The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

was made of tough fibre and .......

..... lace, to reflect his considerate and soft(ish) side, so the in this way, in what really helped his flying and made him much less ham-fisted, CT achieved a nirvana-like state of ....

[turboplanner]

....suspension. Bull had been watching all this in disbelief, but when he saw CT floating around the room in a Tutu, he couldn't help himself and called CT a .............

[CT9000]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....suspension. Bull had been watching all this in disbelief, but when he saw CT floating around the room in a Tutu, he couldn't help himself and called CT a .............

.....very clever person hiding the helium balloon like that ....  

[turboplanner]

....but CT's voice had become squeaky (like Cappy's) and he was becoming bigger and bigger, and his feet were leaving the ground. Rabbit pelts were falling out of his belt.

 

The local Chinese, who'd only expected to be having a quiet dinner and were terrified of these Australians, and started .........

[CT9000]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....but CT's voice had become squeaky (like Cappy's) and he was becoming bigger and bigger, and his feet were leaving the ground. Rabbit pelts were falling out of his belt.

 

The local Chinese, who'd only expected to be having a quiet dinner and were terrified of these Australians, and started .........

..... wondering why these Aussies needed to each have a Ruger 10 shot as well as a 12 gauge pump action just to open beer cans ...... 

[turboplanner]

.....and they found out when Turbo, who'd just arrived, shot the top off Cappy's gin bottle to get his attention. The BB shot ripped skin off his thumb and there was blood everywhere. Thay all had a good laugh when they realised the owner of the poky little factory had stitched them all up with worthless product then they walked down the street to have a telephone box conversation with him.

As we know, nothing is as fast as Chinese gossip, and the owner was crapping himself as they arrived. OT, who'd thought he had a winner with the Rooter........

[onetrack]

......was appalled to find that the Rooter was still in his yard, and that no-one wanted to transport it. All the transport operators claimed that DG was way off the beaten track, had a bad reputation for vehicles getting shot up indiscriminately, and the roads were nothing less than.......

[Captain]

...., but somewhat better maintained by the proud local "Community of the Five Holy Streams", than the road between Ewlyamartup and Tambellup which is the bra strap testing capital of the world (Turbine Hestia Inc have a technical office in the region), and which has been identified by the Chiropractic division if the World Health Organisation as the road most likely to cause .......

Edited December 1 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....haemorhoids, and there are handy medical packs in little red boxes along the way.

Paris Match, Newscorp and a few other perverts have temporary shelters at the worst places waiting to catch that SNAP! and bounced of a freed bra worthy of Page 1.

 

There was the Rooter, sitting in the sun on a log. It was painted CAT Yellow and had a little pussy on it as described in earlier posts.

 

OT walked up and gave it a kick to test the Chinese quality. There was a loud CRACK! and a piece fell off. OT wondered what would happen when it was coupled to a D7 and the hydraulics pushed it into the ground. "This one really would finish up in China" he thought.

 

As many people know, you don't DO this to OT and get away with it. The Great Boulder graveyard is testament to the many smart alecs who tried to take him down.

 

His eyes narrowed as he saw the sales manager coming towards him in boiler suit and thongs.

 

He reached for his ..........

 

 

 

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... As many people know, you don't DO this to OT and get away with it. The Great Boulder graveyard is testament to the many smart alecs who tried to take him down.

 

His eyes narrowed as he saw the sales manager coming towards him in boiler suit and thongs.

 

He reached for his ..........

.... Kurdaitcha slippers and his proven favorite bone, made from a sliver of either the jawbone of an ass or the arsebone of a jew, Cappy can never remember which, and OT headed for ...

 

Edited December 2 by Captain

[turboplanner]

47 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... Kurdaitcha slippers and his proven favorite bone, made from a sliver of either the jawbone of an ass or the arsebone of a jew, Cappy can never remember which, and OT headed for ...

 

........what turned out to be the Print Shop for this Construction Equipment knock off shop. He knew it was the Print Shop because it had a CE sign in 18 out of the 387 languages spoken around the world. They couldn't understand him so they passed him on to the Coal Burner Manager who looked after the heaters (if you ever have a problem with a Chinese machine, this is usually the best guy to ask for).  "Looter?" he asked showing some amusement, and OT had to walk nearly half a kilometre before........... 

