The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

".........the currants in these buns over here."

All talk in the room ceased, and you could have .............

.... swallowed one of those blowies when many in the room stood and sang the Anthem of the World Economic Forum, including Verse 9 which includes a pledge to eat ze bugs and ze flys.

 

The new publican was, indeed, running an undercover WEF Pub ................. so bugger all acknowledgement of Aussie Day.

 

It was at that very moment that Klaus Slob walked into the room as the trumpets played his favourite ditty and a hush came over the joint, until a little boy said "Geez that looks like Turbo, as I saw on a gay website that he had one of those suits made a while ago".

 

As if that news wasn't enough, when the below photo was forensically examined by the OT Security Company (the premier private forensics laboratory in OZ) it exposed the background that is evident in the 2nd & 3rd photos below, and the ......

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 6 by Captain

[Captain]

Explanation - Cappy has always been Turbo's best mate, (not that he has too many others outside of the NES, as Turbo burns a lot of relationship bridges once he has finished using people) so when this photo was taken, Cappy is looking out for Turbo, as usual, and is dressed as the tall good-looking Storm Trooper (note the larger codpiece) behind Turdy's right shoulder.

 

Edited February 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........story when it made headlines around the world made Trump look like the Weeties Boy.

 

Klaus had been loved by all when he was the European Loans and Corporate Assistance go to in Gland, Switzerland and Turbo often had lunch with him while he was in Gland trying to persuade Ramsar to declare his cat farms Ramsar sites.

 

"At first he seemed a nice sort of person" said Turbo, "but I noticed that I always had to pay for lunch, and when my change came back he always took it."

 

"I was warned by the Ramsar Convention Secretary, Steve O'Track, who was an Australian that he was cleaning out the rich and famous on a scale of Trillions of dollars."Adolph 

 

"As we know, he was born Klaus Schicklegruber in Austria, the nephew of Adolf Schicklegruber who went on to wreck half the world."

 

bull had been listening intently, because he had been following Klauss's instructions to live your life eating beetles and sending 110% of your income to WEF, and bull ......

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

Explanation: Cappy's eyesight isn't what it used to be; we caught him humping a hollow log recently. Turbo is the one left shoulder, and he had to lead Cappy into position after he was found standing in a daisy pot.

[Captain]

40 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

bull had been listening intently, because he had been following Klauss's instructions to live your life eating beetles and sending 110% of your income to WEF, and bull ......

..... liked the idea of being a Commissar, carrying a whip and having a red hot poker with which to .....

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Explanation: Cappy's eyesight isn't what it used to be; we caught him humping a hollow log recently. Turbo is the one left shoulder, and he had to lead Cappy into position after he was found standing in a daisy pot.

Further Response to Explanation: There is a lot to be said for hollow logs during a drought, ...... and the "daisy pot thing" is quite new & experimental.

 

Cappy should not be pre-judged just on these.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo is the one left shoulder,

Our beloved Turbo is obviously in denial, or he has forgotten to take his tablets again (It was one of Cappy's jobs while up the Khyber, to keep Turbo's tablets flowing in the correct order. ..... Before Webster packs were invented, they were known throughout the Empire as Cappy Packs and that name was registered until Clarry Webster stole the concept).

 

In this post he has deflected from the fact that he is the centerpiece in this photo and is doing an impersonation of Jabba the Hutt standing at a lectern.

Edited February 6 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....goad CASA inspectors (and Fisheries Inspectors) any time they wanted to take a peek at bull's equipment. Now, when we say "equipment"; people with low-level thoughts (such as Cappy) would be drooling at the thought of acquiring a photo of a CASA inspector, inspecting bulls "equipment" - but the truth is, when the word "equipment" is used in this context, it doesn't refer to any of bulls wedding tackle, it refers to items he's using during flying or fishing, which have a level of safety requirements attached to them. As bull is known to regularly ignore a lot of safety regulations and other...........

[turboplanner]

 regulations such as not putting your finger into the prop arc to see if it hurt or not impersonationg a CASA FOI just because your don't want any visitors, and on Sundays ......

[bull]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 regulations such as not putting your finger into the prop arc to see if it hurt or not impersonationg a CASA FOI just because your don't want any visitors, and on Sundays ......

.............never upset him before 10am as this has caused many a broken........

[turboplanner]

coxic when the person lands after flying through the air.

Sunday was the day when bull......

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

coxic when the person lands after flying through the air.

Sunday was the day when bull ......

..... always worshipped his selected "higher being" ..... and then spent the arvo coating any broken sacrum and/or coccyx with plaster of paris, before bandaging it/them using his special knot that stopped the bandage from slipping off by also wrapping the bandage around the breakee's .......

 

THE DIAGRAM THAT bULL ALWAYS USES TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE BROKE, TO HIS VICTIMS.

