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Posted
...on Mt Sinai for all to see.

But none did because it had been deleted............

...... the demandments had been Moderated by Lucifer, and Moses had been banned for .....

 

 

Posted
...... the demandments had been Moderated by Lucifer, and Moses had been banned for .....

.....treading in the path of the righteous....

 

 

Posted
.....treading in the path of the righteous....

.... when everyone knows that the PIC should sit on the left.

 

Lot's wife thought for a while, drew breath and said "That's because ..............

 

 

Posted
.... when everyone knows that the PIC should sit on the left.

Lot's wife thought for a while, drew breath and said "That's because ..............

....he's not eating enough salt. Now he's set fire to the library, and the history of the Bible is going up in smoke....

 

 

Posted
....he's not eating enough salt. Now he's set fire to the library, and the history of the Bible is going up in smoke....

...... "No worries" said Osama, "As in the spirit of cooperation between our 2 great religions, if your Bible historical stuff gets burnt, feel free to use our book. It has much the same stuff in it and it starts with a K. That is sure not to cause any friction over the next couple of thousand years. Oh .... and by the way, does anyone know how to fly a 767?"

 

"I can teach anyone to fly anything" replied Noah, as I have 4 gold bars on each epaulette ....... and the rest is history, with .....

 

 

Posted
"I can teach anyone to fly anything" replied Noah, as I have 4 gold bars on each epaulette ....... and the rest is history, with .....

".....spins, flick rolls, flying under bridges, engine failure over nunneries, temple flythroughs, and ditching in the Red Sea where we don't even sink"

 

Lucifer licked his flames........

 

 

Posted
".....spins, flick rolls, flying under bridges, engine failure over nunneries, temple flythroughs, and ditching in the Red Sea where we don't even sink"

Lucifer licked his flames........

...... and looked back at the plans on his drawing board, which showed 2 engines that he had been designing for a while. One was a 2-Stroke twin and the other was a 4 cylinder 4-stroke with water cooled heads.

 

"What shall I call them?" he asked all those stuck in pergatory "They are both designed to spin a crackshaft, so I'll start it with the word "Rotary" but I need some creative thinking from your blokes about what to add behind "Rotary", hey Scase-y, Adolf & JS? You blokes used to be pretty creative when you were above ground, what do yez reckon?"

 

Chris answered in Skippy-Spanish and said ".....

 

 

Posted
...... and looked back at the plans on his drawing board, which showed 2 engines that he had been designing for a while. One was a 2-Stroke twin and the other was a 4 cylinder 4-stroke with water cooled heads.

"What shall I call them?" he asked all those stuck in pergatory "They are both designed to spin a crackshaft, so I'll start it with the word "Rotary" but I need some creative thinking from your blokes about what to add behind "Rotary", hey Scase-y, Adolf & JS? You blokes used to be pretty creative when you were above ground, what do yez reckon?"

 

Chris answered in Skippy-Spanish and said ".....

".........Axus"

 

And it came to pass, after hundreds of years a graven image was brought forth and hitched to a cart made if many colours, and showing evident of the ancient profit Loximus who had a preference for counting rivets.

 

At the time these engines were designed, Loximus had been moved to the agricultural kibbutz where he was allocated to counting pumpkins.

 

One morning they were having breakfast when there was a huge BANG on the galvanised iron roof. Mrs Loximus looked out and saw her son running away.

 

"David!" she yelled, "Will you STOP playing with that sling, it will get you into a street fight one day!

 

 

Posted
".........Axus"

And it came to pass, after hundreds of years a graven image was brought forth and hitched to a cart made if many colours, and showing evident of the ancient profit Loximus who had a preference for counting rivets.

 

At the time these engines were designed, Loximus had been moved to the agricultural kibbutz where he was allocated to counting pumpkins.

 

One morning they were having breakfast when there was a huge BANG on the galvanised iron roof. Mrs Loximus looked out and saw her son running away.

 

"David!" she yelled, "Will you STOP playing with that sling, it will get you into a street fight one day!

...... and you know that the Roman whallopers have banned carrying slings in public places, even folding ones that farmers use to take stones out of horses hooves. They'll search you if you conceal them on your person."

 

Just then Ahloxus walked in and Mrs Loxus said "Fair go Steve, I'm the 1st to know when you have 4 slingshots concealed down the front of your tights ..... but then again, it IS Saturday morning and the kids have gone to Stoning Practice, so don't worry about taking that Gerry Can to the servo for ULP and come over .......

