The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

"...Boy, I was taught in St. Pauls by the Archbishop himself'

"Gently with the stick" said Dark Aviator "or you'll hit that wigwam........"

.... and that's the one where Nanna lives. See that well worn path to her door."

 

"Is that the track made by the Harper Valley PTA?" asked Darky who hard heard her Grandpa talk about it Jeanie C Riley & Mrs Johnson's skirts, when humming a tune last century.

 

"Harp? HARP? HARP? She never stops" said Flies by Thumbs, who is also known around the tribe as Plays-with-Lox (but who's family know him as Plays-with-Self, as it's hard to get any real privacy in a TeePee). "Around here Nanna is known as ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... and that's the one where Nanna lives. See that well worn path to her door."

"Is that the track made by the Harper Valley PTA?" asked Darky who hard heard her Grandpa talk about it Jeanie C Riley & Mrs Johnson's skirts, when humming a tune last century.

 

"Harp? HARP? HARP? She never stops" said Flies by Thumbs, who is also known around the tribe as Plays-with-Lox (but who's family know him as Plays-with-Self, as it's hard to get any real privacy in a TeePee). "Around here Nanna is known as ...............

"......squaw loose....."

 

 

[Bryon]

"......squaw loose....."

.....with a tendency to pee in teepees. This habit seems to upset Plays-with-Lox who...............

 

 

[Captain]

.....with a tendency to pee in teepees. This habit seems to upset Plays-with-Lox who...............

... who half the tribe knew as Detol-Boy, as he splashed it around like there was no tomorrow. He used it as aftershave where the Old Spice was old hat, instead of Californian Poppy on his lustrous Locks, instead of WD40 to keep the Axe running when it rained, he also put it in his back passage when the mice piddled there and also on the verandah, and he sprayed it around Nanna's Tee and Pee, which ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

... who half the tribe knew as Detol-Boy, as he splashed it around like there was no tomorrow. He used it as aftershave where the Old Spice was old hat, instead of Californian Poppy on his lustrous Locks, instead of WD40 to keep the Axe running when it rained, he also put it in his back passage when the mice piddled there and also on the verandah, and he sprayed it around Nanna's Tee and Pee, which ......

...kept the customers down because they preferred firewater, particularly TomoHoldsisBritchesup, BryonManCompetition, RatEatsMinties, LockshimselfOut, little bull, IgniteMostlyOut, BravePylonWeight, FoxhunterIndianRider.

 

The last four had ventured into the NES Saloon a few days ago, but had been intimidated by the obvious talent of the others, and LockshimselfOut, however something was about to happen.............

 

 

[turboplanner]

NEWS FLASH

 

The NES is read by many people including the famous Eddie McGuire, who obviously resonates with our main character Ratso.

 

Congratulating the winner of Millionaire Hotseat last night, he said "You look as happy as a Rat with a Gold Tooth!"

 

Who knows, we may even see our rat in the hot seat one night, which wouldn't be all that out of character since he has hot pants every other night.

 

 

[Captain]

...kept the customers down because they preferred firewater, particularly TomoHoldsisBritchesup, BryonManCompetition, RatEatsMinties, LockshimselfOut, little bull, IgniteMostlyOut, BravePylonWeight, FoxhunterIndianRider.

The last four had ventured into the NES Saloon a few days ago, but had been intimidated by the obvious talent of the others, and LockshimselfOut, however something was about to happen.............

....... "Well, we certainly hope so" said Ian and several of the MagnificentModeratti, as the NES needs an injection instead of being stuck in a timewharp with Ratpoo and the TuberPlanter "What this story needs is an injection of new something by someone, sometime, somehow, somewhere, and we know just the ......

 

Le plume de ma Tante reckons that Eddie is a close mate of The Rat, after all, ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....... "Well, we certainly hope so" said Ian and several of the MagnificentModeratti, as the NES needs an injection instead of being stuck in a timewharp with Ratpoo and the TuberPlanter "What this story needs is an injection of new something by someone, sometime, somehow, somewhere, and we know just the ......Le plume de ma Tante reckons that Eddie is a close mate of The Rat, after all, ......

........somewhat, but.....

 

 

[Captain]

........somewhat, but.....

..... "Summer is just alound the corner", Nobu said, summarily "And I leckon that ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... "Summer is just alound the corner", Nobu said, summarily "And I leckon that ......

".......PlaneDrivel will get sunburnt and be along shortly to complain there aren't enough aviation terms around"

 

"Come in Spinner........"

 

 

[Captain]

".......PlaneDrivel will get sunburnt and be along shortly to complain there aren't enough aviation terms around"

"Come in Spinner........"

"You can't do that" said the CASA Inspector "It's against the Glenelg Convention, and can also make them out of balance and hard to clean. Besides, a spinner is too ........

