Captain Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 ....short man syndrome".... "I like sin (debauchery term)" was the Locky's response "And I love dromes (aviation term), but there is nothing about me that is short (except some/most/many/a lot/quite-a-few (strike out that which does not apply) of my landings (aviation term))." "Ah ha" wrote DarthSarcastic "I have caught you telling porkies (legal term), because your aviation (aviation (aviation (aviation term etc etc etc etc to finity))) is ..............
turboplanner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "......long." Then she went on to ask: "If I apply partial flap, hold my foot slightly on Left rudder, and set the radio at the destination frequency before departure, how would that affect cruise speed?"
Captain Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "......long." Then she went on to ask: "If I apply partial flap, hold my foot slightly on Left rudder, and set the radio at the destination frequency before departure, how would that affect cruise speed?" "That would be fine" responded her local RAA Board Member "But just don"t ask me for my phone number, make sure it is your right foot on the left rudder and all will be sweet ...... but it will certainly add to the excitement for you, which, after all, is what the RAA is all about. That is why we allow unauthorised formation low circuits to be flown at Natfly." "Sweeeeet" she said in an Eric Cartman style voice "And what if I ...................
turboplanner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "That would be fine" responded her local RAA Board Member "But just don"t ask me for my phone number, make sure it is your right foot on the left rudder and all will be sweet ...... but it will certainly add to the excitement for you, which, after all, is what the RAA is all about. That is why we allow unauthorised formation low circuits to be flown at Natfly." "Sweeeeet" she said in an Eric Cartman style voice "And what if I ................... "......just quote you on that" she said
Captain Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "......just quote you on that" she said "No wuckers" he replied "But just don't ring me, whatver you do, as I hate being bothered by low-lifes like members or staff etc, as I am a very busy man and can't allocate time to answer new-fangled devices like phones, (now has anybody seen my sextant?), and that is because I am a .................
turboplanner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "No wuckers" he replied "But just don't ring me, whatver you do, as I hate being bothered by low-lifes like members or staff etc, as I am a very busy man and can't allocate time to answer new-fangled devices like phones, (now has anybody seen my sextant?), and that is because I am a ................. "....representative of the members"
Captain Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "....representative of the members" "So" commented ElRatPoo "After Tubbo's post #4793, the NES has turned from a happy-go-lucky inuendo forum to a political hot-bed." "Did someone mention hot-bed?" asked Mavis wearing her new politically aware twin-set "Now that's what I call .................
slartibartfast Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "Did someone mention hot-bed?" asked Mavis wearing her new politically aware twin-set "Now that's what I call ................. ... a member", she said admiring Tubbo's constituency. "Can I represent it?" Tubbo was taken aback, although not as far as he should be. "Well I didn't vote for you!", came a voice from stage right. Tubbo spun around and saw .......
turboplanner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 "So" commented ElRatPoo "After Tubbo's post #4793, the NES has turned from a happy-go-lucky inuendo forum to a political hot-bed." "Did someone mention hot-bed?" asked Mavis wearing her new politically aware twin-set "Now that's what I call ................. "politically correct, although I probably would have called it a rat's nest judging by the smell" "Turbo was mortally rectified by Poo's comments. "All I was trying, in my verbose way was to alert the Authorities to a threat to a sovereign Nation" he contionued "and not a minute too soon either - notice how often no when you look at photos of PNG people, they're grinning from ear to ear"
turboplanner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 ... a member", she said admiring Tubbo's constituency. "Can I represent it?" Tubbo was taken aback, although not as far as he should be. "Well I didn't vote for you!", came a voice from stage right. Tubbo spun around and saw ....... (a) that he'd been beaten to the post and: (b) a Greens voter
Captain Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 (a) that he'd been beaten to the post and:(b) a Greens voter ........ and not just any Greens voter either, for it was Bob Brown in the pilot's seat of the Bigglesworth Cheetah ...... that was still bug guts green but had a big sign on the side that read "Stick a tick in Brownies' box". "This is my re-election campaign vehicle" said Bob, as he clicked off another photo that were not as good as Ross's "And who gives a Rat's (apologies Skipper) about burning fossil fuel when you are having this much fun, it's way better than my Prius, but I wonder when they'll make a Hybrid Cheetah" commented Brownie to the assembled journos, getting back into his wowzer character. "Stop take'n over the NES, like you've highjacked Julia & the Government" yelled ElRatPoop "As I want to focus on the way that the NES discussion has been elevated by the presence of SlartiButtPlug. I guess that Tubbo's # 4793 rant really had an effect. Next thing the big boss Ian will be here and then we'll ......................
