The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......the latest at the Double Bay Latte shops."

Soon there were trails of little old US ladies trying to drive down the RH lanes of those narrow Sydney streets, and ...

[Captain]

On 02/11/2024 at 11:00 AM, turboplanner said:

......the latest at the Double Bay Latte shops."

Soon there were trails of little old US ladies trying to drive down the RH lanes of those narrow Sydney streets, and ...

..... after topping up with coffee and bagels, they all headed out to The Oaks where they would have access to Aussie ultralight (recreational) flyboys, most of which are getting on and are relatively slow moving, so easier to catch.

 

Their trail of devastation through The Oaks is now a thing of legend, and the AUF lost several members that day, but .......

[turboplanner]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

..... after topping up with coffee and bagels, they all headed out to The Oaks where they would have access to Aussie ultralight (recreational) flyboys, most of which are getting on and are relatively slow moving, so easier to catch.

 

Their trail of devastation through The Oaks is now a thing of legend, and the AUF lost several members that day, but .......

....those who had practised Upsets and basic Aerobatics all survived. it was a lesson to all there that...........

[onetrack]

.....mixing coffee, bagels, aerobatics and upsets, is a dangerous mixture, and a terrible practice, and one that only leads to major losses of.......

[turboplanner]

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....mixing coffee, bagels, aerobatics and upsets, is a dangerous mixture, and a terrible practice, and one that only leads to major losses of.......

......balance....and we all know the importance of weight and balance.

So cunning Cappy started offering Weight and Balance courses by a very experienced aviator who had  beaten fearsome odds in places like the Ucayali tributary of the Amazon River where he had to fly under the trees with monkeys dropping on him now and again, Guinea Bisseau, The Khyber Pass and Kapooka. His tag line was "We can really shift your weight around!"

As time went on there were rumours and ........................

[onetrack]

.....innuendo that this Capt Cook, who was very fond of relating long and involved personal stories about daring and dangerous military exploits, in long-forgotten conflicts, was nothing more than a...........

[bull]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....innuendo that this Capt Cook, who was very fond of relating long and involved personal stories about daring and dangerous military exploits, in long-forgotten conflicts, was nothing more than a...........

.......paper tiger [AVREF ,,,long overdue to!] re:"Paper tiger" is a calque of the Chinese phrase zhǐlǎohǔ (simplified Chinese: 纸老虎; traditional Chinese: 紙老虎). The term refers to something or someone that claims or appears to be powerful or threatening but is actually ineffectual and unable to withstand challenge. !...Now this announcement cause a ripple of disent all alone the............ 

Edited November 5 by bull

[turboplanner]

...embarrassment in the Bombay Club that a descendant of Captain Cook should be a mere calque! "The last calque around here was taken out and fed to a Bengal Tiger, what!" said Sir William Orpington-Smythe who was prone to spreading gossip about others in the Club.

 

Cappy ......................

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..... embarrassment in the Bombay Club that a descendant of Captain Cook should be a mere calque! "The last calque around here was taken out and fed to a Bengal Tiger, what!" said Sir William Orpington-Smythe who was prone to spreading gossip about others in the Club.

 

Cappy .....

..... was again able to maintain his haughty and dignified demeanor and asked "WTF is a calque?"

 

"Look it up on the interweb using Dr Google" suggested bull, who was partway through pulling in the nets for the next $400,000 (US) haul.

 

"Thanks bull, dear friend" said Cappy as he fired off a worldwide search, then quickly added "FMD, a calque is a "loan translation", so that means bugger all and is too much for Crappy to reconcile, when he is under pressure to complete his contract with the CPC (Cappy is consulting on the aerodynamic (avref) shape of the Chinese lunar module, which by an amazing coincidence, he had based on the shape of the cutout of the Tiger Moth fuselage (avref) (except cylindical then pointy [see technical justification in the video below]) in bull's recent post just 2 items above.

 

"The CPC loved it and Crappy, from the Chinese year of the Rat, ......

