The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

............. which resulted in cfipaliativecare being invited onto the Board of Gunns.

"I know all about Gunns" he said "As we do it to our engines every time we make a call that we are rolling. Well ............. that, and there will NOT be an election while I have my hand up Julia's back ..................... and .................................

"....and .......and..... Just a minute!, Who pulled Chapter 3 of David the Great's story?"

 

And so began one of the great mysteries in Australian aviation. In a daring electoral coupe.......

 

 

[Captain]

"....and .......and..... Just a minute!, Who pulled Chapter 3 of David the Great's story?"

And so began one of the great mysteries in Australian aviation. In a daring electoral coupe.......

................... cficareless flew his Aircoupe down the Tamar Valley to deliver a coupe-de-gras to Brownie, however cficarefree had to get a bucket of water, as Brownie was coupled, in the back seat of a coupe (but it was OK, as the coupe was a Lexus hybrid), so cficaress went over the top by ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

................... cficareless flew his Aircoupe down the Tamar Valley to deliver a coupe-de-gras to Brownie, however cficarefree had to get a bucket of water, as Brownie was coupled with in the back seat of a coupe (but it was OK, as the coupe was a Lexus hybrid), so cficaress went over the top by ............

"Prius!, it's hot in here" said Brownie "I don't need any more grass thank youCficareless", and looking across at Cfi careful added "Are you ambidextrous?

 

 

[Captain]

"Prius!, it's hot in here" said Brownie "I don't need any more grass thank youCficareless", and looking across at Cficareful added "Are you ambidextrous?"

CFIcaress stood proudly and responded "G'day Robbie. I am not only ambidextrous, I love ACDC, The Rolling Stones, Queen (not that there is anything wrong with that), AmbiPur, amphibians (once you cut their claws), BoyGeorge, ambivalence (RAA member's aviation term, sometimes), ambrosia, ambuscading in the bush, quiet subtly lit ambiance, amberjacks, I am extremely ambitious (and will do just about anything to get ahead ........ if you get my drift (aviation term)) and to top it off I use ambergris (that's a secretion of the Sperm Whale, don't-ya-know) to ...................

 

My tante, out in the garden, can't wait until she can join the mile-high club (aviation term) in just 18 posts. She wonders who will make that post and take her there (aviation phrase).

 

 

[turboplanner]

CFIcaress stood proudly and responded "G'day Robbie. I am not only ambidextrous, I love ACDC, The Rolling Stones, Queen (not that there is anything wrong with that), AmbiPur, amphibians (once you cut their claws), BoyGeorge, ambivalence (RAA member's aviation term, sometimes), ambrosia, ambuscading in the bush, quiet subtly lit ambiance, amberjacks, I am extremely ambitious (and will do just about anything to get ahead ........ if you get my drift (aviation term)) and to top it off I use ambergris (that's a secretion of the Sperm Whale, don't-ya-know) to ............

".... smear round the trunks of the Native forest to make Gunns chainsaw jocks slip off the notches so they can't climb up and fell the trees and create artificial amphitheatres whioch just amplify sound, which wakes up the possums, which then amuse themselves in ambitious attempts to climb up the amply greased trees which grow amply in the sunshine until they have enough leaves to burn down the saw mills, shaking the local managers out of their ambivalence as they realise they are about to be fired."

 

This was generally agreed to be the new record for a CFI speech, although not as long as David the Great's magnificent works of fiction although.....

 

 

[Bryon]

"....This was generally agreed to be the new record for a CFI speech, although not as long as David the Great's magnificent works of fiction although.....

