The Never Ending Story

[Bryon]

..... as the Callier was one of ours and the Empelor was pletty clanky (he was rivid) , until I exprained that ......

....Tubbo in his pink tutu, porished helemet and Nu zearand accent would be a good decoy for ........

 

 

[Bryon]

Bugga, slow fingers again (beaten by the flashrat with fast digits)

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... as the Callier was one of ours and the Empelor was pletty clanky (he was rivid) , until I exprained that ......

....successful randing was made on sea, and then he was REARY CLANKY!"

 

 

[Captain]

....successful randing was made on sea, and then he was REARY CLANKY!"

....... but then the Emporer softened in the kind fatherly way that all Emporers do, and said the japanese equivalent of "Don't wolly maate. Any randing is a good randing if'n you can wark away flom it" then he put his arm around my wet shoulders, invited me to have dinner and high-jinks with his daughters, awarded me the Iron Closs (Hitrer then got rivid too, when he found out) and tucked me into ................

 

 

[Captain]

And Himmrer was also pletty clanky. Perhaps because I had the Iron Closs and he just had one reft barr?

 

 

[turboplanner]

And Himmrer was also pletty clanky. Perhaps because I had the Iron Closs and he just had one reft barr?

"Which histolic photos show he sclatched with light hand".

 

 

[turboplanner]

"..it wah a cunning pran to trick us into randing before last light.

[Moderated by the 12th Moderator - sperring, shood read rast right. Ahrocks not have staying power]

 

 

[ahlocks]

[Moderated by the 12th Moderator - sperring, shood read rast right. Ahrocks not have staying power]

[ Oops...]

 

 

[Captain]

[ Oops...]

... said Ahchoo, who has 3 barrs and not enough hands to sclatch them all at the one time. (which leminded him of the old joke ............. Q - Why do women rub their eyes in the morning after they wake up? A - Because they have no barrs to sclatch.)

 

"You need all three too" said Rocksoff "When you have aspirations to be a thoroughly modern Moderatur(d), and your ...............

 

My Aunt reckons that McJockLox was a bit risque telling that joke, but that's his choice, she reckons.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Oops hard word to forrow" said Sir Nobulus, who had received his Knighthood in New Zealand because that's the way they are over there.

 

How he achieved that knighthood is an amazing story.

 

Readers might recall that Sir Nobulus was Nobuko, one of the Japanese Prisoner of War who escaped from the Cowra Concentration Camp (sorry, only the Germans had concentration camps, didn't they?). After the escape he and the other escapees hid in the bush and collected vegetable seeds from farm gardens at night, eventually building up commercial market gardens, and after disguising themselves as members of the Greens Party, where all the members look odd, were able to sell them in commercial quantities and build weekenders on the river, finally escaping Australia in a fleet of Jabs, running out of fuel, but intercepting a sub, piloted by some tart that was so busy asking questions she rammed Australia, and they all had to disperse among the population.

 

Nob took a job in security after failing the Police entry questionnaire and after many years rose to become bodyguard to the Prime Minister, who at that time happened to be Robert James Lee Hawke.

 

The Prime Minister weary from filling out forms would often call out "Nobuko!" with a frown on his face, and all the staff would snigger thinking Nob was for the high jump, but as soon as the door closed NOB and Bob would both rush for the Esky, and "Fssssttt" the stubbies would be cracked and they'd talk the afternoon away.

 

So when Paul Keating did the number on Bob, Nob was not amused.

 

We should also add at this point that the Japanese have always been monarchists, at times offering to buy the Queen, lease the Queen or adopt the Queen.

 

Fast forwarding in time, we note that Paul Keating has let out part of the story in the article below, just the part where he was the hero and told the Queen we didn't need her any more.

 

Astute readers (you'll have to catch up Ahlo) will note that the Queens response was to take him up to an isolated hut in the bush.

 

As it happens Turbo was in the Landrover on that terrifying trip through the bush. Paul was Pi$$ed from the whiskeys the Queen had pumped in to him and obviously doesn't remember much about it. Turbo had been employed by the Queen as an interpreter part way through the tour because she couldn't understand a word he was saying, and he was also asked to make sure Paul kept his hands off her.

 

Unlike the new media these days who issue a mild warning then show the most gruesome details, Turbo has softened the story about what happened in the hut.

 

The Landrover skidded the last ten metres and came to rest just outside the hut door.

 

"In here Scumbag!" she said to the Prime Minister in language he finally understood, and, grabbing him by the collar, flung him through the door.

