The Never Ending Story

[Bryon]

.... can be achieved with a T-shirt and a glass of water."

"Did you say T-shirt or D-shirt?" asked Turbs.

 

"Oh, Turbo" exclaimed Mealia "That possum skin really ...............

...does tickle my fancy"

 

 

[Captain]

...does tickle my fancy"

 

"My grandson has a "Tickle-me-Elmo" said Tubb "Is that the same?"

 

"Well" thought Mealia "They are somewhat similar, in that ..............

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

possum skin undies and a tikle me elmo make most people laugh.

 

 

[Tomo]

Most people..... That's the key word, said ditdot as he plays on an iPad in a shop..... "dees dings are cool" :big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

Most people..... That's the key word, said ditdot as he plays on an iPad in a shop..... "dees dings are cool" :big_grin:

... "As opposed to the way dings are when clad in a possum skin on a 40 C day in the humidity of Bangeholme, when the ............................

 

 

[tvaner1563861417]

... "As opposed to the way dings are when clad in a possum skin on a 40 C day in the humidity of Bangeholme, when the ............................

 

....wind is blowing from the wrong direction........Pheeew!!!

 

Those who have lived near the area would know.

 

 

[Captain]

....wind is blowing from the wrong direction........Pheeew!!!

 

 

Those who have lived near the area would know.

Which is proven by the fact that Turbs has recently left Ye Olde Bange Holme to spend a happy late spring in YSWG X 2, while El Ratsack is flashing it (his tooth that is) in Ye Olde Londinium on business ........ and trying not to be part of the A380 engine teste programme, or Sammy Bed Linen's next foraye.

 

The Tubbo Planter called the Toothe and said "Where art thou, goode Innkeeper, I wante to .................

 

My Aunte says that tvaner obviously knows the ponge in the gardens of goode olde Bange Holme

 

 

[Captain]

..... hire a room for 1 breeding pair + 5 skins a night, and get the address for the Shy Ahlock (the Shylock?) where I will .............

 

 

[Tomo]

....post him a letter

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

Though posting a letter to him this time of year would be like posting a letter to Santa, in that you would like to believe in him and hope for a reply but due to the nature of such characters ..............

 

 

[Captain]

Though posting a letter to him this time of year would be like posting a letter to Santa, in that you would like to believe in him and hope for a reply but due to the nature of such characters ..............

 

.... and the fact that AhClaus plays with elves (elfs?), hangs around malls, looks (and acts) a lot like Billy Bob Thornton's "Bad Santa", and flys his SportStar like Rudolph is in charge, is a bit of a worry, because ............

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

.....Rudolph does'nt like flying Sportstars. He prefers the wind in your antlers feeling you get from flying Drifters.

 

 

[Captain]

.....Rudolph does'nt like flying Sportstars. He prefers the wind in your antlers feeling you get from flying Drifters.

 

"Drifters - Smiffters" said SantaLocks "Just wait until you feel the power and hear the KLUNK of a 912. Now come here, Young Tomo. Have you been a good young enthusiast and what would you like for Christmas?"

 

Tomo thought, wondered if he really should be perched up on AhClaus's knee, contemplated whether Santa was being strictly truthful when he asked him to stroke what didn't really look like Rudolph's red nose, and responded "I would like to live in NSW, and get a ...................

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

................and get myself a hooch farm. All those south of the border (qld that is) have farms and fly expensive planes. If I stayed in Qld I'd only have to work for an honest living and build airstrips in Png for my holidays. "Yes" thought Tomo, " I'd love to be able to bludge for the rest of my life".

 

 

[Captain]

................and get myself a hooch farm. All those south of the border (qld that is) have farms and fly expensive planes. If I stayed in Qld I'd only have to work for an honest living and build airstrips in Png for my holidays. "Yes" thought Tomo, " I'd love to be able to bludge for the rest of my life".

..... just like they do over in the big smoke on the escarpemnt in 'Woomba, not like us real Queen's Slanderers out here in the flat-lands, where men are men, the coalseams are degasified, Drifter's are king, soils are red, and the women are nervous".

