The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

............play Elvis Presley songs all day?

OT was apologising profusely when Turbo butted in "Where was it made?"

"china" replied OT and .................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............play Elvis Presley songs all day?

OT was apologising profusely when Turbo butted in "Where was it made?"

"china" replied OT and .................

.... "I really thought that having the program written on pianola rolls fitted well with the embiance of the Drifters, and would look quaint yet be effective."

 

"I'm ok with that" replied Tubb "As I grew up in that era where pianolas were 1st introduced, but it's the peddling to make the rolls turn, while trying to fly, that is the issue, and these old pharts that are trying to learn to fly the AUF-way run out of puff real quick".

 

"Leave it with me Turds" relied OT "I'll apply my earthmoving design skills again and develop a power takeoff that will operate off the arse-end of the rotax to power the roll, and Bob will be your Uncle, as soon as .....

Edited December 28, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........I get a reverse drive.

OT fitted it the next day and as soon as they started the engine there was a loud BANG!

"Where was the reverse drive made?" asked Turbo.

"china" replied OT and Turbo h............

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........I get a reverse drive.

OT fitted it the next day and as soon as they started the engine there was a loud BANG!

"Where was the reverse drive made?" asked Turbo.

"china" replied OT and Turbo h............

..... ad been about to hand Onesie a knuckle sandwich when Jacinta, known as Jazzy to insiders like Turbo, called him again.

 

Vicmanistanies have always regarded Turbo as a mutant cross between Alan Bond & Clive Palmer, and Jazzy was on the bite.

 

"G'day Turbs" she said "You are one of the few people with fortune enough to bail out your beloved Vicmanistan, and I'd do anything, (repeat anything), yes anything, if you would cure our financial malaise".

 

"Even what we spoke about last night?" responded Turbo with his hand on his .....

Edited December 28, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........debit card.

"Yes, even that" replied Jazzy and Turbo bought her a Schnauzer.

(We won't tell Cappy that she has pet names in ascending order and for Turbo calls herself Jac.

Cappy became wary and ..........

Edited December 28, 2024 by turboplanner

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........debit card.

"Yes, even that" replied Jazzy and Turbo bought her a Schnauzer.

(We won't tell Cappy that she has pet names in ascending order and for Turbo calls herself Jac.

Cappy became wary and ..........

.... recalled the below Les Patterson humorous anecdote. 

 

But Cappy’s wariness was well founded, because he knew that .....

 

 

Edited December 28, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...Jazzy tended to extract money from a lot of people by pretending to be besties with them, and giving herself special names. These were really just codes, so when Cappy phoned up and said Hi Jazzy, she would know that was Cappy and know to flick him out the door when he started to waffle. To OT she was Petronella; she knew the ruidiculous name would trigger extra care to shorten the meeting at a minute's notice because some of them hadn't seen a woman for months out in that gold mining country and were inclined to .......

[Captain]

.... ogle, as their stood on the top of a nearby hill in order to get some internet so that they could do an AI search of the name Petronella, in order to determine her ethnic background and to learn what she likes for ....

[turboplanner]

....afternoon tea.

There were 82 WAlians standing on hills that day all trying to get a signal, and all got Jacinta's message to bring two dozen scones.  The redeye to Melbourne was overweight on takeoff the next morning, and it stank of scones and under arm deodorant, but they were all .......

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....afternoon tea.

There were 82 WAlians standing on hills that day all trying to get a signal, and all got Jacinta's message to bring two dozen scones.  The redeye to Melbourne was overweight on takeoff the next morning, and it stank of scones and under arm deodorant, but they were all .......

.... in their PPT so everything must be OK and super safe.

 

"I love the smell of redeye underarms in the morning" said Jazzy courageously, as the pegs came out and everyone was issued a can of Mountain Mist dunny spray (it's like bear spray for West Aussies), after they have .....

[turboplanner]

red away like true Scots. Cappy was surprised to find how easy it was to haver and suspected that either Captain Cook had Scottish ancestors or a Scot had got into the Cottage.

This opened up a whole new question about the Great Navigator's past and ........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

red away like true Scots. Cappy was surprised to find how easy it was to haver and suspected that either Captain Cook had Scottish ancestors or a Scot had got into the Cottage.

This opened up a whole new question about the Great Navigator's past and ........

.... is why, in the true Scott's tradition, Cappy does all his flying without wearing undies.

