DoubleB Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 :loopy:obviously i was way to late with that. to undestand go back to page one, it might make sense
ahlocks Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 .. or at least a big.... ..night picking pine tree needles from his derriere. "Ohhh!! can I help with that?" gushed Short hop Sally as she rummaged through her flight bag for.... ============== Since when has NES ever made sense DoubleB?
Bryon Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 ..night picking pine tree needles from his derriere. "Ohhh!! can I help with that?" gushed Short hop Sally as she rummaged through her flight bag for.... ============== : .....for a flask of medicinal scotch with which to both sterilise the area :doctor:to save slarti from infection and to give her a little bit of dutch courage to face the jobbie ahead...
planedriver Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 ..night picking pine tree needles from his derriere. "Ohhh!! can I help with that?" gushed Short hop Sally as she rummaged through her flight bag for.... her tweeers Just one jab from one of those things can, (depending on the age of the donor) land you in all sorts of trouble. . Trust me! I'm the NES's ............despite that Bryon being so fast with his responses
Captain Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 "Hurry (and pucker) up" yelled Slartiphartblast "As it looks like I have been bitten on the funnel by a Fingerweb". "Who, oh who will be willing to lance it and remove the poison .... I wonder?" commented the NES story teller (who has proudly reflected on the fact that BB has chucked in a couple of disconnected lines but the good old NES hadn't skipped a beat, quickly wandering off on another tangent that was equally as good as the tangent that we were already on. Welcome to our nightmare BB.) "Fear not Slarti, for I will suck the poison out" said .....................
DarkSarcasm Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 "Fear not Slarti, for I will suck the poison out" said ..................... ...Long-Hop Louise, who was Sally's....
Captain Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ...Long-Hop Louise, who was Sally's.... ... naughty Sister, whereas S-HS's good sister, Medium-Hop Marylin, had spent her formative years in a the St Lycoming Convent, where she specialised in cleaning up oil leaks etc, while Long-Hop Lousie (the black sheep of the family) was practicing her poison sucking techniques by ........
ahlocks Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ..by sucking a tennis ball though a garden hose. SlartiSoreButt's :crazy:eyes rolled back like a toppled gyro (obligatory aviation reference) as he waited for....
Captain Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ..by sucking a tennis ball though a garden hose. SlartiSoreButt's :crazy:eyes rolled back like a toppled gyro (obligatory aviation reference) as he waited for.... ... the sound of a voice that would indicate whether he had drawn Short-Hop, Long-Hop or Medium-Hop. The last thing that Slartiphanticizer expected to hear was the voice of .......
Bryon Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ... the sound of a voice that would indicate whether he had drawn Short-Hop, Long-Hop or Medium-Hop. The last thing that Slartiphanticizer expected to hear was the voice of ....... ........Beryl, the older sister of Mavis and first cuzzin to Nana. Now Beryl had failed the entrance exam to MILF school :yuk: and as a consequence had let herself go a little bit. :jawdrop: For the past 10-20 years Beryl had been content to live the solitary life of a crone, but had lately taken to dreaming of romance again.:velvt: Having followed the exploits of SlartiIgottabiggun on NES, she decided to use her feminine wiles to entice the young(ish) SlartiIgottabiggun into a romantic encounter. So armed with a veritable arsenal of alluring attractors, she...........
ahlocks Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ...sashayed toward her intended target. SlartiWouldn'tmindaCrackatthat :smoke:stood transfixed ('cuz he couldn't sit just yet...) admiring the smooth lines of his objet du de'sir. His gaze lingered lustfully at the golden glow of her tanned skin and a slight tremor ran across his lower lip as he admired the dappled shadows that accentuated her curves. His mind wandered :i_dunno: to thoughts of gently caressing the subtle bumps in the fabric she was wearing, when the clatter of someone stumbling in high heels behind him startled his attention away from the cheetah....
turboplanner Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ...sashayed toward her intended target. SlartiWouldn'tmindaCrackatthat :smoke:stood transfixed ('cuz he couldn't sit just yet...) admiring the smooth lines of his objet du de'sir. His gaze lingered lustfully at the golden glow of her tanned skin and a slight tremor ran across his lower lip as he admired the dappled shadows that accentuated her curves. His mind wandered :i_dunno: to thoughts of gently caressing the subtle bumps in the fabric she was wearing, when the clatter of someone stumbling in high heels behind him startled his attention away from the cheetah.... .....just as he was about to say to himself "But why the hell did I paint her orange?" However the clatter of the high heels sent his mid totally blank and his base. instincts pumping. "Hi" said the Wagga Hotelier, "Where can I find some action around here" Slarti cringed; thie was the first time he had ever seen his good friend like. He thought of the many macho nights they'd spent together throwing stubbies down their throats, and......
Captain Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 .....just as he was about to say to himself "But why the hell did I paint her orange?" However the clatter of the high heels sent his mid totally blank and his base. instincts pumping. "Hi" said the Wagga Hotelier, "Where can I find some action around here" Slarti cringed; thie was the first time he had ever seen his good friend like. He thought of the many macho nights they'd spent together throwing stubbies down their throats, and...... ...... adding that well known rural line of "Geeeez it's dry ....................no hang on, geeeeez it's wet .......... geeeeez it's flooding ........ and geeeeez it's dry again." "No it's not" responded AhLot the Harlot, who was done up in a slinky skin tight lycra cheetah suit (and nobody could see his undie line (erky perky)). "Oops, ......... I have been spotted" he added "I must slink away into the night (but I'll be in hangar No 6)." "Don't go" replied ................
turboplanner Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 ...... adding that well known rural line of "Geeeez it's dry ....................no hang on, geeeeez it's wet .......... geeeeez it's flooding ........ and geeeeez it's dry again." "No it's not" responded AhLot the Harlot, who was done up in a slinky skin tight lycra cheetah suit (and nobody could see his undie line (erky perky)). "Oops, ......... I have been spotted" he added "I must slink away into the night (but I'll be in hangar No 6)." "Don't go" replied ................ .......Slartiwasn'tfast, "Show us your tips"!...........
