The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........... and eye-shadow that matches the colour scheme of the SSzara, while tastefully completing his ensemble with a .............

..miniature beercan pendant with two fluffy baubles and an iron on tattoo reading "ABBA4ME"

 

 

[Bryon]

.....apron, along with that big pink ribbon in my hair....."

....and a slightly soggy pair of possum skin jockettes"

 

Could these be the mysterious Nannas Knickers that had been draped over the chair dans le jardin.....?????

 

 

[Captain]

..miniature beercan pendant with two fluffy baubles and an iron on tattoo reading "ABBA4ME"

.... and a risque tatt on the other arm saying "I love Barry Manilow" below a partially clad portrait of ...............

 

Le BreeOng had better hurry with his reply or he will be left behind, in the paddock

 

 

[Captain]

....and a slightly soggy pair of possum skin jockettes" Could these be the mysterious Nannas Knickers that had been draped over the chair dans le jardin.....?????

"Non, for je have checked and they definitely aren't Nanna's panatalons out in le jardin, as she doesn't .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Non, for je have checked and they definitely aren't Nanna's panatalons out in le jardin, as she doesn't .............

 

....have a garden?.....

 

Isn't it funny how locksie's gone all quiet? Ah well, probably gone to the cross dress shop...

 

 

[Bryon]

....have a garden?.....

Isn't it funny how locksie's gone all quiet? Ah well, probably gone to the cross dress shop...

What I want to know is why are the dresses cross?

 

Who has upset them?

 

 

[turboplanner]

What I want to know is why are the dresses cross?Who has upset them?

Le Breeone had abandoned aviation to lapse into philosophy, in the most useful way.

 

Turbo had always wondered about this, and had also been mistified by signs saying:

 

"Lyrebirds cross here" and "Cattle cross here twice a day"

 

He wondered if it was those greenies who were upsetting them, or whether it might be due to climate change...

 

 

[MrH]

MrH had always wondered why land bound GPS's kept saying "Bear left" he looked had never seen one:confused:

 

 

[Bryon]

What I want to know is....

 

If a man f***s in the forest, does his wife know....or care? :confused:

 

Or is it just Nanna that knows all.........:lol 8:

 

 

[Captain]

So many deep-&-meaningfuls ... and so little time ... however this is what the big-boss meant the NES to be for ..... to solve the deep questions that trouble us all:

 

1 The dresses are not cross. They are, however, pretty ****ed-off. And wouldn't you be if you were hanging there waiting to be worne to a wedding or a christening, and AhLow-the-Harlow buys you for a night of depravity at the Firey's Ball while wearing a Boa that clashes. (The NSWFB too, so it is the REAL Fireys).

 

And then it just gets worser and worser, when he also wears you to the CFA BBQ where unspeakable things are said and done.

 

2 Is a "land bound" GPS similar to an egg-bound one?

 

3 The only reason H couldn't see one is that the Koala is not really a bear and nobody has yet told TomTom or FredFred or NavMan or GarMin.

 

4 Cattle are browned off because they have been accused of global warming ... but those poor little LyreBirds have done little wrong, except for being Turbo-like show-offs.

 

5 If a man beaks wind anywhere, his wife always appears to know, until he learns not to roll up onto one cheek and squint.

 

6 The bigger question is why does this Thread now sensor Bryon"s 3 letters "art"?

 

7 And where is Steve the X-dresser with the lock-picks, the bad attitude and the .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

7 And where is Steve the X-dresser with the lock-picks, the bad attitude and the .....

The Rat's contageous cogitation continued. It really was unusual for Locksie to be missing this long. What if a fire started? Who would fight it? Did it really matter if the fiery was wearing a frock and earrings - or worse, was a member of the CFA?

 

Ratso heard a clanging sound in the distance, rather like someone slamming in star pickets with a sledge hammer.

 

As he rounded the corner of the last hanger (coat hanger, not aircraft hangar) he realised it was the gear backlash of a rotarian gearbox, and there beside the corroding aluminium fuselage of the beer can was Ahlo with one hand over the air intake and the other on the started button. He'd towed a Rex plane over and was using a set of 4x4 jumper leads.