 

He doesn't have a kilt, mind you, but he does wear tightish stubbies, to accompany his dark blue truckie's singlets, so occasionally a couple of things slip out of the stubbies and into the breeze, where ....

 

Cappy is also well known for walking 500 miles, and then 500 more.

Edited December 29, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

13 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... is why, in the true Scott's tradition, Cappy does all his flying without wearing undies.

 

He doesn't have a kilt, mind you, but he does wear tightish stubbies, to accompany his dark blue truckie's singlets, so occasionally a couple of things slip out of the stubbies and into the breeze, where ....

 

Cappy is also well known for walking 500 miles, and then 500 more.

..... they are likely to come in contact with the new Chinese GripU seat covers $24.00/pair less coupon and based on the structure of the Goondiwindi burr. The squeals ........

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... they are likely to come in contact with the new Chinese GripU seat covers $24.00/pair less coupon and based on the structure of the Goondiwindi burr. The squeals ........

...... drowned out the terrible backlash, clutch and gear-wear noise coming from the Rotax gearbox, but the squeals got worse when during an attempt to tuck them back in, Cappy .....

[turboplanner]

........inadvertently trapped one behind a control cable, so that when he moved the stick to stabilise the aircraft there was an excruciating pain which he could only avoid by pulling the stick back until the warning signs of a stall occurred, then he had to stabilise the aircraft. He went through these cycles for 15 minutes until the cable wore a hole ...........

[Captain]

.... in the offending projection.

 

This has been happening for a while since they were stretched when he was captured for a few days up the Khyber and was hung by them, upside do, in order to get him to spill the beans on where Turbo was located (Turbs was the HVT (high value target) that the enemy were really after, but Cappy bravely stayed schtumm until he cut himself down [he was sick of waiting for Turbo to rescue him] and escaped to stagger back behind his own lines.

 

Turbo has never heard this story before as they were and are mates, so Cappy didn't want to embarrass him, plus it wasn't long after this that Cappy shot Turbo right adjacent to his bullseye (accidentally of course), and ......

Edited December 29, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...while Turbo was moved to tears on hearing that Cappy had been left hanging by them for so long he also remembered the day the Khybers charge the trenches bolstered by Indian troops. He remembered how Cappy slid back down the trench and lined up behind Turbo, using him as a barricade. Turbo didn't mind that, but it was the shot from behind that irritated him. The attack petered out when Flying Eagle yelled across the trenches "Hey Turbo, is that you" and Turbo had replied "How are the feathers hanging?" and the Indians told the Khybers to get lost and jumped into the trench, partying all through the night. Next morning...........

[Captain]

.... a partly naked Pocahontas (who Cappy always knew, respectfully [even though she had them out], as Princess Algoquina) was still .....

Edited December 29, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......gyrating up and down (even though it was steep and rocky) the Khyber Pass oblivious to the bullets flying in all directions as the Khybers tried to hold themselves together while at the same time getting the Princess in the cross hairs but firing too soon.

 

The wounded Turbo, his right stibula hurting from another bullet wound tried to warn Poka but she cust him off at the pass (that's where the saying comes from), and before he could ...............

 

[Captain]

..... work out where his stibula was (or, having previously been shot close to his a.hole, could he this time have been shot in the ear.hole where, in vertebrates is a sensory system known as the Vestibula, that creates a sense of balance & spacial orientation for the purpose of coordinating movement with balance?).

 

While considering the above quandary he realised that as well as being a princess, Poka was also a baker and it should have read that she crust him off, as we all know that to have "cust" is the past tense of to "cuss", and as things were very tense at the time, Poca knew that .....

Edited December 30, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......she would have to work to earn that crust [thanks to Cappy for the spelling correction) and get him out of there before he started to smell.

Impressed with the recent delivery of a trophy to the Bathurst race track. She had bought herself an Extra.  These handy aircrtaft could land up the side of a steep hill like Conrod straight.

She thought the Khyber Pass would be a breeze, but a hundred thousand Khybers, nopne of whom could shoot straight, thought otherwise and ........

[Captain]

.... she had to fly a knife edge approach, then cock it ....

[turboplanner]

17 degrees left followed by ...........

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

17 degrees left followed by ...........

.... a Schimmelberger wing-over that always results in a need for a little correction, which can .....

Edited December 30, 2024 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....bend the vertical stab if overdone and to finish off, a Schafenstaker skid to .......