 

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"Looter?" he asked showing some amusement, and OT had to walk nearly half a kilometre before ....

..... he calmed down enough to undertake a search on Google Maps for the nearest Turbine Screen & 3 D Printing Establishment.

 

OT, ever a man interested in the latest technology, felt that 3D Printing is the future and he was keen to see if Turbine 3D, the most advanced and price competitive in the world, can print using HT Steel and ESCO or Hardox wear surfaces.

 

The bloke at the Turbine 3D joint considered OT, standing there before him, and said ".....

Edited December 2 by Captain

[turboplanner]

“Ni Hao............”
OT fainted..........

[onetrack]

......from lack of liquid intake after such a gruelling trek, and the bloke at Turbine 3D brought him around by waving a bottle of Turbine Inc Whiskey under his nose. As part of his business reach and the need to regulary entertain Presidents and even lower classes of people (such as Tasmanians) who wanted to buy his products, Turbo thought it was a great idea to invest in a Whisky distillery.

 

His distillery, located on a remote stretch of the mighty Mekong River, used the river water as the basis of all the distilleries products (which included gin as well as whisky), and it was the smell of the Mekong River water that brought OT around rapidly and made him jump to his feet.

 

"That's VC and NVA I can smell!!" he yelled, as he reached for his trusty SLR - which he suddenly realised, was no longer in his possession. It was unnerving to OT to suddenly realise, that he was re-living the experience of keeping the nefarious Commies at bay, and........

[turboplanner]

......he finally had to face up to it that at the end of the war they were all paid a $50 bonus and bought scrap materials which they welded into products like engines and sold them to gullible Australians.

 

”This better than training XXXXXXX Vietnamese to dig tunnels” said

Lu Sbar Ing, the manager.

 

OT.....

 

[Captain]

.... then noticed Turbo's whisky marketing master stroke, as Tubb always includes 2 Mekong leaches in every bottle of his whisky, gin and other assorted hooch.

 

At the sight of the leaches looking out of the bottle at him, with their vicious little mouth parts seeking his succulent pink flesh, OT convulsed then commenced to bleed from several remnant leech sores that had started to heal in 1989 but had not quite finished, so OT .....

Edited December 3 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.... who was three at the time the Vietnam War broke out, but spent the duration of the war in Canada in case he was called up, decided to drag Turbo through the courts for inserting the Mekong leaches in whiskey.

 

In a landmark case, Turbo's lawyer, the Hon. CT Barnum showed the court a copy of Encyclopedia Britannica where the species Leachus Mekongrious was defined as an Animae Ferocii ("Wild Animal" for those whose native tongue is not Latin).

 So Turbo had no control over these wild animals, and as everyone could see the bottle was securely sealed.

 

OT lost the case which turned the slug in the bottle case on its head and was last seen doing aerobatics in his Extra 300 over the cities of the world towing a gin bottle around.

 

The case attracted the attention of bull who had extended his fortune by building a chain of restaurants called the raw prawn, and he thought he could increased traffic with a drink called "Prawn Bite", but it was failing because of the constant lines of smelly people asking for bait and ............. 

 

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.... who was three at the time the Vietnam War broke out, but spent the duration of the war in Canada in case he was called up,

Side Comment - It is a sad fact about Wreck Frying, and an even sadder reflection on our white Caucasian privileged skippy background, that we all tend to think that those behind the Forum names are white Skippy blokes that we would like to meet for a beer down the Rissole.

 

Well Turbo has obviously assumed & fallen for this about Onesie, who alluded to the following in a recent post, and whose real name is Tuấn Minh Trang Phương Nguyễn. This is why he remembers the Mekong leaches so well and is why he looked exactly like the bloke that shot may mate, & forward scout, Jimmy .... before J was Dusted Off.

 

Tuan came to Aussie on a leaky refugee boat and landed in NW WA, then gravitated initially to Perth to open a French Bread Shop (yeah sure, it really was French), then changed his name initially to Won Tlack, which became onetrack as he achieved "a full blown Michael Jackson" and bleached himself white, then went 100% Skippy, even to the extent of becoming a good old Aussie Rascal (after quitting from being the boss of the Vietnamese gang that controls Freo) and going on to run his great CAT Spares Scam.