 

She then turned to Nob (Turbo was hiding behind a wheel), and said "Are you with me or against me Nobuko?" which was a smart question because Nob badly missed the days when Bob and Nob drank stubbies, and was feeling very dry.

 

Turbo closed his ears after the first few sentences which started with "So you think you don't $%#@*&% need me do you?" and the long and the sort of it was the two of them belted the sh$t out of the Paul Keating, and they left him there in the hut to find his own way home to Canberra.

 

Within a few days the Queen had told Tony Blair only to buy New Zealand wool, told the NZ Prime Minister she was pretty, and asked them to do her a favour.

 

The recommendation for Nob's knighthood came later that year, and Turbo was invited to Buckingham Palace for the investiture.

 

There was a slight moment when the Queen picked up a sword and Nob thought she was going to cut his head off, but she reassured him it was blunt anyway, and soon

 

the three of them were cracking stubbies and sticking it up the clock collector.

 

Please don't tell anyone about this part of history because......

 

[This story was brought to you by Windsor69, whose name is linked to the Royal Family, but we can't tell you why for another fifty years.]

 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/how-i-told-the-queen-we-did-not-need-her-anymore/story-e6frg6z6-1226172240908&h=NAQGn_lWKAQHeW1Liku1KPDYNCx9o8S4MzmhYKDZNGM5-uA

 

 

[Captain]

"I'm not sure that is an accurate depiction of what happened" said Her Madge, (who rarely speaks with the public on forums such as this, and usually reserves her comments to people she can trust, like Sir Rat KCBM, OBE, VD & scar) then she added "As Phil the Greek saw it all, and told me that ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"I'm not sure that is an accurate depiction of what happened" said Her Madge, (who rarely speaks with the public on forums such as this, and usually reserves her comments to people she can trust, like Sir Rat KCBM, OBE, VD & scar) then she added "As Phil the Greek saw it all, and told me that ............

"....I had put on weight".

 

Philip quickly disappeared out of sight, and HM continued on down the line waving and picking up flowers, when out from the back of the crowd....

 

 

[bull]

a piercing voice could be heard yelling in greek" me rellos and me own this country if you want conformation of this go to ingham he said, the best souvalakis in the world are made there he said,

 

 

[turboplanner]

".....they're all Queensownlanders there"

 

"Well what about....."

 

 

[Captain]

".....they're all Queensownlanders there"

"Well what about....."

...... that?" she asked quizically. "Does that meen the Ingham-ites all look like me, or Freddie Mercury?"

 

"Sorry Madge" replied Thomo the Homo (sapian) "They are definitely Fred-like, with a ........

 

 

[bull]

...Black hemi cruiser and brillcream

 

 

[Captain]

...Black hemi cruiser and brillcream

.... which is used in the back seat of the Cruiser to ....................

 

 

[bull]

form new policys for the masses........

 

 

[Captain]

form new policys for the masses........

..... and to make the souvlakis slip down more easily, before they .......

 

 

[bull]

rock up to the centerlink office for their fortnightly pay check, What screamed her madge, this is unaustralian call out the army ......

 

 

[Captain]

rock up to the centerlink office for their fortnightly pay check, What screamed her madge, this is unaustralian call out the army ......

...... as they are just up the road."

 

"Do you want the Skip Army or the Grik Army" asked Her Madge's Equiry "As the Grik Army is a bit short of cash at the moment, and the forward gears in their tank are broken (but the reverse has worked well for centuries), and the Aussie Army is down in Canberra running RAA for the next couple of days, so can it wait until .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...Black hemi cruiser and brillcream

In fact Ingham is the Hemi cruiser capital of the world. There's one there, the rest all rusted out.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo had lost place in the mad scramble after bull got out of the gate.

 

Ingham of course became famous for chickens. They weren't chickens really, just scrawny scrub turkeys, but the carcasses almost exactly matched the gas and steroid loaded ones from the south.

 

Two Italian brothers started the business after they discovered tourists were feeding scraps from their caravans to the scrub turkeys so it was a profitable operation.

 

The brothers renamed themselves after the town and tried to breed race horses but they could never fatten them enough for the lucrative Black Angus market.

 

 

[bull]

screamed the headlines in the local rag,Bugger the hemi cruiser madge screamed call out the salvation army with their lethal collection boxes to take on those brillcream boys......

 

 

[Captain]

screamed the headlines in the local rag,Bugger the hemi cruiser madge screamed call out the salvation army with their lethal collection boxes to take on those brillcream boys......

"Build on the rock" they sang "And not upon ......