 

 

Posted

...

 

...... and you know that the Roman whallopers have banned carrying slings in public places, even folding ones that farmers use to take stones out of horses hooves. They'll search you if you conceal them on your person."

Just then Ahloxus walked in and Mrs Loxus said "Fair go Steve, I'm the 1st to know when you have 4 slingshots concealed down the front of your tights ..... but then again, it IS Saturday morning and the kids have gone to Stoning Practice, so don't worry about taking that Gerry Can to the servo for ULP and come over .......

"......here and let me adjust the apparatus, you never know when a stone might get out of place."

 

 

Posted
...

"......here and let me adjust the apparatus, you never know when a stone might get out of place."

"Is that a stone?" asked Loxie.

 

"No" replied Mrs Lox "I reckon that's only about 2 - 3 lbs (2 - 2.5 kgs) and will never be a stone. Ooops. Hang On. Now that is getting more like it. It's .....

 

 

Posted
"Is that a stone?" asked Loxie.

"No" replied Mrs Lox "I reckon that's only about 2 - 3 lbs (2 - 2.5 kgs) and will never be a stone. Ooops. Hang On. Now that is getting more like it. It's .....

"..... a killer gram.

 

 

Posted

Sorry got engrossed in the political thread by people who hate politics - what would they be called?

 

 

Posted
Sorry got engrossed in the political thread by people who hate politics - what would they be called?

"Is it the Politics Police p-lease?" asked Nanna who has a background on matters political and matters police polytechnic (she had a dalliance with a police cadet at the policeman's school).

 

"But what does that have to do with this Forum" asked Acki "Is it because .........

 

 

Posted
"Is it the Politics Police p-lease?" asked Nanna who has a background on matters political and matters police polytechnic (she had a dalliance with a police cadet at the policeman's school).

"But what does that have to do with this Forum" asked Acki "Is it because .........

"Arlokikeras was a political appointment?, or is he a sreeper secret agent waiting for........"

 

 

Posted
"Arlokikeras was a political appointment?, or is he a sreeper secret agent waiting for........"

..... word wal 2 to end, with a .....

 

 

Posted
..... word wal 2 to end, with a .....

".......bang"

 

"Hiroshima BANG much bigger than you say" said Nobushi "unexpected surprise that day, wife put washing on line, next thing washing at 30 thousand feet"

 

"How we going to survive" said Acki rhetorically in keeping with the trend, "Bento, Yoshi, Rijoji banned for brack hair, Fukushima f, well we won't go into that, Katzumo, Mochimo, on other site digging up evidence, and we living in City feeding on cat tails from Vietnamese Restaurant. We rived better in Cowla concentration camp. At reast we could concentrate.

 

 

Posted

But the Rat didn't answer, and after several evasive disussions Turbo found out he'd managed to get his white Suzuki shampooed at the local hair salon and was on his way down tyo Phillip Island for the bike races.

 

As he rode through the lush countryside and Cities like Henty, he was a picture of concentration on the big bike.

 

He'd bought a pair of aviator sunglasses so he could look like Darky, the long nose with sunburn cream on the top was pointed straight ahead and slightly upward, the whiskers streamed back and an angle, and he was wearing a custom made fluoro green jacket. The skinny legs hanging down spoiled the effect, but he knew that, no one was perfect.

 

As he rolled along on cruise control, he passed clumps of Harleys beside the road and felt a bit guilty that he hadn't checked over his tool box, but wondered why they would be checking tools on the side of the road.

 

Arriving at Benalla, there was a large group of bikies in the Roadhouse who all seemed to snigger when he walked in. This was embarrassing to Rat, who was a bit vain (site visitors may remember a certain meeting where a certain President back chatted him, and lost his job), but he'd watched a chilli eating competition at one of the tables and noticed the Harley riders only picking the greeen and yellow chillies out of the big jar on the counter.

 

Rat strode over, grabbed the biggest red chilli he could find, held it up, and threw it down his throat in one gulp. There was silence in the room.

 

Suddenly various diaphragms stated oil canning, and he raced for the door just as enormous streams of tears ran out of his eyes, his nose ran, and his ears blew smoke.