Captain Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 .......Slartiwasn'tfast, "Show us your tips"!........... Ahlot pulled his jump suit up, scratched himself near where the sun doesn't shine, and whispered into SlartiBartSimpson's shell-like in a soft cooing type voice that many NES'ers haven't heard for 30 years or so, and said "Get a load of these tips, Slarts: 1 Always check out ya valve guides, not to mention the leader at the local girl guides (Brown Owl or Arkala are sure to look good to a bloke of your vintage and experience). 2 Never look at Lockies in lycra, as you can sometimes see where they keep their lock-picks. 3 Many Firies wear lycra when they overnight at the station. 4 Squeeze those rivets like there is no tomorrow, particularly near the wing-tips. 5 Rats are very attractive. 6 Pray that you get Short-Hop as she is a cracker. 7 Do the spots on my cheetah lycra jump suit make my bum look big? 8 Hangar 6 is the place to be. 9 ....................."
ahlocks Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 .. and keep an eye out for BB's sister, Double D....
turboplanner Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 .. and keep an eye out for BB's sister, Double D.... "Double B and Double D are frequently seen at the local B&S" said Goldenrat, whose address interestingly is listed as Moron, NSW............
Captain Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 "Double B and Double D are frequently seen at the local B&S" said Goldenrat, whose address interestingly is listed as Moron, NSW............ ........ so the tone of the NES darkened, as regular contributors turned on themselves with a viciousness hitherto unforeseen, with an attack based on wordplay with the names of the joints in which they live. Perhaps Tubb is just suffering from withdrawal after not pinching 1/2 a tonne of mints every time he comes to Moron (Editor's Note). "This tome now has a poor tone" commented the Knome, from home. "I shall write a poem before ElRatsack starts to foam and moan about .........
turboplanner Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 ........ so the tone of the NES darkened, as regular contributors turned on themselves with a viciousness hitherto unforeseen, with an attack based on wordplay with the names of the joints in which they live. Perhaps Tubb is just suffering from withdrawal after not pinching 1/2 a tonne of mints every time he comes to Moron (Editor's Note). "This tome now has a poor tone" commented the Knome, from home. "I shall write a poem before ElRatsack starts to foam and moan about ......... "Jabirus and Cockatoos, "engines that go clunk in the night" 'gearboxes that die of fright" "lycra clad firies" "boot shod fairies" " and teeth auriforous............"
Bryon Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 "Jabirus and Cockatoos,"engines that go clunk in the night" 'gearboxes that die of fright" "lycra clad firies" "boot shod fairies" " and teeth auriforous............" "........which can be quite horrificus" "But the mind boggles at bootshod lycra clad fairies sitting astride a sheeta with the wind in their..............."
turboplanner Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 "........which can be quite horrificus""But the mind boggles at bootshod lycra clad fairies sitting astride a sheeta with the wind in their..............." ...fishnets
Captain Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 ...fishnets "Did someone call me, or are you after Ahlocks?" asked Double D "And now that we have this nautical reference I can disclose that I am looking for "Long-John" Silver (if you get my drift) (aviation term)." "I regret that I am not a pirate, but I am irate & I do have a parrot" said SlartiAhJimLad "But would you accept "Medium-John" ..............?
turboplanner Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 "Did someone call me, or are you after Ahlocks?" asked Double D "And now that we have this nautical reference I can disclose that I am looking for "Long-John" Silver (if you get my drift) (aviation term)." "I regret that I am not a pirate, but I am irate & I do have a parrot" said SlartiAhJimLad "But would you accept "Medium-John" ..............? But Double D was in a flap (aviation term). She was always confusing himself with LycraLocks and whenever she heard the vague and feeble call of the Rat, she could never work out if he was talking to her, or simply belching with sound in his unique way - not unlike today's female tennis players. She straightened her undercarriage (aviation term) just in case...........
Captain Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 But Double D was in a flap (aviation term). She was always confusing himself with LycraLocks and whenever she heard the vague and feeble call of the Rat, she could never work out if he was talking to her, or simply belching with sound in his unique way - not unlike today's female tennis players. She straightened her undercarriage (aviation term) just in case........... ....... she was elevated (aviation term) to a point (aviation term) where AhRocks-Off (aviation deviant) could have access to her empennage (aviation term) and he could whisk (aviation term) her off to heaven (really big and "heavy" aviation term), to have his ..............
turboplanner Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 ....... she was elevated (aviation term) to a point (aviation term) where AhRocks-Off (aviation deviant) could have access to her empennage (aviation term) and he could whisk (aviation term) her off to heaven (really big and "heavy" aviation term), to have his .............. ....empennage (aviation term) immersed (Search & Rescue bros term) in hot water (aviation term for Rotarix who couldn't get around to real air cooling)............
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