turboplanner Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 ........ and not just any Greens voter either, for it was Bob Brown in the pilot's seat of the Bigglesworth Cheetah ...... that was still bug guts green but had a big sign on the side that read "Stick a tick in Brownies' box". "This is my re-election campaign vehicle" said Bob, as he clicked off another photo that were not as good as Ross's "And who gives a Rat's (apologies Skipper) about burning fossil fuel when you are having this much fun, it's way better than my Prius, but I wonder when they'll make a Hybrid Cheetah" commented Brownie to the assembled journos, getting back into his wowzer character. "Stop take'n over the NES, like you've highjacked Julia & the Government" yelled ElRatPoop "As I want to focus on the way that the NES discussion has been elevated by the presence of SlartiButtPlug. I guess that Tubbo's # 4793 rant really had an effect. Next thing the big boss Ian will be here and then we'll ...................... "...how the Directors are managing the staff who are managing the assistants who are sending out subscriptions, none of these being aviation terms, so we could be in trouble" With that, Ratpoop turned and gave Brownie a sample. "Wasn't it great hearing from Slartibarkedatlast" said Turbo, "I wonder if he wants us to bring up his landing methods"
Bryon Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 "...how the Directors are managing the staff who are managing the assistants who are sending out subscriptions, none of these being aviation terms, so we could be in trouble" With that, Ratpoop turned and gave Brownie a sample. "Wasn't it great hearing from Slartibarkedatlast" said Turbo, "I wonder if he wants us to bring up his landing methods" "Dont you dare bring up anything" yelled Mavis "I have just polished this floor so that Elratdroppings doesn't......
turboplanner Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 "Dont you dare bring up anything" yelled Mavis"I have just polished this floor so that Elratdroppings doesn't...... "always do waht he always did and so always gets what he always got"
Bryon Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 "always do waht he always did and so always gets what he always got" Which means that somewhere there is something that someone wants but noone wants to own up to who owns it As I have always said: Ladies of the night (Mavis Who?), possum skin thongs, a bottle of cheap homemade whisky and a rodent of ill repute will give you...........
planedriver Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 more than you bargained for. But who the hell is this bloody Mavis you're all on about these days cried Nanna? when so many on here have enjoyed the loose morals of yours truly, while we have searched for the non-existant pen in my garden. There's been a Lustylocko and a RustyRatsac who always carries a can of WD40 (not that there is any thing wrong with that).) If you really need it, you really need it, we respect that. End of story,we'll say no more co's he has four stripes and tends to pull rank, as well. Just because the LustyLoko suggested we put a tick in Brownies Box (political term following this weekends MardiGras) the majority here would abstain, bearing in mind the consequenses, passionate in the view that it takes all types. CharleCheetah who has obstained from regular appearances as Cheeta's tend to do, rises occasionally with a smile on his face, from the long grass from which many of our feline followers with camera phones get snap-happy in the hopes of making an extra few bucks like Victorian cheerleaders. Locksylonghorn and RustyRatoosla felt quite happy with their manly images, till Nanna claims they tend to make mountains out of mole-hills. Bryon kept quiet and said nothing in case.............
