The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

With the Nanna she's a very experienced woman, but with the other one, i'd always be worrying where my keys were, in case her offspring tried to take off with me beloved Storch, which he probably would, just to get another aircraft type on his avitar.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

 

So, dear reader, it has now been established (for Planey would never lie) that Tomo the Aviation Enthusiast will put his lovely Mum in jeapardy just to get another knotch on his gun, another aircraft on his avatar and another photo for his album.

 

This is a very sorry State of Affairs (sounds like Queens Land on the Gold Coast) and is it any wonder that the DarkStar just checks out the NES but has reduced her participation rate. A very wise forum member, that, of the female persuasion.

 

"Now hang on there" said .............

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Now hang on there" said .............

..Darkstar, legal eaglet to the clouds (well, it can't be 'to the stars' :ne_nau:, 'cuz she's not legal above 5000 feet ) "If you lot start, I'll go all habeas corpus on yoh asses." :DirtDOG:

 

"Uggerbay emay!" exclaimed Locks :raise_eyebrow:, in the closest thing he knew to latin in an effort to sound edumacated. "What's that all mean?" he asked.

 

"Habeas is a legal term confuse you lot" continued Darkstar menacingly :patch:, "And corpus is what you'll end up being:vis: if you try anything on...

 

==================

 

The Darks' secret is safe, for the moment, in the garden.....

 

tee hee! - (chat room term...)

 

 

[Captain]

..The Darks' secret is safe, for the moment, in the garden.....

 

"So" said my Aunt "The Lightsabre of the DarkDeathStar is in the garden eh?"

 

"Yes it is" said the modern J120 hiring equivalent of Luke SkyWalker.

 

"In the garden, definitely she is" responded YodaLocks.

 

"A cute sort of Gruntsound and a head twist" answered Wookybartfast.

 

"And she is a ..........

 

 

[Captain]

Where do all that hard work go-ti?

 

 

[ahlocks]

I thinks I got moderated....:raise_eyebrow:

 

Let's try again and see what happens... (might see you in a couple of days..)

 

"And she is a ..........

..wonderful gardener too." added his Aunt as she lovingly :face and heart: brushed a cheese crumb from her errant nephew's :patch: whiskers.

 

"I saw her whirling, ducking and weaving :jump:with that glow in the dark stick ( ) and offered her some money to prune down that grevillea thicket while she was at it.

 

"Now finish your Earl Grey dear, and go see if you can entice her to speak... ( )

 

 

[Captain]

"Now finish your Earl Grey dear, and go see if you can entice her to speak... ( )

"I shall take the soft and gentle approach with the Sarcastic one this time" whispered The Rat, at which time he stood up, breathed in, sucked in his stomch, puffed out his chest, got a cramp and yelled in his biggest bravest voice "SPEAK, blast ya DARKY, SPEAK".

 

To which she replied ".......................

 

 

[Tomo]

....."In silence I am, and In silence I remain...."

 

The statement caught The Rat off guard so much he tripped over his own thought....

 

 

[turboplanner]

but for how many seconds

 

 

[planedriver]

....."In silence I am, and In silence I remain...."

The statement caught The Rat off guard so much he tripped over his own thought....

and burst into song:robin::guitarist::musicboohoo:singing "Sweet Violets, Sweeter than all the roses, i'm covered all over from head to foot, covered all over in s--- (Sweet Violets)

 

A well known song from the geriatrics song book.

 

Sorry Tomo, it's pre Doof Door beat.

 

 

[planedriver]

Meanwhile, The Captain takes a shower and spruces himself up :spruce_up::spruce_up::spruce_up: to maintain the sweet-smelling image of the forums hot contender in the "Lady-Killer :face and heart:Contest".

 

Thats B.S.:DirtDOG: responded the Locksmith. I served a five year apprentiship, studying hard how to pick locks on chastity belts. And if I say so myself, became quite a dab hand at it.

 

The last thing I need, is some bloke coming along dressed to the nine's:ilmostro:, wooing the ladies on bended knee:no no:, flashing his smile:big_grin: and whatever else he deems fit , just to pull a few votes and get one over me.

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Lunge, thrust, slicey dicey!" Darksabre muttered :Disappointed: as she swirled around and edged toward the hibiscus and closer to the gala event that was unfolding. :encore:

 

"... Just ONE WORD about a certain chat room confession :patch: and I'll reach down their nostrils and rip their lungs out..." :baldy: she quietly promised herself as she searched for PoweredUp, CoastyCam and the hairy Mentoratti. (:cool_shades:)

 

EmCee Planey :ilmostro: tapped the microphone to gather the crowd's attention for the start of the Lady Killa 2010 presentation...

