The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....shining xample of a xcecilplains xpert horseman.....

 

Which appears to mean that Xlocks has double crossed Xturboskinnerblues who will no longer be able to sneak into the Rat's Nest Hotel for free using his old key and eating minties for breakfast.

 

 

[Captain]

....shining xample of a xcecilplains xpert horseman.....

"That's a bit Xcessive & Xaggerated" said Ester "Can't you Xpress yourself without Xamining the Xcitement that comes from Xcrement?"

 

"Xcommunicate the Xclusive Xalted one" yelled Eckles "As this thread is getting Xcruciatingly Xemplary, and I need some Xercise before I Xhale and Xpire. I'm Xhausted from making an Xhibit of myself, but it is Xhilarating being this Xistential."

 

"Don't worry about the Xodus, as we'll Xonerate ya" said Ronny D, with a .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......n xasperating grin.

 

"I'm from Exarch (look it up in the dictionary), where I work in the Xarchate and we were running short of rivets because some nutter visited earth and brought back a Xprotxtarx which pox's them all the time (we have twentyxix hours in our day by the way), and we have to replace them one by one in between retuning the Xotax engine and fixing gearboxes after every second flight.

 

No one was quite sure what this sleeper alien was up to.....................

 

 

[Captain]

.......n xasperating grin.

"I'm from Exarch (look it up in the dictionary), where I work in the Xarchate and we were running short of rivets because some nutter visited earth and brought back a Xprotxtarx which pox's them all the time (we have twentyxix hours in our day by the way), and we have to replace them one by one in between retuning the Xotax engine and fixing gearboxes after every second flight.

 

No one was quite sure what this sleeper alien was up to.....................

 

"Do sleeper Aliens from Exarch look like Carrie Fisher?" asked the Rat "Because if they do I'm gunna dump Olivia, grab Carrie and .................

 

 

[Captain]

"Do sleeper Aliens from Exarch look like Carrie Fisher?" asked the Rat "Because if they do I'm gunna dump Olivia, grab Carrie and .................

 

....... and further to Planey's other thread, which looks like will eventually overtake the NES in number of views and responses .... I'd like to thanks Sue, who was a chorister with me at St Mary's CofE, and who taught me a lot ..... but then ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....... and further to Planey's other thread, which looks like will eventually overtake the NES in number of views and responses .... I'd like to thanks Sue, who was a chorister with me at St Mary's CofE, and who taught me a lot ..... but then ................

.....ran off with someone called Turbo, who was much more experienced, and skilled, and could also sing......

 

 

[ahlocks]

...Ave Maria while accompanying himself on the lagerphone. :star:

 

"It was a performance to make a girl's heart flutter" :face and heart: added StMary'Sue. "There he was, resplendent in his white possum skin smock...."

 

ReminiscentRat sobbed inconsolably. "..Just have one Carrie Fischer fantasy, and now this..."

 

===================

 

While finessing said Prado with a lump hammer, Locks thought to himself that Rat's daughter is very fortunate that she looks more like her mum than her dad...:bmwrider:

 

 

[turboplanner]

ReminiscentRat sobbed inconsolably. "..Just have one Carrie Fischer fantasy, and now this..." .:bmwrider:

"I just can't compete with white possum skin, and he's also got that neat hip movement that Elvis taught him, which works better with the chicks than it ever did"

 

 

[ahlocks]

"I'm just a chuck, a chunk of Turbo love.." :rilla:

 

Tubz crooned as he wildly gyrated his hips.(some what similar to a kelpie that just piddled on the electric fence, some would say. )

 

"A can't compete with that!" :gaah:howled the Rat indignantly :patch: as he reached for his....

 

 

[Tomo]

...cuff button. "Oh no! here we go again" said.........

 

 

[ahlocks]

...cuff button. "Oh no! here we go again" said.........

...ClandestineRat (007Rat ) to agent O'Dalby. :peepwall:

 

"dit dit, dah, dit dit dit" replied O'Dalby in secret code speak. (:ne_nau:)

 

"Possum skinned Elvis impersonator sighted bothering local females." whispered double-O-Rat into his cuff radio :patch:. "Warnings on file include possible damage to hearing and high risk of fleas. last seen gyrating and singing mostly off key...."

 

 

[Captain]

.."Possum skinned Elvis impersonator sighted bothering local females." whispered double-O-Rat into his cuff radio :patch:. "Warnings on file include possible damage to hearing and high risk of fleas. last seen gyrating and singing mostly off key...."

