The Never Ending Story

[hihosland]

who was finding that even after all that Drifter practice he was in no way prepared for the extreme cold that was steadily creeping its way up from his toes towards his his icy grin the numbness had already passed his knees and was now heading for his...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

......hiho.

 

 

[turboplanner]

orbit, lost in space, his automatic pitot tube cover waving in the breeze.

 

 

[Tomo]

... poor Tomo was quite unimpressed by his current position, and tried to work out how he's going to rectify it.

 

Problem was; there was a slight leak in the trusty Jab cockpit resulting in loss of usable oxygen; it was getting unspeakably cold, the engine had stopped and I was floating past a fandangle looking satellite with all the bells and whistles - but clearly out of reach...!

 

Fortunately I had with me a satellite phone so I could contact the NASA head quarters to ask for help...

 

To which they replied.......

 

 

[shags_j]

But according to section 290-170 of the sis act excess contributions will be....

 

Wait maybe a little too off topic

 

 

[ahlocks]

But according to section 290-170 of the sis act excess contributions will be....Wait maybe a little too off topic

"No, no. quite relevant really!" replied Gunah,:chill out:senior partner in law firm Gunah, Sendyah and Brohke. "By the time O'Dalby gets his skinny little butt back down from up there, :gerg: he'll be needing assistance in such matters "....

 

 

[turboplanner]

But according to section 290-170 of the sis act excess contributions will be....

Wait maybe a little too off topic

 

No offence against you Shags but this is a dump, from the thread "www.pprune.org", which I think belittles the hard work people put into this thread to make funny contributions.

 

The other thread is taking on a more sinister character, and there appears to be something going on in the background that needs to be addressed.

 

I'd suggest people read that thread from its curious start to the present.

 

 

[Admin]

I copied the post over to here so blame me - I was just trying a strategy to keep threads on track whilst also promoting the NES for everyone to join in

 

 

[ahlocks]

Pheww!!!!

 

I thought NES was going to go all serious :mulie:and have a topic that made sense.

 

...... Bugga that....

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

"No, no. quite relevant really!" replied Gunah,:chill out:senior partner in law firm Gunah, Sendyah and Brohke. "By the time O'Dalby gets his skinny little butt back down from up there, :gerg: he'll be needing assistance in such matters "....

...not to mention assistance with that all important matter of how to write in the third person, something he had some trouble with a fair while back but seemed to get the hang of it, until his recent post where he fell off the wagon and went back to using "I". But perhaps we NESers can attribute that to being trapped in space in a leaky Jabbiroo?

 

DitDot, receiving no reply from NASA on his fancy sootellite phone, and being of a MacGuyver sort, decided that he would have to rely on what he had with him in the Jab to return to Earth. Taking his fancy flippy pitot-tube cover, he....

 

 

[turboplanner]

Please excuse me Arloked, for being so frivolous, and waffling around. I think I was scratching myself and the motion was transferred to my Intelligent Keyboard.

 

What's an Intelligent Keyboard?

 

 

[turboplanner]

Never mind, Turbo has just rear, (three year old Magazine in the Dentist's surgery) that a Cyclist now pumps out more CO2 than the Toiyota Prius, so he's off on a campaign to Ban All Cyclists, particularly the ones on Beach Road, Melbourne who always complained about his "big" 4WD - Well that's after he celebrates by getting the chainsaw out and hacking down a hectare or two.

 

 

[ahlocks]

....What's an Intelligent Keyboard?

:ne_nau: T'ain't nuthin I've ever had anything to do with....:clown:

 

================

 

Sorry Darks, ...will get back to the storyline a bit later. :stirring pot:

 

 

[Tomo]

What's an intelligent Keyboard?

This -

 

1. An intelligent keyboard system comprising:

 

 

 

an intelligent keyboard having central portable compute, command and control functions for voice and data information;

 

 

 

a network server unit;

 

 

 

a multichannel multiplexing transmitter/receiver unit for communicating voice or data information between the intelligent keyboard and the network server unit via an inside line path and an outside line path, respectively.

 

 

 

2. An intelligent keyboard system comprising:

 

 

 

an intelligent keyboard having central portable compute, command and control functions;

 

 

 

a network server unit;

 

 

 

a multichannel multiplexing transmitter/receiver unit for communicating between the intelligent keyboard and the network server unit.

 

 

 

3. A method for using an intelligent keyboard system to enable communication and control between a peripheral device and a network server comprising the steps of:

 

 

 

providing an intelligent keyboard;

 

 

 

assigning a unique identification number to the peripheral device;

 

 

 

communicating a command between the network server and the intelligent keyboard, together with the identification number;

 

 

 

relaying the command between the intelligent keyboard and the peripheral device with that identification number so that communication of the command between the network server and the peripheral device is enabled.

 

 

 

4. The method of claim 3 with communication between the peripheral device and the intelligent keyboard and communication between the intelligent keyboard and another peripheral device so that communication between peripheral devices is enabled.

 

 

 

5. An intelligent keyboard system comprising:

 

 

 

an intelligent keyboard, the keyboard including a display for displaying text and graphics;

 

 

 

a network server;

 

 

 

means for communicating between the network server and the intelligent keyboard;

 

 

 

the intelligent keyboard providing text and graphics from and to the network server.

 

 

 

6. The intelligent keyboard system of claim 5 wherein text is input and output by audible means from interpreting and synthesizing means within the intelligent keyboard.

 

 

 

7. The intelligent keyboard system of claim 5 including a touch screen input.

 

 

[turboplanner]

In an Apollo 13 type recovery in near space (we can't claim Jabs get too far or the Rotheads will have us), Tomo listed his on board equipment, which included two intelligent keyboards, not just one.

