The Never Ending Story

[Guest Decca]

quote Tomo; "Yeah would help the situation a lot" said Slarti, who was running off on a tangent on the piano..... "

 

........"What's wrong with you'se?" said Slartifastfingers in impeccable English. "Aint you'se ever seen a tangential piano before?"........

 

 

[Tomo]

... "yes, I've seen a pianist be tangental before"... "but drummers!"... "now that has got to be something different!" Said the Jazzpete...

 

=====

 

Thinks he might have to have a meeting with the Nanna... for no particular reason.

 

 

[Guest Decca]

Dika then turned to the crowd to begin the formalities.

 

"Distinguished guests, ladies, gentlemen and assorted coastal folk....."

........reached into his tuxedo jacket inner breast pocket, turned a whiter shade of pale, then turned away from the spotlight, calling "ahlocks, ahlocks, where's me speech?"

 

Dika turned back to the spotlight, said to the gatherng "Aw Shucks", could see that Ditdot was the only one around to save him posting 3 straight posts on ANY thread, but decided to stay on this line anyway, turned away from the spotlight again & said "ahlocks,ahlocks, where's me speech?"

 

big Pete could see Dika was in trouble, struck up the band with "blue velvet" til Dika could find his speechwriter (and speech)............

 

 

[ahlocks]

... the debonair Dika :ilmostro: was truely a master at his craft!

 

For not only had he brought the rowdy melee to a hush in antici..............pation, of his pending oration. He'd successfuly fired off a couple of sly winks ;) to the pretty little things :spruce_up: on the second table and received two promising :polite: new phone numbers in response from the third! :heart:

 

"Welcome to the post nuptial soirée of :big_grin: and ." Dika began.

 

"As is a custom of the times, I will ask that all mobile phones are switched off ....

 

and could someone take that telegraph keypad from MrH please."

 

Dika took a sip from his martini, (shaken, not strirred?) straightened his jacket and continued......

 

 

[ahlocks]

"...As some of our assembled guests may not be aware, the service was an intimate affair held in the late hours with just three guests. (next time he wont say he's going to give someone a ring, then head of to bed..) The event was meticulously planned and officiated by a couple of mentoratti :DevilDog:and another witness to monitor for subtle script changes or deletions." () " (that might drag Tubz out of seclusion...)

 

"Tell 'em about the honeymoon plans Decs!" interrupted McLoch

 

"Ah yes." Nodded Dika, "We'll be passing the hat around later :cool_shades:, to raise some funds for their flying holiday around FNQld!"

 

"I'll give you an extra $100.00 if you keep 'em out of F'nNSW" shouted a voice from the back row....

 

=================

 

Probably see you in three days for this one...Tee Hee!

 

 

[Tomo]

Having been to the video editor's today, Ahlocks is proud to present the final choice after much debate .......

 

 

[ahlocks]

:ne_nau: ....I'm still banned :ymca:for telling naughty jokes....

 

=============

 

p'raps rattus might know.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

...Slowly they circled, all eager to inject a bit of frivolity :clown: back into a mundane day.

 

A few sporadic probes :amazon:had been been fired, :stirring pot: But just who would stir it up first?

 

Trouble maker :big_grin: fired the first salvo and then settled in for a reaction.

 

"Reckon we could give the boss' tail a twitch!" hinted trouble maker A. "Betcha not game to Trouble maker D" he teased.

 

"Pig's bum!" exclaimed D. :lol 8: "Here goes nuthin'!...."

 

 

[Tomo]

On this day - March 14 2010, 7.50am AEST the NES is lying very very quiet. Could be drowning in it sorrows, it could be on holiday, it could be dead all together...

 

But it's not no more.... :rilla:

 

 

[BigPete]

Whilst recently struggling with some over tight and worn out rubber donut thingys Trelleborg10PlyPete was watching a cobber ripping a good 2mm off the diameter of his wheels :thumb_up: when, as he watched the JabiruToTightRims spinning on the lathe, a brilliant thought struck him like a Wotax :yuk: conrod thru the crankcase.

 

"Bloody Hell" :ah_oh: GobsmackedPete :nerd:said to himself. "That's it - no tyres needed." Grabbing a ruler, he quickly measure the rotating rim. Yes, it will fit. :thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

Every one horse town in the country has a railroad, of which most are now unused. :confused: As luck would have it the Jabirue wheelbase was the same as the railway tracks. Geez I'm a genius said LeonadoDaPete as he placed his tyreless JabiChooChoo :heart: onto the local railway track at Echooca.

