The Never Ending Story

[Admin]

Ok, I have closed the poll - perhaps it may be time to conduct an in-depth analysis on the results

 

 

[Captain]

perhaps it may be time to conduct an in-depth analysis on the results

And here it is:

 

1 There remains a 50% chance (based on the popular vote) that DerringDooPete still does not exist.

 

2 It would be interesting to see how BigPete voted. Will you please put that fag out and extract that data from the poll, Ian.

 

3 Only 6 of the 2500 forum members give a rats about BigPete's status, so perhaps that biased sample have a disproportionate leaning towards the +ve.

 

But I am worne out from trying to find or expose ellusivePete, so back to the NES ....................................................

 

PS However, what about question 3 in post #333 ... as this is the riverland?

 

 

[BigPete]

Only 6 of the 2500 forum members give a rats about BigPete's status,

It seems that the gallant efforts of a dedicated few are not appreciated by the masses. sigh. :confused::confused:

 

Never have so many (ungrateful ), been entertained by so few tallented story tellers as in the NES.....:black_eye:

 

Might as well hang up the quill and go fishin'

 

Many thanks to:

 

The Captain :heart::heart:, a real funny guy (I love him in a very manly way) and there' s nothing wrong with that...:big_grin:

 

Planedriver :thumb_up: - a strong contributor, a real friend, I will miss him.....

 

PaleXXXX - A smoldering wit, with the heart of a lion, I hope to meet him one day....:thumb_up:

 

I'llSellMyNanaIan - The glue and inspiration to us all - where would we be without him........

 

Geoff (the white knight, who tried to rescue BigPete) - a late player and a true friend........:thumb_up:

 

To all the others - who may have fallen by the wayside - I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say - thanks for the memories and your contribution to the NES.

 

Farewell dear players - farewell

 

Regards

 

FadingAwayPete. :yuk:

 

Is this the end? - will HeartBrokenPete hang up his keyboard for ever?

 

Will the Captain, PaleXXXX, PlaneDriver and all the others go without a fight.

 

We could ask for your help, but statistics tell us there are only two of you out there.

 

 

[Admin]

This from our News Desk...Late Breaking News

 

[ATTACH]6485.vB[/ATTACH]

 

Reporter: Fred Nerk

 

Australian Correspondent

 

WOW, there has been a late surge of forum members throwing their weight behind "The BigPete" in support of his continuing growth of fun at Recreational Flying. The Poll is now showing nearly 2,300 members are in full support of "The BigPete".

 

There was initial speculation questioning the very existence of "The BigPete" which has now been proven by overwhelming support that "The BigPete" does in fact exist.

 

"Where does it all end" the question was asked by the many followers of The Never Ending Story and it was even suggested that "The BigPete" stand for Prime Minister in the next elections. His dedicated team of "The Riverland Girl", "LittlePete" and the macca Dropping Jaba would stand fast and support "The BigPete's" stand for the top job. Afterall, it was exclaimed there isn't anyone in the job at the moment anyway.

 

Stay tuned as more late breaking news comes to hand on this evolving story.

 

 

 

[Captain]

Personally, I prefer feelingviolatedPete, who appeared briefly in post # 329. (How sad is it when one still laughs at one's own jokes?)

 

 

 

But "AHA" said the Skipper.

 

 

 

"I have now noticed that either AdminIan or SlartiButtCrack have doctored the poll and have allowed more votes (in the +ve) than there are forum members".

 

 

 

"How do yez ever expect to be elected to the Board when you doctor the poll like that?" said the Kapten (and he isn't referring to a vasectomy in Warsaw).

 

 

 

"Alternatively, that is an eminent qualification to lead us on to further glory"

 

 

 

But just then slightlywanxxxxxxx and planey burst thru the batwing doors and said "................................................

 

 

[planedriver]

"I have now noticed that either AdminIan or SlartiButtCrack have doctored the poll and have allowed more votes (in the +ve) than there are forum members".