 

"I've been trying to get this started since Christmas Eve!" wailed an exasperated Lockie.

 

"Perhaps you should turn it on" suggested the Rat helpfully.

 

That's when.....

 

 

[Bryon]

"I've been trying to get this started since Christmas Eve!" wailed an exasperated Lockie.

 

"Perhaps you should turn it on" suggested the Rat helpfully.

 

That's when.....

....Ahlow the harlow wailed " I have tried that"

 

" I blew warm breaths up its exhaust pipe, caressed its canopy and even tickled its G meter.........nothing works"

 

"You stupid woman" exclaimed the rat in a false french accent

 

" Dont you know that all it takes is a..............

 

 

[Captain]

....Ahlow the harlow wailed " I have tried that" " I blew warm breaths up its exhaust pipe, caressed its canopy and even tickled its G meter.........nothing works"

 

"You stupid woman" exclaimed the rat in a false french accent

 

" Dont you know that all it takes is a..............

.... fancy dinner and a couple of bottles of red."

 

Ahlow looked at the ignition switch, thought for a while, and said "What's that and why does it look like it needs a metal squiggly thing to stick in it?"

 

"Say apres moi, mon mate" responde Le Rat "It need a key (aviation term)."

 

"We are stuffed then (aviation term for when the fan stops)" said Ahrocks-off as it is the 42nd Thursday after Lent ............. and I lent my picks to the SES p*icks during the floods so that they could ................

 

 

[ahlocks]

... and I lent my picks to the SES during the floods so that they could ................

Start the Chevy, to drive to the levee, but the levee was...:kumbaya:

 

 

[Bryon]

Start the Chevy, to drive to the levee, but the levee was...:kumbaya:

......cut off by a band of marauding feral possums on the lookout for lost and innocent jabarooter drivers.

 

Can the SESers get to the levee in time?

 

Will the possums catch them and peg them out in the sun to dry?

 

Will their feather like fingbolds tickload thee in the ribbys, wot!!! (shades of Ogdens Nut Gone Flake)

 

These and many more questions to your answers in the next exciting episode of........

 

 

[Captain]

......cut off by a band of marauding feral possums on the lookout for lost and innocent jabarooter drivers.

Can the SESers get to the levee in time?

 

Will the possums catch them and peg them out in the sun to dry?

 

Will their feather like fingbolds tickload thee in the ribbys, wot!!! (shades of Ogdens Nut Gone Flake)

 

These and many more questions to your answers in the next exciting episode of........

..... Goldy-Locks and the Three Bare-arsed NES-ers.

 

"This Szara is too aluminiuminumy" said the Bare-arsed jabarooter driver.

 

"The gearbox on this Axe is too clunky" said the Boa Con-sphincter wearer.

 

"This air cooled 3300 is just right" said Nanna who was the honorary Mummy bare-arsed contributor "For I have just seen a photo of Bryon, so will someone please check my sphygmus?"

 

Because the good-old boyz were drinking whisky and rye, singing "This will be the day that I .............

 

 

[ahlocks]

..... so will someone please check my sphygmus?"

Because the good-old boyz were drinking whisky and rye, singing "This will be the day that I .............

..But the finale' was drowned out by the sound of a thousand of mouse clicks as the punters went googling to learn just what the hell it was that Nana wanted checked.

 

"Holy medical vernacular RatMan!" gasped goldyLox :ah_oh:, "Do you think she'll settle for just a radial or go straight for the femoral??" I dunno he quizzed, as he shovelled up a pile of melted plastic left by a jabirooter that had been left out in the midday sun.

 

"That a 3300 in your pocket (well they run a bit lumpy don't they?:ne_nau:) or are you just pleased to see me?" :Rabia: cooed Nana as Bryon....

 

 

[planedriver]

"That a 3300 in your pocket (well they run a bit lumpy don't they?:ne_nau:) or are you just pleased to see me?" :heart: cooed Nana as Bryon....

