The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

...door down trying to buy Pachinko balls to rebuild the reduction drive bearings.

Which has solved a long standing question of just what is that sound that 912's make when they shut down .... and the answer is "Pachink".

 

"Yeah, sure" said a long cynical Goldie Locks (who appears to be missing from the NES wheile his other duties have taken over) "But what about .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....that nasty sounding KerCHUNK if you don't turn the key exaaaaaactly the right amount when trying to start them.

 

 

[Captain]

....that nasty sounding KerCHUNK if you don't turn the key exaaaaaactly the right amount when trying to start them.

Which compares markedly with the noise made by those fine 3300 Jabiru engines, which commence with "Clear Prop", then the sound of the starter being pressed, the prop turning slowly thru 270 degrees and the pilot saying "Oh bugger, so much for that trip, does anyone have any jumper leads, a heat gun and a ..................

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

does anyone have any jumper leads, a heat gun and a ..................

...banana...

 

C'mon McGuyvers, what can ya do with a banana?

 

 

[Captain]

...banana...

 

C'mon McGuyvers, what can ya do with a banana?

"Beauty" said Locksly "Stick the banana peel in the gearbox of my Axe (just like we used to in the box of the Morry Minor before we sold it) and shove one of the brown bits of the Nana (the fruit, not the grandma) in these rivet holes where it will ........

 

G'day, Dark-Casm ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...putrefy and produce that classic odour of the Sportszar, which nobody who has ever flown one, or even walked past one, will ever forget.

 

 

[Captain]

...putrefy and produce that classic odour of the Sportszar, which nobody who has ever flown one, or even walked past one, will ever forget.

 

Which will result in my phonecall to Goldy Lox today to apologise ........... as I have always assumed that the fruity classic odor of putrifying banana has just been him, with the offending banana being tucked down the front of a certain part of his clothing.

 

"WOW" said Suzette "That means he must have a huge ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....prognostication?

 

There has to be a locked gate out there somewhere, and a fire truck with six skeletons - we haven't heard from him in days

 

 

[Tomo]

...which proved.....remarkably accurate.

 

Getting worrying indeed

 

 

[planedriver]

Meanwhile, Goldylocks was in the Gentlemans Pist-all club, (or, was it the other way round) trying to improve his aim.

 

"It's high time I settled all this nonsense about mising rivets, smelling like a fermenting banana, and lack of ventilation in my beloved Sportstar",he retorted.

 

Practicing his lightning fast 180 degree turn after 6 paces, he was wondering who'd be first to offer themselves up, to settle the issues like an old-fashioned gentleman.

 

The Captain pulled-rank, and suggested Turbo go first, co's his name suggests he might be fast enough for the task, followed by Planey who's also given him more curry than the local Indywallah cookhouse.

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

(It was the other way around) By the time Goldy finished with the practise, he was in no state to to settle anything in any gentlemanly fashion."Ok Caketin,Turdo and planeless" goldy slured. Lets get this over with.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Bigglesworth! What's happening?

 

 

[planedriver]

Why you're next to peer down the Locksmiths barrel, and i'll be following you.

 

For Gods sake----------------- don't miss.

 

I'm relying on you for Christs sake, don't let me down now.

 

Eat your loose-rivets comments out NOW!

 

The banana repellent deodorant suggestions, can come later.

 

 

[Tomo]

...as he drew back for the swing, he felt a tug on his coat tail...

 

 

[Captain]

...as he drew back for the swing, he felt a tug on his coat tail...

"Well" he said "We've never before seen that in the NES. Who is that tugging at this time of the morning?"

 

("You've obviously never been locked away in a prison camp for 7 years" commented Nobu)

 

"Who do you reckon" commented Suzette "It's ...........

 

 

[Captain]

..... Planey with a bag full of .........

 

 

[planedriver]

..... Planey with a bag full of .........

clothes as he's heading for the airport for his NT holiday:thumb_up:, but he could'nt help wondering, whether the tails that were being tugged, were those of the dapper-looking Ozzie, who looks likes he should be flying a Learjet, but not from where just any ordinary paddock will do.

