The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

They were allowd to be registered as DG Trucks (Dangerous Goods) trucks the same as Fuel Tankers and had to carry the same placarding, including the owners name.

One nororious GBT pulled over by the W Highway Patrol had a placard stolen from the Kalgoorlie strip  reading "For a Good Time, phone Rosie on 0342 223 123."

..... , and it is little known that Rosie is OT's nom-de-plume when contributing to the forums (fora?) on the AOPA, AAPA, OZALPA and the SAAA websites, such is OT's desire to inform all other pilots of the benefits of living in W. (Turbo, on the other hand also contributes jewels of knowledge to those Fora, but he does it just to p**% them all off, same like he does here).

 

While DG Trucks does indeed designate "Dangerous Goods", it is also little known that the CT has a sideline building them in a production line in the DG Men's Shed, as a sideline to his Advanced Welding Course (This has been invaluable in providing practical lessons on the issues around the failure of high tensile steel after welding [and after all what are a few fatalities on the expressway out of DG, when they are only Mextorians] when welders need to be taught), where he ........ 

Edited April 1 by Captain

[bull]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

..... , and it is little known that Rosie is OT's nom-de-plume when contributing to the forums (fora?) on the AOPA, AAPA, OZALPA and the SAAA websites, such is OT's desire to inform all other pilots of the benefits of living in W. (Turbo, on the other hand also contributes jewels of knowledge to those Fora, but he does it just to p**% them all off, same like he does here).

 

While DG Trucks does indeed designate "Dangerous Goods", it is also little known that the CT has a sideline building them in a production line in the DG Men's Shed, as a sideline to his Advanced Welding Course (This has been invaluable in providing practical lessons on the issues around the failure of high tensile steel after welding [and after all what are a few fatalities on the expressway out of DG, when they are only Mextorians] when welders need to be taught), where he ........ 

.indoctrinated all the new ...................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, bull said:

..... indoctrinated all the new .....

.... welders with the ethos "They are only Truckies + they are only Mextorians, so you have to expect to break a few eggs if you want to make some omelettes".

 

This also worked well as the lead-in mantra for his other moneymaker, the CT Cooking School, which is held in the 3-acre outdoor play area at the Men's Shed (The shed employed a switched-on accountant & had cashed in on Julia's free school shed program, after the Men's Shed had been renamed the "DG Madrassa of Peace, Understanding & Bombmaking" for 3 months until the $5 million shed grant came through).

 

The trainee truck welders and cooks had a lot in common and always had lunch together out under the Julia Gillard Memorial Shelter Shed, when they often discussed the ....... 

Edited April 2 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....plan to build a Thruster that actually looked like an aircraft rather than an open-air long drop dunny.

 

They learned how to weld, and the group visits to Bunnings gave them knowledge of the difference between a bolt and a screw. Some picked this up quickly but it was obvious that others had their minds on different things.

 

The first thing they bought was ........................

 

 

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....plan to build a Thruster that actually looked like an aircraft rather than an open-air long drop dunny.

 

They learned how to weld, and the group visits to Bunnings gave them knowledge of the difference between a bolt and a screw. Some picked this up quickly but it was obvious that others had their minds on different things.

 

The first thing they bought was .........

..... a seat that did not have a hole in it, followed by a bent piece of metal that could conceivably hold a dunny roll, but was actually for ..........

Edited April 2 by Captain

[onetrack]

.........use as the control column. One bloke found a big Chinese lawnmower on special, whereby the engine would make a superb power plant for the Bunnthruster, another bloke found some big umbrellas in the Home and Garden section, which would yield some excellent material for wing and fuselage covering (and it was UV-proof, too! - Bonus!)....but the real finds came in the Plumbing dept, where........

[Captain]

11 hours ago, onetrack said:

.........use as the control column. One bloke found a big Chinese lawnmower on special, whereby the engine would make a superb power plant for the Bunnthruster, another bloke found some big umbrellas in the Home and Garden section, which would yield some excellent material for wing and fuselage covering (and it was UV-proof, too! - Bonus!)....but the real finds came in the Plumbing dept, where........

