The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..."Look Out" shouted.....

..... the Rat, who had spent much of his teens flying control-line models (with a 1.5 Taipan before he jumped into the big league with an upgrade to a 2.5 Taipan), and he ran to the fire-hose, took it off Sox-in-jox, who was still posing for the cameras in his bulging flying suit, yelled "Hang on to the hose, young Tomo" (who was in the midst of attempt to land #23, because the crowd had swelled to 700, then 7000 as all of Temora turned out to see if he could make it) and El Ratsy flew Tomo's 230 onto the ground with a Rat'ish panash and a landing that caused Tomo to say "I didn't even feel the wheels touch down, so all Queens-Land is grateful to you Sir Rodent. You will be awarded the Order of Queens .......... land, you will get a seat at both the Valley & Dalby Mardi Gras's and ..........................

 

My Aunt suggests that Tomo get to Temora on the Tuesday (before, not after, Easter), so that the crowd will be small and he can land without being effected by the aviation curse mentioned in para 3 of post # 3661.

 

 

[Tomo]

get a seat at the grand stand to watch the handy work of the capt'n reeling ditdo in...

 

"Trust you to get all the attention" mutted Ahlocks... :yuk:

 

"Do you know how long I took to clean this here beer can so I can have just a lit'l bit of fame...?!"

 

"Yeah well, I'm deeply sorry ahl..." "No your not!" Yelled a now rather furious locks

 

"I really am ahlocks... 'you see', I never gave me this attention... it was... err Him!"

 

"Typical homosapian" muttered the rat... blame someone else....

 

 

[Captain]

"Typical homosapian" muttered the rat... blame someone else....

............. but then, ever the gentleman, he shut up when he realised that there was a lovely female in the 230 wearing a thin & rather skimpy cotton printed number like a lot of f'nq and other Qld country women wore back when he prowled the Downs.

 

"Well hellllooooo" said the Rat, showing of his gold teeth to best effect.

 

"Crikey it's cold down here, down south of the border" she replied "Look at these."

 

"Leave that woman alone" demanded ChivalrousProtectivePete "I've seen what happened in the past in the NES to those flowers of the Riverina, and I'm not going to allow it again. She's ..................

 

 

[Tomo]

...me own mother!.... stated tomo with gusto :clown:

 

And just to let every NESer know, the 230 has been ditched and we're now bringing the cute lit'l 120

 

Quite a sad revelation... but somethings you can't control , specially when it comes to money I discovered it doesn't grow on trees... thumb_down :ah_oh:

 

Anyway, on the bright side, we're all the more cute, we'll be cruising at 100kts (more time to look around :thumb_up: ) only use 14ltrs and hr of go go juice, and it is even more fun to land! :clown: :clown:

 

Natfly growds suddenly cheered, and all eyes turned to where...

 

 

[Captain]

... Natfly crowds suddenly cheered, and all eyes turned to where...

 

..... Tomo's mum was standing, with the SW Slopes afternoon sun behind her, and when she noticed all of the crowd were looking at her (some with less than honourable intent [in a tent]), she said "At least the 120 meant that my lovely Tomo was able to get the thing onto the ground with less than 23 attempts, so I am here to meet all of the NES'ers who have kept my sprightly son amused for all those hours."

 

ProtectivePete took her arm and said "Come over to the Rec. Flying tent and let's have a couple of hotties and a .............

 

 

[ahlocks]

....a talk about DitDah's youthful :ecstatic:enthusiasm." :raise_eyebrow:

 

"It's the red cordial I tells you!" interjected lochJock(sock).

 

"He must drink gallons of the stuff! 'cuz every southerner knows that Qlder's just don't move as quick as he does!" (...)

 

Instantly, DitDah's head began to spin quicker than sportsTzar altimeter on climb out. ()

 

Not because the riverland rogues were making moves on his mum :ah_oh:...

 

He was surrounded :jump:by ....:heart::heart:

 

 

[planedriver]

..... ProtectivePete took her arm and said "Come over to the Rec. Flying tent and let's have a couple of hotties and as .............

many of the regulars are aware, it is customary for him to be head of the que for the "free" Bakers buns, and carry out the necessary quality control checks. He always makes room in the J160 for his running shoes so he can get them while they are fresh:big_grin:.( not that there's anything wrong with that)

 

Tomo's Mum had a job to keep up with him as they ran towards the tent arm in arm.

 

Whew!!! she gasped, you have the fitness of a very much younger man (I admire that). I spose you also train hard for the Chooka egg-n-spoon race and bale tossing contest:question:.

 

She was really impressed :thumb_up:with the consideration shown to her, as she was worried that her dear boy was possibly spending far too much time with a bunch of "riff-raff", who were not respectable Queens landers.

 

Planey assured her that whilst we occasionally get a bit carried away and say things we regret, we were mostly a league of gentleman, who have a distinctive handshake which is normally a bit greasy, but ok, after giving visitors a welcoming pat on the back.

 

Young Tomo negoitated a discount for a manicure for his Mum, by submitting his most -posts posted points, while the boss was busy flogging his aviation stuff, and throwing half of the money in the under-counter tin with Millenium something written on it;).