 

Fortunately the bikies didn't notice him, but when he rode away. on the back of his bike was a little sticker "When I grow up I'm going to be a Harley.)

 

 

Posted
But the Rat didn't answer, and after several evasive disussions Turbo found out he'd managed to get his white Suzuki shampooed at the local hair salon and was on his way down tyo Phillip Island for the bike races.

As he rode through the lush countryside and Cities like Henty, he was a picture of concentration on the big bike.

 

He'd bought a pair of aviator sunglasses so he could look like Darky, the long nose with sunburn cream on the top was pointed straight ahead and slightly upward, the whiskers streamed back and an angle, and he was wearing a custom made fluoro green jacket. The skinny legs hanging down spoiled the effect, but he knew that, no one was perfect.

 

As he rolled along on cruise control, he passed clumps of Harleys beside the road and felt a bit guilty that he hadn't checked over his tool box, but wondered why they would be checking tools on the side of the road.

 

Arriving at Benalla, there was a large group of bikies in the Roadhouse who all seemed to snigger when he walked in. This was embarrassing to Rat, who was a bit vain (site visitors may remember a certain meeting where a certain President back chatted him, and lost his job), but he'd watched a chilli eating competition at one of the tables and noticed the Harley riders only picking the greeen and yellow chillies out of the big jar on the counter.

 

Rat strode over, grabbed the biggest red chilli he could find, held it up, and threw it down his throat in one gulp. There was silence in the room.

 

Suddenly various diaphragms stated oil canning, and he raced for the door just as enormous streams of tears ran out of his eyes, his nose ran, and his ears blew smoke.

 

Fortunately the bikies didn't notice him, but when he rode away. on the back of his bike was a little sticker "When I grow up I'm going to be a Harley ............

......... mechanic. "That's a sure way to make a quid" said El Ratsack with a grin "And I'll sell stickers to all the architects, politicians, librarians and accountants who are now the main Harley buyers. The stickers will say "Now that I am paying off a Harley (HD = Highly Dangerous) I must really be a bad-boy." and another will say "Harleys .............. turning riders into Machanics since 1927 ..... and still using the same designers." It will be such fun that we'll ........................

 

 

Posted
......... mechanic. "That's a sure way to make a quid" said El Ratsack with a grin "And I'll sell stickers to all the architects, politicians, librarians and accountants who are now the main Harley buyers. The stickers will say "Now that I am paying off a Harley (HD = Highly Dangerous) I must really be a bad-boy." and another will say "Harleys .............. turning riders into Machanics since 1927 ..... and still using the same designers." It will be such fun that we'll ........................

"probably wake up Foxhunter who'll yell "Yer ALL MAD!" try to give the old Indian a kick start, realise she's not interested and go back to sleep, mumbling.....

 

 

Posted
"probably wake up Foxhunter who'll yell "Yer ALL MAD!" try to give the old Indian a kick start, realise she's not interested and go back to sleep, mumbling.....

...... Poke-a-hontis was never that hard to kick-start, but then again, she had never been exposed to an Axe-Driver with a ..................

 

 

Posted
...... Poke-a-hontis was never that hard to kick-start, but then again, she had never been exposed to an Axe-Driver with a ..................

rivet fetish

 

 

Posted
rivet fetish

who were now on the endangered species list

 

Ever since the Ratbros had invaded their habitat, the rivetfetish population had been declining

 

The International Friends of the Rivetfetish (IFR) who had taken up residence at Cowra (not that there is anything wrong with that) proposes to castrate every Ratbros in the region in an effort preserve the cuddly little creatures

 

"Ahhhhsooo" said Sir Nobulus the IFR leader "We rike rivetfetish and must do research. That is why we have factory ship and harpoons in Cowra Harbour. We try to ............

 

 

Posted
who were now on the endangered species listEver since the Ratbros had invaded their habitat, the rivetfetish population had been declining

 

The International Friends of the Rivetfetish (IFR) who had taken up residence at Cowra (not that there is anything wrong with that) proposes to castrate every Ratbros in the region in an effort preserve the cuddly little creatures

 

"Ahhhhsooo" said Sir Nobulus the IFR leader "We rike rivetfetish and must do research. That is why we have factory ship and harpoons in Cowra Harbour. We try to ............

...find way out of Cowra to sea and set about having whale of time. We bedda ged owt before Mavis arrives with her ...............

 

 

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