The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.......go back to the Mosque with a 44 of 5 day old prawns and dump them on the steps, and tell the worshippers that Allah had now deemed the Mosque unclean, and they now had to...........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

.......go back to the Mosque with a 44 of 5 day old prawns and dump them on the steps, and tell the worshippers that Allah had now deemed the Mosque unclean, and they now had to...........

..... become Catholic and learn to preach the Latin Mass.

 

Either that, or play the tambourine on a street corner and be a .....

[turboplanner]

.......witness should Jehova come along and ................................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......witness should Jehova come along and .......

..... hand out a free Flight Manual + a voucher for a TIF.

 

They would then add "We'd like to talk to you about to holy triumvirate of Cessna, Turbine Industry's and .....

[turboplanner]

.......our new free trips to Israel deal.

But there were no takers. Perhaps it was the smell of the  incense, CatP, perhaps it was the long flowing gowns and flea-ridden hair; too much a reminder of the past where Hare Krishnas would run through the streets banging on cymbals and drums and afterwards you'd find you didn't have a wallet.

So the Mosque people ended up in a blnid alley ................... 

Edited March 7 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.......and they had to find their way back to spiritual cleanliness again. Ahmed, who was the mosque Muezzin, decided he'd install signs telling people to wash their hands more often.

He wangled a great deal in surplus COVID-19 signage, but the problem was, there weren't enough of the signs in multiple languages.

 

As result, he called on Turbo to request his help, as he knew there was a Turbine Languages division, within the Turbine Conglomerate of global operations.

Turbo said, "Ahmed, I can do a great deal for you. It involves a little bit of running through Gaza tunnels, but I'm sure you'll be up to it! All you have to do is.........

[Captain]

On 05/03/2024 at 9:49 AM, Captain said:

The boss of GreenPiss issued a press statement that said "Bull will make the Pacific Ocean look like the Sahara Desert, except wetter, ......... and this is a blow for humanity, World Peace, Global Warming, Continental Cooling and the little fishies, ....... as Captain Bull is one of the most effective .......

Dear Readers and Concerned Citizens of the World. The above statement has come true in a frightening fashion, as Captain Bull has devastated the NZ WhiteBait industry up and down the NZ west coast, by employing his new long-line technique (The CptBT), over just a few weeks he has decimated the whitebait fish stocks. This has however meant that Whitebait is now a staple of the Queensland Tourist Industry.

 

When asked for a comment, live on the Morning Show, Capt. Bull said "Sure the hooks are tiny and it takes a long time to bait each one of them, plus we use 5 kms of sewing cotton as the long-line, but it has been a pleasure to apply good old Qld knowhow and wipe out this Kiwi delicacy before rebirthing it in the great state of Qld".

 

A typical Capt. Bull WhiteBait catch, by the tens of thousands of tonnes. (The hooks have been removed).

 

A typical Qld WhiteBait Fritter .... also using best quality Qld grass. This has become the Qld State Dish to be served as every meal at the Olympics ...... which have also been named after Capt. Bull..

Edited March 8 by Captain

[Captain]

12 hours ago, onetrack said:

As result, he called on Turbo to request his help, as he knew there was a Turbine Languages division, within the Turbine Conglomerate of global operations.

Turbo said, "Ahmed, I can do a great deal for you. It involves a little bit of running through Gaza tunnels, but I'm sure you'll be up to it! All you have to do is.......

...... knock off the thousands of little green exit signs that show an arrow and the little green man running for the exit, and bring them to be rebirthed by Turbine Signs, ....... plus grab a couple of thousand Emergency Assembly Point signs too, as we can reuse those as well. And I'll pay a generous bonus if you can get me a "Penny Wong Memorial Tunnel" sign too, as .......

Edited March 8 by Captain

[Captain]

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

there was a Turbine Languages division, within the Turbine Conglomerate of global operations.

Many westerners thought that this was a noble initiative by Turbo, to teach languages in order to make the world a better place ....... and bi, tri or quattro-lingual.

 

But no .......................................... the Turbine Languages Division (TLD) actually makes-up brand-new languages and sells them (at a considerable markup) to the World Economic Forum, which use them to further oppress the peasants, wherever they find them.

 

(This further explains Turbo's absence from the NES around mid-January each year, as it turns out that Turbo has been admitted to the WEF Club of 1000 and he goes to Davos each year. He makes a real splash when he flies in with a beat-up (sorry ....... a missed approach) and then by buzzing the tower, in his private F16, and he is much loved there, possibly being groomed to succeed Klaus.)

Edited March 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Albo is paying $125 mil. for a tunnel plus sealing withing the next 30 days or sooner.

In the Golden days of American Tourists in Australia where  our friends, whether from New York or Des Moines, Iowa would land in the Qantas Super Constellation after a 15 day trip, buy the Sydney Harbour Bridge, catch the Ansett flight to Hayman Island or if it was booked out,  the Gold Coast and sit down at a restaurant for a $500 dinner and a black & white photo of Mayor Bruce Small, who made his money out of Malvern Star bicycles. As Chuck picked up the menu he would say: "Ethel (there was once a Ford model called an Ethel), Ah think ah'll hev the Barrymundi, and if the cut of flake was small, would shrug it off as part of eating the most exotic fish in the world, today's tourist, after going out to Sea World to make sure all the flags were the Indian National Flags and not Aboriginal or North Sea islands and there was a "Welcome India" sign out the front then watching the two guys dive off the specator area, retrieve a floating ball and throw it to an indian in the audience (Which replaced the old Cypress Gardens Water Ski Spectacular which had 42 blondes being towed by a boat with a 30 hp motor), would negotiate a dinner with all you can eat for $15.99, decide to have one of "Captain Bull's Giant Barramundi" and on seeing a lonely little whitebait on the plate, erupt into the foulest language ever ................