"How do yez ever expect to be elected to the Board when you doctor the poll like that?" said the Kapten (and he isn't referring to a vasectomy in Warsaw).

 

"Alternatively, that is an eminent qualification to lead us on to further glory"

 

But just then slightlywanxxxxxxx and planey burst thru the batwing doors and said "................................................

But surely, it would seem that OneunglowPee--t seems to have a bit of a lopsided account of the facts.

 

Judging by the "bodgy" results, one can but wonder, whether the bean counter blokes connected with the poll (who must all play violins), accompanied him to visit the nurse with cold hands at the unstated establishment in Melbourne, (or was it Warsaw).

 

If this was not the case, surely, there would have to be a more balanced, "unfiddled" outcome of the figures.

 

Maybe PlaneXXXX with his ear to the ground, being a fair man, can sus out whether there has been any collusion between the parties?????

 

As BigPete bids us all farewell , dont worry about holding your breath folks, cos i'm sure the bugger will come back to haunt us from the other side. (hopefully)

 

P.S. Never before in hundreds of post's, have I seen so many complimentary remarks about the main players, which instigates a severe case of suspicion:confused::confused::confused:

 

There would have to be a good explanation for this somewhere, but it cetainly did'nt show up in a Google search.

 

Kind Regards

 

SinceretothecorePlanedriver

 

 

[BigPete]

But just then slightlywanxxxxxxx and planey burst thru the batwing doors and said "................................................

While we wait for our Dynamia Duo to enter and save the day - I'll make one last comment. i_dunno

 

HumblePete :) is overwhelmed to think that I'veGotItComeAndBuyItIan would risk his reputation and good looks to try so desperatley to bolster DepresivePete's :yuk: feelings. Your a good man I'mBustin'ForAFagIan :thumb_up: (cigarette that is) but I'm afraid you've upset the Captain by fixing the polls. :broken_heart::broken_heart:

 

Ah well - where's that fishin' rod.........

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[BigPete]

Bugga :big_grin: - Gazumped again. post number #357 wasn't there 5 minutes ago!

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Admin]

Come on guys...everyone...join in - this is just fun - you can say just about anything (rephrase:"almost...anything") here in the never ending story...even just add a one liner (words that is, not ocean) before we all head for Beverly Hills...hillbilly's

 

Please keep the Never Ending Story going, it brings a laugh to so many so the many should join in ........

 

 

[Guest Geoff1563861416]

Geoff the white knight, also fly’s to the rescue :rotary:of HeartBrokenPete:broken_heart: where's that fishin' rod you, “ need a long line to fish out of the Jab:hug: LowSlowPete”. Maybe the “Riverland Girl", is needed:angry: to help feelingviolated :yuk:Pete to keep the Never Ending Story going,???????????/

 

 

[planedriver]

While we wait for our Dynamia Duo to enter and save the day - I'll make one last comment. i_dunno

Told yer so!!!

 

DemTelPete, just like the infuriating ads on TV, says, "But wait, there's more. I'll make one last comment before I depart"

 

I'm sure my mother-in-law also sprays her jaw with WD40 each morning to keep it in fine fettle , while we discretely take the battery out of our hearing aids, and adopt a vague expression on our faces.:confused::confused::confused:.

 

While Geoff the White Knight???? seems to be organisng some sort of flying-fishing contest down the Murray, he must have missed the earlier post, which clearly stated that Pete had already caught the last pure Riverlad girl by the knickers, with his favorite deep-diving lure.

 

Maybe he's jealous that Pete now brags, with a pair of "frilly's" dangling from his flap lever, as well as Burger-Bomber of the month, certificates and limmo (can't see me now) tint, plastered all over his windows.

 

BustinforafagIan has been telling a few people on the quiet, that he's now taken to having the odd bit of old-fashioned snuff, because it does'nt harm your lungs:question:

 

Reality is, that its been noticed that he's been listening intently to all those ads that we keep being bombarded with, for that Nasal Technology Stuff, thats supposed to help you get an . (help put a smile on your face).;););)

 

Guru Swarmi Flyer posted over a week ago before going on a NAVEX to Siberia methinks? but as his tanks must now be down to the reserve, we're sure we'll all hear from him as soon as he lands.

