still restless, having sold his beloved but dented J230, so Turbo bought him the very latest aircraft flying in Recreational Aviation, a 1962 Cessna 150, and based it at Mon Repos Beach where Bert Hinkler got his start in flying.  Like Bert he put a wing or two into the sand before he mastered flying the C150, They were cute, but a vicious little thing unforgiving of mistakes or running turtles.

 

The C150 has an undercarriage like a Sherman tank, an instrument panel like an Austin 7 and a whine like a Humber Snipe diff. Cappy loved it; much better than the home made stuff and ...............

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The C150 has an undercarriage like a Sherman tank, an instrument panel like an Austin 7 and a whine like a Humber Snipe diff. Cappy loved it; much better than the home made stuff and ...............

..... felt himself to be a REAL pilot again, .......... then felt himself again, and .....

[onetrack]

........felt the bones sticking through the flesh, and decided he needed a tonic and weight gain product. He asked Turbo what was available in the Turbine Pharmaceuticals range?

 

Turbo replied enthusiastically, "Well, we have this major award-winning product, that will put muscle and bulk on ancient, decrepit bodies, and this stuff is made just for the likes of you!! I can add in an annual membership to a Turbine Gyms facility as well, so you can pump iron, and bulk up your scrawny, pathetic-looking body, so you no longer look like the 98 pound weakling in the Charles Atlas body-building ads!"

 

"That sounds great!", said Cappy enthusiastically. "I've been having trouble trying to develop enough strength to pull the control column in the C-150, so if you can deliver on your promises, I'll gladly......

[Captain]

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

bones sticking through the flesh

Sorry Onesie, but Turbine Pharmaceuticals, which just offer salt tablets (without much salt) rebadged as penicillin or whatever is needed, don't have much to suit bones penetrating skin.

[Captain]

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

"That sounds great!", said Cappy enthusiastically. "I've been having trouble trying to develop enough strength to pull the control column in the C-150, so if you can deliver on your promises, I'll gladly......

..... loop the proverbial C-150 loop, then add a Dutch roll and a French croissant, before I ......

 

For those thousands of readers who are not yet real pilots, below indicates a Dutch Roll.

The French Croissant diagram will follow. 

PS .... You do not always have to land on runway 08 ............. and the phuging phugoid oscillation can be a deadset pain in the arse too. 

Edited February 29 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........land and have a nice Roman Plunge.

Not many peolple know that Turbo is endorsed on a C150 and the endorsement proudly signed off by his late CFI (who "went in" with 34 passengers in a Beech Queenair).

As a helpful note to others where the "enorsement" has changed to just walking to a different point airside to where a C150 is parked; getting control of the phugoid is the key to flying a C150 without the  making an ass of yourself or even appearing in a warning from ATSB.

The first step is to give it a good wash using a bottle of "Flash" dish washer from Aldi. This frees up ...............

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The first step is to give it a good wash using a bottle of "Flash" dish washer from Aldi. This frees up ...............

...... some much needed shopping space at Woolies and Coles, and that ......

Edited February 29 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......means lower prices. In fact if they took everything off the shelves the poor people would be able to afford groceries. Gone are the days when, if you ordered a pound of radisges from the grocer he'd hop in his Ford Prefect, go round to the market gardener, then drop them round to your place, or when .......

[Captain]

50 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......means lower prices. In fact if they took everything off the shelves the poor people would be able to afford groceries. Gone are the days when, if you ordered a pound of radisges from the grocer he'd hop in his Ford Prefect, go round to the market gardener, then drop them round to your place, or when .......

..... he took over the market garden + 6 more, expanded the store into 20 adjoining suburbs, and flicked the Prefect in preference for a new Customline, then he would .....

Edited February 29 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........put all the fragile products at kid height so when they pulled them out and broke them the "Trolley Weight" as the Supermarkets call it, would increase, and he could buy the Bentley S, or even a Thruster, but ........

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........put all the fragile products at kid height so when they pulled them out and broke them the "Trolley Weight" as the Supermarkets call it, would increase, and he could buy the Bentley S, or even a Thruster, but ........

..... he was found wanting when he joined Wreck Flying and pretended to know & comment on everything about Incidents and Accidents + the history of Aviation Legislation back to 1740, but that was ........

[turboplanner]

......in the past. Now he just uses the name Ambivulant and uses AI to make posts so they are ...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......in the past. Now he just uses the name Ambivulant and uses AI to make posts so they are ...........

..... all derived from Alan Incognito (AI), who many of us suspect is connected to Turbine Robotics.

 

Soon everyone started to use AI, even for 5 minute presentations at Rotary, or at the local Aero Club, with many styling their weekly piss-up as AI @ the AC, and dear old Al was run off his feet preparing ......

Edited February 29 by Captain