The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

"As well as being a consistantly good bloke, one of the good things about Ahlow is that he is consistant with his locky work too, so it takes him as long to fit 'em as it does to open 'em (but it does cost you a quid if you get him to work by the hour, so all of my contracts with him have been Job-&-Finish)" whispered the Rat through the side of his gold fang, so my access will be OK for a while, the spaying will get done, the animals will be safe and .............

The Rat was being cryptic, but in the exchange. and out of sight, after looking around to make sure Mrs Doubtfire wasn't patrolling had slipped Ahlow a roll of gaffer tape (100 kt)

 

Ahlow gunned the van towards the airport, quickly applied the tape, preflighted in 30 seconds, opened the throttle, realised he was still in the hangar (or hanger depending where you come from), jumped out, opened the door and did it againand was soon in the air.

 

As he headed downwind, No 1 in the circuit he saw the flash of strobes heading directly towards him and a bored voice giving an inbound radio call.

 

"Good Morning Roger, after you" he called in his most polite voice, but there was no reply, then:

 

"Roger Lighty", I'll go around came the confusing message, and for once Ahlow didn't know what to do.

 

"Ahlow Roger" he replied, "I insist"

 

"No Ahlow" replied the RPT, we must obey the law, so we'll give way to you"

 

Ahlow was overcome with emotion. How could this be happening? Was he now accepted as a genuine aviator?

 

"Ahlow, those wings seem to have a lot more curve this morning"

 

Ahlow reeled back shocked and insulted, and at the same time realised the RPT was using the point and shoot method and aiming directly for the Sportczar......

 

 

[Captain]

The Rat was being cryptic, but in the exchange. and out of sight, after looking around to make sure Mrs Doubtfire wasn't patrolling had slipped Ahlow a roll of gaffer tape (100 kt)

Ahlow gunned the van towards the airport, quickly applied the tape, preflighted in 30 seconds, opened the throttle, realised he was still in the hangar (or hanger depending where you come from), jumped out, opened the door and did it againand was soon in the air.

 

As he headed downwind, No 1 in the circuit he saw the flash of strobes heading directly towards him and a bored voice giving an inbound radio call.

 

"Good Morning Roger, after you" he called in his most polite voice, but there was no reply, then:

 

"Roger Lighty", I'll go around came the confusing message, and for once Ahlow didn't know what to do.

 

"Ahlow Roger" he replied, "I insist"

 

"No Ahlow" replied the RPT, we must obey the law, so we'll give way to you"

 

Ahlow was overcome with emotion. How could this be happening? Was he now accepted as a genuine aviator?

 

"Ahlow, those wings seem to have a lot more curve this morning"

 

Ahlow reeled back shocked and insulted, and at the same time realised the RPT was using the point and shoot method and aiming directly for the Sportczar......

..... if'n I could only pull a high G turn, I could get away" he thought, but wasn't game in case he was got by Rule 6.0.1 (see obscure reference to Breaker Morant's Rule 3.0.3) ... or would those rivetted VB cans hold for just one more semi-aerobatic manoeuver (how the stuff do you spell that?) and a ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

'I know' piped up Darky...

 

 

........who was busy setting up the next manic trap for the unwary. What would the question be this time?

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... if'n I could only pull a high G turn, I could get away" he thought, but wasn't game in case he was got by Rule 6.0.1 (see obscure reference to Breaker Morant's Rule 3.0.3) ... or would those rivetted VB cans hold for just one more semi-aerobatic manoeuver (how the stuff do you spell that?) and a ..........

........skidding turn on to final behind the RPT.

 

But this was one insult too many.

 

"YOU OBFUSCATING OBFUSCATION!" yelled Ahlow, which as readers would know was very uncharacteristic of him, and flicked on the radar jamming device he'd made up from a kit he bought on an overseas web site.

 

The RPT zoomed up, and in sheer terror the pilots realised they would have to land this one manually.......

 

 

[Captain]

........skidding turn on to final behind the RPT.

But this was one insult too many.

 

"YOU OBFUSCATING OBFUSCATION!" yelled Ahlow, which as readers would know was very uncharacteristic of him, and flicked on the radar jamming device he'd made up from a kit he bought on an overseas web site.

