The Never Ending Story

[Tomo]

.....because jabiru wings are soooooooo slippery the clamps just won't hold...

 

"but then again if you mount it on the flaps, you could have trim"? (And electric!!!) :thumb_up: Ditdo had to contain himself from yelling 'Eureka' through the CWA joint (that means 'establishment' for you uneducated people)

 

"Well you do have a........

 

 

[Captain]

Tomo DaVinci had to give away the idea of 500 horses of pure diesel power in the Drifter, and just left it in the path of the oncoming DarkVarder.And just as well it wasn't fitted to the Drifter, for the Planner had calculated that the tail moment had moved aft 1,100metres. Tomo that's like trying to fit 10 outboards to the trailing edge of a Jabiru wing! You wouldn't be able to...........

 

...... make the most of the fine aeronautic qualities of that 120. With those 10 outboards hang'n off the back, it'd fly more like a Gazelle ...................... with a Lioness hang'n off its back leg."

 

"What do you reckon is behind Tomo's unhealthy compulsion about Diesels?" asked MrH, who had, in a previous life, sampled the erotic pleasures of self combustion.

 

"I don't rightly know" responded Goldy "But could it have something to do with a straw, a cane toad, and a ..................

 

 

[planedriver]

...... With those 10 outboards hang'n off the back, it'd fly more like a Gazelle ...................... and look like a ........

Tuppaware Bristol Brabazon

 

"Yea Sure"! came the reply, "I learned all about Bristols when I went to high school, because they liked students to keep abreast of developments, and we noticed that they certainly were";)

 

VictuallerPete was doing a great job for the Natfy attendees, in trying to procure the services of the infamous, long-lost, much-missed, Red-Runner FriarPuk. "I'm coming then" said the 727 engineer, would'nt miss his drop for quids.

 

You can stick your Grange Hermitage he said, a mate of mine at Ansett and I used to mix it with Jet A1 and it was the best drop, but unfortunately it used to give you a bad case of wind.

 

Last time we had a drinking session, I phoned him the following morning enquiring if he he had a hangover? No, he replied. Did it give you wind though?

 

Not wrong there came the reply:angry:, sure did. I'll be late in this morning as i'm now in Perth.

 

Sounds a great party mix said the young Queenslander. I rekon if I mix it with a drop of diesel though, it'll also get me half way home as well, at a fraction of the price.

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... could it have something to do with a straw, a cane toad, and a ..................

... legal student doing laser surgery on the eyes of next Femme' fatale :spruce_up: that looks her quarry's way. :bitehard:

 

"A girl needs to be diverse" shrugged Darksvader :patch:, as she amused herself etching 'fly it like you stole it' tags on the surrounding buildings with her lightsabre.....

 

===============

 

Bugga!...Gazumped by Planey!

 

 

[planedriver]

... Bugga!...Gazumped by Planey!

Sorry mate!

 

As Ahlocksocks is always turned on by diverse females, he was absolutely incessed about being given the oportunity to see these etchings, whether they're on a wall, or, a RF post:yikes:

 

 

[planedriver]

Chomping at the bit, NotsoLuckyLocks is still waiting for a positive responce from the much younger SabreFlasher.But to overcome the remote possibility of being "stood up" he...................

 

 

[Captain]

Chomping at the bit, NotsoLuckyLocks is still waiting for a positive responce from the much younger SabreFlasher.But to overcome the remote possibility of being "stood up" he...................

..... offered to fill in as the CEO of the RAA, while also offering to take over one of the Forums at Natfly with a lecture on how to pick locks in less than 3 hours, all while standing on one leg with his hand on his ........................

 

 

[ahlocks]

...IV that was mainlining Chloral Hydrate in an effort to make his posts more simple to understand.

 

"Jeeze Plainey, that's harsh!" protested sedatedlock :black_eye: as he slowly understood the jibe. :ah_oh:

 

"But if I was turned on(1) :Disappointed: by diverse blokes :rolleyes1: (not that there's anything wrong with that) I'd be inclined to poke me own eyes out with a laser sword." he reasoned :ne_nau: as his thoughts drifted off to contemplate whether the RAAus CEO's job would be similar to herding cats....

 

==============

 

(1) Holders of Pfizer shares should not be concerned as sales of their little blue product will not be affected.

 

 

[Captain]

... he reasoned :ne_nau: as his thoughts drifted off to contemplate whether the RAAus CEO's job would be similar to herding cats....

 

 

"I wouldn't mind that RAA CEO's job. It would leave this mining caper for dead, and I'm a pussy herder from way-back." thought the Rat "Just think about all that money, all of the kudos, the high regard in which all fellow aviators would then hold me, all of the long boozy lunches with those jovial tricksters from CASA and AirServices, the free plane that is a perk, the ability to clamp down on any member that doesn't toe the line or laugh at my stupid tired jokes, and all of the .................