 

 

[planedriver]

"EmCee Planey :ilmostro: tapped the microphone to gather the crowd's attention for the start of the Lady Killa 2010 presentation...

"Ladies and Gentleman please stand, I beg for your attention. Quiet please"

 

I care not, if the Real Queen starts her speech with "It gives my husband and I great pleasure" :thumb_up:

 

"Stop right there, Planey moderated":no no::no no::no no:.

 

Surely to God, ur not the only ones:question:

 

We'll not go there:yikes:.

 

I'm hanging on with my life for the Temora Moderator Positition bestowed upon me, and I will not allow it.

 

I don't give a stuff how many rocks you have in your hat.

 

You have to understand your Majesty, I will just not allow it.

 

On these forums we do not discuss our sex lives in public, because we are true gentleman!

 

With that firmly emplanted in your mind, please continue--------------

 

 

[planedriver]

" please continue--------------

Confusion abounds, about the true status of "The Lady Killer" Comp, due to the Royal Intervention posted by (we'll simply call him Richard Cranium:black_eye:).

 

However, one of the main contenders, Dikka ,and also his south-o-the border mate CharmemallPete, were lying low, because they'd possibly bribed the judges with a few kudos prior to the semi-finals drawing closer.

 

Frantic were they, to compete with the Captain who was immaculately dressed wearing a bow tie:ilmostro:, they wanted to go one better in the impresion stakes, that they were busy Googleing for a supplier of of bow-ties that started to spin once they shouted "Clear-Prop".

 

 

[ahlocks]

....With that firmly emplanted in your mind.

"Awww Yuk!" gagged locksock :yuk:, choking at the thought of that pair :queen::gerg: doing the horizontal mambo.

 

"It's working...number1.." the smooth and distinguished voice crackled into PlaneyEmCees' secret radio earpiece. (:ah_oh:)

 

"Now, keep them distracted while I work the crowd, :ilmostro: run a some checks on engine three then introduce myself :polite: to the cute redhead on the Rat's aunt's table.

 

With his spinning bow tie generating a breeze to waft his after shave toward his target , Dika glided through the audience in a symphony of suave...

 

 

[ahlocks]

...pink ones, that the coastie dude had left lying everywhere.

 

"Teenagers never pick up after themselves." :rolleyes1: complained the head waitress as she kicked another pair off into the scrub. :Disappointed: "...and that coastie is one for leaving feathers from his pink boa all over the place too....:cool_shades:

 

"Stall them a bit longer Planey.." Dika whispered into his cuff link mic, as moved among the ladies.

 

"And now ladies and gentlemen...:drums:" EmCeePlaney began his adlib to gain some more time for Dika to weave his charm among the the lovelies. :killen:

 

"Flown in direct from the Moruyah RSL ballroom , in his little sister's Sierra. ()

 

...a feast for the optic nerves and a treat for your tympanic membranes :confused:....

 

....It's the Camy la rue show ! ...:encore:

 

==============

 

Hmmph! "'tap shoes" :baldy:.... this'll teach him....:lol 8:

 

 

[Captain]

With that firmly emplanted in your mind---------

 

And in a fit of honesty, El Ratto needed to make a "spacewalker" like confession to the NES thong throng.

 

"Mia Culpa" he said.

 

"What the heck does that mean" asked slartibartplug?

 

"Buggered if I know either, but it sounds really european and edumacated like what Ahlovinski does .............. but back to my confession ....... and that is that I don't "emplant" like Planey said, I "impregnate" and that might be ................

 

My Aunt said she'll give the Darkscar $2,500/hr to prune her garden with the sabre. "Bugger the law" said the Scar "I'm going to get a Jim's Mowing concession and rename it ......

 

 

[planedriver]

does .............. but back to my confession ....... and that is that I don't "emplant" like Planey said, I "impregnate" and that might QUOTE]

Bring back some memories for those ladies with the noisey kids, in the back row.:big_grin:

 

"The contestant who's just arrived straight from the Moruyah RSL, complete with the meat tray won in the raffle, please cover your winnings, as the notorious Slartihotplate is here, and it could go missing when the lights are dimmed" said EmceePlaney.

 

DebonaireDecca peered briefly from the stage door, looking very suave wearing his smoking jacket, and looking like he'd come from a 1950's film set with Cary Grant.