 

"What are the sheilas nervous about?" asked Robbo the slightly older enthusiast.

 

"Well" replied Tomo after a lot of thought, and then he paused .....................

 

.........................................................................................................

 

.........................................................................................................

 

"There's a B&S Ball on in Roma next weekend and it's rumoured that a bus-load of Toowoomba's finest are coming over, so our ladies have put their heffa's, sheep & goats in the barn, but are still worried about the .......................

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

......Jabaru and Sportstar pilots with their unscrupulous behavior towards the local possums.

 

 

[Captain]

......Jabaru and Sportstar pilots with their unscrupulous behavior towards the local possums.

"Possums are nothing" replied Turbo "I am also king of the Queen's Land trucking industry and I have seen, first hand, what the boys out Roma way can do with a Cane Toad and a spotted python. In fact, it is on U-Toob at the moment, and Southpark are doing a show about it in their next series (as the modern equivalent of their earlier show "Elephant makes love to a Pig"). In this case it will be called "Bloke in a big hat, with red mud on his RM's, and a big silver belt buckle depicting a Drifter (full size), holds a Cane Toad (not Wally Lewis or Alan Langer) (not that there is anything wrong with that) while a spotted python .............

 

 

[Bryon]

"Possums are nothing" replied Turbo "I am also king of the Queen's Land trucking industry and I have seen, first hand, what the boys out Roma way can do with a Cane Toad and a spotted python. In fact, it is on U-Toob at the moment, and Southpark are doing a show about it in their next series (as the modern equivalent of their earlier show "Elephant makes love to a Pig"). In this case it will be called "Bloke in a big hat, with red mud on his RM's, and a big silver belt buckle depicting a Drifter (full size), holds a Cane Toad (not Wally Lewis or Alan Langer) (not that there is anything wrong with that) while a spotted python .............

"... is nothing to be sneezed at":no no:

 

"Them spots could be symptomatic of one of them foreign diseases that are known to be passed on whilst......

 

 

[Captain]

"... is nothing to be sneezed at":no no:"Them spots could be symptomatic of one of them foreign diseases that are known to be passed on whilst......

 

....... copulating (talking to a copper who has arrived after his shift should have started)."

 

"That puts me in mind of Tunnel-Rat Pete, (see post # 838) who experienced many pythons while doing his thing in the tunnels up north in Phuck Mee province, and after a bit of R&R in Saigon he ended up spotty as well, however that was actually caused by Agent Orange, a lovely little female (not that there is anything wrong with that) CIA operative from Kentucky, whose real name was Agent Brown, who he thinks about often, and who ............

 

 

[MrH]

....... copulating (talking to a copper who has arrived after his shift should have started)."

.......... whose real name was Agent Brown, who he thinks about often, and who ............

.......was wondering how the Water Rat was coping in Water Water.."Hopefully Turbovenrude will be able to kick start his outboard & boat in" suggested Mrh. "and save that scallywag Captain Water Rat"..and what about MrFirelocks!... "Maybe it was 'im that left the fire 'ose on & flooded the town" suggested Bryon as he tapped out a rythmic dripping kind of beat.." No way!" said Drip Dot "It was...................

 

 

[planedriver]

.......was wondering how the Water Rat was coping in Water Water.."Hopefully Turbovenrude will be able to kick start his outboard & boat in" suggested Mrh. "and save that scallywag Captain Water Rat"..and what about MrFirelocks!... "Maybe it was 'im that left the fire 'ose on & flooded the town" suggested Bryon as he tapped out a rythmic dripping kind of beat.." No way!" said Drip Dot "It was...................

The Four-Striper trying to flush out those possums to please the throngs of thong perverts, who insist on getting to the crutch of our problems.

 

Turboevenrude who lacks a bit of spark at the moment, has nothing to to do with it, in fact he's a non-runner at the moment, and feels very cranky about the situation.

