The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......The Torres Strait Islands.

Not many people know that the Papua New Guinea government shows two flags in government buildings, one of them the PNG national flag with bird of paradise and the other a rich blue with tiny light green dots representing the thousands of Torres Strait Islands.

Each Island got a budget of one million dollars from the PNG people for bets and roads and picking up rubbish and stuff.

This might come as a surprise to the thousands of Shire Councils who show a completely different flag; the rear end of a bull with his nuts represented by a star.

And of course we pay $5 million per island just so they don't start dreaming up old massacres and their kids being stolen.

Turbo once spoke to a group on one of the islands when he was doing one of his around Australia outboard trips and old Merc seized near Mer Island "Dat Aussie Bull flag not our flag" he said, "we not Australian, they just showed it to us and asked what we like to make it and we said Bullsh!t. You funny people Australians, dumb too" and Italian suit shimmered in the cool island breeze.

 

Over on the Mainland (PNG) .......

[bull]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......The Torres Strait Islands.

Not many people know that the Papua New Guinea government shows two flags in government buildings, one of them the PNG national flag with bird of paradise and the other a rich blue with tiny light green dots representing the thousands of Torres Strait Islands.

Each Island got a budget of one million dollars from the PNG people for bets and roads and picking up rubbish and stuff.

This might come as a surprise to the thousands of Shire Councils who show a completely different flag; the rear end of a bull with his nuts represented by a star.

And of course we pay $5 million per island just so they don't start dreaming up old massacres and their kids being stolen.

Turbo once spoke to a group on one of the islands when he was doing one of his around Australia outboard trips and old Merc seized near Mer Island "Dat Aussie Bull flag not our flag" he said, "we not Australian, they just showed it to us and asked what we like to make it and we said Bullsh!t. You funny people Australians, dumb too" and Italian suit shimmered in the cool island breeze.

 

Over on the Mainland (PNG) .......

.as he was speaking from Daru Island on the southern coast sw of Moresby.............they can send as much as .....

[bull]

......they want by air from Daru,said ,Bigchief poilceman you fix me with 50000 Kina cash my friend you can import or export anything you wan my man................                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            [Bull agrees here as that is how he got his full unlimited Png drivers licence back in 2004 after having a beer with the said police man in the expats bar on Daru, when he was trawling for prawns between Daru and Port Moresby but the licence only cost me 150 kina{75 Aus] 🤣

Edited January 14 by bull

[Captain]

3 hours ago, bull said:

...... they want by air from Daru,said ,Bigchief poilceman you fix me with 50000 Kina cash my friend you can import or export anything you wan my man ......                                                             

...... and this dear NESers is a key issue for Turbine Marketing, as Cappy has taken on the task of securing the world-wide rights to market the PNG Rugby League team.

 

Therefore, given that bull has 1st hand knowledge from participation in the PNG corruption network and practices, my question to bull is how much of Albo's $600 million grant will actually be seen by the team and their management and how much will Turbine Marketing be able to skim out of that, as well.

 

"So bull, old friend" said Crappy "given that you were embedded in the graft of the country, albeit that things have deteriorated since 2004, do you reckon that the normal 10% of aid will actually make it to the ground for TM to take their usual 50% (so still a worthwhile $30 million to keep grog on the Boardroom table at TE), or will .......

Edited January 14 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......they want more.

bull's eyes glazed over. We know from his precise statement of "150 kina" that he had only been mixing with the Bemal St rascals, and he wondered how an upstanding skipper could get into this Rugby Team scam.

Cappy noticed the eyes and had no intention of losing good money to an over-eager crustacean squasher, so he.............

[Captain]

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......they want more.

bull's eyes glazed over. We know from his precise statement of "150 kina" that he had only been mixing with the Bemal St rascals, and he wondered how an upstanding skipper could get into this Rugby Team scam.

Cappy noticed the eyes and had no intention of losing good money to an over-eager crustacean squasher, so he.............

..... decided to revert to being the good cop to Turbo's usual really quite terrible, unwashed & smelly cop.

 

"bull, maaaaaaaate" crappy said "how about we go and have a couple of coffees and a cannolis, then talk our way through png politics and corruption practices, so that we can draw out the issues and .....

 

Note The Skipper's clever use of non-capitals as he kowtows to his crustacean squasher ((c) Turdboy) friend, bull.

Edited January 14 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......and see about putting you on as a junior member of the team.

"How much would I get?" asked bull.

"151 kina per fight" replied Cappy.

"But why would I be fighting?" asked bull.

"Whenever we start to do a deal, the Minister sends about 20 rascals after us to steal the money back" replied Turbo.

bull realised he was getting the raw end of the bird of paradise, and decided........

