Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 ..."Prop wash?" asked ditdot in amazement... "you mean you wash props?" "Yes we do" answered the Rodent (and welcome back to the NES, dotdit) "And always remember, Young Enthusiast (although personally, I have found Young to be a bit on the cold side, and not all that compelling, although Zouch St is always quite nice) that a clean pilot is a happy pilot, a clean prop is an efficient prop, and a clean Young Enthusiast is a ....................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "Yes we do" answered the Rodent (and welcome back to the NES, dotdit) "And always remember, Young Enthusiast (although personally, I have found Young to be a bit on the cold side, and not all that compelling, although Zouch St is always quite nice) that a clean pilot is a happy pilot, a clean prop is an efficient prop, and a clean Young Enthusiast is a .................... "sign to all the others who only shower fortnightly, that saving water is not everything"
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "sign to all the others who only shower fortnightly, that saving water is not everything" "What do you do for a crust?" asked Tomo. "I only shower every fortnight" replied Tubbs "As in the trucking industry we .................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 ...thrive on days gone by... "and now only in our dreams do we rip down the highways looking for a caravan to implode."
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "and now only in our dreams do we rip down the highways looking for a caravan to implode." "Too right" said the boke in the blue singlet (with what looked like an inbuilt airbag) "I don't care whether they implode or explode, just as long as they plode." "Blue singlets aren't safe "said the RTA Inspector, who jumped from the bushes and said "Taa Daaa .................... where is your fluoro vest?" "You look just like the CASA Inspector" relied Trevor the trucky "So go and do what I told him to do when he wanted a drug test sample when I landed my Citation 4 in Dubbo last week (Trev owned a few trucks and made Lindsay Fox look like an amateur), and stick your head up .......................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "Too right" said the boke in the blue singlet (with what looked like an inbuilt airbag) "I don't care whether they implode or explode, just as long as they plode." "Blue singlets aren't safe "said the RTA Inspector, who jumped from the bushes and said "Taa Daaa .................... where is your fluoro vest?" "You look just like the CASA Inspector" relied Trevor the trucky "So go and do what I told him to do when he wanted a drug test sample when I landed my Citation 4 in Dubbo last week (Trev owned a few trucks and made Lindsay Fox look like an amateur), and stick your head up ....................... ..... but that was a far as he got, because the RTA Inspector was dual-employed (a new reform introduced by Wayne Swann to show more jo0bs in the workforce, and too late Trevor caught a glimpse of the Puma (provided by Julia as part of the scheme to assist the dual-work certified to get between their jobs at the taxpayers expense. As Trevor looked around in desperation for something to mow down, over his CB came the welcome news ...-.--..-.-.-.-
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 .....As Trevor looked around in desperation for something to mow down, over his CB came the welcome news ...-.--..-.-.-.- .......... that Wayne and Julia had been caught in the back seat of a commonwealth car in a park in Queanbeyan, playing "Hide the Budget", with Peter G taking photos (although he stuffed that up too), and Slarti was teaching Pete to take decent photos while Pete was teaching Slarti to do the Midnight Oil dance steps. Trev couldn't wait to see the happy snaps, so he jumped out of his Freightliner when he went through Dubbo and jumped into his Citation. "Bugger the check-lists (aviation phrase)" he said "As I am in a hurry (aviation human factors term), and us big-time GA guys don't need such things just to flick over the Canberra for a quick ................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 .......... that Wayne and Julia had been caught in the back seat of a commonwealth car in a park in Queanbeyan, playing "Hide the Budget", with Peter G taking photos (although he stuffed that up too), and Slarti was teaching Pete to take decent photos while Pete was teaching Slarti to do the Midnight Oil dance steps. Trev couldn't wait to see the happy snaps, so he jumped out of his Freightliner when he went through Dubbo and jumped into his Citation. "Bugger the check-lists (aviation phrase)" he said "As I am in a hurry (aviation human factors term), and us big-time GA guys don't need such things just to flick over the Canberra for a quick ................ "look at the Budget document" After tracking a direct line for Runway 25 at Fairbairn Air Base, and giving the obligatory trucky based radio calls (he was one of the school who believed that it was more important to give people your intentions rather than use prissy formal phrases), which consisted of (to the C130 on take off roll) "Fuck off you moron, ya mutha worked out the back of the Wagga Roadhouse" he set the Citation down on one of the taxiways to save time and was soon engrossed in the large Budget volume. "This is a good one" he said to himself "all the old people are going to get set top boxes so they can watch television" "It would have been cheaper to give them a bottle of Cab Sav every night and clear the wine industries stocks" "Fuck me, it's going to cost taxpayers $330.00 each!...........to put a set top box on some old heap of crap that's 30 years old! "Why wouldn't they just buy them a new digital TV at $249.00?"
