Bryon Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 ...closet BOARD MEMBER! "Is that anything like an ironing board" said Nana "cos we used to keep ours in the laundry closet next to the............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ...cat o' nine tails.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ....which locksie used for his cross dressing outings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 "Is that anything like an ironing board" said Nana"cos we used to keep ours in the laundry closet next to the............ ...... room in which AHWarewoolf was locked each evening before the moon came out." "Et do non forgette about moi" whispered Closette "As je escape-ed from ze Michelin Inflatable that sidled up to ze Rainbow Warrior, et je haff been employeed as a Communistgational Parson et une ............................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 .......lock tickeleure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 .......lock tickeleure "Now vous are speak'n my lingo, TurboPlaneure." said Closette "And to think that I always whispered "Steve" at critical times, when I should have realised that old saying "Once a tickeleure, always a ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 "Now vous are speak'n my lingo, TurboPlaneure." said Closette "And to think that I always whispered "Steve" at critical times, when I should have realised that old saying "Once a tickeleure, always a ................. ... populaire visitoure to Hangaire (Australian Hanger) Dix... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ... populaire visitoure to Hangaire (Australian Hanger) Dix... "You can't talk about "Dix" on this Foreum said Moderateure Ian (from his computeure in his Peugeot on his way to Temoeura) as that is as rude a word as .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 "....Fermez la bouche!..." But nothing could tempt Lockaire out from under his canvas. "What est he douing?" asked Le Ratte Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 "....Fermez la bouche!..." But nothing could tempt Lockaire out from under his canvas. "What est he douing?" asked Le Ratte "I'm trying to firm up my "Bouche" (not that there is anything wrong with that), and have been trying it for a while, here, under the canvas, so that my Mum doesn't spring me (again)." explained Le Lockeure. "Hello, hello, hello" said the CASA Inspector "And what's going on here?" he added as he slipped one arm out of the top of his Superman costume. "You're not going to do to me, what you have done to GA and trying to do to RAA aviation (not to mention Tiger), are you?" asked Le AHMcInnocent. "No mate, just relax, and on behalf of CASA I'm merely going to ............................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ......conduct a tiny inspection" The CASA Inspector (who was actually a greengrocer from Mosman under contract) carefully rolled on a purple rubber glove.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ......conduct a tiny inspection"The CASA Inspector (who was actually a greengrocer from Mosman under contract) carefully rolled on a purple rubber glove.... "Are you going to do keyhole surgery, as if so I am a bit of an expert on that (so long as you don't want anything actually unlocked), what are you doing with that torch and why is that a kitchen type rubber glove with sequins on it?" The CASA inspector wiped the smile off his face, the chip off his shoulder and took a couple of photos with his phone before replying "We got a 10 tonne batch of these flash Dame Edna type kitchen gloves cheap, mate, the torch is a cheap chinese LED so it won't burn too much, and don't worry about keyhole as we always go in through the round hole in your ....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 The CASA inspector wiped the smile off his face, the chip off his shoulder and took a couple of photos with his phone before replying "We got a 10 tonne batch of kitchen gloves cheap, mate, the torch is an LED so it won't burn too much, and don't worry about keyhole as we always go in through the round hole in your ....................... ".....earring. "oooooh they are lovely" (Aviation Safety Regulator talk) said the CASA Inpector "When were they last TSO'd?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 ".....earring. "oooooh they are lovely" (Aviation Safety Regulator talk) said the CASA Inpector "When were they last TSO'd?" "No pal, you're the Tosser, so you must have been Tosser'd ......... and how much are Plums today?" replied The AH Man. "Well, plums are velly flesh and onry $3.23/kg" responded the CASA Inspector as he dropped back into Mosman Green Grocer speak. "That was quick" said Steve. 'Well what do you expect" responded the Grocer "They just stick us on a contract, send us out here to screw you hicks in the bush, and some of us even have to go to worse places, like Mextoria, while my shop turns to ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 'Well what do you expect" responded the Grocer "They just stick us on a contract, send us out here to screw you hicks in the bush, and some of us even have to go to worse places, like Mextoria, while my shop turns to ...... .....He was just about to use a swear word which had taken him ten years to master but which now was sandwiched several times into every sentence, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his supervisor, Kathleen, who had no teeth, but had biceps which would do an excavator proud. He quickly slipped the rubber glove off (Ahlexus), and remembered his lines "Hello, my name's Bill" he said in perfect English, "Could you please: "CAR 353 1 (i) Show me your Certificate, not licence and definitely not license, "Section 4 (a) (iii) Part 6, and tell me when you last aviated (put down aviation term) "Update 5, Page 753 from your ERSA, where you flew, "Clause (a) (iv) how many apples you ate on the way, and "Addendum 5, Clause 78, Scetion 53, Para 455, did you pee before you left" Ahsolong responded "Here punk, yesterday, home, 35, twice" With an eye on Kathleen, the CASA Inspector said "Jolly good, you can go then, Toodle Pip!