Captain Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 more than you bargained for.But who the hell is this bloody Mavis you're all on about these days cried Nanna? when so many on here have enjoyed the loose morals of yours truly, while we have searched for the non-existant pen in my garden. There's been a Lustylocko and a RustyRatsac who always carries a can of WD40 (not that there is any thing wrong with that).) If you really need it, you really need it, we respect that. End of story,we'll say no more co's he has four stripes and tends to pull rank, as well. Just because the LustyLoko suggested we put a tick in Brownies Box (political term following this weekends MardiGras) the majority here would abstain, bearing in mind the consequenses, passionate in the view that it takes all types. CharleCheetah who has obstained from regular appearances as Cheeta's tend to do, rises occasionally with a smile on his face, from the long grass from which many of our feline followers with camera phones get snap-happy in the hopes of making an extra few bucks like Victorian cheerleaders. Locksylonghorn and RustyRatoosla felt quite happy with their manly images, till Nanna claims they tend to make mountains out of mole-hills. Bryon kept quiet and said nothing in case............. ....... the mole made a mountain down there in his ..............
turboplanner Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 ........back garden. Planey had really pulled off a major work of philosophy, squeaking in a few lewd references which sneaked past the Moderators, who were more tuned to four letter words, and uncomfortable with five. Lockylonghorn, with one boot on and one eye on the fire alarm caught the idea and gave this profound contribution: "Marriage is like a pack of cards "In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond "By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade"
planedriver Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 ........back garden. Planey had really pulled off a major work of philosophy, squeaking in a few lewd references which sneaked past the Moderators, who were more tuned to four letter words, and uncomfortable with five. Lockylonghorn, with one boot on and one eye on the fire alarm caught the idea and gave this profound contribution: "Marriage is like a pack of cards "In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond "By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade" and if you give her too many diamonds you'll soon get Jack of it. 4i'vehadenough of these 4umites making accusations about my supposedly lewd 4letter words retorted Planey. 4tuneately the the moderators know better than to 4judge a true gentleman that way, and this nonsence must stop 4thwith:no no no:.........................
turboplanner Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 and if you give her too many diamonds you'll soon get Jack of it.4i'vehadenough of these 4umites making accusations about my supposedly lewd 4letter words retorted Planey. 4tuneately the the moderators know better than to 4judge a true gentleman that way, and this nonsence must stop 4thwith:no no no:......................... "You're just a pack of Jokers, and that Queen Locklsey is the Ace."
Captain Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 "You're just a pack of Jokers, and that Queen Locklsey is the Ace." ....... in the hole." That really got the Riverina Lass's attention (see about 2000 posts ago, as she is Nanna's granddaughter and distantly related to Mave (O'Meara?). so she said "I reckon I can get that Queen, Locksley, to jump the fence, and did someone mention ..........
turboplanner Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 "..a straight flush? I'm sure I pressed the button" "Get out of there" yelled the Manageress, I've got a lot of patrons out in the gaming rooms with runs. "And where are you Locksie", but there was silence; Locksie had a full hand.
Captain Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 "..a straight flush? I'm sure I pressed the button""Get out of there" yelled the Manageress, I've got a lot of patrons out in the gaming rooms with runs. "And where are you Locksie", but there was silence; Locksie had a full hand. Locksley looked at the ladies and thought of 52 things he would like to do, such as fly to Shepparton for a coffee, try to miss The Rock, and rectify 50 of his worst rivets, ..... but instead he gazed at Nanna and Mave (who were both substantially younger than him), his eyes glazed over in that way that they always do, and he said "Are you girls interested in being part of my 3-card trick?" The girls looked at each other, jumped up and gave each other a high-five, yelled "SNAP" and added ".........................
Captain Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 ..."it was Planey's 4play that dunnit!" ...... which is appropriate as I have 4 cylinders, I am 4tunate in that I have power in and around this 4um, I have made copies of my bum on a 4digraph (see copies at www.locksiesbum.com.ch), I am a 4mitable flyer, my beercan has been patched up in places with 4fica, some of my bits have been preserved in 4maldahyde (although Nanna has still promised to be 4thcoming), I often make love with 4boding 4tissimo, and that is why I have worne off my 4..............
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now