How come David gets a title,

 

wot about Turbs the Tewwibly Turbuwent, Captain, the Rattus Nonsensicus, CFI, who cares, Poxy Locksy, Slarty the Last Farter, Ditdah the Younger, Tomo the terwiffic, the Handsum Mr H, Motza the rella and Brine the Beatified (dont forget Norbu the nobhead and Nana.......(I aint giving her a title that will come back to bite me on the bum))

 

 

[turboplanner]

How come David gets a title,wot about Turbs the Tewwibly Turbuwent, Captain, the Rattus Nonsensicus, CFI, who cares, Poxy Locksy, Slarty the Last Farter, Ditdah the Younger, Tomo the terwiffic, the Handsum Mr H, Motza the rella and Brine the Beatified (dont forget Norbu the nobhead and Nana.......(I aint giving her a title that will come back to bite me on the bum))

Poxy Locksy stood up on his hind quarters and rotated his head 270 degrees (aviation term). His sharp claws had left a cute little track in the flea ridden Wagga Wagga dust...

 

 

[Bryon]

Poxy Locksy stood up on his hind quarters and rotated his head 270 degrees (aviation term). His sharp claws had left a cute little track in the flea ridden Wagga Wagga dust...

"Wagga aint got fleas" declared Mavis

 

"You can get crabs there, if you go to one of Poxies infamous soirees" declared Nana

 

"Well I never" said Elrattus.............

 

 

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"Wagga aint got fleas" declared Mavis"You can get crabs there, if you go to one of Poxies infamous soirees" declared Nana

 

"Well I never" said Elrattus.............

"..some people have amazing memories. Poxy was his name in school, and was given to him by the girls after he got into a habit of following them around the playground.

 

"It wasn't his behaviour they objected to, but his habit of wearing his old Donald Duck pyjama pants which were never washed from year to year, and ...."

 

 

[Captain]

.

 

"..some people have amazing memories. Poxy was his name in school, and was given to him by the girls after he got into a habit of following them around the playground."It wasn't his behaviour they objected to, but his habit of wearing his old Donald Duck pyjama pants which were never washed from year to year, and ...."

...... acting Goofy (I wasn't game to talk about playing with anyone's Mickey).

 

"I had a pair of those Donald Duck jamas" replied Brine the Beautified (who must have had a fair bit of work done since I saw him at Natfly (annual aviation term), to qualify for a title like that).

 

"What about me, and where is my title?" asked Admin the Admired (sometimes known as Ian the Irritable) "And I know, from personal experience that it is "Nanna the Nubile".

 

"But you have forgotten someone" added Cfi-caress the Toucher "And that is ..............

 

 

[Bryon]

.

"But you have forgotten someone" added Cfi-caress the Toucher "And that is ..............

".........Mavis with the Magnificent Boobies" volunteered Poxie

 

"I remember when were in the orange spotted thingy that we borrowed from Farti and she...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....couldn't take her feet off the pedals.......

 

 

[Captain]

....couldn't take her feet off the pedals.......

"Are you saying that Slartibuttcrack actually pedals that gorgeous spotted Pussy, the same as they did in the Gossamer Condor thingy?" asked Edna who was a little ignorant when it comes to weight, motive power and the size of the Buttcrack's muscular legs (and the big question of whether he shaves 'em). "Heck he must be a goer if he has that type of staying power, PLUS as the A*se-is-tant Admin he is probably a member of the MagnificentiMachismoModerati and could easily have more power that a CFI (be they caring or full of disdain), or a CASA ASIC Policeman with his hand on his .........................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Are you saying that Slartibuttcrack actually pedals that gorgeous spotted Pussy, the same as they did in the Gossamer Condor thingy?" asked Edna who was a little ignorant when it comes to weight, motive power and the size of the Buttcrack's muscular legs (and the big question of whether he shaves 'em). "Heck he must be a goer if he has that type of staying power, PLUS as the A*se-is-tant Admin he is probably a member of the MagnificentiMachismoModerati and could easily have more power that a CFI (be they caring or full of disdain), or a CASA ASIC Policeman with his hand on his .........................

.....card reader, and behaving like the neighbour's dog - all prick and teeth.....

 

 

[Bryon]

.....card reader, and behaving like the neighbour's dog - all prick and teeth.....

"But still only a dishlicker" intoned Mavis

 

"I want one" stated Nana, "I was a bit of a dish in me younger days........

 

 

[Captain]

"But still only a dishlicker" intoned Mavis"I want one" stated Nana, "I was a bit of a dish in me younger days........

............ but now I have a plate, my D-cups are T-cups, I dream about spooning, I'd love a fork, gravity (aviation reference) has taken over, and I ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

............ but now I have a plate, my D-cups are T-cups, I dream about spooning, I'd love a fork, gravity (aviation reference) has taken over, and I ......

"can't work out why I have missing posts"

 

 

[Captain]

"can't work out why I have missing posts"

"I don't accept that" commented Edna "As the Nanna that we all know and love so well (some more than others reference), would never use that word "posts" (fencing and forum reference), while her legs are ..........................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....like a pair of tank stands at a shearing complex (new pc term for shed - vests to be worn, indoctrination certificate pinned on vest)

 

 

[Captain]

....like a pair of tank stands at a shearing complex (new pc term for shed - vests to be worn, indoctrination certificate pinned on vest)

"Why didn't you challenge us, ..... and those sheep?" asked the CASSSA Inspector (Commonweath Authoritarian Sheep Shed & Sh*t Association Inspector) with his great big orange fluoro badge (you can't be too careful), his lime green fluoro report book and his fluoro orange pencil case, as he leaned againnt the door with one arm around Nanna, the other around Edna, and the other around ..................

 

 

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orange fluoro badge (you can't be too careful), fluoro orange pencil case....

"They are NOT orange" slobbered the BBQ man

 

 

[Captain]

"They are NOT orange" slobbered the BBQ man

........... and why didn't you challenge that too, either, as well?" he added with a jaunty ....................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Why didn't you challenge us, ..... and those sheep?" asked the CASSSA Inspector (Commonweath Authoritarian Sheep Shed & Sh*t Association Inspector) with his great big orange fluoro badge (you can't be too careful), his lime green fluoro report book and his fluoro orange pencil case, as he leaned agaisnt the door with one arm around Nanna, the other around Edna, and the other around ..................

...a stubby.

 

"Here I am only trying to help you, and you failed to challenged all five thousand of them. This is an offence of Strict Liability, and we have five thousand offences - ten thousand between the two of you"

 

"OK, write each of us out a ticket for each offence" , said Nanna who was street smart and knew he'd give up once she brought out the BBQ meat and stubbies.........but he didn't, he just sat under a bluegum and wrote ten thousand tickets over two days (he was paid by the taxpayer).

 

"There you go" he said, "a year's imprisonment for each offence, that will see you two away for 5,000 years"

 

 

[turboplanner]

........... and why didn't you challenge that too, either, as well?" he added with a jaunty ....................

...snigger, which turned to "OOOOOFHHHHH" as Slarti kicked him in the hangars (hangers in Queensland)

 

 

[Captain]

...a stubby.

"Here I am only trying to help you, and you failed to challenged all five thousand of them. This is an offence of Strict Liability, and we have five thousand offences - ten thousand between the two of you"

 

"OK, write each of us out a ticket for each offence" , said Nanna who was street smart and knew he'd give up once she brought out the BBQ meat and stubbies.........but he didn't, he just sat under a bluegum and wrote ten thousand tickets over two days (he was paid by the taxpayer).

 

"There you go" he said, "a year's imprisonment for each offence, that will see you two away for 5,000 years"

.......... but being a safety conscious Inspector dude, he wrote the tickets on fluro yellow paper with his fluoro yellow pen, and stuck them in 5000 fluoro yellow envelopes, each with a fluoro yellow address window on the front. (and YOU try writing "fluoro yellow" twenty times while paralytic, in transit, at 3000 ft, in fog, while VFR licenced, between Broken Hill and Dubbo, while trying to talk with ATC, and keep Nanna happy in the Navigatrix's seat). It's hard and ................