The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

......the huge Turbine Inc conglomerate being formed, with its primary source of endless income being selling the rights to make blueprints for rag and tube aircraft. Yes, dear NES readers, it's a little-known fact, that no matter what type of rag and tube aircraft you purchase, design or build - the giant global corporation, Turbine Inc, with its tentacles reaching into every corner of the globe - gets a kickback, artfully hidden in the build costs of your terrific rag and tube flying machine.

 

This unending source of income is what has propelled Turbo to reach the same level of obscene wealth as the mining robber barons of W.A. Disturbingly, in amongst the Turbine Inc future plans are schemes designed to ensure Turbine Inc gets a share of flying school fees, airstrip car parking charges, a hidden surcharge on ASIC cards, royalties on coffee purchases at airports, and even a.................

[turboplanner]

........cut on every white line marking on every airport.

Given the massive load of social media comments recently, Turbo has also been investigating the possibility of a royalty on every post, like singers get in return for a modest management fee or ......

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........cut on every white line marking on every airport.

Given the massive load of social media comments recently, Turbo has also been investigating the possibility of a royalty on every post, like singers get in return for a modest management fee or ......

.... in an even more shocking revelation based on Cappy's recent AI searches, Turbo is actually the T in RoTax and receives an automatically monitored and generated royalty every time a RoTax gearbox rattles ...... plus the "Wreck" in Wreck Flying was modelled on Turbo's body, so he already cops an, until now, secret kickback for every post & photo.

 

However Cappy is speechless, which is unusual and demonstrates the magnitude of his shock, that during the above mentioned AI search, Cappy asked AI for details on the origins of the term AI, and AI reported that the A in AI has been licenced worldwide by Turbo because (and there is some congecture between GROK and MS CoPilot on which of the following is correct) the A is either the 1st letter of Turbo's actual given name, or alternatively the A stands for "Arsehole", which also references Turdy (or perhaps both are correct, in which case he would receive 2 royalties for the price of one), so that is all another reason to ..... 

Edited January 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....make more and more posts. It doesn't matter what's in them; every little bit helps, because Turbo donates a substantial amount of money maintaining the airstrip in the Spratleys, the upkeep on what is now the "Lodge" a five story building; one floor for   Turbo, one for Chairman Xi, one for Cappy, one for the girls and one for Cappy's gin distillery.

BTW Cappy has taken to wearing slippers and smoking a pipe while at the Spratley's Lodge.

One sunny day, Cappy decided he'd Teach Chairman Xi to water ski behind the Lodge Thruster. It was failrly straightforward; the rider would float in the shallow water off the end of the runway. The tow rope would stream back to where the Drifter was moved up for take off. The Drifter would take off and Chairman Xi would be able to water ski in Shark Strait. On the first morning the bluehead wouldn't start .............

 

 

[Captain]

.... however after Tink got his can of Start Ya Bastard from Bunnings, he also recalled his banner towing days from when he was trying to get Henry Bolte elected, so he set Qi up in banner towing position, on his back with his feet spread wide in the air, and with the towrope between his feet.

 

Then Turbo zoomed down (avref) in his mk vii Thruster at 190% vne, with tow hook deployed, and judging his height above Qi's ample .....

[turboplanner]

.....midriff dropped the hook right on the belt. Xi was away like a Taiwanese who'd booked the wrong flight destination.

Just then the bluehead ran out of Start Ya Bastard, and Turbo's predicament, with the rope firmly under Xi's belt was very similar to a story an old boundary rider told Turbo at their campfire a few years ago out on the boundary of Old Mundowdna Station.

 

They'd talked for hours, exhausted all the usual stories and finally the old rider said "I was camped up the track one night and needed a crap. I the dark I squatted down on a dingo trap an it grabbed me nuts"

"That must have hurt" replied Turbo sympathetically.

"Yes, it was the two most painfull experiences of my life" the rider said.

Turbo was confused "How could it be two lots of pain?" asked Turbo

The old rider poked the coals and said Once when the trap went off, and again when I ran out of chain!"

 

Now as he looked over the side of the Thruster with nothing on the Tacho, a rope stretched out behind him, and Shark Strait below ...............