 

 

[planedriver]

" the ability to clamp down on any member that doesn't toe the line or laugh at my stupid tired jokes, and all of the .................

Ho! Ho! Ho! :big_grin:

 

At least that should count me in.

 

 

 

[Captain]

Ho! Ho! Ho! :big_grin:At least that should count me in.

 

 

"On ya Planey" said El Rateo the CEO (glint, glint) "Do you want to be my Ops Mgr, the Auditor or do you want to hold all moneys in your own personal account for safe keeping."

 

"What about me, Ratso me old mate" yelled McJock "I could .............

 

 

[ahlocks]

..."be in charge of regulations :lost:and other obscure and cryptic texts!!!" he effused. :ecstatic:as the The olde guarde considered the implications of the new improved executive team.

 

All round ambassador :ilmostro: for the rabble, lady killa, and New president elect, finalised the staff selection and duties....

 

 

[Guest Decca]

"......be the keeper of the keys, and bathplug of the realm! A Fisher of men My Lord." said Lockjocks. Meanwhile Planey was having difficulty making a decision, eventually deciding "I'll take all three Skipper", he said in a decisive sort of fashion.

 

DarkVader put its sabre up to run the Jabiru Farm, Destiny wanted the rain to stop so he could bale hay, Powering wanted more of a say on the NES, Smiley wanted the diesel development factory and lots of other stuff like........

 

 

[Captain]

"......be the keeper of the keys, and bathplug of the realm! A Fisher of men My Lord." said Lockjocks. Meanwhile Planey was having difficulty making a decision, eventually deciding "I'll take all three Skipper", he said in a decisive sort of fashion.

DarkVader put its sabre up to run the Jabiru Farm, Destiny wanted the rain to stop so he could bale hay, Powering wanted more of a say on the NES, Smiley wanted the diesel development factory and lots of other stuff like........

"That's done then" said RatCeo "We have a platform, we are a block and we are a Team. Now all remember that there is no "I" in "Team" but there is an "eam".

 

"Yes Sir, mein Kapitan" they all said as they klicked their heals.

 

"Now ........ Team Member Jocks, write a few new regs that allow 70 knot stall and 200 knot Vne so that I can get my Lancair 19 registered, Team Member Planey - go spend some money on something useful and audit yourself, Team Mamber Decc's - put your feet up on the desk and be an active Flight Engineer again, I'm off to a boozie lunch with the boss of CASA and the Minister, so I'll see yez in the morning when we can ....................

 

My Aunt reckons that all this Team Member stuff sound a bit like the phone messages on the PA at Bunnings

 

 

[Powerin]

"That's done then" said RatCeo "We have a platform, we are a block and we are a Team. Now all remember that there is no "I" in "Team" but there is an "eam".

"Yes Sir, mein Kapitan" they all said as they klicked their heals.

 

"Now ........ Team Member Jocks, write a few new regs that allow 70 knot stall and 200 knot Vne so that I can get my Lancair 19 registered, Team Member Planey - go spend some money on something useful and audit yourself, Team Mamber Decc's - put your feet up on the desk and be an active Flight Engineer again, I'm off to a boozie lunch with the boss of CASA and the Minister, so I'll see yez in the morning when we can ....................

...restock the RAAus shelves with regulatory paperwork.

 

The PA came to life again...."Team Member Lochs to aisle 42, rubber hoses....customer needs...."

 

 

[Captain]

Team Member Lochs ran back to the customers after grabbing their hoses. The three Beercans were relieved to have Locks' help on this quickie to the Hardware section.

"Why thankyou, GoldiLocks!" the three Beercans cheered,

 

"What are you going to use them for, just incase I could recommend you something else!" GoldiLocks exclaimed!

 

"Well, I wish we could say Fighting Fires and being all Heroic and all, but no, we need them to replace the fuel lines in our aircraft! It's experimental!" The Beercans said enthuastically... "The Rego is India Delta Kilo incase you see it flying and want to come for a ride!" One added...

 

..... "It is great to see fresh meat in the NES, as it gives more people that we can pick on, and when they are pretty new, they walk into a few of our set-up lines " said Turbo (who is still missing, but that shouldn't stop the NES from sticking it up him).

 

"Now hang on there Tubby!!" responded the rodentous Skipper with an extra exclamation mark!! Powewin can be the team Member in charge of RAA Field Days (a little Henty in-joke), and cameron will be responsible for the 93 extra clerical staff at RAA, so that no member will ever again need to be abusive or wait to be attended to."

 

Ever the opportunist, Turbo yelled "Do any of you female clerical staff, who have nothing to do, want to come to lunch on my expense account?"

 

91 responded in the affirmative (but we still need 'em).

