The Never Ending Story

[planedriver]

"How dare you", she intoned"There is nothing embarrassing about the Really Special Possum Cooks Association . Even the Ranga not in the lodge :stirring pot: has tasted our delights"

 

"Not so", said Krudd the dud, "I remember when.............

"I proposed that possum-stew should be outlawed to save the poor little critters from the chopping block, because you never know when you'll cop it in the back.

 

Having said that, I must admit that Therese and I do enjoy sitting by a log fire on a cold night, with our possum slippers on, while enjoying a glass of port. But that contradiction, I simply put down to an occupational norm"

 

 

[Captain]

Unappealing to some, but possum boots are the only way to fly. Not only are they warm but they can be used for stew when you get to your destination. If you are'nt hungry then shove them under the wheels to stop the plane from rolling away. Works better than lizzards as they make a bigger bump on the ground and their tails do'nt fall off, leaving you with an embarassing situation with the RSPCA.

But for those with a few extra $'s and patience, while possum boots are great nothing can beat boots made from those cute little pigmy glider possums.

 

And while it takes a lot more thread to sew their tiny pelts into a set of Ugg Boots, and they fight like crazy when you try to drag them out of their tree trunks, they are as warm as toast, they taste just like chicken, and also offer the additional aviation advantage that your boots will glide if you have a FAT with your engine or anything else (or at any time).

 

If this happens, your boots will take over and .................

 

 

[planedriver]

you'' find you can glide as good as any chipmunk.

 

 

[turboplanner]

If this happens, your boots will take over and .................

 

 

....but Turbo couldn't go on reading. he was shocked to the core(corps)(coar).

 

As President of the Pigmy Glider Possum Rehabilitation Committee, he had been working hard for years climbing trees, putting his hand into hollows, and being savagely bitten, but thinking he had helped to re-establish colonies of this rare species which had almost become extinct during the time they were served as entrees by the Captain Starlight Motel Chain.

 

And now here was the ugly truth that decedents had been exterminating the pygmies transported to the Riverina by Turbo

 

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if he hadn't made a set of covers for his Jab seats out of them" he thought, but then had an idea which would stop the rat in his tracks.......

 

 

[planedriver]

[quote=turboplanner;216952

 

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if he hadn't made a set of covers for his Jab seats out of them" he thought, but then had an idea which would stop the rat in his tracks.......

 

I'll duck around one dark night and sew the claws to his seat area. This should make him reconsider his judgement, as soon as he hits a bit of turbulence:laugh:

 

 

[Bryon]

I'll duck around one dark night and sew the claws to his seat area. This should make him reconsider his judgement, as soon as he hits a bit of turbulence:laugh:

"You Cad, You bounder.......but oh so dastardly evil" mewed the darkone

 

"I like it .....the oold sew the possum teeth in the seat trick"

 

"This RAA election is getting more interesting every day" she thought.........:super:

 

"But beware all ye who dare to enter into .................

 

 

[Captain]

"You Cad, You bounder.......but oh so dastardly evil" mewed the darkone "I like it .....the oold sew the possum teeth in the seat trick"

 

"This RAA election is getting more interesting every day" she thought.........:super:

 

"But beware all ye who dare to enter into .................

..... as you may miss-spell "election" and be banned (again) by some hedonistic Moderator.

 

"Pigmy Glider entres are a big seller" explained Gordon Rammersy "As their little legs look just like a handle after you cook 'em, so it saves loads of cutlery.

 

"Don't tell anyone" he added "But we've had a GPS Tracker sewn into Turbo's undies, and we have a Pigmy Glider Harvesting and Collection Crew that follows 90 seconds behind all of the members of the Pigmy Glider Possum Rehabilitation Committee. Our motto is "They find 'em and we fry 'em".

 

El Cappo added "And I'm not surpreied at Bryon's attempt to direct forum members away from the advantages of Possum Fur, with or without teeth and claws in place, for all NES'ers must surely be aware by now that "Bryon" is just an abbreviation for Bry-Nylon, which is the traditional material for seat covers, and for which sales have recently slumped in favour of ......................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......lion skin covers for Jab pilots, and pink labradoodle fakes made in China for the Rotoraxe handlers......