Guest JRMobile Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 .......... that Wayne and Julia had been caught in the back seat of a commonwealth car in a park in Queanbeyan, playing "Hide the Budget", with Peter G taking photos (although he stuffed that up too), and Slarti was teaching Pete to take decent photos while Pete was teaching Slarti to do the Midnight Oil dance steps. Trev couldn't wait to see the happy snaps, so he jumped out of his Freightliner when he went through Dubbo and jumped into his Citation. "Bugger the check-lists (aviation phrase)" he said "As I am in a hurry (aviation human factors term), and us big-time GA guys don't need such things just to flick over the Canberra for a quick ................ .- .-.. .-.. - .... . -.. .-. --- .--. -.- .. -.-. -.- ... .. -. -.-. .- -. -... . .-. .-. .- --- -. -... --- - .... ... .. -.. . ... --- ..-. - .... . .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .- .-.. ..-. . -. -.-. .
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 .- .-.. .-.. - .... . -.. .-. --- .--. -.- .. -.-. -.- ... .. -. -.-. .- -. -... . .-. .-. .- --- -. -... --- - .... ... .. -.. . ... --- ..-. - .... . .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .- .-.. ..-. . -. -.-. . "#@&* me, John" said one of the MachismoModerati "You can't #@&*'n say that on a public forum without some consequences." "Don't worry about them John" said Kev "Have a look at these photos and J's map of Lismore, as I think I can see the road that goes out to your joint." "What'll we do while the beds are burn'n" sang Slarts as he danced into view, carrying a sample of Pink Batts, Swanny's very own set-top-box (which he had used to test the wastefulness of it all), and ............. (Rat - u need to tone the language down, Nana wont be pleased, words like (#@&*'n and *^#@@ and .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .. .- -. ) MODERATI
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "#@&* me, John" said one of the MachismoModerati "You can't #@&*'n say that on a public forum without some consequences." "Don't worry about them John" said Kev "Have a look at these photos and J's map of Lismore, as I think I can see the road that goes out to your joint." "What'll we do while the beds are burn'n" sang Slarts as he danced into view, carrying a sample of Pink Batts, Swanny's very own set-top-box (which he had used to test the wastefulness of it all), and ............. (Rat - u need to tone the language down, Nana wont be pleased, words like (#@&*'n and *^#@@ and .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .. .- -. ) MODERATI "We'll have to get ditDot in to translate all this morse" said Turbo, although being from another Planet called Annaland where the leader wears a pink garter rather than a crown, his dialect might be different, and ...."
