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Posted
...kill the women and rape the m.." ..NedPlanner stopped mid word wtf.gif.1b0c5add9c9f09514014392e4c46d328.gif, distracted by Ahnight fidgeting behind him. :DirtDOG:

"What!? :hide:recoiled ahnight sensing NedPlanner's glare 068_angry.gif.e6e3bad802304927655e1c48b61088cd.gif from under the bucket. "I was reading Ratsack's texteth messages (007_rofl.gif.58d9bf00d5ae63581bfb97e7e2434bca.gif) and PML ......well, it's starting to chafe." :ne_nau:

 

"Here, try this!" 030_dizzy.gif.e1d4f6909e07e95d7991b9fd0d8a2517.gif consoled Meth as he offered a sample from his latest batch....

"And I thought that pheta-mine just referred to 'my cheese'" he responded (but Captain Ahnight was always a bit innocent when it came to cheese).

 

"Who cut the cheese?" asked Ned.

 

"It's just me." responded Ahnight with rare candor. "I told you that I PML'd ..... well ..... I had an asparagas quiche yesterday, ..... as all good bushrangers do (not that there is anything wrong with that)."

 

"I'm sad to hear that you are chafed." said Pixie "Here, rub this on it."

 

However when Ahnight looked at her, her hand was outstrectched, but there was nothing in it.

 

................... she had, of course meant that he should .......................

 

 

Posted

...reach out and touch somebody. - Noiseworks

 

AhNights heart was racing:drool: (but it had been doing that a lot more than usual since one of the wires came off the pacemaker) and so trembling with antici.......................

 

.......................

 

029_crazy.gif.ebbc52a455bc8465c993e605ac0f576a.gif

 

.......................

 

.......................pation, he stretched his grubby mitts 018_hug.gif.0182e32b48b2df8aaf412ac8488cf68a.gif toward the hapless PixPax babe.gif.ff83c178fa2d1832ae1ee3ecbf0042bc.gif...

 

 

Posted
...reach out and touch somebody. - Noiseworks

AhNights heart was racing:drool: (but it had been doing that a lot more than usual since one of the wires came off the pacemaker) and so trembling with antici.......................

 

.......................pation, he stretched his grubby mitts 018_hug.gif.0182e32b48b2df8aaf412ac8488cf68a.gif toward the hapless PixPax babe.gif.ff83c178fa2d1832ae1ee3ecbf0042bc.gif...

"I am yours AHnights. Take me to heaven (so that takes the SSzara out of the equation)............ but you know that I am not a money grubber ............... however I have been checking out SB's growing AH empire, and I note that you have been growing exponentially and diversely from AHlocks to AH Surfboards, AH Korean Restaurant, AH Plant Hire, AH Tipper Trucks, AH Choo Asian Provisions (and I haven't made that up either), AH Zeebest Windown Cleaners (nor that), so as a multi discipline, multi lingual, multi skilled rich riveter, all I can say is go ahead and rivet."

 

"Thanks Pix" commented AhLow "As he opened the door of his 911 Turbo, folded both front seats forward and .......................

 

 

Posted

......began his pre-takeoff checks. Trim..nose down; Mixture..full rich; Flaps.. 1 notch. Ah it's sooo good to be taking off in this French built heavy transport, no one but the french.. he reflected savouring the rich scent of goose liver pate, Chanel nr V and Jean Moreau. Je suis une happy chappy! Oh yes, where were we? Pixie stretched langourously on the chaise-lounge, counted her diamond rings again, blue a kiss in Ah mee's direction and unexpectedly larfed. "Clear Fans" called Ah see...

 

 

Posted
......began his pre-takeoff checks. Trim..nose down; Mixture..full rich; Flaps.. 1 notch. Ah it's sooo good to be taking off in this French built heavy transport, no one but the french.. he reflected savouring the rich scent of goose liver pate, Chanel nr V and Jean Moreau. Je suis une happy chappy! Oh yes, where were we? Pixie stretched langourously on the chaise-lounge, counted her diamond rings again, blue a kiss in Ah mee's direction and unexpectedly died. "Clear Fans" called Ah see...

EDITOR'S & MODERATOR'S NOTE ........

 

The MethOozer is getting close to the bone and risks a banning.

 

So while he is new to the NES, The Editor will make an exception and explain.

 

Listen carefully, for I weel say zees only once.

 

In the same way that NES contributors were asked not to mention anything to do with the war in previous episodes when our Cherman and Japanese prayers were involved .......... given the age of all present NES'ers, MethBoy is asked, henceforthe, not to mention anything to do with death or dying.

 

And if'n he has any sympathy or compassion at all, he will edit his last post (oops, fruedian slip there ....).