 

 

[Captain]

.......lion skin covers for Jab pilots, and pink labradoodle fakes made in China for the Rotoraxe handlers......

..... unless of course it is a 914 RotaryAxe owner, in which case it is a gold coloured version (and real gold at that).

 

"Hey, Tubb" yelled El Ratsack "How many members do you have in the PGPRC, and are any of them good sorts?"

 

To which the TuberPlunger prepared a response that said "...............

 

PS The Crappo is in Cowla tonight, having been invited to a reunion of the Cowla Bleak-Out Plisoners, and Nobu send his legards to all NES'ers.

 

 

[turboplanner]

......"Der PGPRC hef many members, perhaps three hundred, all female, and it is my job to inspect them all before operations begin....."

 

 

[Bryon]

......"Der PGPRC hef many members, perhaps three hundred, all female, and it is my job to inspect them all before operations begin....."

"What operation?" wailed voluptuousyoungnana

 

"I never volunteered for any medical experiments. Flashasaratwithagoldtooth didnt say anything about getting cut up when he convinced me to join the tubbs on his midnight excursions"

 

'Will voluptuousyoungnana get out of this mess?????"

 

'Who will fly in to save her????' :man flying:

 

 

[Captain]

Teeee Heeee ...... "Operations" begin ........ Teee Heee .... good one Nylon.

 

"What operation?" wailed voluptuousyoungnana "I never volunteered for any medical experiments. Flashasaratwithagoldtooth didnt say anything about getting cut up when he convinced me to join the tubbs on his midnight excursions"

 

'Will voluptuousyoungnana get out of this mess?????"

 

'Who will fly in to save her????' :man flying:

Rattle, ting, ping, thwack, pong, ting, ping, rattle ..... was the sound that came over the horizon.

 

"I do hope they have PULP, a few Jerry-Cans, and a ride into town where Voluptua is" whispered the brave :man flying: Ahlock :man flying: the Warlock (or perhaps it is Whorelock), who was on a mission to save youngnana from one of Tubb's "operations" (for which he has been locked up in the past).

 

"Jeeez I wish I had bought a Jab" he thought as he went on to lament "All I need is some PULP within 20 kms of the strip, for enough rivets to hold for the return journey, for the sunscreen not to run out, and for ...............

 

 

[Captain]

"Jeeez I wish I had bought a Jab" he thought as he went on to lament "All I need is some PULP within 20 kms of the strip, for enough rivets to hold for the return journey, for the sunscreen not to run out, and for ...............

...... someone to reply so that I will look good, with a .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....pair of Raybans, haircut from "He's a reelman", Main St, Wagga Wagga, baldies half price, a "Fieries are Faster" sticker on the side, and as much of the canopy cracks polished out as possible....

 

 

[planedriver]

...... someone to reply so that I will look good, with .............

out having to worry about whether I bought the wrong deodorant.

 

Of course you did'nt Captain.

 

We know that the mighty Jabiru's come standard with a sunshade, unlike some Chech glasshouse products for the hairy armpit brigade, who have broken noses, and minimal ventilation provided only by the missing rivet holes :uhoh2:.

 

"Phew! that's a real relief" said the Golden One, who'd just re-emerged from behind the hangar.

[planedriver]

No doubt about Turbo who'd been playing with his blow-off valve, (as as he frequently does, but hopefully not noticed) he's quick, and planey in his Morris Minor missed the cue.

 

The old BMC A series engines are not what quite up to the mark these days, like someone who shall remain nameless. Not good starters when cold, but ok if cranked by hand.

 

Raybans, why Raybans he thought? Some people just have too much money for their good. At Paddys markets, you could buy a dented Transit van full of the immitations, with a genuine "Sold in Australia" sign for half the price.

 

 

[Ian Sugden]

.....now this brought back to Mr Slartibartfast the storey his dear old Grandad had told him about a relative of his, a Mr Kelly, who according to Grandad was a fine upstanding pillar of society with vast legal experience and so he thought.......

