The Never Ending Story

[BigPete]

So - Bryon, you're a drummer. That's OK, I'll speak s l o w e r.

 

(Yes, I know this could all end in tears).

 

regards (and I'm not a Guitarist )

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[MrH]

So - Bryon, you're a drummer. That's OK, I'll speak s l o w e r.

(Yes, I know this could all end in tears).

 

regards (and I'm not a Guitarist )

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

:scratch head:'mmm...' thought BigbonePete, 'Maybe Ditdot can help translate Bryonthebeatnicks banging noises, he know morse code.' "Hey .... . .-.. .--. / - --- -- --- --. .-. .. -.

 

 

[Tomo]

"Well if you can't play anything else... drumming is the next best thing I'spose"

 

Drummers can't play a melody (though I've heard one do it once!), they just create an added flavour to a tune, they are the one that gets all the attention, they are the ones that get to do a 5 minute solo at the end, And they get to wear a hat!

 

"Oh well, we'll allow you to be a drummerbryon if you so desire" said Bigpete, "just don't come this way or you'll get a mouth full!" (bigpete will understand the lingo)

 

======

 

-. --- / .-- --- .-. .-. .. . ... / ....

 

 

[Bryon]

:drums:

 

Q: How can you tell a guitarist is at your door?

 

A: By the Dominos Pizza hat.

 

Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?

 

A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

Now back to the thread or I will sic Ian on to you all (Heathens!!!)

 

 

[BigPete]

:big_grin: How do you know a drummers knocking at your door

 

He slows down.

 

:big_grin: What do you get when you cross a drummer with a roadie

 

An even dumber drummer. :big_grin:

 

(Armour on)

 

egads

 

:big_grin:

 

 

[Bryon]

(Said in pompous tone :rolleyes1:)

 

One should really treat with disdain such remarks from the unwashed rabble

 

They only have a go at us because of their inferiority complex, but I assume it amuses them!! :stirring pot:

 

And just to keep the NES off thread

 

What's worse than telling jokes about guitarists?

 

Laughing at 'em.

 

What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

 

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

 

 

[BigPete]

A quiet, :confused: uneasy hush fell over the NES as Bryon nee (cryin') commits the Faux Pax of the 21st Century. :black_eye: Not realizing that most contributors to the NES either are guitarist :thumb_up: themselves or have one as a family member :thumb_up: or aspire to be one, :thumb_up: Bryon has in one hit alienated all contributors (99%) in one foul swoop. thumb_down:angry:

 

Its now up to KickStartPete :big_grin: (who is NOT a guitarist) to once more restart the NES for all and sundry. :thumb_up:

 

Even Tomo (who is still not old or tall enough to go on the big kid rides at Adventure World) knows enough not to do the strummer jokes. "Gosh" :ah_oh: gushed young Tomo "Bryon Bro you sure stopped the NES in its tracks"

 

Even the Rat,:heart: who spent many a wonderful afternoon pluckin' away in his Aunt's

 

garden remains unusually quiet. :raise_eyebrow:

 

"" said Slarti12stringsIsMeBartFast, "this could take forever to fix"

 

How long would the NES rest. i_dunno Who will be the hero who saves the day......

 

(besides ResurectionPete)

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[slartibartfast]

"Don't bring me into it", said slarti.

 

"I play piano. That takes real talent".

 

But slarti had a suggestion.

 

"I think we need some sax".

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

"I think we need some sax".

"Did he say we need some sex?" asked McLocks who was temporarily deaf in one ear due to...

 

 

[Guest Decca]

"Aye thank goodness ye saved us ResurrectionPete" said Deccadence from Asp Gully.

 

"Now I feel free to bring the hills alive with the sound of music from my piano accordion, joined by Planey on the mouth organ, Slarti on the grand, someone else with a trumpet, & ahlocks with a 912.

 

Even the Life of Bryon can be saved, & may his drums be allowed to roll.....................

 

 

[ahlocks]

"That'd be right!" commented Ahloch. "Some one mentions sax and in comes Dika bearing his asp..."

 

 

[Tomo]

"why yes...!" "sax is what we need"..... "what sort?" asked ditdah

 

 

[ahlocks]

Bryon had rolled off a clever snare :drums: to up the tempo of NES, and then paused as a riff gained momentum. :cool_shades:

 

The neck shredders :guitarist:, unable to keep time on their own, twanged off a few staccato retorts, but they were bassless () and unable to sustain a rhythmic attack.

 

As their arrangement became more disc(h)ordant, the guitarists began to quaver and unable to stave off the up coming slur (yes, it's actually a musical notation)

 

"What do you call a group of guitarists?" taunted a timpanist from the back row. "a lick clique!" she jeered as she nochantly leafed through her law texts. (The wind section remained tight lipped as they were saving all their hot air for discussions about rego labels. )

 

"We'll distract them with sax!" suggested Slarti(pianoman)Joel. "That alto stave them off!" agreed Tom Tom.

 

"Yeah, guitar players are notorious for thinking with their crotchets and believing that they are going to score." added Ahlow :amazon:as carefully placed his lyre :augie:onto it's stand.

 

"Betcha a tenor at least one of them won't be able to leave it rest..." :stirring pot:

 

 

[BigPete]

With a crash of cymbals and a sfz cres. chord (Em7b9) from the brass section Bari enters the NES "I've got tone" he says to the astounded ensemble :ah_oh: - "and my sax is almost the biggest :thumb_up: you can get." And with that he sat and played the Lisa lick from the Stinsons - from pp to ff he ad libbed (to the layman he huffed and puffed (and improvised) and blew the house down) to the cheers from the NES crew.