 

The RPT zoomed up, and in sheer terror the pilots realised they would have to land this one manually.......

"Oooooh Ehrrrrr" they said "How can we do this manually and should we do it with or into the wind?"

 

"I reckon we should ban Tubbo for excessive Obfuscating, and we need to do it quickly, before he goes blind" said the slightlystouttrout "So he can ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Oooooh Ehrrrrr" they said "How can we do this manually and should we do it with or into the wind?"

"I reckon we should ban Tubbo for excessive Obfuscating, and we need to do it quickly, before he goes blind" said the slightlystouttrout "So he can ................

Turbo promised he would try not to ObXXXXXXe any more, but who was it who came up with the name "slightlystouttrout? - that WAS a brave man......

 

EDIT: "Turbo promised not to [blank space] any more"

 

 

[Tomo]

, but who was it who came up with the name "slightlystouttrout? - that WAS a brave man......

I can't remember?

 

Come to think of it...

 

Stout means - (of a person) somewhat fat or of heavy build

 

Trout means - an annoying or bad-tempered old person, esp. a woman. (that's what was in the dictionary!)

 

But then it goes on to say - and highly valued as food and game.

 

So even though it's is a little "over" the top for being polite, The last phrase makes up for it..... even though it's for eating you, but still!

 

:csm:

 

 

[Tomo]

Obfuscate[/color] any more"

Odd for scatting?

 

 

[Captain]

EDIT: "Turbo promised not to [blank space??? ... tee hee] any more"

"Well I have made enquiries with the ladies (both "of-the-day" and "of-the-night") around Bangholme and they have all said that they know Turbs well and he has been promising not to do "it" any more ...... for many years ..... but he always does, and when asked why he can't stop doing "it" he almost always fell back on the Edmund Hillary quote of "I did it because it is there".

 

"I wish they made a Nicorette equivalent for THAT" said The Rat, worried about Tubbo's future on the NES if he keeps this up, as the ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

Odd for scatting?

You have touched on something we do in Victoria Tomo. We've been scatting since the State was first colonised, and, Melbourne being the sports capital of the world, we win a lot of the time. We now regularly play India, Pakistan, West Indies and England, although England doesn't scat as well as they used to.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"I wish they made a Nicorette equivalent for THAT" said The Rat, worried about Tubbo's future on the NES if he keeps this up, as the ...............

...Fat Fish that's no good to eat (remember, it was Tomo who told us) will be working up to a button push."

 

However, the Bangholme CWA took umbrage at the Rat's inferences, and went out of their way to point out quite a different meaning.

 

"It's EAT" said Maisy, "he can't help himself eat"

 

"We put out sandwiches for a hundred people and before we can get the glad wrap off he's run down the table like a Street Sweeper and swallowed the lot"

 

 

[Captain]

...Fat Fish that's no good to eat (remember, it was Tomo who told us) will be working up to a button push."

However, the Bangholme CWA took umbrage at the Rat's inferences, and went out of their way to point out quite a different meaning.

 

"It's EAT" said Maisy, "he can't help himself eat"

 

"We put out sandwiches for a hundred people and before we can get the glad wrap of he's run down the table like a Street Sweeper and swallowed the lot"

"We call him the BangholmeSangaMuncha" added Doris who specialised in Scones and a big Urn "But I must admit" she added when away from polite company "That he would often then go out the back when nobody was around and do "it" ....... which is not all that pleasant on a full stomach ..... unless you are like me and Elsie, our Vice-President, and like to WATCH."

 

"Heavens" was Ahlow's response to Tomo "Turbo's a .................

 

 

[Tomo]

... scatterer from Melbourne, and is best at it.

 

 

[Captain]

... scatterer from Melbourne, and is best at it.

So like most Queenslanders, Tomo longed to be accepted by the rest of the Country, and used the noun "Scat", the verb "to scat" and the adjective "scatterer" at every opportunity and at each Dinner party to which he was invited in Dalby and surrounding district.

 

He even dropped it into his keynote speech after the dinner at the Great Eastern, and boy did those southerners ever scatter.

