The Never Ending Story

[BigPete]

Mon Deu! :star:

 

If ze Craptain :heart: iz who he sez he iz, then, where iz ze how you say, ze bird, ze Parrot For it is not on his sholder. :ah_oh: PeirotPete muses to himself. Le CrapeeCaptitain :heart: is clever enough to wear ze eye patch and to have ze woodern appendage, but where is Polly

 

And why doesn't the Captain use emoticons I'llGiveMyLeftWhatNotIfItHelpsAviationIan has provided for the multitude these clever little colourful smiley's at no cost to the user. :thumb_up: Who's making ze profit out of our hosts generosity (I wonder if I call sell my Telstra shares to Ian (for what I originally paid for them ) if I promise to use the funds on AVGAS). ;);)

 

DependablePlaney has again come to the rescue (although he wasn't fast enough to beat StuffTheCustomersI'mGluedToMyComputerGeoff2MinusParrotCaptain :heart: (which means Geoff1 got my vote, although I do like PlonkerGeoff) from posting before him. You may have to read this a few times if your comprehensivley challenged (we regulars will have no problem I'm sure) to make any sense out of it. :big_grin:

 

After reading the above parrotgraph a few times :confused: BloodSugarVeryLowPete :yuk: realizes he needs to eat.........

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

..... where is Polly

..... these clever little colourful smiley's at no cost to the user.

 

..... I do like PlonkerGeoff

 

..... BloodSugarVeryLowPete realizes he needs to eat.........

 

 

With regard to the above quotes, in order, I advise the following:

 

..... Polly is a northern hemisphere symbol for ze pirate. In Ozz it is a bird that starts with a J.

 

..... If those smilies are at "no cost" why has the government felt the need to guarantee all smiley repositories, including personal suppositories of smilies, up to and including 10,000 (which tired&emoticonPete and loosewithhissmiliesPlaney will use up in no time). And further, why has the Total Environment Centre today issued a press release to the effect that each emoticon generates the equivalent of 175 kgs of CO2, requiring se-castration?

 

..... It is noted that Pete likes Geoff, and I'm sure I have seen that written on a wall somewhere down Chewka way.

 

..... the Riverland Girl pricked up her ears when she heard that Peter needs to eat, and she confirmed that it is not broken but needs fixing.

 

Le Crappeee

 

(The pen of my aunt is in the garden)

 

 

[planedriver]

Don't go away, there's more:big_grin:

 

While the man of the moment, takes a break for a honey and banana with sugar- coated strawberries sambo to get his sugar CHT right:thumb_up:,Planey has been doing a bit of serious thinking:loopy:.

 

Where did the name crappycaptain come from:question:

 

Is it the fault of missing "Polly" who is usually fed cheap imported vindaloo bird seed from India:question:

 

The answer is NO!

 

At the last Nohopetown fly-in, the Capitin was looking skyward when a flock of birds flew over, and he copped one in the eye.:yuk::yuk::yuk:

 

The always HelpfullPete:big_grin: asked whether he'd like a toilet tissue, but the Capitin snapped back "don't be stupid, whats the point:question:,the bird will be miles away by now"

 

So there you have it, the facts once again from TriviachampPlaindrivel:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:with another 5 bobs worth of smileys to stir up the tightbutundercovercaptain:pig:

 

 

[Captain]

Don't go away, there's more:big_grin:

While the man of the moment, takes a break for a honey and banana with sugar- coated strawberries sambo to get his sugar CHT right:thumb_up:,Planey has been doing a bit of serious thinking:loopy:.

 

Where did the name crappycaptain come from:question:

 

Is it the fault of missing "Polly" who is usually fed cheap imported vindaloo bird seed from India:question:

 

The answer is NO!

 

At the last Nohopetown fly-in, the Capitin was looking skyward when a flock of birds flew over, and he copped one in the eye.:yuk::yuk::yuk:

 

The always HelpfullPete:big_grin: asked whether he'd like a toilet tissue, but the Capitin snapped back "don't be stupid, whats the point:question:,the bird will be miles away by now"

 

So there you have it, the facts once again from TriviachampPlaindrivel:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:with another 5 bobs worth of smileys to stir up the tightbutundercovercaptain:pig:

And another 2.8 tonnes of CO2 goes up the stack to damage the polar bears and the cute little white seal things that they used to hit on the head with clubs.

 

Methinks these smileys are as devastating to the vironment as moo-cows pharting.