Tomo Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 .. -. ... --- -- . .-- .- -.-- ... .- -... .. - -.. --- - - -.--
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "I'm gittin old" said the Rat "and now need Ratspecs but I can pick bad language and salacious remarks from a hundred paces" "I'm shocked and appalled at what you have just said about Slartipants, I thought he was normal" he added
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "I'm gittin old" said the Rat "and now need Ratspecs but I can pick bad language and salacious remarks from a hundred paces" "I'm shocked and appalled at what you have just said about Slartipants, I thought he was normal" he added "That .. -. ... --- -- . .-- .- -.-- ... .- -... .. - -.. --- - - -.-- from Tomo has shocked me something fierce" replied the Rattus (genera Muridea) "As I thought that he was a nice enthusiastic your Cecillian Plainian (or Plane-ian). And not your usual gutter mouthed Cane Toad". "I'll get the MachismoMenstrati onto him" volunteered AHLocks, who had been quiet for a while, after getting over another saturday marathon. But nobody could recognize SartiHotPants, as he had gone through a major transormation, getting rid of this leather hat and growing a beard for Natfy, then shaving and polishing his head while singing "What'll we do while the earth keeps turning". "What do you reckon Bryon?" asked the RatBag "Does he look more like Peter Garret (the Minister for Edumacation & Ministerial #@&*-ups) or Gary Ablett Jnr?" "No" replied Bryon with his usual Dandy-Nong force "He looks like .............................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "That .. -. ... --- -- . .-- .- -.-- ... .- -... .. - -.. --- - - -.-- from Tomo has shocked me something fierce" replied the Rattus (genera Muridea) "As I thought that he was a nice enthusiastic your Cecillian Plainian (or Plane-ian). And not your usual gutter mouthed Cane Toad". "I'll get the MachismoMenstrati onto him" volunteered AHLocks, who had been quiet for a while, after getting over another saturday marathon. But nobody could recognize SartiHotPants, as he had gone through a major transormation, getting rid of this leather hat and growing a beard for Natfy, then shaving and polishing his head while singing "What'll we do while the earth keeps turning". "What do you reckon Bryon?" asked the RatBag "Does he look more like Peter Garret (the Minister for Edumacation & Ministerial #@&*-ups) or Gary Ablett Jnr?" "No" replied Bryon with his usual Dandy-Nong force "He looks like ............................. ".....an escapee from an eco-friendly nudist colony"
Captain Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 ".....an escapee from an eco-friendly nudist colony" "So what's different?" beeped Tomo, eh? "As he always looked a bit that way, what with his white Canberra skin (which sometimes looks like a pommy in winter), his poor ACT superior attitude ("Here, peasant, give this a polish" the BartPlug could be heard yelling in the background) and his sunburnt (or is that chafed?) little........................
turboplanner Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "So what's different?" beeped Tomo, eh? "As he always looked a bit that way, what with his white Canberra skin (which sometimes looks like a pommy in winter), his poor ACT superior attitude ("Here, peasant, give this a polish" the BartPlug could be heard yelling in the background) and his sunburnt (or is that chafed?) little........................ ....mouth was trying to say something. "Normally us superior people in Canberra would not tell you peasants anything, but after what the rat's just been saying, and I know it's not the Korean Peninsula, I can let you into a little secret about the alleged grasshopper plague late last year in which the previous Victorian Government spent $17 billion on fly swats for each household, custom mesh for every car grille, meetings with stakeholder groups all over Victoria, and the others States, the USA, and Indonesia (in case tourists arrived and were scared into thinking this was a kangaroo plague). "As we all know the so-called plague started in NSW, where they usually do. We in the ACT have to be eternally vigilant and keep our doors locked and phones turned off. "However, while every Victorian was armed with a can of fly spray, and the Victorian National Guard had been recalled from repelling Queenslanders at the border, and while Premier Brumby had announced that the Melbourne Cup could be cancelled (apparently in case the grass hoppers beat the horses down the straight), the promised plague didn't eventuate. "The Government was always breaking promises so the Victorians didn't take any notice, but" said PartyFarty there was a very good reason. "Our nemesis Rattus Muridea had got on the turps at Ratfly 2009, and on the way home mated with a Mousus Upsideownus, and by a freak of nature a downside mutation began to occur until there were thousands of offspring determinedly tramping the roads of the Riverina. "The problem was their bite. It was said that after a bite from a Mattus Riverinerus, people would bare their bums just to get the relief of a Murray Mozzie bite At this point Bartyfarty, in a new tradition set by David The Great announced he was off on business and would continue the story later....