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 .....He was just about to use a swear word which had taken him ten years to master but which now was sandwiched several times into every sentence, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his supervisor, Kathleen, who had not teeth, but had biceps which would do an excavator proud. He quickly slipped the rubber glove off (Ahlexus), and remembered his lines "Hello, my name's Bill" he said in perfect English, "Could you please: "CAR 353 1 (i) Show me your Certificate, not licence and definitely not license, "Section 4 (a) (iii) Part 6, and tell me when you last aviated (put down aviation term) "Update 5, Page 753 from your ERSA, where you flew, "Clause (a) (iv) how many apples you ate on the way, and "Addendum 5, Clause 78, Scetion 53, Para 455, did you pee before you left" Ahsolong responded "Here punk, yesterday, home, 35, twice" With an eye on Kathleen, the CASA Inspector said "Jolly good, you can go then, Toodle Pip!" So having survived that, AhLock's confidence was at a new high and he ventured "G'day Kathleen, you sure are a looker, do you want to jump under this tarp with me and we'll review section 6, subparagraph 9, clause 181?" "Are you sure that you really want to do that?" responded Kathleen "As I have just measured your registration numbers and they are 0.00045 mm less in height than they should be, and that is a capital offence (but we are just here to help you)" she said as she peeled off her wig and plastic face disguise to reveal that she is actually ...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 So having survived that, AhLock's confidence was at a new high and he ventured "G'day Kathleen, you sure are a looker, do you want to jump under this tarp with me and we'll review section 6, subparagraph 9, clause 181?" "Are you sure that you really want to do that?" responded Kathleen "As I have just measured your registration numbers and they are 0.00045 mm less in height than they should be, and that is a capital offence (but we are just here to help you)" she said as she peeled off her wig and plastic face disguise to reveal that she is actually ...................... ..."Section 73, Clause 53 (i), Para XIXIV (2) (a) (iii) The SKULL!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 ..."Section 73, Clause 53 (i), Para XIXIV (2) (a) (iii) The SKULL!" .... which destined "Kathleen" for a promotional fast-track to the top of CASA. She puffed out her ample chest, fondled here whip, made suggestive gestures with her ASIC and said in a rather commanding voice "When I am the boss, recreational and general aviation will be ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 .... which destined "Kathleen" for a promotional fast-track to the top of CASA. She puffed out her ample chest, fondled here whip, made suggestive gestures with her ASIC and said in a rather commanding voice "When I am the boss, recreational and general aviation will be ............... "emasculated from today because I hate ultralights, they aren't REAL planes that ca do loops and things like that 172 over there..."| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 "emasculated from today because I hate ultralights, they aren't REAL planes that ca do loops and things like that 172 over there..."| "That's the Locky's SportStar with a 912, you TSO'er, not a 172" responded the writer. "I knew that" said Kath "I was just testing, and that test has established that you are obviously a smart-a*se that doesn't know their place, so hand in your licence now and expect regular visits from one of our enforcers until I decide that you have been taught a lesson (but always remember that we are just here to help you)." "Relax girls and boyz, as I shall protect my membership" volunteered the boss of the RAA "By .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 "That's the Locky's SportStar with a 912, you TSO'er, not a 172" responded the writer. "I knew that" said Kath "I was just testing, and that test has established that you are obviously a smart-a*se that doesn't know their place, so hand in your licence now and expect regular visits from one of our enforcers until I decide that you have been taught a lesson (but always remember that we are just here to help you)." "Relax girls and boyz, as I shall protect my membership" volunteered the boss of the RAA "By .................. "....sealing the SportStar in a non-biodegradable bag (because we can use them without a medical), hiring DitDot's log skidder, digging a big hole and burying it, then covering it with sweet smelling daisies, all under our total secrecy policy, which I picked up from the Russians. "Kath's enforcers will never find it to fine it then" continued the RAA boss, whose name was suppressed under the new secrecy provisions of ***** the name of which had also been suppressed under its secrecy provisions............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 "....sealing the SportStar in a non-biodegradable bag (because we can use them without a medical), hiring DitDot's log skidder, digging a big hole and burying it, then covering it with sweet smelling daisies, all under our total secrecy policy, which I picked up from the Russians. "Kath's enforcers will never find it to fine it then" continued the RAA boss, whose name was suppressed under the new secrecy provisions of ***** the name of which had also been suppressed under its secrecy provisions............ ..... and not only was the name of the ****** suppressed, and the organization name of *********** also suppressed as per Tubb's pots #5045, but the new ****** order to be gazetted in 25 days meant that we cannot ****** or *********, not to mention ************ or *********** ********* ****,***,********** (and only prepositions are allowed under the new RA Aus Rules, with even Rego numbers to henceforth be desplayed at **-****, and ******* .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 ...and came to pass that ***** was actually a secret code for the mystical alignment of stars that the Mayans had predicted, but it wasn't the world that would end on 12/12/12, but aviation as it had been known. "***** that!" cussed..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 ...and came to pass that ***** was actually a secret code for the mystical alignment of stars that the Mayans had predicted, but it wasn't the world that would end on 12/12/12, but aviation as it had been known. "***** that!" cussed..... "You can't ****** say that on this ****** forum" said Marilyn the Mayan "And we refuse to allow RA Aus brand of Rec Flying to be ended just because of paranoid secrecy" she added as she jumped into her Carotooooo and flicked on all ***** Ignition switches. "I know what we can do" responded AhRoxoff to Marilyn "We'll grab a long broomhandle and ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 "You can't ****** say that on this ****** forum" said Marilyn the Mayan "And we refuse to allow RA Aus brand of Rec Flying to be ended just because of paranoid secrecy" she added as she jumped into her Carotooooo and flicked on all ***** Ignition switches. "I know what we can do" responded AhRoxoff to Marilyn "We'll grab a long broomhandle and ................. "...take to ***** in turns until he finally tells is what ***************he has been up to at ********** and when he ***************** on ********** and how he ************** again at ****************** and who he ****************** ************" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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