 

"After the manicure, come for a quick spin with me" said the smooth-talking Captain, "you'll just love my Jabby. It's a special 230TT version.(Twin Taipans) It's got a conversion with a 1.5 Taipan fitted to one wing, a 2.5 on the other and can really leap off the ground like a homesick angel". When used as a tri-motor on short take-off's, the buzzing sound is a bit like the electric flycatcher in the local fish n chip shop on a hot day, but its getting off the ground quick that counts.:big_grin:

 

Meanwhile..............

 

 

[Captain]

... stated Tomo with gutso...

"Who are you calling "gutso"?" was the call from a number of the NES contributoirs who had been tucking into Ian's Hotties and had recently upgraded their aircraft to legally transport that few extra Kgs that they were carrying.

 

... Meanwhile.............. ...

 

..... El Ratsack was cleaning the exhaust streaks off both wings where the Taipans had left that 3/4 burnt castor oil stain all over his nice paint job.

 

Meanwhile the Temora Chemists had all sold out of aftershave and deodorant.

 

"Your mum (and Ian's wife) are in safe hands young Tomo (and middle aged Ian). It's just Decca you have to worry about, while the rest of us are all gentlemen (glint, glint), we have all been tested, and I hope they like Pacco Raban and a big .............

 

 

[Captain]

....

He was surrounded :jump:by ....:heart::heart:

..... old pharts who were intent on .............

 

 

[Bryon]

" "Your mum (and Ian's wife) are in safe hands young Tomo (and middle aged Ian). It's just Decca you have to worry about, while the rest of us are all gentlemen (glint, glint), we have all been tested, and I hope they like Pacco Raban and a big .............

plate of Pumpkin scones just like me old Aunty Flo used to make" said El Ratsack and quickly slapped his hand to his mouth

 

He had inadvertantly (big word - means stuffed up :uhoh2:) let the family secret out

 

"Did anyone notice" he thought, "Maybe I can................

 

 

[Tomo]

... cover up my 'out spoken' mistake (not that there is anything wrong with that), boy, am I going to get it now...

 

"Specially since Punkin head canvas duds are going to be there," said Slarti who had slunk down in the back ground.

 

"What on earth does that have to do with this conversation?" asked the Rat

 

"To be Honest, I couldn't answer that one, but don't you reckon that big word from drummer Bryon is cool?!" "you know, that's a jolly (for you cam) good effort for a thumper an all"

 

As an aside note, if any of you even try to touch my mum, you'll have a ton a bricks to contend with....

 

Gees he doesn't muck around said someone in the back ground...

 

 

[planedriver]

if any of you even try to touch my mum[/b], you'll have a ton a bricks to contend with....

Gees he doesn't muck around said someone in the back ground...

No worries there Tomo, us gentleman of the forum, will take care of that in your absence, for sure.

 

Decca is ok too, don't worry about what others may say. If he offers to give your mum a glass of red to be friendly, he's only bragging and wants to show off a special aviation corkscrew which someone gave him for Christmas. So even a a couple of glasses there's no chance that anything can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong!

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Look Tomo:exclamation:" Exclaimed socklockjock, "There's an aeroplane!"

 

"See Dika! Told you it wouldn't be hard to distract him :roflmao:and then he'd leave his poor mum to the mercy of the rogues gallery." :bmwrider:

 

DitDah, being a crafty young bugger :raise_eyebrow:, soon wised up to what ye olde pharts were up to. :ah_oh: "Oi!! bugger orff you lot!" he menaced as he quickly calculated the difference between a ton of bricks and a ton of tomos.

 

"Oh look it's Matt H" :heart: snickered Darkcastic...

 

(instead of just reading and saying nothing....:DirtDOG:)

 

 

[Tomo]

Mmmm is all that came out of ditdo's mouth as he stuffed the hotties in....

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

Mmmm is all that came out of ditdo's mouth as he stuffed the hotties in....

"Careful Ditdah" warned Ahlo, "If you eat too many of those you won't fit in Matt H's plane and will have to..."

 

 

[Tomo]

...go with darky instead...

 

 

[planedriver]

...go with darky instead...

Darky's Mum says "Hey Tomo, you know that ton of bricks you were saving on your Mum's behalf. Just make sure that I don't have to borrow them":hittinghead::hittinghead::hittinghead:

 

 

[Captain]

... As an aside note, if any of you even try to touch my mum, you'll have a ton a bricks to contend with.......

"I think it is only fair" said Ratsack "That the NES contributors appoint some responsible individual as a chaperone for Mrs Tomo's Mum and I herewith call for nominations."

 

I favour and nominate sloppybuttcrack, as he has had a fair bit of experience with women (having had a tonne of bricks dropped on him a few times) and is sure to know what to do, and it will give him another person to take another photo (that will make 476) of his brown pussy in all positions.

 

But who will Chaperone Tomo (there's a plane .............. and there's a plane .............. and there's a plane.............. and there's a plane.............. and there's a plane etc etc) and how will we know that Darky is safe? I know, we'll ............................