 

He looked around for some stickly tape and fortunately whoever had built the Jab hed left plenty of it loose, along with a GPS carton which he coupled with four of the old plastic coffee cups left there by his CFI ( as CFI's do).

 

Now he had a.......

 

 

[Captain]

Now he had a.......

...... bit of a problem, for as he made a balanced slow turn to stbd, the 170's high wing gave a blind-spot which coincided exactly with the blind-spot that Santa had behind the sacks on VH-SLD.

 

And as with most overnight freight runs, those bloody elfs had pushed the boundaries and had overloaded Santa's Sled by 20% and counteracted that by chucking a couple of extra old reindeer on the front (one of which had been hitting the Schnaps since Easter, and the other had an oil byepass problem).

 

So Tomo's "Slow-Hand" turn (an Eric Clapton aviation classic) forced Santa to pull up, push the throttles full forward, yell "Yo Prancer" and "Go to full rich, Rudolph" but the old fella's reflexes weren't what they used to be, he was above his aviation BMI because of all the pork, his machine was a bit sluggish from the extra weight, and ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...a mid air collision wa imminent.

 

But Tomo came to the rescue, pushing the throttle through the firewall, and the Jab engine respond with a burst of power that nearly took his eyebrows off.....

 

 

[Captain]

...a mid air collision wa imminent.

But Tomo came to the rescue, pushing the throttle through the firewall, and the Jab engine respond with a burst of power that nearly took his eyebrows off.....

"I'm sick of you RAA guys putting other users in danger from your ill-maintained aircraft" yelled Santa, who was a LAME for the other 11 months of the year, was a member of the SAAA (and has been building an RV3 since 1974 ........ but had nobody to ask for a reco'd 320 for Xmas), who was part of the push to get CASA into the RAA to regulate the self regulators, and who was an objector to the last round of NOPRM's (just check the list of submissions if you don't believe me).

 

" Up yours, Santa" yelled Tomo, who had thereby just written of any chance of getting a new XBox this year, and who .....................

 

 

[Bryon]

waved a rather decrepit looking used possum skin G-string at him in fit of pique. Santa took this as a ...........

 

 

[hihosland]

invitation to ..........

 

 

[Tomo]

....Drop down through space to earth below, Tomo kicking the 80 odd horses in the ribs up front dived down and followed him.....

 

=====

 

note: tomo will be going away as of tomorrow for a while (week).... just a courtesy note for the NES's that I haven't abandoned them completely!!

 

 

[Captain]

....Drop down through space to earth below, Tomo kicking the 80 odd horses in the ribs up front dived down and followed him.....

=====

 

note: tomo will be going away as of tomorrow for a while (week).... just a courtesy note for the NES's that I haven't abandoned them completely!!

But Santa was struggling as he wasn't really current, only flying once a year like he did.

 

"I didn't need my 3 takeoffs and landings as I wasn't taking a passenger, and I'm too experienced to have a check-ride with my CFI, so I just winged it" he commented later, and with an overweight Sled, 2 reindeer that were not performing up to expectations, and a sack of toys which fluttered above 86 knots on the left side (for santa could never remember which was Port and which was Stbd), Santa was in a bit of strife, he couldn't remember which was the dead side at Dalby, he had embibed a bit from the grog that was left out during a couple of his earlier calls down Bangholme way, and he had Tomo on his six putting pressure on.

 

"This will make a great "Human Factors" case study" said Lee.

 

"Bugger 'Human factors"" said Santa "How the heck am I going to get out of this?" .... then he remembered that the 2nd set of Reindeer behind Rudolph were nick-named 3300 and 914, and Santa suddenly recalled reading Page 24 of the manual for the Sled (which was in broken Czech english ..... yes it was a SportSled) and Santa cranked up an extra 235 hp by flicking 3300 and 914 on their bums with his 9ft RMW Stockwhip, then all hell broke loose when he rubbed his G-String and .........

 

 

[Tomo]

..... something fell out of Santa's Sledgstar, hurtling towards the front windscreen at an extremely fast rate of travel! Putting it into a steep turn the jabiru swung around hard to the left, the piece of something whistling past the window.... geee's that was close muttered tomo, nearly had a broke prop and no doubt a broke nose and windscreen!

 

He then noticed santa was frantically doing something... his panic was obvious and he seemed to be having trou........... Oh!....................

 

 

[Captain]

..... He then noticed santa was frantically doing something... his panic was obvious and he seemed to be having trou.....

... trout patte on his Salada's at Smoko, and trouble getting the SportSled to turn. ("If only I had gone for a high-wing Aussie made, and Queensland designed, Sled, instead of this European recycled coke/pepsi (cross out the one you don't like) can jobbie" thought Santa "And if'n I had, it's natural flight characteristics and high G capabilities would get me out of strife without too much pilot input")

 

"Keep ya ball in the middle there Santa" yelled Tomo the Homo (sapian), "And don't tell anyone around Dalbyville that you like trout patte, or they'll think you are ..........."

 

 

[turboplanner]

(sapian)[/font]' date=' "And don't tell anyone around Dalbyville that you like trout patte, or they'll think you are ..........."[/quote']

.... a bit like the visiting shearers these days."

 

Santa wasn't holding it together and the sleigh was going down fast. He lashed out with his whip, and 3300 gave a surge of power, but poor little 914, hampered by his gear just continued to whine like a Humber Snipe diff.

 

The sleigh rolled into a turn in the opposite direction, and Santa who hadn't kept up his assymetric practice began to panic, knowing the two thirds of the presents in the sleigh had come from an overnight stay at a certain Wagga Hostelry, where he had pinched every seewt out of the cherub's hands, cleaned out the towel racks, and even souvenired the "no spitting on the floor Turbo signs".

 

He....