 

" "said SlartiFingersBartPresto, "this Bari bloke sure knows his scales. I can't remember the last time I had to play in the Lydian and Phygrian modes." i_dunno

 

Hastily the percussion section huddled into a corner to discuss whether Slarti was in breach for using bad language (Lydian and whatever he said). :confused: :confused: They were still at it hours later....

 

Meanwhile - the brass section :heart: (trumpets, trombones and the tubas, have cracked open a keg of XXXX (which was cooled in ice and cleverly hidden inside the largest timpani) and are heatedly discussing whether the french horn players should be allowed to join them. (they can be weird lot at times). :yuk: (the horn players, I mean).

 

IanI'mTheBossWhere'sMyBaton enters the room and approaches the podium -"Gentleman (and percussion )" he said, in his rich tenor voice, ".............

 

regards

 

 

[Bryon]

IanI'mTheBossWhere'sMyBaton enters the room and approaches the podium -"Gentleman (and percussion )" he said, in his rich tenor voice, ".............

 

regards

"Gentleman and Ladies, the general tone and intellectual level of the NES has taken a giant step up" he thundered :thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

"To acknowledge humble drummers :drums: as percussionists is a quantum leap in manners"

 

"You are all to be congratulated and ......................

 

PS :stirring pot:

 

 

[BigPete]

...just in case you might have delusions of granduer, :clown: let me remind you that your contribution is still limited to banging :hittinghead: stretched animal skins and polished tin.

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Bryon]

...just in case you might have delusions of granduer, :clown: let me remind you that your contribution is still limited to banging :hittinghead: stretched animal skins and polished tin.

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

"It is not what we bang,.... but how we bang it that makes it interesting"

 

 

PS...still :stirring pot:

 

 

[ahlocks]

"You musos do bookings?" enquired McLoch

 

" 'cuz were gunna need a band to play at a gig in Nannaland shortly!" he explained and told of how Tomo had left the chat room early last night, but stayed logged in to see what was said about him while he slept.

 

"So, when ditDah :big_grin: wakes up at o'dark thirty :yuk: this morning, to read through the chat room history :raise_eyebrow::ah_oh:, he's sure to want to book a band :drums::guitarist: ..."

 

BrassBandPete pursed his lips and blew a raspberry into his long tin tube thingo to herald the announcement ....

 

============

 

Ahhhh, :heart: a forum wedding:smash pc:....

 

Shame that neither of them know about it ...:yelrotflmao:yet....

 

 

[MrH]

"It is not what we bang,.... but how we bang it that makes it interesting"

 

PS...still :stirring pot:

mmm.:robin:..Drummers can bang all night :hittinghead: while the brass run out of puff! Guitarists just watch while strumming it..:guitarist:. ..........meanwhile chickenlickanahlocksy & MrHennypeny try to get a group together for the Nanaland Fair in the garden, before the sky falls down, but they cant find Tubzzytuber or Qwertykeyboard to join them, anywhere......:Disappointed:

 

 

[Tomo]

Ahlocks..... sshhh don't go letting out to many secrets just yet!

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

Ahhhh, :heart: a forum wedding:smash pc:....Shame that neither of them know about it ...:yelrotflmao:yet....

A cold shiver runs down Darky's back and she wishes that she'd been in the chatroom last night rather than being confused now...

 

 

[Tomo]

A cold shiver runs down Darky's back and she wishes that she'd been in the chatroom last night rather than being confused now...

Actually being confused now probably is the best, considering the Chat room last night!

 

 

:csm:

 

 

[ahlocks]

A cold shiver runs down Darky's back.....

"As there should young girl!" scolded aunt Gladys,:DirtDOG: great grand aunt of the groom.

 

"...A backless gown just isn't suitable attire at such a formal occasion!" :lol 8:

 

The drummer :drums: commenced a spectacular roll to introduce the emcee, :ilmostro: ('cuz the brass section had failed dismally :Disappointed: to sound the herald) as forum ambassador, (resident lady killa :polite:) and mayor of Asp Valley stepped up to the dais.

 

"Nicely done, Bryskins!" :thumb_up: complimented Dika as he took the microphone, "Perhaps if you'd rolled it a little more to the left, you would have missed the bridal partly :big_grin: and hit those couple of guitarists instead."

 

Dika then turned to the crowd to begin the formalities.

 

"Distinguished guests, ladies, gentlemen and assorted coastal folk....."

 

 

[Tomo]

"let's all begin before we're broke"

 

With a blast from the trumpet, Bigpete led the way... Bryon bring up the rear with a drum to clear the way. (though from the my point of view, it just looked like he'd eaten to much!)

 

Though what ever it was, it sounded, doof doof doof doof doof dof doof, "keep it time will ya," yelled the guitarist!

 

"Yeah would help the situation a lot" said Slarti, who was running off on a tangent on the piano.....

 

 

[Guest Decca]

And on another tangent the mayor of Asp Valley has been looking for any opportunity to address the masses again.

 

Nobody can CFIT to fall into Dawgie's Hyp(o)thetical. Everyone's screaming as if they've just been hit with a CASA Human Factors exam that's got so many Hyp(o)theticals it's impossible to get a pass!

 

Announcements (fanfare & drum roll please); Meantime Megan is home, the youngest just landed who will qualify for the U25 group Tom.

 

And this brings into being a new state (somewhere near St Arnaud, Vic) that we'll be able to visit in the subrolla, wait for it:- MegBec'N'Stan, where....