 

You can bet your bottom dollar that his fettish for WPC Bronny Bishop the motorcycle cop is likely to feature somewhere in the post, even if he's just been "nicked" differently to OneunglowPete and the Merry Fidlers.:thumb_up:

 

Planey had a similar experience many years ago at the hands of a not-so-skilled surgeon. The knife slipped during the procedure and they wound up with a spare part which rolled across the floor and was lost.

 

Fearing litigation the surgeon replaced it with the first thing he could find--an onion!!!

 

A month later when he went for a follow-up visit and was asked how he was feeling, he replied "Can you explain why tears always roll down my cheeks when I go to the loo, and get real excited when I walk past the hot-dog stand?

[planedriver]

So glad to read that Pete does exist with 2,297 yes votes.

 

I must confess that I was the one, not sure vote, but am happy to be proved wrong yet again.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

He's probably slaving over the BBQ at the local CASA do right now, so if anyone sees him, tell him planey sends his regards :wave:and to save a snag for me.

 

Slarti is trying to stich-up a deal with CASA, RAA, SAAA and Airport closeure protest groups, for the sole rights for his new Slartigrille Catering Services and is considering franchising to interested parties.

 

Meanwhile...............

 

 

[Captain]

.........lowslowPete was just what his mate MilduGeoff calls him in private, and gramaticalclarificationPete was quick to point out that this name does not refer to his height or IQ, as he kept on fishing from his 160VictaQuinny.

 

But hang on.

 

That's not a fishing rod and line that lowslungPete is dangling.

 

"Jeeeez that water is cold" said slungslowPete.

 

"What breaking strain is that?" asked the Riverland Lass.

 

"It's a ........................................

 

 

[Flyer]

I dont know what it is but the tanks in the Texan are almost dry. Wow what a navex.

 

Almost Siberia but closer to Traralgon and Yarram.

 

Does the Craptain and Ivegotajabiru160pete as well as idriveaplanedriver and iveboofedmyplaneandhopeitsbeingfixedwellslarti ever see this part of the country?

 

No idea what this has got to do with the NES but the Guru Buggermetohismates and Bigjobs have got something to do with it.

 

Nice blokes down at Yarram even if the Flyer did get ticked off for not being on the right CTAF fequency

 

 

[Flyer]

and I still think the poll was rigged ...

 

 

[Captain]

Almost Siberia but closer to Traralgon and Yarram.Does the Craptain and Ivegotajabiru160pete as well as idriveaplanedriver and iveboofedmyplaneandhopeitsbeingfixedwellslarti ever see this part of the country?

 

No idea what this has got to do with the NES but the Guru Buggermetohismates and Bigjobs have got something to do with it.

 

Nice blokes down at Yarram even if the Flyer did get ticked off for not being on the right CTAF fequency

"I know Mehicko like the back of my head" said Crappy.

 

"And have landed in both Trarram & Yaralgon .... while getting both of their CTAF numbers in almost about the right order"

 

"For I am a highly professional amateur pilot" stated the Crappy .... "And if in doubt (or if I can't find my ERSA under the beer-cans and Macas packets) I always set it on good old 126.7 .... to make use of statistical probability just like the RPT pilots sometimes do"

 

"What do you do ............................

 

(This has been recorded under controlled conditions by trained poofessionals, and should not be tried by those with less skill or daring)

 

 

[BigPete]

Hello ze Mr Craptain - just a short note to let you know......

 

We have ze BigPete.

 

Or to be more accurate we have ze BigMouthWhoWontShutUpEvenToDrawBreathBigPete.