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

well we all know what thought thought. Thought thought it ****ed, but it craped itself instead. Or was that grandad that had the crappy daks.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo wasn't sure, he was busy hopping into crape suzettes at the Wagga Wagga drive by

 

 

[Captain]

Turbo wasn't sure, he was busy hopping into crape suzettes at the Wagga Wagga drive by

"Is that a crap-e crepe?" asked Suzette "Do you have a Spelle-Checkor, or do you want to speak further with Grande Marnier (as opposed to Grande Pierre) about ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Is that a crap-e crepe?" asked Suzette "Do you have a Spelle-Checkor, or do you want to speak further with Grande Marnier (as opposed to Grande Pierre) about ............

 

"Non I want to speak to vous" said Turboplanner in pitch perfect French "We need to get together"

 

Suzette gave a knowing smile "These Aussies don't muck around" she thought.

 

"Can you drive a boat?" asked Turbo

 

"May we" replied Suzette

 

And as Turbo spelled out his clever plan, her hopes of some action died as he went on and on.

 

"The cost of fuel is too high now" he said "making the hourly rate too expensive"

 

He lost Suzette at this point, since she charged by the night, and as she disconsolately swizelled a stick in her drink he went on.

 

"So I've decided, Like Major Wheelmirror to build an aircraft.

 

"If Ozzie can build one out of half a dozen shopping bags, anyone can, but we'll go one better - ours won't have an engine"

 

I'll just drop it off the trailer at that cliff over there", he said waving a spaghetti laden fork around the restaurant "and you'll take the boat out down there"

 

"When I shove off the cliff, I should get ten minutes flight time" he said "You hit the gas as I approach, and if all goes well, we'll cart the plane back to the beach and start all over again.

 

"That should give us 50 minutes flight time in the hour at outboard motor rates....."

 

 

[Captain]

"Non I want to speak to vous" said Turboplanner in pitch perfect French "We need to get together"Suzette gave a knowing smile "These Aussies don't muck around" she thought.

 

"Can you drive a boat?" asked Turbo

 

"May we" replied Suzette

 

And as Turbo spelled out his clever plan, her hopes of some action died as he went on and on.

 

"The cost of fuel is too high now" he said "making the hourly rate too expensive"

 

He lost Suzette at this point, since she charged by the night, and as she disconsolately swizelled a stick in her drink he went on.

 

"So I've decided, Like Major Wheelmirror to build an aircraft.

 

"If Ozzie can build one out of half a dozen shopping bags, anyone can, but we'll go one better - ours won't have an engine"

 

I'll just drop it off the trailer at that cliff over there", he said waving a spaghetti laden fork around the restaurant "and you'll take the boat out down there"

 

"When I shove off the cliff, I should get ten minutes flight time" he said "You hit the gas as I approach, and if all goes well, we'll cart the plane back to the beach and start all over again.

 

"That should give us 50 minutes flight time in the hour at outboard motor rates....."

"Oh Tubb" she sighed "My name is Suzette, not Suzuki, and while you make me laugh with your erotic courtship I am not yet Yamahahaha, while you do make me curious (but not Mercury-ious), and I am not game to even mention your Evin-rude Johnson, or what you can do with your toe and your hat to dear Suze (commonly referred to as a Turbo To-hat-su) .... so don't muck around with planning dear Turbs, just close your eyes, think of Bangholme and ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Oh Tubb" she sighed "My name is Suzette, not Suzuki, and while you make me laugh with your erotic courtship I am not yet Yamahahaha, while you do make me curious (but not Mercury-ious), and I am not game to even mention your Evin-rude Johnson, or what you can do with your toe and your hat to dear Suze (commonly referred to as a Turbo To-hat-su) .... so don't muck around with planning dear Turbs, just close your eyes, think of Bangholme and ..............

"Toshiba!" ejaculated Turbo "here's a hanky Sony" said Suzette, "Where are we going Pachinko?"

 

 

[Captain]

"Toshiba!" ejaculated Turbo "here's a hanky Sony" said Suzette, "Where are we going Pachinko?"

"To the parlor" said PinBall "Where our silver balls will be of some use and where I will meet up with a bunch of Rotaxians who will beat the .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...door down trying to buy Pachinko balls to rebuild the reduction drive bearings.