Captain Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 ....mouth was trying to say something. "Normally us superior people in Canberra would not tell you peasants anything, but after what the rat's just been saying, and I know it's not the Korean Peninsula, I can let you into a little secret about the alleged grasshopper plague late last year in which the previous Victorian Government spent $17 billion on fly swats for each household, custom mesh for every car grille, meetings with stakeholder groups all over Victoria, and the others States, the USA, and Indonesia (in case tourists arrived and were scared into thinking this was a kangaroo plague). "As we all know the so-called plague started in NSW, where they usually do. We in the ACT have to be eternally vigilant and keep our doors locked and phones turned off. "However, while every Victorian was armed with a can of fly spray, and the Victorian National Guard had been recalled from repelling Queenslanders at the border, and while Premier Brumby had announced that the Melbourne Cup could be cancelled (apparently in case the grass hoppers beat the horses down the straight), the promised plague didn't eventuate. "The Government was always breaking promises so the Victorians didn't take any notice, but" said PartyFarty there was a very good reason. "Our nemesis Rattus Muridea had got on the turps at Ratfly 2009, and on the way home mated with a Mousus Upsideownus, and by a freak of nature a downside mutation began to occur until there were thousands of offspring determinedly tramping the roads of the Riverina. "The problem was their bite. It was said that after a bite from a Mattus Riverinerus, people would bare their bums just to get the relief of a Murray Mozzie bite At this point Bartyfarty, in a new tradition set by David The Great announced he was off on business and would continue the story later.... "Grasshopper, schmasshopper" said the RiverinaLass "We have a mouse (Muridae Musculus Bushpaddockus) plague down here at the moment that outnumbers the Hoppers, and the problem is that once they cross the border into Mextoria you won't be able to recognize 'em from the normal population." "They even nibble us in our beds at night" added Nanna "And some of 'em are big too, with flash teeth, a tongue that is to to die for, and a technique that takes its time." "The Muridae at RatFly (tee hee ... good one Tubb) were nothing compared to what will .....................
turboplanner Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 "Grasshopper, schmasshopper" said the RiverinaLass "We have a mouse (Muridae Musculus Bushpaddockus) plague down here at the moment that outnumbers the Hoppers, and the problem is that once they cross the border into Mextoria you won't be able to recognize 'em from the normal population." "They even nibble us in our beds at night" added Nanna "And some of 'em are big too, with flash teeth, a tongue that is to to die for, and a technique that takes its time." "The Muridae at RatFly (tee hee ... good one Tubb) were nothing compared to what will ..................... "happen in September when the buds start to open and the teeth of the Muridae reach their full extension"
Captain Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 "happen in September when the buds start to open and the teeth of the Muridae reach their full extension" .......... and one of 'em gets voted onto the Board. At the Board Meeting immediately after the AGM, El Presidente will say "You, the Muridae at the end, you aren't a member, so get out of this meeting." The rest of the Board will then jump to their feet in indignation and say: "Why are our feet constantly stuck in this dignation stuff?" And leave that Muridae alone as he/she/it were elected by the ...........................
turboplanner Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 .......... and one of 'em gets voted onto the Board. At the Board Meeting immediately after the AGM, El Presidente will say "You, the Muridae at the end, you aren't a member, so get out of this meeting." The rest of the Board will then jump to their feet in indignation and say: "Why are our feet constantly stuck in this dignation stuff?" And leave that Muridae alone as he/she/it were elected by the ........................... "Pope, and everyone knows he is a Catholic" "But is he?" asked Turbo, and El Presidente ....
Captain Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 "Pope, and everyone knows he is a Catholic" "But is he?" asked Turbo, and El Presidente .... ........ scratched his map of Tasmania, took off both of his 4 gold striped possum skinned epaulettes, crossed himself, threw down some Talon pellets, held up the Koran, read through his check list, ordered all Board Members out of the room on the grounds that they weren't financial, looked at a photo of Peter Garrett in his wallet (or was it actually Slartibaldhead?), drew himself up to his full height (just over the top of the table) and said .................
turboplanner Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 ........ scratched his map of Tasmania, took off both of his 4 gold striped possum skinned epaulettes, crossed himself, threw down some Talon pellets, held up the Koran, read through his check list, ordered all Board Members out of the room on the grounds that they weren't financial, looked at a photo of Peter Garrett in his wallet (or was it actually Slartibaldhead?), drew himself up to his full height (just over the top of the table) and said ................. "HOW BORING IS THIS THEN!!"
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