 

It was our original plan to hold him for a ransom of $100,000, after all, you fly boys must be stinkin' rich to own and fly your aeroplanes? No? ;)

 

Anyway Ve haf endured many, many, many hours listening to his exploits (both in the air and with shall we say a certain female known as the Riverland girl).

 

We are no strangers to pain, :yuk: :ah_oh: but may I say your GestapoKGBCIAPete is a master at inflicting ze mental anguish. Two of my hardest men are now crying and sniffling like ze big babies all because they didn't have enough sense not to listen to him. (Sacre Ble!)

 

Yesterday, ve decided that ve vould release him and put as much distance between him and ourselvzs as possible. thumb_down Ze StickyPete refused to leave us and is now busy with ze gaffer tape and a couple of old vacuum cleaners ve gave him to shut him up. (Although he does keep asking for a current weather forecast )

 

After doing ze quick whip around amongst ze boys :black_eye: I have managed to raise $1247.63 - would this be enough for the Bravehearted Captain :heart: to come and take ze I'mNotGoingAnyWhereYouFroggieBastardsBigPete away from us. Please say Yes - please - ve are at ze end of (how you say) ze rope.

 

From your friends the (Sadder and much Wiser) Murrembidgie Boyz

 

PS Vhat please is a zixpenze

 

 

[Flyer]

I told you we had ways to make you talk....

 

 

[Captain]

Hello ze Mr Craptain - just a short note to let you know......

We have ze BigPete.

 

Or to be more accurate we have ze BigMouthWhoWontShutUpEvenToDrawBreathBigPete.

 

It was our original plan to hold him for a ransom of $100,000, after all, you fly boys must be stinkin' rich to own and fly your aeroplanes? No? ;)

 

Anyway Ve haf endured many, many, many hours listening to his exploits (both in the air and with shall we say a certain female known as the Riverland girl).

 

We are no strangers to pain, :yuk: :ah_oh: but may I say your GestapoKGBCIAPete is a master at inflicting ze mental anguish. Two of my hardest men are now crying and sniffling like ze big babies all because they didn't have enough sense not to listen to him. (Sacre Ble!)

 

Yesterday, ve decided that ve vould release him and put as much distance between him and ourselvzs as possible. thumb_down Ze StickyPete refused to leave us and is now busy with ze gaffer tape and a couple of old vacuum cleaners ve gave him to shut him up. (Although he does keep asking for a current weather forecast )

 

After doing ze quick whip around amongst ze boys :black_eye: I have managed to raise $1247.63 - would this be enough for the Bravehearted Captain :heart: to come and take ze I'mNotGoingAnyWhereYouFroggieBastardsBigPete away from us. Please say Yes - please - ve are at ze end of (how you say) ze rope.

 

From your friends the (Sadder and much Wiser) Murrembidgie Boyz

 

PS Vhat please is a zixpenze

 

Dear Sadder und Veisser ..................... und good moaning,

 

 

 

Sorry cobbler.

 

 

 

Veee haffff hadd a caucus (This is not ze thing with the scchpines - it is like a meatingk) und while I wanted to accept your kind offer, Fryer, Planey, wanxxxxxxx, Ianzeboss, ScchhlartiLisasimpson, MildewGeoff and ze other 2346 forum members (und ze Riverland Lassie) have voted zat $1247.63 and/or an extra zac or two will not cut ze mustard (either German or hot english).

 

 

 

Many off us haff beeenn baddly effected by zose basstardos at Lehmannnnn Bros & Merrill bloooddddy Lynchthebastardsfromthetallesttree and we have decided zatt we need an offer above 125 souzand Euros be4 vee vill reconvene to conzider ziss again.

 

 

 

In zee meantimes it was suggested by one of our energy experts zat you could hook NevershutsupPete in front of a wind generator and at least he will be PayhiswayPete until youze can raise the dosh. Either that or have him inflate for BalloonsAloft under contract so that they vill save on gas and burners.

 

 

 

Where are you bastards from, though, as we can detect a hint of both German und French in zee accent?