 

With a shower of sparks, :big_grin: and the rims squealing like a RootedRotax gearbox :big_grin: the JabiruExpress blasted down the track and leaped into the air.

 

Hundreds of JabiruMeToo :thumb_up: owners gleefully ripped of their tyres and followed in his wheel tracks. All over the country, unused railway sidings became the new airports of the Wreckreation community. :face and heart:

 

IFRR trax was the new buzzword, and PioneerPete i_dunno also instigated the new "Get me there in bad weather" rule. "Trim just enough to get the front wheel 2 inches off the deck and stay on the rails at 100 knots" :ah_oh::ah_oh:

 

Of course, CRASSA, :devil: the ANR and the ATSB were not impressed.......

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[MrH]

:sleep:It has been very quiet around the corridors of the NES whilst preparations are being made for the big wedding.

 

Even Air Marshall Ditdahs promotion had passed by without even a paper clipping in the local:sad:

 

Long enough for:beg: BigBrassPete:queen: to play with rubber donuts & fantasize about railway landings (forgetting that he would need to hold off the nose wheel for the entire landing:DirtDOG:) & to make his band practice OoompapaAHs daily in the streets of Aaahchuca.

 

The famous regional telivision director :cool:Alfred Ahlocks was in his bathroom practicing finger clicks:rilla:, readying himself to direct the live local one camera TV coverage for BULDUS TV in Dalby.

 

Darksaki & Knobu were trying to beach the Subrolla, so they could drive it to the big event, but may need to stay afloat because of the "Perfectly Wet Every Day" Qld weather (not that there's anything wrong with that).

 

Best man :clown:Spameron was trying out his jokes for his speech on the unsuspecting chat room inhabitants.:scratch head:

 

Mean while, while all this preparation was happening, sneaking around the edges of NES, :ymca: CaptainRattyventmanager had been plotting with Tubzytuba, Bryonbeatnick :drums: & the :banned:keyboard player of BBP's band.

 

They met in the darkness of night in the Waggx2 hanger & were plotting to.......:dog::confused:

 

 

[Captain]

:sleep:It has been very quiet around the corridors of the NES whilst preparations are being made for the big wedding. Even Air Marshall Ditdahs promotion had passed by without even a paper clipping in the local:sad:

 

Long enough for:beg: BigBrassPete:queen: to play with rubber donuts & fantasize about railway landings (forgetting that he would need to hold off the nose wheel for the entire landing:DirtDOG:) & to make his band practice OoompapaAHs daily in the streets of Aaahchuca.

 

The famous regional telivision director :cool:Alfred Ahlocks was in his bathroom practicing finger clicks:rilla:, readying himself to direct the live local one camera TV coverage for BULDUS TV in Dalby.

 

Darksaki & Knobu were trying to beach the Subrolla, so they could drive it to the big event, but may need to stay afloat because of the "Perfectly Wet Every Day" Qld weather (not that there's anything wrong with that).

 

Best man :clown:Spameron was trying out his jokes for his speech on the unsuspecting chat room inhabitants.:scratch head:

 

Mean while, while all this preparation was happening, sneaking around the edges of NES, :ymca: CaptainRattyventmanager had been plotting with Tubzytuba, Bryonbeatnick :drums: & the :banned:keyboard player of BBP's band.

 

They met in the darkness of night in the Waggx2 hanger & were plotting to.......:dog::confused:

"I'm a bit worried" said CaptainRattyventmanager to Tubzytuba, Bryonbeatnick & McJockLocksSocks "As the self-confessed DonutPuncherPete (see line 1 of his post # 3657) has been arranging to meet up with that Queen's lander, young Tomo the Homo (sapian) in Temora (almost tomorra)."

 

"Now listen here" responded McSocks-down-his-Jocks "I'm in the proper Fire Brigade, not just the weekend warriors, so I know a fair bit about Donut-Punching, in fact I was invited to be a Krusty Kreme franchisee because of my prowess, and I reckon that ...................."

 

 

[ahlocks]

..."after the where'd the money go commission has finished, that there'll be a broom put to a few others too!"

 

SockLoch was impressed :ah_oh: with Rattus doesn'tmismuchus's intimate knowledge of such goings on. "Ear to walls and fangs to the roquefort" scoffed El Ratto :stirring pot: as he leafed through the engagement notices in the Dalby Bugle.....

 

 

[Captain]

..."after the where'd the money go commission has finished, that there'll be a broom put to a few others too!"