 

 

[planedriver]

As a quick diversion to the person nominated, together with his assistant, we wish to point out that with due consideration, the proposed cat photographer would not be a suitable applicant, and i'm sure no offence was intended in suggesting so.

 

He would be too busy photographing Cheeta's,Tigers and the like. (Phew!! Captain you owe me, for saving some bacon to go with your eggs in the morning).

 

Would you like some french-fries with that order Sir, or, maybe a couple of hash-browns?.

 

Meanwhile, with a sobering thought, the story follows that............

 

 

[ahlocks]

...go with darky instead...

Darks could barely contain the excitement :ecstatic:of collaring DitDah for her first Pax flight.

 

"Watch this O'Dalby!" she giggled :devil:, as she flung the Jab's control stick hard over and kicked in a boot full of rudder. DitDah's customary grin :big_grin: began to turn :raise_eyebrow: to a grimace as the harness straps bit into his shoulders. :ah_oh: The Jabby creaked in protest as the g forces built, but Darks was on the ball. :thumb_up:

 

Noting her passengers nervousness :rolleyes1:, she skilfully brought the throttle back from full noise and slowed the aircraft to a speed that he might find more comfortable. :broken_heart:

 

"Right!" she said with great aplomb. :spruce_up: "Now, just remind me...

 

..which runway we are taxying to"....

 

=============

 

Legal disclaimer:

 

The above yarn implies no resemblance to the actual flying skills of Ms D Sarcasm.

 

'cuz if it does, we're all gunna be in a world of hurt when she gets cut loose.

 

 

[Tomo]

....well considering we only have one runway to choose from, I think you'll be able to think of that yourself (not that there is anything wrong with that). Wait till we get to Temora, we have to go half way through the alphabet before we get there...

 

But Ms Darky, having come from a horse background, and knows a dressage training ring like the back of her hand. (did you know you teach the horse the alphabet ) fitted in straight away, and said "we'll head down this way.......

 

"You know this toy Jabiru is pretty cool hey... I reckon we should do this more often..."

 

 

[Captain]

....well considering we only have one runway to choose from, I think you'll be able to think of that yourself (not that there is anything wrong with that). Wait till we get to Temora, we have to go half way through the alphabet before we get there...

 

But Ms Darky, having come from a horse background, and knows a dressage training ring like the back of her hand. (did you know you teach the horse the alphabet ) fitted in straight away, and said "we'll head down this way.......

 

"You know this toy Jabiru is pretty cool hey... I reckon we should do this more often..."

 

.... however Darky was billing in 6 minute increments, like they teach all good Legal Eagles in the Legal Eagle hatchery, and she handed Tomo a bill of $2,489.67, (BUT SAY $2,400.00) for their taxi to the runway.

 

"I don't have any money on me" said Tomo "Can I work it out?"

 

"OK" responded the Dark-one "You can .....................

 

 

[planedriver]

.... "I don't have any money on me" said Tomo "Can I work it out?"

 

"OK" responded the Dark-one "You can .....................

Avail yourself to use our own financial services, and pay it off at 27 3/4% interest calculated monthly, with a personal interaction with either myself or my secretary to keep you advised of the balance outstanding, after each payment.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin: It naturally follows, that we do not work hard for nothing, so this will attract a monthly advisory fee, plus administration costs, etc;

 

"Tee Hee" she thought to herself, I'll soon have enough to buy that blue Gazzelle.

 

So being considered a valued friend, you should have it payed off comfortably before you retire:ah_oh:

 

Tomo thought to himself "O ,and felt :broken_heart:, how can I get out of this one"

 

 

[Captain]

Avail yourself to use our own financial services, and pay it off at 27 3/4% interest calculated monthly, with a personal interaction with either myself or my secretary to keep you advised of the balance outstanding, after each payment.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin: It naturally follows, that we do not work hard for nothing, so this will attract a monthly advisory fee, plus administration costs, etc; "Tee Hee" she thought to herself, I'll soon have enough to buy that blue Gazzelle.

 

So being considered a valued friend, you should have it payed off comfortably before you retire:ah_oh:

 

Tomo thought to himself "O ,and felt :broken_heart:, how can I get out of this one"

 

 

"You can trust me, Darky" said Tomo.

 

"Oh ........ that reminds me" answered Darky "You'll need to put your Trust Fund in my capable hands (they have taught her well)......... so bugger the Gazzzzellle and bring on a new Millllennniummmm."

 

"Oh, woe is me" pined Tomo "I wish I had just gone to the Gyro nationals instead."

 

"Now where is mum", he thought "As i haven't seen The Rat or Planey or Dickher, or worse still McSox-in-Jox and his fire hose are nowhere to be found, and everyone knows that HE can't be trusted if both hands aren't in sight. I hope that he hasn't opened the lock on mum's .........................

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

I hope that he hasn't opened the lock on mum's .........................

...bikkie barrel...

 

====

 

Darks is wondering if Ahlo has been secretly watching her fly...how else would he know about her taxiing skills??