 

[Captain]

.... when he saw Qi look up and it was as if old Ping had heard and understood every word and nuance of the boundary rider's story, because he contorted his body, raised his head and clenched his teeth into a dingo trap position and shape, from whense he moved like a cat to clamp them around Turbo's n......

Edited January 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............ylon seat with the breathing hole in it through which, as Cappy correctly surmised.................

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............ylon seat with the breathing hole in it through which, as Cappy correctly surmised.................

.... , they dangled and moved like a metronome in opposite time to Turbo's PIOs.

 

So, soon Qi was swaying too in order to be able to bite at the peak amplitude of the left or right oscillation. (Qi also noticed, and later wrote a biology paper about it) that Tubb's left and right ones moved in slightly different time to the overall left to right oscillation of the complete package).

 

Qi's choppers were poised to .....

Edited January 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......grab when a shark saw the enormous body in the water (head out of the water of course), concluded it was a female shark and started to mate.

 

The Drifter, its silk wings groaning lifted out of the water, Turbo screamed, Xi's eyes bulged and the shark, a young one, thought WTF. 

 

Xi was in the most comfortable position as they climbed through 50 feet, and started to laugh. When he opened his mouth .............

[bull]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......grab when a shark saw the enormous body in the water (head out of the water of course), concluded it was a female shark and started to mate.

 

The Drifter, its silk wings groaning lifted out of the water, Turbo screamed, Xi's eyes bulged and the shark, a young one, thought WTF. 

 

Xi was in the most comfortable position as they climbed through 50 feet, and started to laugh. When he opened his mouth .............

...............a fish popped out and fell onto his enormous .......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.... a fish popped out and fell onto his enormous .......

..... , (and it really is that big) .....

[turboplanner]

........wing, which he had developed over a period of 17 years.

He started with the original Drifter wing which, as everyone knows...............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........wing, which he had developed over a period of 17 years.

He started with the original Drifter wing which, as everyone knows...............

.... the profile of which was originally developed by Orville Turbine (the other OT) for his first propeller (And that, dear NESers, was even before he had composed the word "propeller", which he had originally called a ....

 

[turboplanner]

.......AirOar.

Boaties used to wave their oars in the air laughing when they saw Orville T standing on the said waiting for that sea breeze to subside.

The breakthough came when Orville T was talking to a fellow student Mathisa Einsten who got interested, cracked the numbers and said, "If you got 150 oars in a row and moved them forward the thrust would be greater than....... but youg OneShaft broke in with "you could tie them onto the spokes of wagon wheels.

 

The others all chuckled but Orville spent a few nights over his parchments by the light of a bullock-fat candle re-did Einstein's calcs and  set up an axle with four oars, ran a fitted a flat pulley in the centre and ran a belt down to a Steam engine powered by distilled gin.

 

He built a dreaw bar behind the engine and hooked up an onld baby's pram from where he could reach the steam engine's knobs and levers.

 

He knew he had something when he started passing horses and carriages down the main street.

 

He knew there were a few "issues" to sort out when he ran off the bridge on the curve at the end of the street.

 

But there was no doubt that a new era of the AirOar had started and ........

[bull]

55 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......AirOar.

Boaties used to wave their oars in the air laughing when they saw Orville T standing on the said waiting for that sea breeze to subside.

The breakthough came when Orville T was talking to a fellow student Mathisa Einsten who got interested, cracked the numbers and said, "If you got 150 oars in a row and moved them forward the thrust would be greater than....... but youg OneShaft broke in with "you could tie them onto the spokes of wagon wheels.

 

The others all chuckled but Orville spent a few nights over his parchments by the light of a bullock-fat candle re-did Einstein's calcs and  set up an axle with four oars, ran a fitted a flat pulley in the centre and ran a belt down to a Steam engine powered by distilled gin.

 

He built a dreaw bar behind the engine and hooked up an onld baby's pram from where he could reach the steam engine's knobs and levers.

 

He knew he had something when he started passing horses and carriages down the main street.

 

He knew there were a few "issues" to sort out when he ran off the bridge on the curve at the end of the street.

 

But there was no doubt that a new era of the AirOar had started and ........

.so it begins,,,,,people now started to................