[bull]

7 hours ago, Captain said:

...... and this dear NESers is a key issue for Turbine Marketing, as Cappy has taken on the task of securing the world-wide rights to market the PNG Rugby League team.

 

Therefore, given that bull has 1st hand knowledge from participation in the PNG corruption network and practices, my question to bull is how much of Albo's $600 million grant will actually be seen by the team and their management and how much will Turbine Marketing be able to skim out of that, as well.

 

"So bull, old friend" said Crappy "given that you were embedded in the graft of the country, albeit that things have deteriorated since 2004, do you reckon that the normal 10% of aid will actually make it to the ground for TM to take their usual 50% (so still a worthwhile $30 million to keep grog on the Boardroom table at TE), or will .......

......the PNG government [really just a few mates from the highlands who conned the local lowlanders that they where really high landers,,,,,,it's complicated ok] would probably pay towards the team what visibly needs to be seen .  The rest will be seen on the gold coast and brisbane casinos as well as Cairns casino,,this i also had an inside view once when Turdine industries was involved with the Holmes a Court scandal we all remember the time that the CEO old Turdy himself had been..................

[onetrack]

........smeared with allegations of match-fixing involving the Wallabies. However, Turbo as always, deflected all the allegations and claims, and came out of the affair squeaky-clean (as always), claiming it was unfair to expect him to know about all the dubious associations and underworld friendships of many hundreds of employees way below his level of interaction, and he would certainly have never approved of the.........

[turboplanner]

.....underhanded scum action of match - fixing.....and he appeared to swoon with shock. The journos were all convinced and the story was about to drop when around the corner came Ra'C with a bulging Wallabies bag and ...........

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....underhanded scum action of match - fixing.....and he appeared to swoon with shock. The journos were all convinced and the story was about to drop when around the corner came Ra'C with a bulging Wallabies bag and ...........

...... accompanied by 5 or 6 teal (and various other shades of cian) coloured bimbos, who he used to distract from the fact that ......

Edited January 15 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......he was carrying the bag.

Without recognising the press, R a'C handed the bag to Turbo and said "Thenks auld chap, you did a great job fixing thet much."

You would think that after that, Turbo's career would have been finished, his empire crashed, whole populations sinking into recessions.

 

But the Press hadn't noticed the bag or the conversation, or for that matter R a'C who'd just sauntered off.

 

The teals did exactly what their job entailed, (a) Not being worried about the subject matter, or even understanding it, and (b) completely missing the point.

 

The Press had fallen for it and no one saw Turbo quietly step into the Hummer and drive away.

 

When Albo was told about it, he .............

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When Albo was told about it, he ........

..... summoned Zali to his office and said "I'm going to build a man made Winter Olympics standard ski slope at my seaside Avoca mansion, so when I leave the 1st jump ready to do a double backflip (policyrecantref) do I put my weight forward or on the back of my skis?"

 

Zali's response was surprising as she offered the following without exchanging texts with Adam Bandt or with little Robby HACkySack, and said "Dutto (PDref) reckons that you have been ahead of your skis for over 2 years, Anthony, my little buddy, so just lean back but don't ever go to the right (leftypoliticsref), & once you leave the ground (pseudoavref) just ...... 

Edited Thursday at 01:57 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........head for Mexico."

Albo wasn't sure if this was good advice or someone else taking advantage of him, so he did nothing and finished up in the ...........

Edited Thursday at 07:31 PM by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........head for Mexico."

Albo wasn't sure if this was good advice or someone else taking advantage of him, so he did nothing and finished up in the ...........

..... Avoca Zambrero restaurant, which is the closest he could get to Victoria without ordering his 4th Commonwealth aircraft (avref) of the day.

 

The staff at Zambreros welcomed Albo, who had given his country Aussie straw sucking Akubra the flick, and he wore a sombrero which made him look ....

 

He looked like this:

 

But wearing this typical Mextorian gear.

Edited Thursday at 09:24 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....like everyone in that sliver of no man’s land between Victoria and just north of Kapooka to indenting the inbred grovelling population.

Queenslanders called Victorians Mexicans but as we know they have difficulty  with maps and these isolated people resented it and for years blamed the government for being picked on. when they saw Albo taking the Mickey out of them In his sombrero they attacked him with their

 ingrown nails and......

[Captain]

..... they formed the Yarrawonga Cartel, which was structured in an identical manner to the Sinaloa Cartel, but is more vicious. 

 

The Yarrawonga Cartel make their dough by controlling the trade of Rutherglen wines across the border, the transport of counterfeit Tic Tacs to the northern states, and the people smuggling of decrepit, sad, penniless, poorly fed, smelly, desperate Mextorians across the border into the freedom and prosperity of NSW. (Cappy is pleased to report that this is usually a fairly safe trip and none are sexually molested because they smell "off" and look crook, like Mextorians, although most do take the opportunity to be baptised in the holy waters of the Murray and become free "Northerners".)