 

[Captain]

.... however they just did not understand the economics of travelling across the ditch, baiting & deploying 100,000 hooks, dehooking each whitebait as it thrashed about, keeping them all alive for the trip back over the Tasman, individually numbering them and putting them in tanks up & down the Qld coast, so that customers could choose their own and then have it despatched in front of them via a unique Qld Harrikarri manner before cooking and presenting it to the customer in a flourish of ....

[turboplanner]

....smoke and fairy dust.

It all cost money and Captain Bull realised he would have to take on some extra work like charters to Tahiti or ....................

[onetrack]

.....barnstorming in a turbocharged Drifter (long overdue avref, thanks to Bull re-routing the NES to nautical tales), if he wanted to become a fully qualified baitlayer.

So, Cappy set off on a search for.........

[turboplanner]

......a baitlaying pilot and Captain Bull built a deck on top of his trawler, and Captain Bull's Aircraft Carrier Flights using the Drifter.  He added "Cocktails on the deck at 5 pm and Dinner (Giant Barra) at .............

[onetrack]

.....6:30PM, commencing with Whitebait fritters for entrees". Bull made sure the brochures were sprinkled with words such as "choice, eh?", "cuzzy bro", "chur", "chocka", "munted" and "chully bin", just to make sure the Kiwis didn't feel left out of the deals.

With days, thousands of bookings from Kiwiland flooded in, as Kiwis sought to escape their boring mundane lives, that largely featured crap weather, freezing cold, constant earthquakes, and regular bad news of more criminal Kiwis being deported from Australia.

North Queensland never looked so good to them - and as his bank account filled up, Bulls grin got even wider than the grin he got, when he caught the biggest.........

 

Edited March 8 by onetrack

[Captain]

..... dose of the .....

Edited March 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........runs he'd ever had. The trail behind the trawler spread for two square kilometres.

After this he polished up his HAACP skills, and focused on the Drifter Flight programme, setting up deck chairs along the side of the runway so the guests could get that "up front and personal" view lie Jonah nd the whale, but a student on approach .......................

[bull]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........runs he'd ever had. The trail behind the trawler spread for two square kilometres.

After this he polished up his HAACP skills, and focused on the Drifter Flight programme, setting up deck chairs along the side of the runway so the guests could get that "up front and personal" view lie Jonah nd the whale, but a student on approach .......................

.got a dose of the sh#ts as well and old Bull being the excellent fisherman that he is , noticed that the prawns where jumping out of the water eating the brown trail.....Now this gave Bull an idea so laxatives where added to the menu and soon the prawn catches where out of control . Now on top of the ballistic [avref] white bait { Bulls treated cooked prawns at market]   ......catches and the tourism venture with the drifters [another avref] his cooked ready to eat Banana prawns where................

[turboplanner]

.....Queenslanders take bananas too small for the markets, quarter them and cut rings around them, paint them orange and sell them as cooked banana prawns.

ACIS have made many attempts to stop this traffic because Victorians don't know what a prawn is and have become partial to banana prawns, but the Queenslanders argue that they are legally selling bananas shaoed like prawns and no one's c......................

[Captain]

A Mextorian eating what had been sold to her at the Turbine Fish Market as a Banana Prawn at $75/kg.

 

 

The Banana Dolphin, currently protected in Mextoria.

Edited March 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......omplained (Turbo has had ro banana-hop because Cappy got carried away by his post.)

Turbine Dolphin Series Inc has made $1.2 million nett this year with their AI DolphinEye progamme, the first line being .................................

[onetrack]

......tiny plastic dolphins made in Turbines China factories using AI stolen from the Americans, with the dolphins able to interact with children by eyeballing them, and talking to them in a cute Dolphin-squeak voice. The product was a massive hit, and the outlets were struggling to keep up.

The Turbine talking, eyeballing, AI Dolphin product made Coles Little Shop miniatures look positively tame in the collector stakes, and wasn't long before people were being stalked and robbed at gunpoint for their Turbo Tiny Dolphins.

At this point, the new commander of VicPol, Chief Commissioner Doubtfire, held a press conference to address community fears over the impact the Turbine product was having on their formerly safe and civil society. Doubtfire started her speech with, "We need to reassure the public that.........

[turboplanner]

......although I am from Wagga Wagga, I am human. At this it seemed that many in the crowd were not convinced. Perhaps it was the peroxide hair, perhaps it was the tattoos, perhaps it was the fact that se was from New South Wales, a dingy little State compared with Queensland or Tasmania or even Victoria. As the rumbling grew louder, ....................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......although I am from Wagga Wagga, I am human. At this it seemed that many in the crowd were not convinced. Perhaps it was the peroxide hair, perhaps it was the tattoos, perhaps it was the fact that se was from New South Wales, a dingy little State compared with Queensland or Tasmania or even Victoria. As the rumbling grew louder, ....................

..... she ordered the VicPol rubber bullet firing group to surround her, facing outwards towards the Press in case there were any curly questions, and had an aircraft (avref) warming up at Tulla in the manner of a frightened dictator ready to leave the country >with a flightplan filed to Strahan), and ......

Edited March 10 by Captain

[turboplanner]

sent a text to Captain Bull saying "Save me my hero!"

However Captain Bull had been through tis before and replied " ..................