 

...... as Tubb made his way from his mini-sub in the Murray, up onto the shore, removed his frogman outfit (which definitely looked more like a cane-toad than a frog), adjusted his Tuxedo, adjusted himself, gave that typical Lazemby, Moore, & the new-bloke, supercillious grin and said to GoldMemberPete ".......................

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

" I say old chap, you wouldnt have a coat hanger handy would you. It seems I've locked my keys in the sub and I forgot to put the cat out" My watch is on the blink and Q has'nt given me a new one yet so I havent got a spy cutting torch available with gps, digital tv,moblle phone,death ray, and a can opener on one side and on the other a ......

 

 

[Captain]

" I say old chap, you wouldnt have a coat hanger handy would you. It seems I've locked my keys in the sub and I forgot to put the cat out" My watch is on the blink and Q has'nt given me a new one yet so I havent got a spy cutting torch available with gps, digital tv,moblle phone,death ray, and a can opener on one side and on the other a ......

..... thing that replaces rivets in Szara's, a tool to take stones out of horses' hooves, a file to sharpen the cutting edge on Odd-Job's hat, and a great big .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...pair of nail clippers, although, with the increasing uptake of electronic newspapers, clipping them inside is on the way out, and one of our members, who shall remain nameless has already savoured the luxury of doing it out in the open and so far reports no side effects, other than double takes from passing motorists.

 

One of them was driving an orange RAV4 with spots on it, and as he looked out the window, Turbo recognised the familiar face of SlartiButOut......

 

 

[Captain]

...One of them was driving an orange RAV4 with spots on it, and as he looked out the window, Turbo recognised the familiar face of SlartiButOut......

 

"Who can blame me" said ButtCrack "As a double take is justified when you see someone trimming their nails with a Bosch Anglegrinder (& there were sparks), and cutting their nose-hairs with a ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Who can blame me" said ButtCrack "As a double take is justified when you see someone trimming their nails with a Bosch Anglegrinder (& there were sparks), and cutting their nose-hairs with a ......

...pair of bolt cutters. They must breed them tough down there in Bangholme"

 

"Not really" said Turbo cracking the arsebone of an ox between his teeth. "It's just the way we've always lived.

 

 

[Captain]

...pair of bolt cutters. They must breed them tough down there in Bangholme"

"Not really" said Turbo cracking the arsebone of an ox between his teeth. "It's just the way we've always lived.

 

..................... on-the-edge ............................ of NSW ......................... of real fullfillment ........... eating the arsebones out of Oxen, ......................following Collingwood, ........................ getting our main entertainment out of the NES (how sad is that) and ........................

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

taking the mickey out of friend and foe alike by telling tall stories on the forums.

 

Not at all like us cultured Queenslanders.We are not happy eating the arsebones out of oxen, we just eat the whole beast.

 

 

[Tomo]

Which we then call - the pork chop - whether it was goose, chicken, beef, lamb, pig or not.......

 

"It's just the way of the land"

 

 

[turboplanner]

Editor's note to overseas viewers of this story:

 

Queenslanders unfortunately due to the financial desecration of their State, these days usually called Annaland are brought up on a diet of Cane Toad sandwiches for breakfast, and over time the poison in these toads numbs their sense of taste (which was bad in the first place).

 

Under these circumstances it is not unusual to see them commit gauch acts like eating whole Oxen, goose, chicken, lamb, pig, or not (the writer has not tasted the last one but has heard it's like chicken).

 

Similarly you can get a bottle of metho, and make four X's on the label with a felt pen, and they'll throw it down as if they hadn't had a drink for a month............

 

 

[Captain]

....... for they are a quaint bunch, those Queen Slanderers.

 

But beware, as they have a chip on both shoulders the size of the "Big-Chip" @ Kettle-ville, which is even bigger than the Big-Mango @ Bowen, or the Big-Cumquat @ Roochedor, or the Big-CaneToad @ Roma.

 

And as a further warning to our Overseas Viewers, the NES is copywrited, Tubb is copycatted, and Pete-the-Bess .... is ........................

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

the finest couple of people you could ever hope to meet. Just ask Tommo. He once met Pete at the Dalby Wings and Wheels and will be forever in awe of this tremendous bloke , with his rugged good looks,quick witt, and the fact that he knows about the two sisters Tommo took for joy flights in the drifter.( you cant have both Tommo)

 

 

[Tomo]

...and to think I didn't even take you for a ride Pete. If I'da known your facts then maybe I would have i_dunno

 

As that is the requirement, only good looking people get free rides with Tomo.

 

 

[turboplanner]

It was a good attempt at a diversion by Dit Dot, but as a result of Big Mouth Pete's allegations, the secret was out on the threesome.

 

The question was Who were the Dalby Twins, and did anyone have a photo?