The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.... a tired old hand fed Monkey Mia dolphin that was .....

Edited yesterday at 04:47 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

fed on the chololate smarties that sent parents insane trying to break up fights between the kids, and fish guts from the professional fishermen who frequented Monkey Mia after dark and seemed to have some very big Snapper.

This got to the ears of WAFISH Inspector Doughtfire. 

The first night he was on the jetty huddled under a blanket with a beanie on and fishing rod in his hand he was pushed off the jetty, probably because the only ute for a mile had WAFIS "Measure your catch" on it.

The second night he covered himself with sand on the beach and breathed through a straw. After a while he decided he needed to go, and cautiously lifted his head to see he was surrounded by ..........

 

[onetrack]

........78 turtles, all starting to dig a hole to lay their eggs. Then it got worse, when the green turtle nest-watching groups arrived. Doughtfire knew it was time to make tracks, and big ones at that.

He burst out of his sand hide with a spray of sand, which terrified most of the turtle nest watchers. Most took to their heels, but some hung back to see what monster it was, that had burst up out of the sand. When one of them recognised Doughtfire, he yelled out, "Hey, it's that f^$&#** WAFISH Inspector again!! Let's..............

[turboplanner]

.....Turtle him.

Turtling was a WA thing until the government outlawed it, and we can't say in public what it actually was or describe it, but ........

[onetrack]

.....if you can picture the Turtle Man from Kentucky, and the way he grabbed snapping turtles, and held them up in the air victoriously, you can get some idea of what was about to happen to Doughtfire.

But Doughtfire was made of sterner stuff than the average fishing inspector. He also had longer legs than the average fishing inspector, and this gave him a major advantage over his pursuers, who by now, were just............

 

(for the NES readers who came in late, here is Turtle Man.......)

 

[turboplanner]

.......drawing straws to see who woul be going into the waters but....

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......drawing straws to see who woul be going into the waters but....

.... drawing straws is a pain when you have sand in your crayons, and there are turtle eggs to be collected and whisked off to be sold in Asia.

 

Harvesting turtle eggs is restricted to native groups, same like bashing koalas and dugongs on the head with a shifter, but Turbine Exclusive Native Title and Flagon Corporation had been set up to .....

Edited 20 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

......assist and educate the local extinct tribespeople on how to become rich beyond their dreams.

As TENT and Flagon's PR consultant Cappy Cook IX put it at the release: "Kill one mother turtle with 300 eggs inside, a good meal for the tribe; catch 10 mothers and let then lay their eggs in our aquaculture tanks - you be like Sultans.

Soon the tribes were driving round and round the Community in Lamborghinis.........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Soon the tribes were driving round and round the Community in Lamborghinis.....

..... and covered in dugong & turtle tattoos, done with white ink.

 

The dugongs were .....

Edited 14 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........not happy with these unflattering tattoos, blown up even more when viewed up through the water, and although they couldn't speak or understand written language, they knew what fat was; most of them dieting on sea cabbage for most of their lives trying to get down to mermaid size. 

They could see the turtles given batter feed and treatment so they herded and waited.............

[bull]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

fed on the chololate smarties that sent parents insane trying to break up fights between the kids, and fish guts from the professional fishermen who frequented Monkey Mia after dark and seemed to have some very big Snapper.

This got to the ears of WAFISH Inspector Doughtfire. 

The first night he was on the jetty huddled under a blanket with a beanie on and fishing rod in his hand he was pushed off the jetty, probably because the only ute for a mile had WAFIS "Measure your catch" on it.

The second night he covered himself with sand on the beach and breathed through a straw. After a while he decided he needed to go, and cautiously lifted his head to see he was surrounded by ..........

 

Can any NES readers tell me the chapter that Mrs Doutfire the sexiest copper in the west had transitioned ????

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........not happy with these unflattering tattoos, blown up even more when viewed up through the water, and although they couldn't speak or understand written language, they knew what fat was; most of them dieting on sea cabbage for most of their lives trying to get down to mermaid size. 

They could see the turtles given batter feed and treatment so they herded and waited.............

..... in order to smash the thousands of turtle eggs that were about to be exported.

 

The dugong leader issued green headbands, Ping pledged personal support and funding, the leader demanded that all turtle hostages be terminated, and yelled the secret code to commence the attack, so the numerous dugong storm troopers ......

Edited 11 hours ago by Captain

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, bull said:

Can any NES readers tell me the chapter that Mrs Doutfire the sexiest copper in the west had transitioned ????

dear bull. please pay attention in future. Somewhere around page 673, doubtfire used numerous pronouns reflecting several genders and signified a preference for standing while ......

[turboplanner]

4 minutes ago, Captain said:

dear bull. please pay attention in future. Somewhere around page 673, doubtfire used numerous pronouns reflecting several genders and signified a preference for standing while ......

And also Constable Doubtfire had numerous liaisons which produced many officious offspring, and then there were her 8 bros who produced many young Officers and then there were her 7 uncles and 6 aunts and they were spread all over Australia. Next time you get on a flight to the Gold Coast you could be sitting next to one.

[bull]

10 hours ago, Captain said:

dear bull. please pay attention in future. Somewhere around page 673, doubtfire used numerous pronouns reflecting several genders and signified a preference for standing while ......

❔

[bull]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

And also Constable Doubtfire had numerous liaisons which produced many officious offspring, and then there were her 8 bros who produced many young Officers and then there were her 7 uncles and 6 aunts and they were spread all over Australia. Next time you get on a flight to the Gold Coast you could be sitting next to one.

.Your talking to Bull,,,,I could be their father too from the early days at the Bowen Lockup! my we have fun in those days....sorry lost track ,,so yeah maybe who knows??  But now getting to the icky bit ,,so when she/he transitioned did they swap her hole for a pole? Just asking for a confused friend,😎

 

Edited 32 minutes ago by bull