 

The Captain could be seen in the background, still wearing his jocks like Errol Flynn and trying to further impress the ladies, prior to changing into his penguin suit.

 

"Thank God, he was'nt appearing in his Birthday one" I heard someone say:angry:

 

As the lights were dimmed and the spotlights focussed on centre stage, all of a sudden---------------------

[Captain]

does .............. but back to my confession ....... and that is that I don't "emplant" like Planey said, I "impregnate" and that might QUOTE]

Bring back some memories for those ladies with the noisey kids, in the back row.:big_grin:

 

"

 

As the lights were dimmed and the spotlights focussed on centre stage, all of a sudden---------------------

 

.... out came Robin of Locksley, complete with armour, page-boy haircut, fireman's helmet, spare beer can, sunscreen, Czecozlovaquean dicshunary, and lock-picks ..... and he immediately sailed into the well known Python number .....

 

"We are Knights of the Round Table,

 

And with the girls we're able.

 

To ...........

 

My Aunt noticed Planey's 1st line where he has memories of impregnation with a lady "in the back-row" and she said "I wonder if that might have actually been Planey at the Odeon in Concord just after the serial had finished?"

 

[Tomo]

...use our box brownies...." said an excited EmCeeplaney

 

 

[planedriver]

 

 

"I wonder if that might have actually been Planey at the Odeon in Concord just after the serial had finished?"

"No comment"

 

In an attempt to divert the attention back to Robin of Locksley, he added that not only

 

"We are Knights of the Round Table,

 

And with the girls we're able.

 

Once a Knight

 

Always a knight

 

But as the years progress, thats all we can manage (whatever that meant:confused:}

 

[ahlocks]

PoweredUp's super cocky :man flying: senses began to tingle. Something wasn't quite right.

 

He reached down to picked up a clump of Munyabla loam and then crushed it in his outstretched hand. As he watched the soil crumble and fall with the breeze, he noticed something odd... Red sand! :ah_oh:

 

The cross hairs of the scope jiggled ever so slightly as he quietly "Ha ha"ed in anticipation of taking the shot.

 

"Ha ha, this'll sort 'em out" snickered county lad, as he lay prone across the cruiser's bonnet (no grassy knoll this time). Although he was tired from driving for three days and nights, he was ready to deliver some payback to whoever was setting him up.....()

 

 

[planedriver]

he was ready to deliver some payback to whoever was setting him up.....()

At this point Planey did the bolt, and hid in the dunny :Flush: hoping not to be noticed:cool:.

 

Hopefully he was not the one in the scope sight, as a result of mistaken identity, or could it be the father of an old date from the Concord Odeon he wondered.

 

Nah! could'nt be, that was many years ago. Anyway, if I take a real deep breath and pull the flush, he thought, I can carry on undeterred and come out at Bondi away from the melee.

 

CaptainFlynn sniggered:laugh: at the deep-diving antics of Planey, when he clearly knew, that the real culprit was..................

 

 

[Captain]

At this point Planey did the bolt, and hid in the dunny :Flush: hoping not to be noticed:cool:.

CaptainFlynn sniggered:laugh: at the deep-diving antics of Planey, when he clearly knew, that the real culprit was..................

.... The TerriblePlanner, who had also lost his virginity in row M (Back Stalls, not the Dress Circle) at the Concord Odeon in 1959.

 

"Oh how well I remember" was the Planner's repost "I was on my own when it happened, and we couldn't afford to dress up like toffs in possum skins back in them days (and anyone who says that "Those were the days" must be mad), but that serial about the Scarlet Pumpernickle was very erotic and I .....................

 

 

[planedriver]

.... , but that serial about the Scarlet Pumpernickle was very erotic and I .....................

Felt quite overcome with emotion, and was hoping for a more satisfying ending.

 

I do clearly remember the couple who were sitting in the row in front though he recalled, it was a gentleman now known to many of us, who shall remain nameless (providing the bribe comes in tomorrows post).;)

 

As they walked out of the Odeon with their remaining husky popcorn, he was overheard to say "If you'd like a job as a hostie, I'm an engineer and can certainly engineer that for you, you sweet thing".:heart:

 

 

[Guest Decca]

.........."Cheque's in the mail, Planey" said Deccadence, slamming down the phone.

 

"I've got work to do" he muttered to himself, scrambling through the drawer in front of the mirror, looking for the eyebrow tweezers, nasal & ear hair remover, the moustache wax, and........