 

Thanking you in anticipation

 

"I agree, Mr Editor" said Ratsack with a wheeze (from his mouth and elsewhere {for he had PML'd himself just like AhRow} "We need to scuttle all talk of death or dying."

 

"Do you meet "scuttle" as in the "Graf Spee" or as in "Fred"?" asked Pixie (who was actually just knapping back in post #4648).

 

"I mean "scuttle" as in ...........................

 

"And where?" my Aunt asks "Is the Tubaplayer?" because she hopes that he isn't trucked.

 

Plus a belated thanks to Metholated for the edit.

 

 

Posted
"Do you meet "scuttle" as in the "Graf Spee" or as in "Fred"?" asked Pixie (who was actually just knapping back in post #4648). 

 

"I mean "scuttle" as in ...........................

 

 

........ to run with short steps at a quick pace ......... (like a Rat?) ........... or that section of a car between the bonnet and the body.

 

 

 

"I know someone that wears a bonnet when they fly (not that there is anything wrong with that)." offered Pix the Pax "Their name is ........................

 

 

Posted
........ to run with short steps at a quick pace ......... (like a Rat?) ........... or that section of a car between the bonnet and the body.

"I know someone that wears a bonnet when they fly (not that there is anything wrong with that)." offered Pix the Pax "Their name is ........................

"Dont you dare reveal my secret" screamed Ahlookssogoodinabonnet outback.gif.37ae6591c77843ddd99b24886b527dd8.gif

 

"This could bring shame and scandal in the family (Johhny Chester)" 025_blush.gif.8e2ecc192cc98853ac4370dddcd7cf74.gif

 

"You know I only do it to......

 

 

Posted
"Dont you dare reveal my secret" screamed Ahlookssogoodinabonnet outback.gif.37ae6591c77843ddd99b24886b527dd8.gif"This could bring shame and scandal in the family (Johhny Chester)" 025_blush.gif.8e2ecc192cc98853ac4370dddcd7cf74.gif

 

"You know I only do it to......

....... show off, because it is a collector's item. It's a bonnet off a HO Falcon and I put my mellon out where the shaker is, then I .................

 

 

Posted
....... show off, because it is a collector's item. It's a bonnet off a HO Falcon and I put my mellon out where the shaker is, then I .................

...... become a HO (not that there is anything wrong with that), where I transform into an even more speedy Peregrine (Falcon) ...... named Peregrine ..... and I fly to Pixie, where she puts a leather mask on my head and ties leather straps around my ankles so that I will sit on her arm, out in her Aunt's garden, and we can .............

 

 

Posted
...... become a HO (not that there is anything wrong with that), where I transform into an even more speedy Peregrine (Falcon) ...... named Peregrine ..... and I fly to Pixie, where she puts a leather mask on my head and ties leather straps around my ankles so that I will sit on her arm, out in her Aunt's garden, and we can .............

"Ooooooohhhh, I wish you hadnt mentioned the leather gear. 066_naughty.gif.b89c2da7d619f57a774d625ba24a42f0.gif gagged.gif.32307cd4fd83e1e2e22f0fb211fbda56.gif :whip:

 

Now we will have all those NESsers with a penchant for leather wanting to........."

 

 

Posted
"Ooooooohhhh, I wish you hadnt mentioned the leather gear. 066_naughty.gif.b89c2da7d619f57a774d625ba24a42f0.gif gagged.gif.32307cd4fd83e1e2e22f0fb211fbda56.gif :whip:Now we will have all those NESsers with a penchant for leather wanting to........."

..... be unflaccid while partaking of fortisimo flagellation (aviation term), through the judicious use of a flagellum, that raises Meth's trusty Thrusty (aviation device) to new .............

 

PS Based on post # 4654 we certainly now know what lights Brynylon's (aviation personality) fire (which is a dangerous act in itself).

 

There are now sure to be leather merchants at Temora this Natfly to cater for the demand.

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
..... be unflaccid while partaking of fortisimo flagellation (aviation term), through the judicious use of a flagellum, that raises Meth's trusty Thrusty (aviation device) to new .............

....... heights & lengths."

 

"Ah ... ha" said Madam AhLash "This is just my cup-of-tea (old blokes aviation term), as I can .............

 

 

Posted

...see, (or is that sea?) that someone is up to...

 

 

Posted
...see, (or is that sea?) that someone is up to...

a little bit of scullduggery.