..... there was some past the use-by-date PVC tubing which had been out in the yard in the sun since 1985, but which was cheap and on special.

 

While talking with a Buntings technical specialist in the tubing department, Team Member Doubtfire (who was working her 2nd or 3rd job) thought deeply about his question and then advised "PVC tube is much stronger than the equivalent size in alumaminamumiam, or even 304 stainless, and PVC is totally unaffected by UV light, so I'd say you are on a winner, flyboy".

 

Because Doubtfire had a good set, and agreed to have a coffee with him at the Buntings Coffee Shop, he accepted all that she said, bought the job lot, and he ........

Edited April 3 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...unloaded in the men's shed and there was great discussion, and there were speeches from each one on how their modification to the simple Thruster was so much better, how to cut tubing (88 contributions) where to put the fuel tank (132 contributions) whether the Bunnings wheelbarrow tyres were better than the crap tyres from Airways Pine (284 contributions over 3 years) and the first one was ready for its test flight in a mere 60 months (the last five would never be finished despite their builders offering the most prolific contributions drawn from all over the world). Such was the level of innovation and skill in the AUF and the first two, interesting looking machines, lined up for their test flights............................................

[Captain]

On 03/04/2025 at 11:03 AM, turboplanner said:

...unloaded in the men's shed and there was great discussion, and there were speeches from each one on how their modification to the simple Thruster was so much better, how to cut tubing (88 contributions) where to put the fuel tank (132 contributions) whether the Bunnings wheelbarrow tyres were better than the crap tyres from Airways Pine (284 contributions over 3 years) and the first one was ready for its test flight in a mere 60 months (the last five would never be finished despite their builders offering the most prolific contributions drawn from all over the world). Such was the level of innovation and skill in the AUF and the first two, interesting looking machines, lined up for their test flights......

....., but on the 1st one, the bit that looked like a dunny role holder, fell off on the taxiway and punctured the port side tyre on the 2nd one, which, due to RS weight and balance calculations, then nosed over to experience a propeller strike and a resultant bent prop shaft & a buggered crank.

 

The owner of the 2nd "aircraft" was pretty crank-ey too, and he .......

[turboplanner]

....exposed the fact that the 1st one had not bothered to wait for a DRH mount from the supplier in Guinea Bisseau.

 

The 1st one responded that since the 2nd one had made a calculation mistaking the weights for the balance hence the 12 foot tail, a mistake his 12 year old son pointed out before they attempted to take off, he was to blame for his own mistakes. The 2nd one refused to accept this, got in the car, a Hillman Hunter, and called into the AUF Office in Canberra where an official came out and ...........................................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The 1st one responded that since the 2nd one had made a calculation mistaking the weights for the balance hence the 12 foot tail, a mistake his 12 year old son pointed out before they attempted to take off, he was to blame for his own mistakes. The 2nd one refused to accept this, got in the car, a Hillman Hunter, and called into the AUF Office in Canberra where an official came out and 

.....

..... asked him to move the Hillman, as the AUF had a reputation to protect.

 

"But this is the very car that Paddy & Turbo drove in the London to Sydney" he replied.

 

"And it looks it too" replied the AUF official who drives an AUF supplied 911, and didn't want it devalued by a .....

[onetrack]

.....being seen parked next to a Hillman. While this arguing was going on, a maintenance team from the AUF was measuring the Hillman engine and preparing to extract it during a "midnight spares" run, as a suitable replacement for the Chinese lawnmower engines, which seemed to be dogged by poor assembly problems, factory contamination problems and non-existent spares.

 

"At the very least, we know we can acquire Hillman engine parts anywhere!", said one maintenance team member, "There's one lying in every second backyard in rural areas, and some are even being used to drive wood-cutting saws, and I've even seen one on a..............

[CT9000]

......cattle holding yard being used as a sex machine for the waiting cows whilst the bull is busy, but the thing was a failure because the vibrations were too strong so.......