 

The Planey has obviously a strong background with investigative reporting, and he is good at counting posts too, so he would make a fine administrator ..... or an ASIS manager which Le Crapppee spoted in his trip to Sydney on the big Kanga yesterday, where he noted in the book that ASIS are looking for fine young specimens (or was it spacemans) to lead our nation's defence against the bad guys (Tecnam & SportStar owners). Planey would be a prime candidate, I reckon.

 

I hope glycemicPete is OK and isn't lying on the bed with his eyelids flickering.

 

"Don't worry, he does that all the time after sex" said putsupwithalotmrsPete, Geoff & the Riverland Lassie.

 

Le Crappeee

 

(The pen of my aunt is in the garden)

 

 

[planedriver]

Now it's stopped raining and the sposed2b retired Planey heads off to fix someones automatic security gates, he departs for a while wondering why zercrappyi'lldeliberatelymisleaduCaptain has not copped (to coin a phrase) a few comments from our mate Paley who normally keeps "obbo" on these sorts of things:question:

 

"Breaka-Breaka Paley, you gotta copy" 10/9.

 

 

[BigPete]

Raining:question: Raining:question: Is Planey living in another country What Bloody rain

 

I suspect Palexxxx has a real job and is busy doing it. :thumb_up: Not like us three amigos who have way too much time on their hands. ;) (although I am going flying just before twilight. Yay.

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

Raining:question: Raining:question: Is Planey living in another country What Bloody rain

 

If Chewka-centricPete would just take the trouble to go visit Weatherzone and set the radar on 12 hours he would see that much of the southeast has copped a bit of a battering in the last little while, and Le Crappppeee can attest to that having bounced into Wagga on a Dash 8 about 90 minutes late last night after bouncing all over the sky while diverting almost via Dubbo.

 

"It sure has been wet" said the Riverland Girl.

 

So while Planey goes off to do a cashy this arvo, the entire forum waits for Paley to stick his head up ....................................

 

He must be Palezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz at the moment.

 

Le Crappeee

 

(The pen of my aunt is in the garden)

 

 

[Captain]

...... as he marches in with a left-clonk, left-clonk

 

left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp,left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, left-clomp, ..........

 

Oh ...................... sorry .......................... I have forgotten what I was going say after walking that far.

 

These forums are not very handicap-friendly, are they?

 

Regards

 

Le Crappee

 

If my aunt's pen isn't broken, please don't attempt rectification.

 

 

[BigPete]

:thumb_up:So now you want a ramp :ah_oh::ah_oh::ah_oh:

 

We had a guy here in town who complained bitterly about how hard it was to cross the local traffic lighted intersection (when we only had one set of lights - now we've got three ) as there was no ramp for his wheelchair.

 

So at the cost of around 175,000 the local council put some in. :thumb_up:

 

moved across town about two months later. :yuk::yuk::yuk:

 

So guess what Captain :heart: :big_grin:

 

no

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

no

So heartlessbastardamputeehaterPete has shown his true colours.

 

I have the meloncholy duty to report to the thousands of NES readers that not only has cold&calousPete rejected the pegleg Crappee's request for assistance, but rubyournoseinitPete has knocked off the little rubber thingy that was on the end of my peg-leg.

 

So whenever I now go onto the lino I go left-clomp-swish-thump, and heartlessPete becomes teeheePete (and sometimes he laughs so hard he is peepeePete, and needs to be wingsPete).

 

Regards

 

Le Crappeee

 

Please fix my aunt's pen that is in the garden, even if it is not broken

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

So while Planey goes off to do a cashy this arvo, the entire forum waits for Paley to stick his head up ....................................

 

[ATTACH]6704.vB[/ATTACH]

 

I've been working.

 

 

 

[planedriver]

So heartlessbastardamputeehaterPete has shown his true colours. I have the meloncholy duty to report to the thousands of NES readers that not only has cold&calousPete rejected the pegleg Crappee's request for assistance, but rubyournoseinitPete has knocked off the little rubber thingy that was on the end of my peg-leg.

:wave:Captain this is really sad !

 

PsycologistPete was actually conducting a character test on you, and you did'nt even realise it.:confused:

 

The test was to find out whether:

 

(1) you'd take it in good spirit and simply replace it at a cost of 60 cents.

 

(2) you'd whinge like buggery on the NES to try and get a bit of sympathy, so Ian starts a "thingy fund" for forum members to make donations.

 

(3) you cut a bit of rubber off Pete's nosewheel tyre at the next fly-in, say nothing, and quietly super-glue on the end of your stump while nobody is looking.

 

(4) Leave it as it is, to give all your mates a good laugh:laugh: YES PLEASE.

 

Sadly, you did not get a very good score, but to help you out, i'll donate 2cents:thumb_up:, if we can find another 29 members to put you out of your misery.

