The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

On 14/11/2024 at 8:18 AM, onetrack said:

 

Turbo and Cappy returned to Shangri-La with cartons and cartons of pyrrolizidine alkaloids. They would not only make massive profits selling the pyrrolizidine alkaloids pills, they would also present themselves as Shamans! 

Dear NESers. The below photo was taken today in a pre Colombian cultural museum in Costa Rica.

It shows a statue of a Sharman from around 2000 years ago.

This proves that Cappy & Turbs are not genuine Sharmen, because while Turbs and Cappy have been up the Khyber together, Cappy has never seen Turbo's, however Cappy can confirm that his is nowhere near as pointy as that shown on the statue. Size is also a bit of an issue too.

Edited Sunday at 12:47 AM by Captain

[Captain]

On 14/11/2024 at 10:31 AM, turboplanner said:

..... The four wheelers were lined up for a hundred metres, but this time he'd parked his Drifter with the Encabulator around the corner.

 

It didn't take long ...........

..... before he realized that it had been a mistake to remove the Encabulator and place it around that corner.

He needed to reunite them, but as is usual with four wheelers, the biggest .....

[turboplanner]

......advantage they have is taking off from a standing start and going like a cut snake.

Turbo did what he had to do; he swallowed a pyrrolizidine alkaloids pill, threaded his belt through the encabulator mounting and was soon flying [avref] at a handy five metres out of reach of the hordes of four wheelers, some of which had already started to seize engines.

 

Flying over a nearby hill, Turbo saw an airport and there sitting on the runway .........

 

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Flying over a nearby hill, Turbo saw an airport and there sitting on the runway .........

 

..... were 26 REX aircraft all with KEEP AWAY signs, written in the Malaysian lingo.

 

Turbo spotted an opportunity, as usual, and he .....

Edited Sunday at 10:36 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

....quickly translated the Malaysian, which the Shangri Lasans couldn't understand into English, which they could.

He built underground refuelling facilities and a Terminal with a big Shangri La sign on the front, and hit the social media in his "Influencer" persona offering flights for just $30,000.00 from anywhere in the world with the tag "Go there feeling old; come back decades younger.

 

The demand for Turbine Shangri flights was so great they had to buy new aircraft and ....... 

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....quickly translated the Malaysian, which the Shangri Lasans couldn't understand into English, which they could.

He built underground refuelling facilities and a Terminal with a big Shangri La sign on the front, and hit the social media in his "Influencer" persona offering flights for just $30,000.00 from anywhere in the world with the tag "Go there feeling old; come back decades younger.

 

The demand for Turbine Shangri flights was so great they had to buy new aircraft and ....... 

.... even had to implement Stage 2 of the underground Terminal which tripled the number of gates.

 

But where Turbo really shook up the aviation community was with the addition of an underground runway, which meant that .....

[turboplanner]

....even in the freezing blizzards of the Himalayas, aircraft could take off and land, particularly ..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....even in the freezing blizzards of the Himalayas, aircraft could take off and land, particularly ..........

..... under conditions where extreme cross-winds could be encountered.

 

The advantages of these ug attractions became self evident and all flight schools immediately dropped training for crosswind/crossed controls as Turbine Underground Runways Developments (TURDs) were contracted to build underground airports around the globe.

 

This made DG International immediately obsolete and the CT .....

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... under conditions where extreme cross-winds could be encountered.

 

The advantages of these ug attractions became self evident and all flight schools immediately dropped training for crosswind/crossed controls as Turbine Underground Runways Developments (TURDs) were contracted to build underground airports around the globe.

These new facilities meant that Boeing saw a way to pull themselves out of the doo-doo and they immediately reprised the Super Jumbo ....... followed by the Super-Dooper jumbo soon thereafter.

However these soon caused congestion issues in the hole where the aircraft went underground and vice verca.

[onetrack]

.....immediately saw the losses mounting at DG International, and promptly investigated the possibility of re-purposing the vast amount of DG rabbit warrens into underground runways.

Despite his intensive knowledge of rabbit numbers, behaviour and warren locations, CT was blown away when his warren investigations returned indications that the rabbits had already moved enough dirt to make 3 underground runways at DG - just with a little extra excavation work.

 

As the rabbits are masters at excavation, on a par with highly qualified miners, CT was intrigued to find that all that was needed was the removal of a number of pillars, and not only would there be room for 3 underground runways, all with different orientation - but there would also be room for an underground airport hotel, a DFO, several major retailers, plus extensive warehousing abilities, as well.