Edited February 7 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....leg, or hind leg as the case may be. Turbo was interested in the above diagrammes because on his days of in the Khyber incident as the British Newspapers were allowed to call it, he studied medicine under Mahatma La, and this diagramme was the final exam for the Bachelor of Medicine degree. Some of the bones like the coccyc had different names then, but the British decided to eliminate Indian students from becoming doctors, so they chaged the syllabis to Latin.

It didn't work of course; the Indian students printed their own degrees and these days dominate England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland giving out .........

 

[Captain]

.... free papadoms as incentives for new customers to .....

[turboplanner]

........fleece the National Health Service with any ailment that meets the category for a Doctor's claim, which is then used to finance Jaguar the Indian Automotive company which competes with Tata.

 

It was Jaguar or course which recently bought out the rights to Drifter and Thruster which will shortly be supplied out of India as Jaguars.

 

Hopefully their fuel pumps won't keep failing and ..........

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 7 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.....the Jaguar badges won't be regularly pilfered by the multitude of Indian poverty-stricken Indian orphans, who have been known to even nick engines from running Drifters and Thrusters - thus leading to great mystification amongst Drifter and Thruster pilots, as to why zero thrust was available, despite full throttle being applied.

 

One of these notorious orphans, a quick-witted youngster named Paramjit Turbonakshi, was the primary suspect involved in a large blackmarket of near-new Drifter and Thruster engines regularly available cheaply, in many States on the Sub-Continent. The Indian Police were regularly outsmarted by Paramjit Turbonakshi, as it appeared he always had prior knowledge of policing actions that were planned.

 

Finally, a trap was devised, whereby a police stooge by the name of Onkar Cappiranjit - who had formerly been a good friend of Paramjit Turbonakshi, before they had a falling-out over an entire shipload of blackmarket gin, that disappeared whilst supposedly under Onkar Cappiranjit's supervision - was to act as a............

[Captain]

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

..... was to act as a .....

.... recruiter for that master indian criminal, Wankar bullcrapshimselfshit.

 

bull, as he is known to his mates, specialises in taking kickbacks from both sides, while at the same time being a huge Bollywood (or bollywood as bullchs pronounces it) film & video star, as well as having a leading role in the Indian porn industry, where he uses the stage name of .....

Edited February 8 by Captain

[bull]

16 hours ago, Captain said:

.... recruiter for that master indian criminal, Wankar bullcrapshimselfshit.

 

bull, as he is known to his mates, specialises in taking kickbacks from both sides, while at the same time being a huge Bollywood (or bollywood as bullchs pronounces it) film & video star, as well as having a leading role in the Indian porn industry, where he uses the stage name of .....

...biggusdicus a throw back to the monty python days..lol . Now this caused a copyright claim from.............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, bull said:

...biggusdicus a throw back to the monty python days..lol . Now this caused a copyright claim from.............

..... Pontius Pilatus Pilot (avref) via Turbine, Turbine & Turbine Legal Practice LLC, based on a breach of Penal Code XMXMMMXIIIV (MCXXMMC) of the .....

Edited February 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Magna Carta Aviation Chapter.

Surprisingly they were representing that scion from Peppermint Grove, and entertainer at the Freshwater Latte Joint, OT, where there was a tasteless photo up on the wall which in some ways was similar to the Big Fish people stuffed and put on restaurant walls. The Freshwater was a daily breakfast must for Alan Bond and it was said he would be staring at this ............

[onetrack]

.....tasteless photo and expressing his dislike for it. One day, he asked who took the photo. When OT explained it was taken by a friend of his who lived in Moorabbistan, and who was an occasional pilot and speedway fiend, and known to be involved in selling some dodgy brands of trucks, Alan burst out with, "Well, take the XXXXXX thing down, then! That wall needs something tasteful hung on it, I'll send around a photo of Australia II, and it can replace that tasteless thing!! And let me know where I can find this Turbo bloke, there has to be something in it for me, if he's...........

[turboplanner]

........interested I need to sell a brewing company so I can buy an airship [avref] to

dangle ...............

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........interested I need to sell a brewing company so I can buy an airship [avref] to

dangle ...............

..... a Swan Brewery dongle .....

[turboplanner]

....and below that a Bell, and below that Bond University.

It was the latter rather than the former that caused Turbo to regretfully decline the offer of half the profits of the following year.

As we know, Bond University teaches.............

[onetrack]

......that any London bus driver can become a billionaire if they're ruthless enough. In fact, they offer a degree in corporate shafting training, and ASIC questioning evasion skills, that is highly sought after in countries such as those run by dictators and ruthless despots.

 

One day, the receptionist at BU fielded a call from Kim Jong-il. "How do I get one of these degrees that enables me to compete on a level playing field in the Western corporate world"?, he asked.

 

"I've been to the best Swiss schools, but none of them gave me the skills and training needed to deal with ruthless corporate deal-makers, such as Donald Trump! I need to up my skills level, so when he announces he's going to turn North Korea into the Riviera of the East, I can be ready to........