 

Kind commiserations

 

Planey

 

 

[BigPete]

So heartlessbastardamputeehaterPete has shown his true colours.

So whenever I now go onto the lino I go left-clomp-swish-thump, and heartlessPete becomes ...........

Now that's a mental picture. He he he he he he he he

 

Oops - :confused::confused::confused: Damn

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[hihosland]

Says Captain

 

"So whenever I now go onto the lino I go left-clomp-swish-thump, and heartless Pete becomes ........ "

 

really glad that Riverland girl had talked him out of installing carpet .

 

 

[Captain]

:wave:Captain this is really sad !

PsycologistPete was actually conducting a character test on you, and you did'nt even realise it.:confused:

 

The test was to find out whether:

 

(1) you'd take it in good spirit and simply replace it at a cost of 60 cents.

 

(2) you'd whinge like buggery on the NES to try and get a bit of sympathy, so Ian starts a "thingy fund" for forum members to make donations.

 

 

As the thousands of fans of the NES would know, Le Crappee is the non-whinging stoic type who would always (normally) opt for item (1).

 

The problem was that every time he tried to go to the local hardware he went left-clomp-whizzz-360degreecartwheel-thump-bleed-hurt on the fancy porcelain tiles that are thru the house.

 

Porcelain has therefore been proven to be as unsympathetic as heartlessbastardamputeehaterPete, who Le Crappee could hear being incontinentPete from 2 hrs and 5 mins flying time away.

 

So Le Crap was forced to go for option (2) as he lay on the tiles receiving the plasma (and watching FoxSports on his plasma).

 

But all is not bad news dear NES readers. For the Crapster has received an email offer from Cirque de Soleil to show his extraordinary one-legged stilt, 360 (soon to be 520) degree catherine (or whatever her name is) wheel and hurt-himself skills while working closely with a young nubile gymnast type lady from the Francaise Riverland.

 

"We weeel supply a rubber stopper thingy zat is made in Fronceais, whatever ozzzer rubber vous need, et vous obviously speek the lingo too, so vous are a natural, monseur Le Crapppeeee (et what are vous like at planting bumbs in multi-painted ships?)".

 

The adventure continues ....................... however Le Crap is aware that he may be stealing the orange-light from staroftheshowPete (see post #447) and faded off into the night with a left-clomp-whizzz-416degreecartwheel-thump-bleed-unconscious .............. (but who typed those ....'s then?) ...................

 

PS - G'day hiho, how did you know that my knees had such carpet burns and doesn't [:-)X> breech some forum rule about explicit sex?

 

PPS (like incontinentPete does) Planey's option (3) will occur if the Chewca Fly-In ever occurs. What is the latest news on zat, silver plate?

 

 

[hihosland]

Quote Capitan

 

PS - G'day hiho, how did you know that my knees had such carpet burns and doesn't [:-)X> breech some forum ruleabout explicit sex? 'tis the sign of a gentleman those carpet-burned knees ;-

 

Riverland girl will be impressed,

 

although somewhat confused will she be about a gentleman who confuses his breech with his breach.

 

 

[Captain]

Riverland girl will be impressed, although somewhat confused will she be about a gentleman who confuses his breech with his breach.

Apologies hiho. I still had mon French spell check activated.

 

Regarde

 

Le Crapppeee

 

Le plum de ma tante is een ze garden

 

 

[hihosland]

il n'ya pas de problème

 

merci

 

m' Capitaine

 

 

[Captain]

Postscript ........... Does Le Crappeee's "Grand Poo Baaaaa" beat BigPete's "Air Commode" with a straight flush? {A little bit of toilet humour there}.

 

 

Air Commodore

 

Airstrip: YECH

 

Join Date: Jun 2006

 

Posts: 844

 

Gallery: 0

 

 

"TheGrandPooBah YouCanCallMeSirCaptain"

 

Airstrip: YSWG, YKKA & Farm Strip

 

Join Date: May 2006

 

Posts: 1,010

 

Gallery: 0

 

 

[BigPete]

We interupt this Never Ending Story with a few short words from one our main players, MasterOfTheSmileyYouNeverHadItSoGoodPete - :big_grin:

 

"So the great provider of the forums SwamiMyDad'sNameIsJackAndI'mJustIan is in cahoots with the FrenchConnectionLeCrappyCapitian :heart: who also happens to be part German as well." said SmoothAsPete. :big_grin:

 

"That would make him 30% French, 17% German and 53% Spanish as in El Bastardo.