 

 

 

R u perhaps Belgian? As ze Belchians have considerable expertise in zatt country (ooops - nearly spelt that wrong & vood haff gott banded) off keeping people (und Petes) in ze cellar. WE suggest zat you do ze same.

 

 

 

Good luck to your familiy

 

 

 

Crappy

 

 

 

PS Thanks sport ..... and sorry we can't get you off the hook, but a great sigh of reliefe went around our meetingk and I am bound by those minutes. Suggest you do the same with Pete.

 

 

 

And out of great simpathy veee are sending more thousandmileanhourtape by express post.

 

 

 

Sorry

 

 

 

Yipppee

 

 

 

[planedriver]

and out of great simpathy veee are sending more thousandmileanhourtape by express post.

While the Captains generous nature is to provide a free supply of thousandmileanhourtape, PopmyheadupPete actually had his head down working hard on the development of the GodfreyPete suknblow powerplant.

 

The plan is to Gaffatape the unit between the undercarriage legs of his J160, because (unlike some we hear about), his aircraft has a nice painted finish which is too good to spoil.

 

The inverter he knocked off from Slarti's caravan seems unable to provide sufficient power, so until he discovers something better, he'll have to plug it directly into a 240v socket.

 

This explains why he was spotted at Bunnings yesterday with a ute full of red and yellow power cords which they had on special.

 

With all these joined end to end, connecting the powerplant to the socket in the clubhouse loo, he figures he should then be able to get maximum power for take off.

 

The plan is to use a big cable drum (also knocked off, this time from the Optus Cable layout) placed in the middle of the field, and to fly numerous tighter and tighter circuits untill he runs out of cable:yuk:.

 

This way he hopes to finally prove to all those doubting bastards out there, that he really is the one and only IcanlandonasixpencePete;););), including the trendy TexanFlyer who seemed to have some doubts.:hittinghead:

 

 

[Captain]

Hello ze Mr Craptain - just a short note to let you know......

We have ze BigPete.

 

CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE

 

 

 

 

Ssssshhhh

 

 

 

Hang in there prisonerPete.

 

 

 

I am reliably informed that a Schlepsev Storch is being prepared as we speak and will undertake a rescue mission that recreates the one where they rescued what's-his-name from the thingamegig castle during WW2.

 

 

 

Sit quietly, think of England (or Echuca), don't touch yourself, don't let the bedbugs bite and the rescue team will be there as soon as the weather clears.

 

 

 

The Rescue Coordinator

 

Echuca SES-pit

 

PS Are you OK about being rescued by a 912 powered aircraft or do you want us to take it out of the Schlepy and put in a 3300?

 

 

 

PPS If only BigPete were here, as he is also lionheartedPete & could land his 160 on a zac or a tray-bit in that castle courstyard and you'd be out by now. Then incarseratedPete would be freeasabirdPete.

 

 

 

[BigPete]

Be very carefull Captain :heart: - I fear there is a double agent somewhere in our midst who is known to both of us :confused: - the question is, who is it

 

Trust nobody - especially those people that fly metal aeroplanes, :devil: for they are not transparent like us plastic fantastic flyers (and I hear that this spy is not so good with landings...). :ah_oh:

 

You may well be flying into a trap. :black_eye: I have seen the guards (these guys are uglier than your sister :yuk: ) and I fear they may know about your heroic rescue attempt. :thumb_up:

 

I suggest a cunning diversion - they seem most interested in Bronwyn how you say with ze big work orders. Sorry about that - the way they talk is quite infectious - reminds me of someone.....:heart:

 

The best time to attack would be early morning ;) as they seem to have a huge supply of wine (I think it gets air freighted in at night ) and are quite hungover at breakfast. :yuk::yuk:

 

I think I saw the double agent yesterday :ah_oh: - I didn't get to see his face but he was a mean SOB :devil: - one of the guards lit up a cigarette and he just went ballistic, I mean really nasty, threatened to ban him, whatever that means.