SockLoch was impressed :ah_oh: with Rattus doesn'tmismuchus's intimate knowledge of such goings on. "Ear to walls and fangs to the roquefort" scoffed El Ratto :stirring pot: as he leafed through the engagement notices in the Dalby Bugle.....

 

"What are yez imPlying?" asked 10PlyPete, as he plied his trade around that lovely border town and comPlied with all of the local regs.

 

"Nuth'n" answered Locksly, who was polishing his Sporty in readiness for an even grander entrance at Temora than was planned by Tomo and GrandePete.

 

"That'll be hard" responded the Rodent "As Tomo will find out the old aviation rule that the smoothness of a landing is inversely proportional to the number of people who are watching (Why is that?), so Tomo can expect to flair 12" higher than normal at 67.8 knots and therefore float half way down 36 in front of a cheering crowd of 500, while PrecisionlanderPete will nail it in less than the length of a tennis court (just because he can), and JoxfullaSox will make a low pass just like the TAM Spitfire does ("Missed Approach" he will radio while suppressing a giggle), at his 115 knots cruise speed 4 ft off the deck, pop a few of his fresh rivets, then do an Immelman to land down wind (just like the RPT's do) in front of his adoring fans, jump from the Szara in his new flying suit (complete with 4 gold bars, a scarf sewn onto the collar, and a Maypole streamer hanging from the zip), pose for the cameras and ........................

 

 

[ahlocks]

...launched into a pre prepared statement...:cool_shades:

 

"Thanks yous ladies and gentlemans :encore:....and Tomo.

 

"I haves to confess that I'd forgotten how to land and found that I couldn't slow downs after I turns finals.(:amazon:x2) So, I pulls back real hard on the stick to slows down, :ne_nau: and upsidedowns I went.

 

MentorMotz went ballistic:exclamation: ....

 

==========

 

Rat is cheating and adding bits.....:DirtDOG:

 

 

[Captain]

...launched into a pre prepared statement...:cool_shades:

"Thanks yous ladies and gentlemans :encore:....and Tomo.

 

"I haves to confess that I'd forgotten how to land and found that I couldn't slow downs after I turns finals.(:amazon:x2) So, I pulls back real hard on the stick to slows down, :ne_nau: and upsidedowns I went.

 

MentorMotz went ballistic:exclamation: ....

"I have never been so insulted" yelled Motza "Yet I am strangely attracted to this handsome flying suited Firey as I haven't seen such flying skills exercised since Emilia disappeared all them years ago."

 

"Hold ya acceptance speech, there Jocksy" radioed Tomo, who still hadn't landed. "Man, these 230 wings are efficient, eh?" he continued "I have just been in Parkes for the National Aero Titles (and almost made it back there again with the float from that last landing attempt) and I have to say that the SportStar was flown better, and performed even more betterer, than most of the Pitts over there. When/if I ever get down I'll shake your ..................

 

 

[ahlocks]

..bravado to the core!" continued Tomo as another thermal puffed him skyward.

 

"I've made a great discovery while bouncing down from dog's country (there was a rumour in the chat room that dislexic pilot's think that they are Dog...:clown:) That thermals are rotating columns of hot air!"

 

"And mutiple columns of hot air are called aviation forums!"

 

 

[Tomo]

When/if I ever get down I'll shake your .................. head...err...hand....

 

All this talk is making me nervous said a disconsolated (not that there's anything wrong with that) Dotditdah. I'll have to set up a heap of imaginarrry 'in awdience' people on me whittle dirt strip, and pra actise me fancy landings....

 

So are we gonna - fly it on, stall it on, wheel it on, nose wheel it on, left wheel it on, right wheel it on, or just do a 'plane' landing? Asked Bigpetewhoisgonnaflattensomeonestyressohecanfeelbetter.

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

So are we gonna - fly it on, stall it on, wheel it on, nose wheel it on, left wheel it on, right wheel it on, or just do a 'plane' landing? Asked Bigpetewhoisgonnaflattensomeonestyressohecanfeelbetter.

"The bigger question is what approach method you're going to use!" cried McLocks, waiting just long enough to utter a "tee hee" before dashing for cover... :stirring pot:

 

 

[Tomo]

me was thinking simla, and thought I'd trim it to straight and level (as much as a nannabenda can) and pull de power wever back... when the passenger starts yelling, and the awedience starts a' running you add power... and whacko we be levelled out like a bent nanna, to a marvelous three pointer....

 

It was so fun thought Bigyouwannadothatagainpete that we thought both de same thing, including the aeroprane that it boynged (gee's how do you speel boinged!) back into de air all bye's itself....