[turboplanner]

........it's now up in the orchard doing a good job as a bird scarer.

The Hillmans disappeared off Australian highways and freeways after the cops were allowed to book drivers using the road at under 60 km/hr.

The Hillmans had other problems coverting to aircraft. It wasn't the 51% rule because the owners only had to show the stack of invoices for parts, but ........

 

 

[CT9000]

.....that was only for those using the normal Hillman engine, if you tried to use an engine from a Hillman Imp you were granted a medal for bravery then told to.......  

 

[onetrack]

........send an unsuspecting test pilot on the initial flight of the BunnThruster, because no-one in their right mind would.........

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

........send an unsuspecting test pilot on the initial flight of the BunnThruster, because no-one in their right mind would.........

..... ever put one in the rear of a BummThruster.

 

"I would" said Harry, who was able to get the Imp engine sounding like a mid-engined V8, and whom Cappy had watched in admiration while sitting on or under his struggle-rug, with various young ladies at Oran Park, when .....

 

The Lefoe Imp, going like a cut cat at OP

 

Edited April 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........noting that the wing on that Imp was the one from the modified Thruster built by JohnnyD, the one that..................

[Captain]

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........noting that the wing on that Imp was the one from the modified Thruster built by JohnnyD, the one that..................

..... Jack Brabham also took part of, and that won him the .....

[onetrack]

.......nickname of "Black Jack", words that when spoken in awe, would subdue any opponent. Black Jack got his nickname from his habit of regularly appearing out of the gloom in low light situations, and by saying nothing when he suddenly appeared. It was enough to unnerve any ordinary person - but Jack could unnerve, hardened, tough, and fearless racers, just with his silent appearance from out of the darkness.

 

Few people know that Jack was also an exceptional LAME, with tickling Beaufighter engines his favourite pastime. In fact, once the RAAF wartime pilots learnt about Jacks skills, they all wanted him to tickle their Beaufighter engines, too.

 

Jack took his "tickling" skills to the BunnThruster with alacrity, and before long, the Imp engines were starting to sound like Bristol Hercules XVIII engines, and when Jack also suggested fitting armaments such as the Beaufighters 20mm cannons to the BunnThruster, to give it some credibility, there were cries of.........

 

Edited April 6 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........."no! no!" from the cockies in NSW but the W's quietly looked at each other and smiled. Before long there wouldn't be too many ..........................

[Captain]

On 05/04/2025 at 7:26 PM, onetrack said:

..... alacrity .....

Congratulations to Onesie for the use of such a word in the NES and his single-handed effort to raise the tone ....... It is great to see that such terms have eventually made their way over to W, even against the prevailing winds.

[Captain]

On 05/04/2025 at 10:32 PM, turboplanner said:

........."no! no!" from the cockies in NSW but the W's quietly looked at each other and smiled. Before long there wouldn't be too many ..........................

.... bunnies west of the fence, and BumThruster kits all but sold out (even after the factory in Southern Cross doubled production, and the Lithgow Large Arms 20 mm cannon factory reopened), based on the fun to be had strafing rabbit warrens with 20 mil cannon fire.

 

The W Cockies welcomed it because they all loath wascally wabbits, until they wealised that ......

Edited Monday at 01:41 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Rabbit was the staple diet of W and they were shooting their food supply. We all know what's happening to New Zealand as the Cattle producers get rid of their stock in the noble quest of NZ achieving Nett Zero. They now have Nett ............

[Captain]

58 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Rabbit was the staple diet of W and they were shooting their food supply. We all know what's happening to New Zealand as the Cattle producers get rid of their stock in the noble quest of NZ achieving Nett Zero. They now have Nett ............

.... ing from Choppers (avref) which often get caught in the trees, so most often Zero Nets.

 

"Thut's close enough" said Dame Jacinda as she flew (avref) off to Davos, where the cocaine & hookers reminded everyone of that special commemorative Fly-In (avref) in W, when .......

Edited Monday at 05:15 PM by Captain