 

On the return trip the Cartel brings machetes, and they capture any delusional northern Labor voters who post anything about "Standing With Dan". Those people are usually surrendered by northern freedom loving Labor Branches, stripped, gagged, and bound with zip ties, to then be sold in the .....

Edited Friday at 12:47 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......sheep studs of the Riverina, where jackaroos educate them and relieve them of any wealth they might be carrying on their backs, their phones and their credit cards.

They are then carted out in the back of a ute to the back of beyond - somewhere like Balranald or Moulamein where the locals offer them a ride to Victoria for a grand payable up front. So they all finish up going on the fruit, where they find out what its like to work for Italians.........

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......sheep studs of the Riverina, where jackaroos educate them and relieve them of any wealth they might be carrying on their backs, their phones and their credit cards.

They are then carted out in the back of a ute to the back of beyond - somewhere like Balranald or Moulamein where the locals offer them a ride to Victoria for a grand payable up front. So they all finish up going on the fruit, where they find out what its like to work for Italians.........

... , or to work, generally.

 

"We prefer to accumulate debt, after all that is why we are coming to Dan-Land, to live off the 27 people who still work in Mextoria, 17 of which a so dumb as to pay their taxes, where Commonwealth Games can be cancelled on a whim, where we can work from home via a lockdown if we get a sore finger, and where ......

Edited Friday at 03:00 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

....Queenslanders and WAliens disappear to Tasmania where they are recycled, re-educated and re............

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....Queenslanders and WAliens disappear to Tasmania where they are recycled, re-educated and re............

.... activated as Dan clones.

 

"The big issue is smuggling them into Tasmania" explained the cartel's Public Relations Officer (they are yet to hire Turbine Marketing) "As these reprobates are classified by the Tassy government (sic) as being somewhat similar to Foxes & Syphilis, so they are banned on the Spirit of Tasmania (and also even banned on the new ferry that is stuck in England as it is too long to fit the SOT docks at either end)."

 

"We bring them in on surf skis via Strachan, take 3 days to get the sand out of the undies of the Waliens & the chips off the shoulders of the Queenslanders, then up the historic railway to Queenstown, where there is an underground WW2 Migrant Camp. This is where they are re-edumacated to .......

Edited Friday at 03:37 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....model Tasmanians and taught Tasmanian words like "Mainlander", or .......

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....model Tasmanians and taught Tasmanian words like "Mainlander", or .......

.... "The North Island" or "If she's not good enough for her brother she's not good enough for you" and other local .....

Edited Friday at 04:03 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........words we can't mention on this site.#1

 

It was during this training that most of the people were groomed, and joined the Tasmanian hordes.

 

Today thousands of them flock into UTAS in Hobart to get their degrees in Climate Science. 

 

Mant of them visit old Bob Brown haunts like ................

 

 

 

 

 

 

#1

Turbo got this line from his local newspaper yesterday. The innocent young female journalist who wrote the story about an Australian punk rock group, described how every second word was an unacceptable swear word, and inuended that some of them were REALLY bad.

There was a poll at the end of the story for readers to vent their degree of shock.        

Attached to the story was a link to the group singing the song, so the young lady was not quite so chaste, and Turbo, then a teenager, had to go for a walk to recover from the shock of hearing the worst coupling of foul language since,  he was captured by an older girl and 20 of her mates to be the floor show at a secluded beach party.

Edited Friday at 09:00 PM by turboplanner

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Mant of them visit old Bob Brown haunts like ..........

..... the location in the Hobart Botanical Gardens where the Greens 1st met and where their AGMs have been held ever since ..... see photo below (the commemorative plaque from the Tasmanian Historical Society is on the other side).

 

 

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Today thousands of them flock into UTAS in Hobart to get their degrees in Climate Science. 

As a result of the above initiative UTAS had turned out so many Climate Scientists that the BOM was overloaded ..... but, thankfully, was able to find them all gainful employment adjusting historic temperature records and preparing AI photos of Antarctica with all of the ice removed and penguins standing on rocks, with Polar Bears about to gobble them up.

 

Further photos showed that the Polar Bears had walked down (after calling in to visit Machu Pichu) and had arrived via the land bridge from Chile.

 

However, the BOM AI guru was a bit of a pisspot and used the images of the Bundy Bear (see 2 examples below) in all of the photos, from which they .......

 

 

The much-venerated Hobart building where the Greens first met.

 

 

The images used for the BOM's Climate Change Bears.

The big giveaway was that the Emu and the Roo looked a bit out of place in Antarctica.

 

 

 

Edited Saturday at 04:09 PM by Captain