 

I am proud to call OT a mate, but I never take my dog when I go to visit him, as he makes a great Bun Bo Hue.

 

Edited December 4 by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Side Comment - It is a sad fact about Wreck Frying, and an even sadder reflection on our white Caucasian privileged skippy background, that we all tend to think that those behind the Forum names are white Skippy blokes that we would like to meet for a beer down the Rissole.

 

Well Turbo has obviously assumed & fallen for this about Onesie, who alluded to the following in a recent post, and whose real name is Tuấn Minh Trang Phương Nguyễn. This is why he remembers the Mekong leaches so well and is why he looked exactly like the bloke that shot may mate, & forward scout, Jimmy .... before J was Dusted Off.

 

Tuan came to Aussie on a leaky refugee boat and landed in NW WA, then gravitated initially to Perth to open a French Bread Shop (yeah sure, it really was French), then changed his name initially to Won Tlack, which became onetrack as he achieved "a full blown Michael Jackson" and bleached himself white, then went 100% Skippy, even to the extent of becoming a good old Aussie Rascal (after quitting from being the boss of the Vietnamese gang that controls Freo) and going on to run his great CAT Spares Scam.

 

I am proud to call OT a mate, but I never take my dog when I go to visit him, as he makes a great Bun Bo Hue.

 

Side Comment to assist Cappy to put a  follow on statement after "up,";.

We are lucky on this site to have such an accurate recorder of history, stickler for the correct English of that time, and story teller of unparalelled skill. Cappy brings it to us as it was, warts and all (and sometimes more than warts.)

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The case attracted the attention of bull who had extended his fortune by building a chain of restaurants called the raw prawn, and he thought he could increased traffic with a drink called "Prawn Bite", but it was failing because of the constant lines of smelly people asking for bait and .....

...... the fact that bull's prawns have the biggest sh/t chute ever known to man, such that each one needs to be deveined using a chainsaw. 

 

The reason for the .....

[turboplanner]

.....interest was the recent story in the British magazine “The Lancet” which had discovered that the extended veins were a symptom of a type of cancer that was transferable to anyone who ate the prawns. Sales had dropped and bull started to worry about his $6 million order for another three CAT powered trawlers. Could he.....

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....interest was the recent story in the British magazine “The Lancet” which had discovered that the extended veins were a symptom of a type of cancer that was transferable to anyone who ate the prawns. Sales had dropped and bull started to worry about his $6 million order for another three CAT powered trawlers. Could he.....

..... deflect this by having Barry Obama say "bull's prawns are safe and effective" and then by bull feeding his prawns Bovear to stop their methane production?

 

The methane, pre expulsion, makes them float to the surface so that the Chinese can vacuum them into .....

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... deflect this by having Barry Obama say "bull's prawns are safe and effective" and then by bull feeding his prawns Bovear to stop their methane production?

 

The methane, pre expulsion, makes them float to the surface so that the Chinese can vacuum them into .....

.....plastic bags and sell them in the markets in competition with conventional trawlers like bull's. However bull had issued a world-wide press release explaining what Bovear does to the reproductive organs of little children and men. Withing a few weeks bull was needing the trawlers he'd ordered plus another six, and ......

 

NES News Item: The current fad in the Cattle and Dairy industries where feeding the animals with Bovear to reduce CO2 production has passed on some nasty diseases from the milk and meat and will be yet another headache for Albo to deal with in 2025 along with Tania P.

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....plastic bags and sell them in the markets in competition with conventional trawlers like bull's. However bull had issued a world-wide press release explaining what Bovear does to the reproductive organs of little children and men. Withing a few weeks bull was needing the trawlers he'd ordered plus another six, and ......

...... he also contracted Turbine Shipbuilding in Korea to build a Titanic sized Mothership to freeze the lady prawns, plus a cryogenics capable Fathership to freeze the boy prawns after they had been milked, so as to ......

Edited December 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........increase the operations tenfold.....or even twelvefold.

Cappy raises a salient point here. All we ever hear about is Motherships, and this is just another nail in the road to female domination where us males will be rationed .........