 

 

Edited November 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......a most auspicious coming together of moons and this came to the notice of Chairman Xi who called Cappy in for a chat.

 

Cappy's brassy mood (as shown by the self-promoting effort above) froze momentarily, but when he was ushered in Chairman Xi said "Cappy, I'm not interested in your usual XXXXXXX stories; my question is can we fit a machine gun to the front of your lunar module?"

 

Cappy said "Yes, but why would you want to do that Chairman?"

 

Xi said "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but ..............."

 

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Xi said "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but ........

..... just in case the moon is made of cheddar, instead of Swiss cheese, we will shoot it full of holes so that it whistles as it circles the earth, and ......

[turboplanner]

...but Cappy broke in and said " that's BS, Chairman, we in the west know it's made of rocks and sand."

Xi beamed; this man was not a fool (although it has to be said you can't be sure in just a few sentences) and he said "What I really want to do is knock out some of these Satellites which are spying on us every day as we go about our lawful business.

Cappy .................

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...but Cappy broke in and said " that's BS, Chairman, we in the west know it's made of rocks and sand."

Xi beamed; this man was not a fool (although it has to be said you can't be sure in just a few sentences) and he said "What I really want to do is knock out some of these Satellites which are spying on us every day as we go about our lawful business.

Cappy .................

..... laughed so hard at this that he ended up with a dot of shame on the front of his new CCP issued Kling Lee blue work shorts and matching tlucky's brue singret.

 

The Chairman's wife then interceded on Cappy’s behalf because while it was not widely known, she and Cappy had been playing strip majong up in the Chairman's palace, and she had got a glimpse of his ......

Edited November 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....pandas and looked like she might be interested despite the threat of being beheaded by six terra cotta warriors, but just then OT walked in and .....

Edited November 5 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

....told Cappy to go change his underwear to the regulation CCCP red, because it was embarrassing to see a man of his reputed stature in his underwear, let alone Panda-symbol underwear. Cappy looked crestfallen. He'd hoped the Panda symbolism would mean he was........

[turboplanner]

.......classified as Chinese, but of course there were some members of AUF who were, Like Mr Magoo, a few hours late in the Greenwich Meantime world. Cappy raced for the bathrooms   but in has haste dropped his Panda shorts in the floor slot. He was frowned upon by several old men squatting and grunting and while quickly pulling his red shorts out of his pocket caught a compact gin bottle and it flicked straight towards the nearest old man who caught it and held it up, with a delighted grin to his mates. Cappy left that room with the code identifying him as a genuine Chinese of Mongol Ancestry (M. Polo 1210 - 1264)

 

He strode confidently back into the meeting room and Chairman Xi welcomed him with open arms.

 

"Should I buy these machine guns from Turbine Firearms, and Cappy the Nouveau Chink that he was said "No, I can supply cheaper".

 

XI looked him straight in the eye and said "How much"

 

Nes readers will know that Cappy never quite understood the skills required for marketing and at that cricial moment Cappy froze, much like his ancestor had done on Waikiki beach..........................

[bull]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......classified as Chinese, but of course there were some members of AUF who were, Like Mr Magoo, a few hours late in the Greenwich Meantime world. Cappy raced for the bathrooms   but in has haste dropped his Panda shorts in the floor slot. He was frowned upon by several old men squatting and grunting and while quickly pulling his red shorts out of his pocket caught a compact gin bottle and it flicked straight towards the nearest old man who caught it and held it up, with a delighted grin to his mates. Cappy left that room with the code identifying him as a genuine Chinese of Mongol Ancestry (M. Polo 1210 - 1264)

 

He strode confidently back into the meeting room and Chairman Xi welcomed him with open arms.

 

"Should I buy these machine guns from Turbine Firearms, and Cappy the Nouveau Chink that he was said "No, I can supply cheaper".

 

XI looked him straight in the eye and said "How much"

 

Nes readers will know that Cappy never quite understood the skills required for marketing and at that crucial moment Cappy froze, much like his ancestor had done on Waikiki beach..........................