 

Le plume de ma Tante went all Dorothea like and said "I love a sunburnt country (as long as you have a high-wing configuration to stop the sunstroke), a land of swooping planes, we meet each year at Termora with AVGAS (or PULP [& Jerry-Cans]) in our veins".

 

 

[turboplanner]

"You can't do that" said the CASA Inspector "It's against the Glenelg Convention, and can also make them out of balance and hard to clean. Besides, a spinner is too .........

"difficult to hold on to unless you grab her by the ears, and then...."

 

 

[Bryon]

"difficult to hold on to unless you grab her by the ears, and then...."

....when she goes pear shaped..........

 

 

[Captain]

....when she goes pear shaped..........

... "There will be trouble" added Salty "So you'll have to order a Cummins Spinner, and a ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

... "There will be trouble" added Salty "So you'll have to order a Cummins Spinner, and a ......

"....set of big spats so you can........."

 

 

[Captain]

"....set of big spats so you can........."

... return to the good old days of Adelaide, a place where Tubb's obscure but clever references almost always return us to, because everyone knows about the TubbyPlanner and Spats Coffee Emporium in King William Street.

 

"Hello, hello, hello" said Sargent Gay of the Adelaide constabulary "As everyone knows that the Planter's predeliction to women's clothing and 5-day old possum road-kill started in Goodwood and has continued on into the ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

........depths of places like Elizabeth, Salisbury, and even, God help us, Golden Grove,

 

Turbo had flown to Adelaide from Melbourne in a Savannah with VG wings; it only took him 13 days.

 

He'd had plenty of tangles with the good Sergeant in his younger days as a hoon, but age and an obvious diet of Coopers had changed the Officer.

 

So when he was pulled over, Turbo got out of the car, and smiling in tentative recognition said "Are you Gay?............"

 

 

[Captain]

........depths of places like Elizabeth, Salisbury, and even, God help us, Golden Grove,

Turbo had flown to Adelaide from Melbourne in a Savannah with VG wings; it only took him 13 days.

 

He'd had plenty of tangles with the good Sergeant in his younger days as a hoon, but age and an obvious diet of Coopers had changed the Officer.

 

So when he was pulled over, Turbo got out of the car, and smiling in tentative recognition said "Are you Gay?............"

"I'm the Sarge" was his reply. "I am quite happy (aviation term) and I have a big trunchion, so if you Mextorians don't behave yourselves, my trunchion is going to make a mess of your empennage (aviation term) from without or within, now why don't you just bring your spinner (aviation term) over here and ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"I'm the Sarge" was his reply. "I am quite happy (aviation term) and I have a big trunchion, so if you Mextorians don't behave yourselves, my trunchion is going to make a mess of your empennage (aviation term) from without or within, now why don't you just bring your spinner (aviation term) over here and ............

 

".....put it in the aft (aviation term) of the Divvy van where.............."

 

 

[Captain]

".....put it in the aft (aviation term) of the Divvy van where.............."

..... you can bank (nice aviation term if < 30 degrees) that we will beat (lair's aviation term) you up (Newton's aviation term), and then we'll chuck (yucky aviation term) you out of a moving (another Newton's aviation term) vehicle at your hotel, where you will be tired (human factors aviation term) and emotional, before we stick (aviation term) you back in the van (Cessna aviation term) and ask you some serious questions (Temora aviation term) about where you got all of that gold for your epaulettes (pozer's recreational aviation term) when you ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... you can bank (nice aviation term if < 30 degrees) that we will beat (lair's aviation term) you up (Newton's aviation term), and then we'll chuck (yucky aviation term) you out of a moving (another Newton's aviation term) vehicle at your hotel, where you will be tired (human factors aviation term) and emotional, before we stick (aviation term) you back in the van (Cessna aviation term) and ask you some serious questions (Temora aviation term) about where you got all of that gold for your epaulettes (pozer's recreational aviation term) when you ................

 

"became an aviation termite"

 

 

[Captain]

"became an aviation termite"

..... who might be terminated if he keeps this up."

 

"I love aviation termites" commented Nanna "As they usually have a sizeable mound, which is always a good indication of the size of their .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... who might be terminated if he keeps this up."

"I love aviation termites" commented Nanna "As they usually have a sizeable mound, which is always a good indication of the size of their .....

"....activity...."

 

 

[Captain]

"....activity...."

.......... "And speaking of "activity" does anyone know whether GoldyLox has been seen having coffee with anyone recently?" asked Ratatoille with concern for LockwoodLarry's ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......... "And speaking of "activity" does anyone know whether GoldyLox has been seen having coffee with anyone recently?" asked Ratatoille with concern for LockwoodLarry's ...............

.....paycheck. Turbo knew but had been sworn to secrecy. It involved........