 

But that's all right, thumb_down hell, he even gets his own way with the bit on the side (of the forums - TheGrandPooBah). But don't you worry about us cobber - oh no, we were just your friends, :hug:your mates, :heart: your compadres, :black_eye: but that's Ok, you cuddle up to your new friends in high places, :ah_oh: we'll keep doing the hard yards without you."

 

"This is WhyCan'tIBeFamousLikeElCapitanoTotallyPOPete saying Hasta La Vista Baby"

 

We now return you to normal programming.....:confused::confused::confused:

 

regrets

 

:raise_eyebrow::raise_eyebrow::raise_eyebrow:

 

 

[Captain]

We interupt this Never Ending Story with a few short words from one our main players, MasterOfTheSmileyYouNeverHadItSoGoodPete - :big_grin:

"So the great provider of the forums SwamiMyDad'sNameIsJackAndI'mJustIan is in cahoots with the FrenchConnectionLeCrappyCapitian :heart: who also happens to be part German as well." said SmoothAsPete. :big_grin:

 

"That would make him 30% French, 17% German and 53% Spanish as in El Bastardo.

 

But that's all right, thumb_down hell, he even gets his own way with the bit on the side (of the forums - TheGrandPooBah). But don't you worry about us cobber - oh no, we were just your friends, :hug:your mates, :heart: your compadres, :black_eye: but that's Ok, you cuddle up to your new friends in high places, :ah_oh: we'll keep doing the hard yards without you."

 

"This is WhyCan'tIBeFamousLikeElCapitanoTotallyPOPete saying Hasta La Vista Baby"

 

We now return you to normal programming.....:confused::confused::confused:

 

regrets

 

If it's not broken don't fix it

Alas, Peter's heart was broken ..... and Ian fixed it with Pete's own cute little moniker ... with the result that all was well. (Looks like Ian really does want temperamental&petulantPete to run the Chewka Fly-In after all).

 

That's all well and good until Planey, Paley, Flyer, Hiho & Geoff et al all take their bats and balls, give a jaunty "Hasta La Vista", and go home as well, until they each get a cute little elevation in status, too.

 

You have made a rod for your own thing, I think, Ian.

 

Le Crap (clomp-whizz)

 

 

[Captain]

For the Crapster has received an email offer from Cirque de Soleil .....................(et what are vous like at planting bumbs in multi-painted ships?).

 

 

"I've never been anywhere near a sheep's bumb (be they multi-coloured or just plain)" said Le Crap, "Although I know a few blokes in the NES who may have".

 

"No, you dopey Skippy el bastardo" said the secret cirque-us man "Would you be willing to put a bumb in a sheep for us (une bateau in ze harbour)?

 

"You are on the wrong side of the Tasman for that mate .... eh, bro?" said Crappee, who was antagonistic but not animalistic.

 

"Most people think we are a fancy circus, but we are really the Secret Circle division of the Gov't, going after any GreenPeace gymnasts why are trying to save dumbells and rings-of-fire"

 

"I know a few blokes in the NES who fit both of those descriptions too" said Geoff.

 

"There's .................................

 

 

[Captain]

"When you refer to the bum of the ship, do you mean the keel?" asked frenchily challenged Le Crappee.

 

"No" said the secret agent, whose english was equally sheet-haus. "We don't want to keel them, we just want to shake them up a little".

 

(And so the never Ending Story became the one-man secret story, whose aunt's pen has got lost out in the garden)

 

:broken_heart::yuk::hittinghead::hittinghead:

 

 

[BigPete]

Well Captain :heart: it's obvious to me that the other less favoured story tellers are having a bit of a dummy spit. :yuk: No contributios from any one else (I was travelling, and could not get to a computer).

 

Sorry to leave you alone by yourself, :confused: I can see you are getting quite desperate, resorting to the use of the expensive smiley characters :big_grin: and inventing little tales about the poor French Secret Police will do you no good I'm tippen' (just don't sail in anything!). :ah_oh:

 

I must leave you know to your own devices (or is that vices ) as PartyAnimalPete has to partake in the merry making ;) and drinking :thumb_up: at a family gathering.

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

PS My Aunt's garden is full of pencils.

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

I must leave you know to your own devices (or is that vices ) as PartyAnimalPete has to partake in the merry making ;) and drinking :thumb_up: at a family gathering.

........and so GrandPierre bravely set forth on his trek to faraway lands, far far away from Chuka to where some family were gathering for what purpose we don't know. Were they celebrating the arrival of an even LittlerPete? Were they hoping to see if GrandPierre was going to share his box of family favourite chocolates with them? or were they banding together a search party in order to help find Crappy's pen of his aunt, hopelessly lost, in the garden?.........

 

We will have to wait with baited breath to hear from the Chuka Codger himself to see what eventuated.