 

It's good to see a bit of young blood around here for a change, i'm rather partial to that, as it reminds me of my younger years said the Madam :thumb_up::cheer::spruce_up: who with her whip in hand burst into singing "Get em up, move em round, Rawhide 019_victory.gif.50f2b122bcc89595d268d83b8c33e0a3.gif Yeeeeeeeeha"

 

(Welcome back safe & sound Tomo)

 

 

Posted
a little bit of scullduggery.It's good to see a bit of young blood around here for a change, i'm rather partial to that, as it reminds me of my younger years said the Madam :thumb_up::cheer::spruce_up: who with her whip in hand burst into singing "Get em up, move em round, Rawhide 019_victory.gif.50f2b122bcc89595d268d83b8c33e0a3.gif Yeeeeeeeeha" (Welcome back safe & sound Tomo)

...out of tune and with a whistle of air hissing through the gaps in her teeth.

 

"Have a yam!" said ditdot (in morse of course and without sauce)

 

 

Posted
...out of tune and with a whistle of air hissing through the gaps in her teeth.

"Have a yam!" said ditdot (in morse of course and without sauce)

..... while investing his money on the bourse, thinking thoughts that were coarse, considering the use of force, running through the gorse, and what could be a worse curse (but not as bad as a hearse) than getting it scratched because he was, without being coarse, hung like a .......

 

My Aunt says "Welcome back Tomo" from where she reckons that her pen is lost under debris in your wet garden

 

 

Posted
..... while investing his money on the bourse, thinking thoughts that were coarse, considering the use of force, running through the gorse, and what could be a worse curse (but not as bad as a hearse) than getting it scratched because he was, without being coarse, hung like a ......./QUOTE]

....horse?

Posted
..... hung like a ......./QUOTE]

....horse?

That is illogical, a horse would not fit through the trapdoor of a gallows (Spike Milliganesque 007_rofl.gif.58d9bf00d5ae63581bfb97e7e2434bca.gif:rofl:) maybe we could use a rat instead...........augie.gif.346f47c3977a17668982a7a2e09685c9.gif

 

Posted
..... while investing his money on the bourse, thinking thoughts that were coarse, considering the use of force, running through the gorse, and what could be a worse curse (but not as bad as a hearse) than getting it scratched because he was, without being coarse, hung like a .......

.....South African rat's orse.....

 

 

Posted
.....South African rat's orse.....

As someone who worked in the gold and coal caper over there, I must say that is very funny, TurboYarpie.

 

"Don't use that ethnophaulism on me" said HansieTubb "Or you'll get the sahk from this NES"

 

"Because ....................... an Orse is an Orse of course, of course, and noone has heard of a talking Orse, unless of coarse that talking orse is the famours Mr ...................

 

 

Posted
"Because ....................... an Orse is an Orse of course, of course, and noone has heard of a talking Orse, unless of coarse that talking orse is the famours Mr ...................

Ed, the edumicated steeple-chaser who was always one jump ahead, like a chick I once knew, except she didn't talk about it much.

 

Meanwhile the Captains Irish Orse was led away to the speech therylypist to cure it's stutter, of course, of course.

 

 

 

Posted
Ed, the edumicated steeple-chaser who was always one jump ahead, like a chick I once knew, except she didn't talk about it much.

....... because she was an RAA member named Short-hop Sally.

 

"I stop my 912's heads from overheating by just flying short sectors between ............

 

 

Posted
....... because she was an RAA member named Short-hop Sally.

"I stop my 912's heads from overheating by just flying short sectors between ............

".....the ears, having a haircut every week, and flying in a T Shirt and shorts which only come down to my ankles"

 

There followed extensive postings from knowledgeable aviators, which included "we don't do this in Queensland", "If I wanter wear earmuffs I will, **** CASA", "it isn't the heat, it's the weather", "that engine has never worked from day one", "there are a lot of birds around this year due to the rain", "My wife's about to have a baby", "You'r ******wrong", "if you add some sticky tape to the underside of the LH Seat, and write your initials in texta on the other side, you'll get much better spin recovery", "I've never had that problem" (from the owner of a push bike).

 

 

Posted

..but it was a nice push bike, all decked out with clicker cards for the spokes on both wheels and the latest in GPS beacons!

 

"Even had to activate the emergency beacon yesterday" added the push bike rider. bounce.gif.1ff37f7384330975bf7be7976b8a6718.gif

 

"Yeah?!" quizzed SHSally :eek_yello:.

 

"Yep, one of the tyres went flat. 038_sweat.gif.0c111d92b3c69d7166f94b00a5b6bc0d.gif Can't take any chances with these things you know...

 

=========================

 

...the NES...continues to do my head in!!!

Which one???? augie.gif.346f47c3977a17668982a7a2e09685c9.gif

 

 

Posted
the "right "one ...

"Well there's your problem!" giggle.gif.ad1278a6733e2c87a6f26c6d477d449a.gif scoffed ShortHopSal, "You need to use the left one as every one knows the left is the creative side .... " :fish:

 

 

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