 

CT couldn't believe the figures, even though he went over them and re-checked them again, several times. It was just amazing, the numbers were out of...........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

CT couldn't believe the figures, even though he went over them and re-checked them again, several times. It was just amazing, the numbers were out of...........

..... this world, as no longer do runways need to be aligned with prevailing winds, and instead can be decided by the bunnies ..... mainly determined by the direction to the best paddocks of carrots, or where the hottest lady bunnies live.

 

So CT was up and running again, except that the high number of flight movements of Super Dooper jumbos meant that CT needed 2 holes, which also meant that .....

Edited Tuesday at 03:31 AM by Captain

[CT9000]

......there would be even more room for extra hotels, duty free shops, gift shops, and all those other high profit tenants..... 

[turboplanner]

........but out of his dream walked a hostile Dan Andrews in a red shirt, red chef cap and six days growth.....................

[CT9000]

......there would be even more room for extra hotels, duty free shops, gift shops, and all those other high profit tenants..... 

[CT9000]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........but out of his dream walked a hostile Dan Andrews in a red shirt, red chef cap and six days growth.....................

....oooohh look at that another bunny in disguise, loading up the hollow points unto the Ruger.....

[Captain]

8 hours ago, CT9000 said:

....oooohh look at that another bunny in disguise, loading up the hollow points unto the Ruger.....

.... and CT then made sure that his pushy was locked away in its shed, because Mrs Dan was nearby.

 

CT, who was now known as "Two Holes" by his mates at the DG Progress Association, became the ....

[turboplanner]

.......talk of the DG Pub when he clean missed the red bunny, who walked in shortly after, glowering and ordering a bottle of Glenfiddoch which he proceeded to down a glass at a time as he told anyone who cared that someone had tried to shoot him.

 

"Well you look like a rabbit in that red gear", an old man who hadn't recognised him drawled, and Dan threw his glass at him, missing and collecting CT on the nose, which started to bleed profusely. CT threw a blood-soaked chair at Dan which bruised him on the coxic.  Mrs Dan, waiting outside in the car listening to gaelic music, heard the noise and rushed in, belting the old man with a knock out blow. Skye, the barmaid who had arms as big as Dan's thighs belted Mrs Dan in the face, disfiguring her. Dan, with lightning speed dropped one on Skye, but Skye had been faster and had him securely by the nuts. "Do you kow who I am!!!!" screamed Dan, but CT chuckled and said "Brer Rabbit?"

At this stage the local Highway Patrol, standing in for Protective Services rolled in and started arresting people. Sergeant Doubtfire immediately sided with Skye after getting the secret signal. Constable Alastair Pritchard from Wangaratta recognised Dan and sided with him, switching off his body cam and wading into the old man and Skye, who nonchalantly grabbed his nuts with the other hand and started doing the stomp on the dance floor. Mrs Dan went for Sky'e eyes, an unprovoked assault, an an old woman from Craigieburn knocked her out with her gin bottle.

In the Court hearing afterwards Dan gave evidence that they'd just dropped in for a counter tea, had a great time listening to the band and enjoyed the meat pies. Mrs Dan complimented the hotel on the wonderful floral arrangements. But the old man laid charges and .........

[Captain]

.... was immediately arrested by VicPol as soon as the original report magically disappeared and a 000 call was doctored to make the innocent old bloke liable. (So just a typical night for Vicmanistan Emergency Services).

 

"Don't worry darling, this scam will work again" said Dan to .....

Edited Tuesday at 09:07 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........his wife who had just driven through a fence to avoid ...........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........his wife who had just driven through a fence to avoid .....

..... hitting one of CT's bunnies that was riding a bunny sized bicycle. 

 

"The bunny almost hit us" said Dan, as he scrambled to .....

[CT9000]

......maintain his composure whilst denying driving after consuming large quantities of grog ......

[Captain]

41 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......maintain his composure whilst denying driving after consuming large quantities of grog ......

..... and as this incident happened on a bunny bikeway near CT's main hole, Dan (AO, BO & CU) also deemed it to be .....

Edited Wednesday at 01:57 AM by Captain

[onetrack]

.....an offence against the order of Nature, which meant that the offence was moved to the Supreme Court, where it could be dealt with under more appropriate legislation, which was..........

[turboplanner]

.....the original intent but the Court was now stacked with Judges all from Wangaratta and the Wang Bowls Club lawn was growing weed..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....the original intent but the Court was now stacked with Judges all from Wangaratta and the Wang Bowls Club lawn was growing weed..................

.... that VicPol overlooked, then harvested, dried and sold because appropriate brown envelopes had been exchanged.

 

The Judges from Wang were also ....