 

'Where did yez all go, eh?" asked Tomo "I was only ..................

 

 

[turboplanner]

'Where did yez all go, eh?" asked Tomo "I was only ..................

........ repeating what you said"

 

"In correct grammer (or grammar), there's no Repetitive for that word" said Premier Brumby addressing a shocked community, "and our Government will use everything in its power to track down offending Queenslanders who infer we are like that"

 

Back at the CWA Hall, Daisy was a bit bewildered by the hot shifting NES storyline.

 

"But I've still got the jugs haven't I?" she asked apprehensively

 

 

[Captain]

Back at the CWA Hall, Daisy was a bit bewildered by the hot shifting NES storyline.

"But I've still got the jugs haven't I?" she asked apprehensively

"You still make the best Tea in town, Daizz" said Elsie "Your Jugs and your Urn or some of the best around, and after our time in that CWA mixed sauna out the back of the hall, I can confirm the Seinfeld line that "they are real and they are spectacular" even at nearly 80. Are they Meisen or from DJ's? And your Urn is ................."

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....a bit too hot Daisy, I just burnt myself on it" said Elwyn who given up time from breeding rabbits, to come in and have a nice cup of tea with the CWA ladies.

 

 

[Captain]

"....a bit too hot Daisy, I just burnt myself on it" said Elwyn who given up time from breeding rabbits, to come in and have a nice cup of tea with the CWA ladies.

"That Elwyn looks to be a bit of a sly dog" observed Tomo the Homo (sapian) "I bet that he is a real scatterer ..... eh? If I was down there I would .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

..be picking scones out of my teeth for months....

 

 

[Captain]

..be picking scones out of my teeth for months....

..... while the ahlovaczaqian has trouble catching up with the massive flow of posts over recent days, puts on his possum skin g-bunger, lies back to think of the female Czechoslovakian aviation technician that built his Szara, and .....

 

My Aunt reckons that 3000 posts on the NES will soon be in the garden ..... but who will click it over? Some Scatterer, I bet.

 

 

[ahlocks]

...thunked. i_dunno

 

"Prolly a good thing finding out that the wings might fall off..." he continued thunking.

 

"After finding out that landing the bl:censored:dy thing is beyond the capacity of mere mortals,

 

'was gunna have to tear 'em off and throw 'em on the junk heap along with the GPS, radio and transponder any way..."

 

 

[Captain]

...thunked. i_dunno

"Prolly a good thing finding out that the wings might fall off..." he continued thunking.

 

"After finding out that landing the bl:censored:dy thing is beyond the capacity of mere mortals,

 

'was gunna have to tear 'em off and throw 'em on the junk heap along with the GPS, radio and transponder any way..."

 

... thunked Ahloh who was feeling a bit sorry for his-self and a bit fuscatory (but he was not at all "Ob" so far this day).

 

"I know how to brighten my day with all these CB's and CU's around. I'll head up to one of the big buggers, have a free roller-coaster thrill ride and give my wing spar a test-out so that I can be sure that it is .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...a different type, but, and folks this is how fate sometimes takes a hand, he decided to check the latest posts on RFDotcomau, and his world was shattered when he read a post declaring that all low wing aircraft were weak in the guts, gutz, gust, gruts - ah well I tried.

 

Now he couldn't fly his brain cooker, even with gaffer tape.......

 

 

[Captain]

...a different type, but, and folks this is how fate sometimes takes a hand, he decided to check the latest posts on RFDotcomau, and his world was shattered when he read a post declaring that all low wing aircraft were weak in the guts, gutz, gust, gruts - ah well I tried.

Now he couldn't fly his brain cooker, even with gaffer tape.......

 

.... but "What the heck" he thought "As someone on another thread said that it doesn't really matter how many low wingers fold up as long as it is less than the annual number of fatal car accidents in each state, so everything is right with the world, wing-spar wise, and me and the SS will continue to be great mates. Now where is the nearest CB so we can have a bit of fun show'n 'em how wrong they are about a belly tank full of unleaded and a .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...dozen cartons of Redhead matches as feight.