 

Nah! I was just forgetful, came the reply. Clean forgot that the doc says I should bite what he prescribed in half, to get twice the bang for the buck.

 

A bit like a jabiru with one oiled-up plug.

 

Oh!, do you mean like KY Aeroshell quizzed the Nanna? I spose it all helps with the vintage of most of e'm around here.

 

But I own a trusty Thruster shouted a voice from the back of the crowd......whats more, i'm braced to handle whatever comes my way.

 

 

[Captain]

"Oh!, do you mean like KY Aeroshell quizzed the Nanna? I spose it all helps with the vintage of most of e'm around here. But I own a trusty Thruster shouted a voice from the back of the crowd......whats more, i'm braced to handle whatever comes my way.

Rusty the Thruster truster strode forward with his flying suit akimbo, his ephilettes glistening with 5 strips of gold braid, his cap at a jaunty angle, his scarf streaming, his flying boots shuffling, his goggles besmirched with grasshopper guts and 2-stroke residue, and his moustache twirled and turned up at the ends.

 

"What a hunk" commented Nanna.

 

"I saw him first" said Aunty "What a man and what a machine, for this is real flying, not that upper-echilon (aviation term) stuff that HaughtyLocks does in his SStar or Le Bryon does in his Texan Toppe-Classe."

 

"I agree." said Nanna "This is what the RA-Aus is all about. A hunk of a pilot, no spouses in sight, a fly-in full of other blokes, a 2-man tent, some cheap wine, a thermometer, a gross of ribbed possum skin condoments, a litre of 2-stroke fully synthetic massage oil, a 6-pack of spare NGK Iridium's and a packet of .........

 

Surely after post #'s 4610 and 4611 StevieLocks will now accept that El Ratsack is really a Doctor (or at least a Vet) ....... who was caught practicing with his Aunt, out in the garden (with stirrups) and subsequently disbarred for 9 months until the result was known.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"I agree." said Nanna "This is what the RA-Aus is all about. A hunk of a pilot, no spouses in sight, a fly-in full of other blokes, a 2-man tent, some cheap wine, a thermometer, a gross of ribbed possum skin condoments, a litre of 2-stroke fully synthetic massage oil, a 6-pack of spare NGK Iridium's and a packet of .........

...avocados.

 

This reminded Turbo of an unfortunate incident which occurred over the Christmas period.

 

He'd been invited to a large Christmas Dinner where there was the tradition of a Kris Kringle where everyone had to bring a present they had made.

 

Turbo was a couple of hours from home when he realised he'd forgotten his delicious chocolate mud cake and with what at the time seemed brilliant lateral thinking dropped into the nearest supermarket and bought a jar of vegemite and a tub of margarine. He scraped the vegemite out and squeezed the guts of several hundred grasshoppers into it adding a measure of gin, and some of the margarine.

 

After some vigorous stirring the colour looked just right and the residue of the vegemite had given it the characteristic darker streaks.

 

He found a felt pen and quickly labelled it "Home Made Avocado Paste" as he walked up the drive smelling the dozens of roasting turkeys and knowing that no one would ever know who made it.

 

To his surprise.....

 

 

[Captain]

...To his surprise.....

..... some tasteless bum reckoned that it looked less like Avocados and more like Cumquats.

 

"However exotic fruits are not my specialty, as I hang around more with home grown NES & RAA fruits like .......

 

Le plume de ma tante scrawled "All the best for 2011 to you all"

 

Disclaimer ...... I note in post #4611 that AhRoxoff has admitted, again, to jumping pages. It's a sad day when "a youth in attendance to a person of rank" (such as The Earl of Bange Holme or Sir Brynylon or DrH) cannot undertake their duties without being subjected to such liberties.

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....Ahtichoke Rivettus, Captsicum Rattasorius, Plane Nuts and BryonApple......

 

All the best for the New Year to exotics, and all the others who frequent this challenging environment where its hard to tell where reality ends, or starts.