 

Tomo's not in the positition to offer much advise, as he's probably busy trying to seduce, that should read induce, the next passenger for his next trip to Temora.

 

AhClaus is busy fitting an array of led lights in the missing rivet holes, in the true festive spirit, so don't knock him, because otherwise he will feel somewhat de-lighted.

 

 

[Captain]

The following responds to the excellent posts #'s 4837 & 4838 by H and Planey, who obviously should be investigative journalists.

 

1 The Water Water levels have declined a little and the levys are doing their jobs well, however Wagga people are very concerned that much of the water coming to the Murrumbidgee via the Burrinjuk Dam is stormwater, runoff and outflow from the treatment plants in Canberra. Some is therefore Slarti's and some is Julia's ..... erky perky. (And some is even from the bloke that does it to Julia .... so double Erky Perky)

 

2 Ahlights is fitting LED' into all of his missing rivet holes. The LED's fit perfectly and there are a shipload of them, so the SportStar has been hired for the Sydney Harbour New Years fireworks this year, so as to save money for Christina's gard-damn 2011 re-election year budget.

 

3 Planey should write a song about the throng of thong nongs (perhaps after sucking on a bong in a serong) ..... or am I wrong?

 

4 Turbo is making a fortune this flood season as the SES in Vic and NSW are paying him handsomely (the money, not Tubbo) to stay away from all of their rescue outboards (the SES now stands for Save EvinrudeS).

 

5 AhFireyLocks has offered the use of his fire-hose to any female Wagga evacuee that needs it.

 

Kind regards to all that have been slandered herein.

 

The Rat (glint, glint)

 

 

[turboplanner]

4 Turbo is making a fortune this flood season as the SES in Vic and NSW are paying him handsomely (the money, not Tubbo) to stay away from all of their rescue outboards (the SES now stands for Save EvinrudeS).

In fact Turbo had been on a whirlwind trip setting up deals with possum shooters and other members of the rag trade getting ready to launch his new product based loosely on a food chain's "Combo" brand (you don't eat any part of this one though).

 

He had rushed into Wagga Wagga, a known possum haunt and breeding farm, but found "Shining Tooth" (an old Indian alias sometimes used by the Capt) was out of town, so he took the opportunity to grab a handful of boiled lollies from the cherubs, only to suffer a broken tooth on the way home, and he could understand perfectly how this establishment had five stars - that's what you see when you eat their friggin toffees.

 

 

 

[petetheprinta]

In fact Turbo had been on a whirlwind trip setting up deals with possum shooters and other members of the rag trade getting ready to launch his new product based loosely on a food chain's "Combo" brand (you don't eat any part of this one though).

He had rushed into Wagga Wagga, a known possum haunt and breeding farm, but found "Shining Tooth" (an old Indian alias sometimes used by the Capt) was out of town, so he took the opportunity to grab a handful of boiled lollies from the cherubs, only to suffer a broken tooth on the way home, and he could understand perfectly how this establishment had five stars - that's what you see when you eat their friggin toffees.

The tooth wasn't the problem, after all, he knew the duty dentist at Seaside Dental (odd name for a dental surgery at Wagga Wagga) and they were open 24 hours. No...the REAL problem was the stars, how was he to find his way home blinded by the light of five class 4 stars. His problems were just starting........ then it hit him, it was obvious, how do you switch off the stars....

 

 

[planedriver]

In fact Turbo had been on a whirlwind trip setting up deals with possum shooters and other members of the rag trade getting ready to launch his new product based loosely on a food chain's "Combo" brand (you don't eat any part of this one though).

He had rushed into Wagga Wagga, a known possum haunt and breeding farm, but found "Shining Tooth" (an old Indian alias sometimes used by the Capt) was out of town, so he took the opportunity to grab a handful of boiled lollies from the cherubs, only to suffer a broken tooth on the way home, and he could understand perfectly how this establishment had five stars - that's what you see when you eat their friggin toffees.

So all I want for Christmas is my TWO GOLD TEETH .

 

Now that'll change a few things around this joint, and upset the balance of one up-manship.