 

 

[turboplanner]

However, Turbo had been watching the Ozzieplosion very carefully, and after becoming enthused by Major Event had thought: "That's It!, any ordinary paddock WILL do. It's about time we went back to the basics."

 

So he bought himself a Dinner Suit, collected some shopping bags and styro foam, pulled the engine out of the Victa, borrowed another one from the neighbour's ride on and.......

 

 

[Captain]

However, Turbo had been watching the Ozzieplosion very carefully, and after becoming enthused by Major Event had thought: "That's It!, any ordinary paddock WILL do. It's about time we went back to the basics."

So he bought himself a Dinner Suit, collected some shopping bags and styro foam, pulled the engine out of the Victa, borrowed another one from the neighbour's ride on and.......

...... read the old rule book.

 

" I shall always fly below 300 ft, as that was mandated and therefore must be safe."

 

"What's that?" questioned the CASA Inspector from behind a tree and removing his Zoro mask, while aiming the bright light fair into Turb's peepers and tightening the thumb screws (except it wasn't on the Planter's thumb). "I've got ya, you reckless Recreationalist" he mused "If you go over 300 ft I'll zap ya with the 1965 Rule Book and if you fly under 500 ft I'll use the current rule. You're stuffed both ways Tubb (not that there is anything wrong with that), so this is heaven for a CASA Inspector."

 

"Wait (and desist)" yelled one of the Forum Moderators who was dressed all in white (with a halo, too) and shall remain nameless "For I am ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

".........a fun killer from way back.

 

"As long as he doesn't fly over 500 ft and under 500ft is that OK?" asked the Moderator

 

The CASA Inspector was about to say "Yes", but a shadow of doubt slid across his face and he said "It might be but I better ask Bill"

 

(18 page reply and catfight deleted - Moderator)

 

 

[Captain]

".........a fun killer from way back.

"As long as he doesn't fly over 500 ft and under 500ft is that OK?" asked the Moderator

 

The CASA Inspector was about to say "Yes", but a shadow of doubt slid across his face and he said "It might be but I better ask Bill"

 

"Don't give up so easily" said Bill, hitting the CASA Inspector on the back of the hand with a plastic ruler. "At times like this, fall back on your basic training and remember the CASA Inspector's Mantra".

 

"I will" said the Inspector, as he stood to attention with tears in his eyes (from the ruler) and sang the CASA Inspector's song (to the tune of "Hitler had only one left one"), saluted, puffed out his beer gut, & said "There is always something in the Rule Book where you can screw any Pilot that you don't like the look of, or who has a bad Recreationalist Attitude, (but never take any PROPER action agaisnt the blokes who flew REALLY unsafely at NATFLY) where you can .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"avoid it, for they are the backbone of our Movement"

 

 

[Captain]

"avoid it, for they are the backbone of our Movement"

BANG went Bill with his special 18" plastic straight edge, right across the CI's knuckles.

 

"I want no more of this talk about 'back-bones' " he yelled "For we are pubic servants working for the CASA secret inspectorate, back-bone is not something that is mentioned in our charter, nor something we want to encourage out there amongst the great Recreational unwashed"

 

"Geeeeeeeeez" Bill added "Just imagine what will happen if Dick Smiff finds out about this?. He'll go ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

".......on prune and rant and rave, and take on any 747 jock, Navajo driver, 182RG redneck, Sikorski sycophant, Dash 8 dropkick, and educated, smooth Recreational hero that raises his head above the parapet."

 

(profanity deleted from post - Moderator with ******* attitude)

 

 

[Captain]

".......on prune and rant and rave, and take on any 747 jock, Navajo driver, 182RG redneck, Sikorski sycophant, Dash 8 dropkick, and educated, smooth Recreational hero that raises his head above the parapet."

 

(profanity deleted from post - Moderator with ******* attitude)

"Oh" thought Bill "We had better not get mixed up in that. We would be better sneaking around airports and zapping unsuspecting Recreationalist that we see smiling."

 

"I know a good way to get intelligence" said the CI (looking for praise) "We can get on BookFace and see what friendly groups are there having fun, then go get 'em."

 

"Great idea" whispered Bill "Call up www.Twittface.commo on your I-tablet thingo and ..............