 

 

[ahlocks]

PancakeO'Dalby :fall:climbed slowly from his trusty 230,

 

had a scratch and then stretched his arms above his head :strong:to release the tension caused from his a long flight from Cecil Plains International. :smooch:

 

Oi! look up and live!! cautioned a nearby camper :rolleyes1:, as Pancake started to stagger forward.

 

"The pitot on that sportztsara will poke your eye out if you don't watch where your going.....

 

 

[BigPete]

....but this was no ordinary brussel sprout. No sir-ee, this was a queens :heart: brussel sprout who came up thru the ranks after starting as a lowly cub. :ah_oh: With a dib, dib, dib, our latest addition to the NES :confused: adjusted his woggle and carefully put grandma's teeth into his leather compass pouch.

 

That'll hold 'em until granny wants 'em he said to no one in particular. :) Suddenly Young ICan'tGetThis:censored:ThingToLandTomo roared overhead at 2 feet dragging his foot on the tarmac desperatley trying to slow the Jabizoom down to stall speed. :yuk:

 

Everyone on the ground was chanting PAT, PAT, PAT, but Tomo took no notice as he thought it was just a loud re-run of the Young Einsteins. (If you're not as young as Tomo, you may need to ask your grandkids about this.)

 

Meanwhile grandma :broken_heart: was lookin' for her teeth........

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

....but this was no ordinary brussel sprout. No sir-ee, this was a queens :heart: brussel sprout who came up thru the ranks after starting as a lowly cub. :ah_oh: With a dib, dib, dib, our latest addition to the NES :confused: adjusted his woggle and carefully put grandma's teeth into his leather compass pouch.

That'll hold 'em until granny wants 'em he said to no one in particular. :) Suddenly Young ICan'tGetThis:censored:ThingToLandTomo roared overhead at 2 feet dragging his foot on the tarmac desperatley trying to slow the Jabizoom down to stall speed. :yuk:

 

Everyone on the ground was chanting PAT, PAT, PAT, but Tomo took no notice as he thought it was just a loud re-run of the Young Einsteins. (If you're not as young as Tomo, you may need to ask your grandkids about this.)

 

Meanwhile grandma :broken_heart: was lookin' for her teeth........

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

The brussel sprout stood to attention and said "This weekend is "$47.23-A-Job week" (calculated by officially using the Baden Powel slide rule for the application of CPI from when it used to be "Bob-A-Job week"), so do any of youze aviators and aviatrix's want yez planes washed?"

 

"I do" said Locksley, "But be careful that you don't push too hard on the aluminimumumium skin and don't break the pitot off".

 

"Is there any chance that you can lose those socks, please sir" responded the Sprout "As you look a bit like Sir Les Patterson and are just as spotty."

 

McSocksinJocks took a-fence (which was lucky, as it wasnt locked), wiped off the dribble and said "Those aren't spots, young dib-dibber. Those are .....................

 

 

[ahlocks]

... impact marks." :black_eye:

 

"One of those grass roots flying types offered a ride " sputtered jocklocksock " and he failed to mention :devil: that the locusts have made a come back since it rained." :yuk:

 

WindscreenLoch hobbled off toward the crash truck to be debugged...

 

 

[BigPete]

...but the Fire truck (yes, I know it was a crash truck, but who's writting this anyway :big_grin:) had problems of it's own. :yuk: YoungHotFootTomo, :ah_oh: in a last ditch effort to land and join in the fun, has managed to catch hold of the fire hose that was unwound to dry (after a fire dousing demo) using the leather toggle rope attached to his :censored:I'mLostInTheFog Whistle.

 

So while TwisterTomo trys to wind himself down onto the ground by turning tighter and tighter, the Fire truck team :keen:i_dunno:blush: are having none of it and are desparately turning in the opposite direction. :devil::devil:

 

The Queens Scout (let's call him Russell ) has returned grandmas teeth and the two of them are standing together, mouths open :ah_oh::ah_oh: (and full of teeth) in awe of what is about to happen. :yuk:

 

"Holy " said grandma (the second daughter :heart: of a lay preacher) as PoorHe'sAGonerTurnaboutDeadDuckTomo starts to lose vital lift on the inside wing of the JabiStall plunger. thumb_down

 

Theres a kind of a hush (from the huge crowd now watching in total silence) as the JabbiAboutToBeRooted flips onto its back and heads straight for Grandma, :ah_oh: Russell Scout :black_eye: and the Fire truck.

 

"Look Out" shouted.....

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin: