Bryon Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 ...play, or in the case of Lockwood Larry peep. "Oooooohhh Lockwood Larry, what big eyes you have" cooed Mavis "Bugga his eyes', said Nana, "How big is his dried fruit arrangement?" "ooooh you girlth are awful" lisped Fearless Leader who was trying to give CFI a .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 "Oooooohhh Lockwood Larry, what big eyes you have" cooed Mavis "Bugga his eyes', said Nana, "How big is his dried fruit arrangement?" "ooooh you girlth are awful" lisped Fearless Leader who was trying to give CFI a .......... ....cuddle "Would you like a flying thoot like mine?" he asked CFI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 "Ooooh you girlth are awful" lisped Fearless Leader who was trying to give CFI a .......... ...... lesson in boardom. "See, Fakir, how boring it is to have to not keep an eye on the lack of financial governance, or the excalating costs, and by the way, you aren't a member are you?" "I resent that" said CFIcker "As I have nothing in common with El Ratsack, because I am more like the Dandenong Dandy and the Banghome Banger, not to mention the Flinders Ranges F............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 ...... lesson in boardom. "See, Fakir, how boring it is to have to not keep an eye on the lack of financial governance, or the excalating costs, and by the way, you aren't a member are you?" "I resent that" said CFIcker "As I have nothing in common with El Ratsack, because I am more like the Dandenong Dandy and the Banghome Banger, not to mention the Flinders Ranges F............... "F....F..F..F.ffffFFFFinancial Advisor" "You;ve GOT to be kidding" said the Fakir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 "You;ve GOT to be kidding" said the Fakir "OI, " yelled the Banghome Banger, "I resemble that remark, and I do not have a f.f.fer...fer....fer...fer...bloody stammer" "But I have a nice thpare flight thoot with gold eppa...eppa..eppa...bloody bars on the thoulders" lithped Fearless Leader "And I challenge the Fakir to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 "er er eern er erne earne ffpr ffour vbars like meeeee" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 "er er eern er erne earne ffpr ffour vbars like meeeee" "Try doing it whiltht imitating a crasth in the T.T..T..TT.Tamar" retorted FL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 "Try doing it whiltht imitating a crasth in the T.T..T..TT.Tamar" retorted FL And Fearless Leader sank like a stone into the oblivion of faraway Fakir land where he meditated, prepared on liners for the next meeting and skun mutton Birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 And Fearless Leader sank like a stone into the oblivion of faraway Fakir land where he meditated, prepared on liners for the next meeting and skun mutton Birds. Let us hope so. "I know how to cure lithps" thaid Nanna "Itth all about using your tongue properly, so come over here and I'll show you some tongue exercises ............ and after we are both finished, we will .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 "I know how to cure lithps" thaid Nanna "Itth all about using your tongue properly, so come over here and I'll show you some tongue exercises ............ and after we are both finished, we will .................. But Rattus was too quick, screwing his nose up and running like hell down a path which was unfamiliar to him. He was beginning to feel thirsty and fearful that a board member could jump out from behind any tree and give him the silent treatment, when he saw in the distance Lockwood Larry skipping along whistling, looking for all the world like Sancho the peasant from Man of La Mancha. Larry had just come back from the US where he'd been training firies, and was over the moon at their quick uptake of his ideas and their very first success where 17 fire trucks sat on a highway and watched a priceless WW2 B17 burn to the ground after making a successful belly landing on a cornfield, raising an enormous cloud of dust. "It was a text book exercise in risk management" he said "every one of those truck drivers knew not to venture out on to that cornfield in case they got bogged on the dry surface, and besides, the gate was shut" Rattus looked him over, he was wearing a badge with I and a pink thingy and NY, which Rattus took to be some alien hieroglyph, a leather larriat round his neck held by a lump of Turquouise the size of Uluru. His belt had a truckers buckle weighing 40 kilos, which covered the two sox he normally wore in that region, he was wearing a pair of gas station mocassins, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Rattus looked him over, he was wearing a badge with I and a pink thingy and NY, which Rattus took to be some alien hieroglyph, a leather larriat round his neck held by a lump of Turquouise the size of Uluru. His belt had a truckers buckle weighing 40 kilos, which covered the two sox he normally wore in that region, he was wearing a pair of gas station mocassins, and...... ........ it was obvious from that garb that he was a Freightliner Owner-Operator. "That's a new category for the Lismore Mardi Gras next year" said Mavis who is an organiser "John will have a sign made for "Lockwood Larrys with Leather Larriats" (not that there is anything wrong with that) and if that doesn't cover half of the people on the north coast, we'll call it .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 "That's a new category for the Lismore Mardi Gras next year" said Mavis who is an organiser "John will have a sign made for "Lockwood Larrys with Leather Larriats" (not that there is anything wrong with that) and if that doesn't cover half of the people on the north coast, we'll call it .................... ......Feral Festival, and invite... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flindersflyer Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ......Feral Festival, and invite... Flinders Flyer to the Feral Festival Fly-in at Forrest or Fitzroy Xing to inspect the Flora and Fauna in one of those two Fantastic ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Flinders Flyer to the Feral Festival Fly-in at Forrest or Fitzroy Xing to inspect the Flora and Fauna in one of those two Fantastic ............ ...FK12's fitted with floats. [Now bear in mind readers that Flinders Flyer and Mavis are the two stars of this segment and Flinders has pained himself into an area with a width of 49 inces] What happened next was the talk of Ratfly...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...FK12's fitted with floats. [Now bear in mind readers that Flinders Flyer and Mavis are the two stars of this segment and Flinders has pained himself into an area with a width of 49 inces] What happened next was the talk of Ratfly...... ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...... when Mavis accidentally f.............................. when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ...... when Mavis accidentally f........................ ....fired her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flindersflyer Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ....fired her... ..... all hell broke loose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...as CFI desperately clawed at the bra strap which had coiled around his neck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...as CFI desperately clawed at the bra strap which had coiled around his neck. And as the strap tightened, CFIcare's life flashed before him. "Can't repeat too much of that here" he thought "Some of it is yucky, most is either AO or a bit too unsightly for public consumption, so I hope I get out of this." he thought further "As I have a "fair few" aircraft that need my deft touch, and a ......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 And as the strap tightened, CFIcare's life flashed before him. "Can't repeat too much of that here" he thought "Some of it is yucky, most is either AO or a bit too unsightly for public consumption, so I hope I get out of this." he thought further "As I have a "fair few" aircraft that need my deft touch, and a ......................... ...s luck would have it, the strap broke. This failue could have been due to fair wear and tear, but CFI knew otherwise. For deep in his dark past lay a secret so terrible that he had never revealed it to anyone. No-one had ever guessed that......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...s luck would have it, the strap broke. This failue could have been due to fair wear and tear, but CFI knew otherwise.For deep in his dark past lay a secret so terrible that he had never revealed it to anyone. No-one had ever guessed that......... ................. the CFakir's avatar is actually an accurate self portrait, that he is directly related to the President, and that .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ...s luck would have it, the strap broke. This failue could have been due to fair wear and tear, but CFI knew otherwise.For deep in his dark past lay a secret so terrible that he had never revealed it to anyone. No-one had ever guessed that......... .....HE WAS A TASMANIAN. Oh the SHAME! He wiped the cold Mutton Bird fat off his jowls, but the jellied possum back in the fridge, sat down with a stubby of Boggs (which in the interests of reduceing CO2 was made using raw sewage) and decided he must never be Outed and needed to carefully think out a solution..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 ................. the CFakir's avatar is actually an accurate self portrait, that he is directly related to the President, and that .......... He looked at his Avatar, and could see instantly, that it was the half closed eyes that would give away his secret - they were all a bunch of friggin' snoozers down there. It would have to be plastic surgery. "But where could I go without being found out" he thought and googled. Up came Quorn, "arse end of the earth" it said. That was good enough for him, so after a pre-flight which consisted of a stubby of Boggs (made from ...), he set the GPS for Quorn, being careful to fly around the beach because of you know what about certain engines. Now Turbo is quite an expert on Quorn after having taken the kids there years ago, and can vouch for the ferocity of the dogs, which are all allowed to run loose in the town. Quorn is also the bindii capital of the world as Turbo found out went he took the family for an environmetally friendly bike ride which ended with everyone pushing their bikes the last five km home. He counted 28 punctures and feared he may be stranded in the small town when he went down to the store to buy patches. He needn't have worried, every second shop had a sign "puncture repair kits for sale"; there were THOUSANDS of patches available. As Turbo walked past the main service station there was a Land Cruiser there with the radiator out and tghe head off the engine, and a Grey Nomad sitting in the gutter with his head in his hands crying - it's that kind of town. It was here thaty CFI alighted (or rather bounced three times on the nose wheel, getting five bindii punture in the process) He quickly found what he was looking for. On a door with faded red paint, and water stains was some faint signwriting which said "Flinders P.P. Flyer" Fellow of the Royal College of Plastic Surgeons, Delhi. Don't ring us, we'll ring you usually at dinner time. With fear and trepidation CFI rang the doorbell...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 With fear and trepidation CFI rang the doorbell...... .........and heard a voice coming from the speaker next to the bell button "Hello, you have reached the home of FPPF, all our inhabitants are busy or unavailable so we are unable to answer the doorbell at this time. If you need to speak to Flyer, press the bell once, if you want to meet with Ms Flyer, press the bell twice, or you can just turn around and leave" Now this confused CFakir who was only just getting used to the round dial telephone, let alone modern devices and technology such as mobile phones, ipods, the internet and horseless carriages. Being Taswegian meant that he had a sheltered and isolated upbringing (even colour TV was a recent innovation) "All I wanted was some advice" he stammered at the doorbell, "Can you tell me where......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 .........and heard a voice coming from the speaker next to the bell button"Hello, you have reached the home of FPPF, all our inhabitants are busy or unavailable so we are unable to answer the doorbell at this time. If you need to speak to Flyer, press the bell once, if you want to meet with Ms Flyer, press the bell twice, or you can just turn around and leave" Now this confused CFakir who was only just getting used to the round dial telephone, let alone modern devices and technology such as mobile phones, ipods, the internet and horseless carriages. Being Taswegian meant that he had a sheltered and isolated upbringing (even colour TV was a recent innovation) "All I wanted was some advice" he stammered at the doorbell, "Can you tell me where......... ......... and when Bass & Flinders are due to land." "Don't ask me" wrote FF (with a quill) "As I live in SA, mate, and we are only 20 years ahead of you, so the printing press hasn't even been invented here yet." "And don't you Mextorians laugh either" added the Faker "As the proposal to call Melbourne "Batville" is still on the cards, you know." "Where is the "aviation reference"?" asked one of the MagnificentModerati. "Well" responded Brine "I can't find "Batville" in my ERSA". "That's easy" said the MagesticMachismoModeratti "It's right below ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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