 

Can you bring 400 golf balls with you when you come. I will explain later....:big_grin::big_grin:

 

signed UnderCoverPete.

 

 

[Flyer]

The Guru (thats Guru Swami buggermetohismates or Guru Swami Imallrightthanksjack-gee to everyone else) was going to provide enlightenment to the guards while Bronwyn Bigjobs readied her big jobs to cause even more of a diversion. Damn ex pollies, do anything for notariety.

 

Hang in there Big Pete, the Sloppy Stork is comin' to getcha ... just dont get caught up in the distractions...

 

 

[planedriver]

Be very carefull Captain :heart: - I fear there is a double agent somewhere in our midst who is known to both of us :confused: - the question is, who is it

Can you bring 400 golf balls with you when you come. I will explain later....:big_grin::big_grin:

 

signed UnderCoverPete.

Sounds to me like PoorprisonerPete is right in the poo this time:sad:, and desperately needs help:crying:.

 

On one hand, he is desperate to escape from captivity:thumb_up:, but on the other hand, is very aware that there is a double agent :cool:somewhere in his midst and is unsure who to trust:question:.

 

Could it be that the Captain in whom he seems to be placing his trust, is actually the dreaded German spy CapitanVonCastrate, as he uses such strange words as Zee, vee and vould, etc?:confused::confused::confused: and may wind up hanging him by the b:censored:lls?

 

All this talk about being rescued by an aircraft with a name like a Storch sounds very sus, especially as it's powered by an Austrian engine built by people who spreken ze doitch.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

 

This being a delicate, hush hush, covert rescue operation, Pete would have to rule out assistance from the Flyer, even though his aircraft is the preferred plastic fantastic type, simply because its a Texan, and he'd be sure to rock up with an (out of tune) brass band, and hundreds of big-boobed cheerleaders:clap: in cowboy hats swinging silly tassled battons.:thumb_up::star:thumb_down..

 

Maybe he could put his trust in Douglas (tin legs) Bada's mate, Pommy (knackerd knee) Planedriver, who'd scab a Lysander for a couple of hours, and has a pile of Woolies fuel dockets and could fuel it up on the cheap:question: After all, he also has a book titled "The Idiots Guide to flying a Lysander" which he bought at a church fete for ninepence and he could read it on the way, while the Guru distracts the guards with very explicit descriptions of Bronwin's famous endowments.

 

The big dilemma is, who should he trust?, but DemtelPete true to form says "wait, there's more, dont forget I mentioned the 400 golf balls" and all the would be rescuers, were still at a loss to know what they are for:question:.

 

 

[Captain]

Could it be that the Captain in whom he seems to be placing his trust, is actually the dreaded German spy CapitanVonCastrate, as he uses such strange words as Zee, vee and vould, etc?:confused::confused::confused: and may wind up hanging him by the b:censored:lls?

Well that's nice, that is, eh by gumm. There is one mention of a spy and planey turns on his mate Crappy. Now I know how all those poor Britons felt who jumped ship and went to Russia after the hot war.

 

 

 

The reason that there are so many Zees and voulds in my recent post is that I accidentally used the French & German pidgeon spell-checks instead of the good old FNQ Skippy one .....EH?.

 

 

 

Now spycatcherPete. I really don't think that SlartiLisaslow could be a SlartiMatta-Hari as he seems to be such a nice bloke with all the normal Aussie foibles, although some have commented in several recent PM's that since assuming power on the forums he is wearing a pale blue uniform and getting the girls to call him Herman.

 

 

 

I reserve my decision on this as most metal aircraft owners are a bit strange and prone to espionage .....or is that empenage (how do you actually spell that bit at the back)?

 

 

 

Will all forum members keep an eye on Slartibartcrack and let us know if you see him anywhere around the ASIO building (or the Sex Shops) out there in the suburbs in Canberra.

 

 

 

Hang in there balllessPete. Why do you need 400 new ones? How many can they cut off, anyway?

 

 

 

Your friend Crappy