The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......16 of the flyins didn't read tgeir ERSAs and got tangled up in the netting balls that roll across the W sands endlessly, never catching a single rabbit and 16 lost undercarriages and props after landing in burrows (the burros of BigRabbits), 7 got lost in South Australia and one called the Broken Hill Tower with "Gday Mate, do I land to the left or the right, to which the Tower replied ........"..... 

 

 

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......16 of the flyins didn't read tgeir ERSAs and got tangled up in the netting balls that roll across the W sands endlessly, never catching a single rabbit and 16 lost undercarriages and props after landing in burrows (the burros of BigRabbits), 7 got lost in South Australia and one called the Broken Hill Tower with "Gday Mate, do I land to the left or the right, to which the Tower replied ........"..... 

 

 

"G'day to you too mate. We don't stand on ceremony here, mate, so it's up to you and the only request that we make is that you miss the 2 crop dusters and those couple of RPTs that are dicking around in the circuit".

 

"No wuckers" he replied and cranked up full throttle to .....

[turboplanner]

......perform his signature "Double Hammerhead from Circuit Height" This person was known as "Chopper" because he had no teeth. He rarely landed at the airfield at which he performed his DHCH, usually picked a perfect paddock behind a hill and used a different registration every flight. The CASA FoIs had been after him for years and when Albo was Minister for Air..................... 

[Captain]

On 08/04/2025 at 11:57 AM, turboplanner said:

......perform his signature "Double Hammerhead from Circuit Height" This person was known as "Chopper" because he had no teeth. He rarely landed at the airfield at which he performed his DHCH, usually picked a perfect paddock behind a hill and used a different registration every flight. The CASA FoIs had been after him for years and when Albo was Minister for Air..................... 

..... Thingys, he ran that Department as well as he has run the Country since.

 

In other words, the Department of Air Thingys (the DOAT) was f#@&$d, and ......

Edited Thursday at 02:36 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........known for its many parties. You'd be wanting to know whether they were going to locate the new Sydney Airport over the top of your Drifter Field airstrip, and someone would pick up the phone and you'd hear Har, Har HAR!!!!!! and the clinking of glasses as they listened to the end of a schoolyard joke.

 

Then you'd get a helpful "Even WE don't know!!!!!!........you'd be better talking to Albo!"

 

And now here we are years later, with our Albo, even more famous than Macron who has just set the Tariff standard for the world in one night, except for the spiteful slash at Chairman Xi with the 125% whack in the guts.

 

Both Cappy and Turbo raced over to placate Chairman Xi, Cappy even bowing before him (which would never have happened in the goldrush), and Turbo stayed behind to console Xi and sign off a contract for the supply of toothpaste to every person in China in a Genuine cat skin capsule for 1 cent each, the price varying by the CPI, tariff-free, hence this late post. He left Xi showing praise on his old friend Turbo and promising........ 

 

 

 

[onetrack]

......to supply many thousands of electric Dlifters (that's a Chinese Drifter) to Australia at a very good price, provided Australia didn't impose a tariff on Chinese aircraft.

 

"I can't guarantee anything, Xi, ol' mate", siad Turbo - "but as there's an Australian election coming up, we could install a Manchurian candidate, and even beat Clive Palmer at his electioneering efforts, provided you supply enough funding to back a major election campaign.

If we put up a part-Chinese candidate with an Australian father, no-one will notice he's a CCP stooge, and we'll be virtually guaranteed to win the.........

[turboplanner]

election. Over the last day or so China Airlines has been disgorging thousands of "typical Australians" ready, in any city, and particularly out in our country areas, to wave flags and make speeches in every electorate (88%) where there  was now a Jack Chee standing for election.

The problem started when they began launching their campaigns, and saying .......

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The problem started when they began launching their campaigns, and saying .......

..... flee money. We give flee money, just rike Arblo."

 

"Bugger that" said Bluey who had just come out of the pub for a slash and to see what the noise was all about. "We've got enough leaches and mozzies, so you can stick your cash for fleas."

 

"No, you dipstick (he actually said "dipshit" but Cappy always cleans up his posts in case his mum reads it). We mean lots'a yuan for flee, and a .......

Edited Friday at 05:21 PM by Captain

[onetrack]

........flee Chinee glift for every Osstralian voter who attends voting booth (oh, and voting booths are made in China, too! How good is that?)" But Bluey was still suspicious. "I dunno, theres something about these offers that just doesn't look ridgy-didge to me", he opined, whilst chewing on piece of barley straw.

 

"For a start, why is the local Chinese restaurant the polling station, and what's with the big red.............

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, onetrack said:

..... "For a start, why is the local Chinese restaurant the polling station, and what's with the big red.............

..... flag and the rather poncy looking 6 ft high sparkly good ruck Chinese cat, with the rather gay waving paw, and the appetite for 50 AA batteries every 24 hours. This all just has to be a .......

 

 

Edited Friday at 11:19 PM by Captain

[onetrack]

.....sly advert for the Turbine Cat Farms operations!! And what's in those Chinese dumplings that are simply labelled "meat dumplings"? Suddenly Turbo appeared and grabbed Blueys elbow, and propelled him (avref) to a quiet spot in a lane adjoining the restaurant. "Listen", Turbo hissed between clenched teeth, "I don't want you making a song  and dance about things like Chinese cats and..........

[turboplanner]

..........what's wrong with promoting the "Waving Cat" brand of smallgoods?

Bluey made a derogatory remark about the quality of Turbo's meats, and Turbo grabbed him tighter and hissed again.

"What are you, a XXXXXXX snake?" yelled Bluey who was still on W time and had never been out of Esperance.

"If I ....."

 

[onetrack]

.....was even given any of this dodgy Chinese tucker, I wouldn't feed it to my dog!! That Chinese cat is the biggest giveaway ever, and I wouldn't be seen dead in a Chinese restaurant! - let alone go into one to vote!"

 

Turbo sighed. This bloke was a major problem, and he needed to be dealt with in a manner suiting his abrasive nature. Turbo decided it must be all the exposure to West Australian sand that gave Bluey his abrasive nature - and God knows, Esperance has sand aplenty.

 

"Let's go over to the Sailors Arms pub and have a little talk over a beer and good old meat pie", said Turbo. "They not only serve Emu Bitter over there, they sell good pies containing real beef!"

 

"Now yer talking!", exclaimed Bluey. "Lead on, I need to..........

[bull]

........

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....was even given any of this dodgy Chinese tucker, I wouldn't feed it to my dog!! That Chinese cat is the biggest giveaway ever, and I wouldn't be seen dead in a Chinese restaurant! - let alone go into one to vote!"

 

Turbo sighed. This bloke was a major problem, and he needed to be dealt with in a manner suiting his abrasive nature. Turbo decided it must be all the exposure to West Australian sand that gave Bluey his abrasive nature - and God knows, Esperance has sand aplenty.

 

"Let's go over to the Sailors Arms pub and have a little talk over a beer and good old meat pie", said Turbo. "They not only serve Emu Bitter over there, they sell good pies containing real beef!"

 

"Now yer talking!", exclaimed Bluey. "Lead on, I need to..........

.have a piss,so after Turbo went in the door  Bluey walked around the back of the pub to have a slash and seen Turbo in the yard loading up shovels and potato sacks and such into the ute!   WTF was going on thought "Bluey" as he slid out of sight and as he was backing around the corner a hand landed on his shoulder and a loud voice said...................