 

"What do you do here Tubbs?" asked a young impressionable Clerical staffer.

 

"I am responsible for designing the new RAA range of fashion clothing and accessories for the hersuit new CEO. The theme will be .......................

 

 

[Tomo]

....interesting". (to say the least) {not that there is anything wrong with that}

 

Ditdo is feeling quite depressed (compressed? ).... about being left out of the teamy CEO talk.

 

"Me thinks me make good test pilooot" :thumb_up: Mumbled the Stretch as he straightens out the landing leg...

 

 

[Captain]

....interesting". (to say the least) {not that there is anything wrong with that}

Ditdo is feeling quite depressed (compressed? ).... about being left out of the teamy CEO talk.

 

"Me thinks me make good test pilooot" :thumb_up: Mumbled the Stretch as he straightens out the landing leg...

"Thanks for volunteering, young Sapian" was the RatCeo's immediate response. "You will be in charge of testing aircraft landing gear, however I remain concerned that 89 of our clerical staff may not be safe in the hands of a "Young Enthusiast" as they will be susceptible to your boyish charms and your manish ................

 

 

[Guest Decca]

"Captain Ratceo" said Bryonski, "I move a mo..., er I move a mo... I move we open a position called 'Test Pilot' for Smiley, so long as he passes a spell test & can spell 'pilot', & knows which leg he's stretching.

 

Signed Bryonski????

 

 

[Captain]

"Captain Ratceo" said Bryonski, "I move a mo..., er I move a mo... I move we open a position called 'Test Pilot' for Smiley, so long as he passes a spell test & can spell 'pilot', & knows which leg he's stretching.

Signed Bryonski????

 

"Too right" chorused the Clerical Staff "As there are motions all over the joint in this office at the moment and they need to be cleaned up before one of us needs to answer the phone again."

 

"I nearly tripped over one on my way outside for a fag (not that there is anything wrong with that, as we have a gay-friendly policy) so I will volunteer to do that" said ....................

 

 

[Captain]

"And Darky" El CEO piped up "How about taking up a position as the Team Member Barister & as our General Council (so there is no need to do any more study or finish your course), we'll have a merry old time, and you can also pick up the reins to apply "The Force" where necessary and if any members play up, you can find them guilty without the expense of a hearing and then use your light-sabre to good effect by cutting off their ..............

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

"And Darky" El CEO piped up "How about taking up a position as the Team Member Barister & as our General Council (so there is no need to do any more study or finish your course), we'll have a merry old time, and you can also pick up the reins to apply "The Force" where necessary and if any members play up, you can find them guilty without the expense of a hearing and then use your light-sabre to good effect by cutting off their ..............

Sure, but better add another R into BarRister, 'cos otherwise I'm your resident coffee-maker and unless you want to die of food poisoning, that isn't a good move...

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Did someone say Caffeine?!" enquired CyptoLoch :raise_eyebrow: as he took a break from drafting the new regs. "How's this for start he asked the new CEO.

 

Rule 1 "Every flight must include the exclaimation "Gee whizz this is fun!" :thumb_up:

 

Rule 2 "Refer to rule 1 before venting spleen :ace:about trivial matters."

 

"And by the way skipper, "we need to a (NES)ASIC check on the new test pilot candidate. A wire tap has revealed he's contemplating getting an escort(1) for his trip down to Natfly... with his mum ...

 

===========

 

(1) reckon you can guess where this ones going...

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Hello, Dalby Escorts.."

 

"G'day, :big_grin: I'm flyin' down to Temora with me mum :heart: for the weekend :thumb_up: and I need an escort :DevilDog:for the trip." :big_grin:

 

"Really! :raise_eyebrow: so what do you have in mind, sir?"

 

"Well, I was thinking of big hefty ones with machine guns and helicopters for a couple of days.." :thumb_up:

 

"Oh! that might be a little difficult to organise on short notice sir,....

 

..could I interest you in our half hour special with Roseanne:spruce_up: in a maid's outfit instead?"

 

DitDah Blushed, almost stopped grinning, and realised that ....

 

 

[Captain]

"Did someone say Caffeine?!" enquired CyptoLoch :raise_eyebrow: as he took a break from drafting the new regs. "How's this for start he asked the new CEO.

Rule 1 "Every flight must include the exclaimation "Gee whizz this is fun!" :thumb_up:

 

Rule 2 "Refer to rule 1 before venting spleen :ace:about trivial matters."

 

"I have a suggested edit there JockStrap, and that is "Rule 3 - Each pilot is to tighten his seatbelt, firewall the throttle, turn to his passenger and say those words that all copilots dread ..... "Watch this"."

 

"Then we'll get a cup of caffeine from DarkCoffee" said Tubbo 'And we'll ..................