 

 

[Methusala]

...all bobbing madly in the richly alcoholic half keg of punch. The madly twisted strains of "auld lang syne" ebbed and rang for the umpteenth time as the new year party extended into the gathering hours of dawn. Meanwhile, out on the tarmac rays of vestigial dawn sun vaguely illuminate a Thruster. "There's not much room to play Twister in a Thruster!" avoice is heard to murmer... Thrusty truster's voice answers in a low growl,"Jettison some gear!"..."That's better," says Pixie the pax."Now I GET the 3 blader." In accord with the ancient littany heard over thousands of airfields for more than a century "Contact!"...but who is PIC here?? Is it that devious old lefty Meth?.. or perhaps the impossibly intellectual Black Rod weaving some wandy magic?? or even Motz, extending his mentoring roll???....

 

(OK! Ban me! This is my last attempt at curtailling this mad blue hills saga... now find something to do!)

 

 

[turboplanner]

...all bobbing madly in the richly alcoholic half keg of punch. The madly twisted strains of "auld lang syne" ebbed and rang for the umpteenth time as the new year party extended into the gathering hours of dawn. Meanwhile, out on the tarmac rays of vestigial dawn sun vaguely illuminate a Thruster. "There's not much room to play Twister in a Thruster!" avoice is heard to murmer... Thrusty truster's voice answers in a low growl,"Jettison some gear!"..."That's better," says Pixie the pax."Now I GET the 3 blader." In accord with the ancient littany heard over thousands of airfields for more than a century "Contact!"...but who is PIC here?? Is it that devious old lefty Meth?.. or perhaps the impossibly intellectual Black Rod weaving some wandy magic?? or even Motz, extending his mentoring roll???....

 

 

(OK! Ban me! This is my last attempt at curtailing this mad blue hills saga... now find something to do!)

 

Methusla was probably spot on with his "alcoholic" comments regarding a certain Rat short one natural tooth. Wagga Wagga Secondary school had for years in Chem 1 explained how gold was impervious to alcohol, giving as the example a certain resident'\s false tooth, however we don want Motz doing mentor rolls, mentor stalls, mentor loops, mentor spins, mentor immelmanns, mentor wingovers or anything of that dubious nature ( not that any of us suggested that he does - well except for methusla that is!.

 

Turbo was enthralled by the unveiling of Pixie the Pax, no doubt along witgh the other tongue hangers on this forum, and wondered whether Pixie might like to drop in some time.

 

He was also enthralled at the name Methusla, knowing this was the oldest person, mentioned in the Hebrew Bible, to die........at the age of 969. Clearly the Bible had made a msitake, and Methusla was still alive and kicking, which might explain.......

 

 

[Captain]

Methusla was probably spot on with his "alcoholic" comments regarding a certain Rat short one natural tooth. Wagga Wagga Secondary school had for years in Chem 1 explained how gold was impervious to alcohol, giving as the example a certain resident'\s false tooth, however we don want Motz doing mentor rolls, mentor stalls, mentor loops, mentor spins, mentor immelmanns, mentor wingovers or anything of that dubious nature ( not that any of us suggested that he does - well except for methusla that is!.

Turbo was enthralled by the unveiling of Pixie the Pax, no doubt along witgh the other tongue hangers on this forum, and wondered whether Pixie might like to drop in some time.

 

He was also enthralled at the name Methusla, knowing this was the oldest person, mentioned in the Hebrew Bible, to die........at the age of 969. Clearly the Bible had made a msitake, and Methusla was still alive and kicking, which might explain.......

 

...... why Pixie would possibly choose to fly with the Meth-ooze-la.

 

"It's outrageous" said one of the Forum Moderators [the writer doffs his hat and tugs his forelock appropriately] (whom shall remain nameless and blameless, but very shameless). "The Meth-Oozer departs (aviation reference) Currydoodle all lusty in his trusty but rusty, crusty, musty & dusty Thrusty (& a T-300 no less) accompanied by busty Pixie, then comes down here and expects us to ban him on his 1st attempt."

 

"It'll sure take more than that to get him banned in this august (or january) company." commented Ratatouile "Everyone knows that the best way to get banned is to just call Ian a ...........

 

And yes, it was the forelock that was tugged.