........in 1777 as old Cooky landed ashore with rum and food and sperm etc and the crew made the most of it ! This goes part way to explain old Cappy,s ancestry and race, Now some say he was mixed welsh and irish and several other countries but no one really knows much about our very own [NES] el Capitano/Cappy/ Rat whatever pronoun he is using that day. He is a man of mystery amongst us all and so intrenched into the higher levels of the NES that he has missed scrutiny and now it is time for him to...............

[onetrack]

.........expose himself, so the NES readers can judge the size of his..........

[turboplanner]

....fortune.

It happened almost immedately when Cappy blurted out his price just as a What's App came in from Turbo. Chairman Xi was holding his phone up and it caught Cappy's face and words.

Turbo didn't show that he'd seen and heard Cappy's treachery, just said  to Chairman XI, are you up for a tiger shoot in Bengal Saturday; I'm bringing the Challenger over. (Turbo always let Chairman Xi have a fly) Xi quickly accepted and Turbo smoothly said "I've managed to get a better price on those machine guns from another manufacturer, and quoted a figure ten cents under Cappy" As we know that's not always going to change someone's mind if there's been a handshake, but Turbo's master stroke was to say "Have you seen that Captain Cook scoundrel; the guns he sold to North Korea keep jamming and he's needed down there to explain himself ......if he can."

That did the trick and Ki said XXXX off! to Cappy, who was lucky to get through the gates of the Palace. A hundred metres down the road a Chinese Secret Police car...............

 

[Captain]

..... pulled up and grabbed him, a little roughly.

 

Cappy (now given [and liking] the title of Marco (of italian derivation and meaning Marco) Polo, being the heir to all of Mongolia and the Polo Mint confectionary fortune that goes with the territory.

 

"Where are you taking me boys?" He asked the Secret Coppers.

 

"Mrs Xi wants another crack at you" they replied, and gave him a new ....

 

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... pulled up and grabbed him, a little roughly.

 

Cappy (now given [and liking] the title of Marco (of italian derivation and meaning Marco) Polo, being the heir to all of Mongolia and the Polo Mint confectionary fortune that goes with the territory.

 

"Where are you taking me boys?" He asked the Secret Coppers.

 

"Mrs Xi wants another crack at you" they replied, and gave him a new ....

 

....pair of jocks and a shower in a can deodorant and some imported flavoured..............

Edited November 7 by bull

[Captain]

6 hours ago, bull said:

.... pair of jocks and a shower in a can deodorant and some imported flavoured ......

..... single use g-strings that .....

[turboplanner]

.......sounded much better than the A Flat he usually played juts to get attention, but the problem was whether to use it at the beginning to set the tone of the song or use it at the end as emphasis.

 

He was thinking about this when he heard the sound of heavy footsteps which sounded like military men .............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

He was thinking about this when he heard the sound of heavy footsteps which sounded like military men .............

.... but no, it was Mrs Xi in costume and ready to play the games.

 

Strip Mahjongg is an institution in China and the empress at the time indulged it with Cappy's original namesake + one of the more greedy Emprasses played it with each of the warriors that are modeled in terra cotta, hence the grins on their faces.

 

Cappy has always liked Mahjongg played a bit rough and he .....

 

An amazing Cappy looking Terra cotta warrior with a sly grin after winning 4 forfeits at strip Mahjongg 

 

Edited November 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....saw the Emprass Mahjongg coming towards him slowly.........and then he was woken by Turbo whispering "We have to get out of here now! They're going to behead you at dawn".

 

Turbo had risked his life by flying a Drifter in under the trees right up to the bottom of the Great Wall. 

 

Turbo knew the guards went home at dusk because really, who's going to steal it overnight. He expertly got the Ninja uniform over Cappy who was naked and ugly to the point of attracting attention from the Chinese.

 

The Drifter made it under the trees and zoomed off into the gloom, but Chinese radar picked them up off the coast. It was now a race between Chinese fighter aircraft and the Turbine Japan Defence Force (TJDF) which had been scrambled from Sendai, but thanks to the Chinese pilots being slow to get out of bed ................