[onetrack]

.....want to buy the new travelling machines invented and displayed by Orville Turbine. However, there was a serious backlash amongst many people. "You wouldn't get me in one of those things for all the tea in China!!", said one whiskery-bearded old fella. "Those things are going to kill a lot of people!!", he added.

 

Orville was facing a new problem, one he'd never envisaged. One of his friends came out with an astonishing statement. "You have a marketing problem", he said to Orville. "You need to create a marketing department to increase demand for your products and to make them look so highly desirable, people will clamber over each other to acquire one!

In addition, you can have major 'SALES!', advertising huge discounts - right after you just ramped up the purchase price by 40%!"

 

"Well, that's just brilliant!", said Orville in excitement. "I don't have to worry about the problematic details in my new travelling machine designs - 'marketing' will cover up all the equipment failures, recalls, deaths caused by my design errors, and stop all the lawsuits in their tracks!"

 

And so, dear NES readers, this is why the Turbine global corporations today have such power and wealth - it's all due to Orvilles highly-developed "marketing" skills, and as a result, Turbo has become just another.......

 

Edited January 8 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.....victim; a poor traveller just trying to do the right thing by his customers who are the most .............

   

 

 

 

Hi, I'm Samanth. How may I help?

 

 

[Captain]

Crappy offers the following comments on Tubb's groundbreaking post 4 up from this:

 

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... when they saw Orville T standing on the said ......

Crappy always thought that the other (lesser) OT did their 1st flying at Kitty Hawk (which is similar to Eagle Hawk Neck in Tazzy except using a Cat with no neck), however a search of google maps for this location only gave one location and indicates that Turbo thinks they did their flying at Port Said ..... which is hard to accept.

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

But there was no doubt that a new era of the AirOar had started and .......

In the AUF and on Wreck Flying, instead of the reference to "AirOar", we have all become "Air Whores".

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....victim; a poor traveller just trying to do the right thing by his customers who are the most ......

 

...... disadvantaged in society, and who must be protected at all costs.

 

(Astute NESers will notice how Turbo must have licensed the guts of this speech to Keir Starmer yesterday, who put a unique UK spin on it, which proves that every poster on Wreck Flying must further right than Genghis Khan, or the right brothers, where ilber was very similar to bull and in some of his posts on the kitty hawk forum, he not only gave the caps the flick, but decided to get rid of all the w's henever referring to himself or his bro, and hen he needed to ......

Edited January 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

...... indicates that Turbo thinks they did their flying at Port Said ..... which is hard to accept.

Embarrassed that he may finally have made a mistake, Turbo went back to the original map and found it should have read "kitty sand" This map shows many new features Australians didn't know about, the author: skye bull, 2025.

[turboplanner]

.......ee.  Keir of course was a jogging mate of Turbo hen they went to school at entorth.

Turbo had often ondered ho "Special K" was getting on because he as certainly slo in the English classes.

 

Australia has become the political Latte set of British Prime Ministers with Boris teaching Latin and crapping on (not you Cappy) about hen he as going to in an election and become PM.

 

Not many people know that inston Churchill himself trained with the Australian Army at est Puckapunyal en it only had a fe bomb craters and ..........

 

 

 

[Captain]

.... inston was just a ar correspondent. 

 

e all hate ar because ar leaves omen ithout the areithal to .....

[turboplanner]

.......cook breakfast for a husband.

He was captured by the Boers, and they called him "Piggy iggy" so he escaped and got into the next country where he gave the Boers the finger and went back to England to pick on the Australians, but...............

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......cook breakfast for a husband.

He was captured by the Boers, and they called him "Piggy iggy" so he escaped and got into the next country where he gave the Boers the finger and went back to England to pick on the Australians, but...............

.... they declined to go over the top when there was a better way.

 

That was when the Aussie lads developed aerial bombardment using the forerunner of the Drifter, known as a Floater, powered by an early engine from an Austin 7, however nobody knew the science of Weight & Balance (which is proudly, defiantly and bravely continued in the AUF today) so the single 7 lb early bomb needed to be taped on, exactly 10.68734 inches behind the 2nd empennage bulkhead from the .....

Edited January 8 by Captain