The Never Ending Story

[Bryon]

...... bubble that Queens Landers have been living in for the past 50 years.

And it didn't just crack, it ...............

......threw a real hissy fit, for Bubbles was only her stage name. Her real name was George Aloyicious Magillacuddy from Dalby (it is Queens Land after all).

 

She didnt like to be called 'it' (Adams Family term) and had taken to resorting to physical violence whenever 'it' was used.

 

Bubbles would give any miscreant a nasty chinese burn to get them to mind their tongue. She was even prone to giving them a severe lashing with her feather boa whilst reciting the teachings of J B-P in a nasal whine.

 

Many a man had suffered this treatment, which is why......................

 

 

[Captain]

......threw a real hissy fit, for Bubbles was only her stage name. Her real name was George Aloyicious Magillacuddy from Dalby (it is Queens Land after all).She didnt like to be called 'it' (Adams Family term) and had taken to resorting to physical violence whenever 'it' was used.

 

Bubbles would give any miscreant a nasty chinese burn to get them to mind their tongue. She was even prone to giving them a severe lashing with her feather boa whilst reciting the teachings of J B-P in a nasal whine.

 

Many a man had suffered this treatment, which is why......................

..... Hissy made a new year's resolution to get fitter, George promised not to make bubbles in the bath again without the exhaust fan on, the feather boa felt constricted (because boas are all the rage at Ahgetyourrocksoff's Blue Oyster Bar), and Nanna promised not to use the word "It" again in pubic (as in her usual "Stick it in ................

 

 

[bull]

your eye way]But now Sir Nobu and malcom frazer where stranded at that little motel outside Waggll Wagglll/The call girl stole all their clothes/wallets/phones/car.........Now what do we do "cried mal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Calm down Mal shouted Nobu........... .. Mgyver would find a way out of this?????he thought.......................

 

 

[Bryon]

your eye way]But now Sir Nobu and malcom frazer where stranded at that little motel outside Waggll Wagglll/The call girl stole all their clothes/wallets/phones/car.........Now what do we do "cried mal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Calm down Mal shouted Nobu........... .. Mgyver would find a way out of this?????he thought.......................

.....of course, transendental meditation, why didnt I think of it before, we can.............

 

 

[bull]

use this method.[developed and tested in dandyrong] to levitate ourselves onto a different plane and escape [any plane will do ,drifter/gazelle/lightwing.......SirNobu cried out---------------------...........Mal have you seen my fish net stockings? .I,ll need them for the..................

 

 

[Guest DJH]

... Christmas presents. I'll fill them with gifts from Clear Prop Discount Pilot Supplies. They'll hang from the mantle near the fireplace. Just as well they're the red fishnets, they'll match the colour of your....

 

 

[Bryon]

... Christmas presents. I'll fill them with gifts from Clear Prop Discount Pilot Supplies. They'll hang from the mantle near the fireplace. Just as well they're the red fishnets, they'll match the colour of your....

.....face if I get hold of you" interupted Ahrocksoff. "Those are my best fishnets and the ones I always wear to the Blue Oyster Club"

 

"Next time you wear em" said Elratto "make sure you shave your legs first as I hate it when.............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....face if I get hold of you" interupted Ahrocksoff. "Those are my best fishnets and the ones I always wear to the Blue Oyster Club""Next time you wear em" said Elratto "make sure you shave your legs first as I hate it when.............

 

"....I get bristled while I'm dancing" This was a rare admission for the rodent who usually was to be found in the audience with the upskirting camera he'd borrowed from the Major's Drifter ( but that's a long story). [Not the real Major of course, he ran away]

 

 

[Captain]

"....I get bristled while I'm dancing" This was a rare admission for the rodent who usually was to be found in the audience with the upskirting camera he'd borrowed from the Major's Drifter ( but that's a long story). [Not the real Major of course, he ran away]

"Don't worry about an upskirting camera" replied ElRatsack "As a Rat with a gold tooth will, or course, have highly polished patent leather shoes, that are so polished that tou can sometimes see the bristles (if the ladies are so inclined), but at the Blue Oyster Bar, where GoldyLockwood's name is over the door, all you can see are .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Don't worry about an upskirting camera" replied ElRatsack "As a Rat with a gold tooth will, or course, have highly polished patent leather shoes, that are so polished that tou can sometimes see the bristles (if the ladies are so inclined), but at the Blue Oyster Bar, where GoldyLockwood's name is over the door, all you can see are .................

.....fieries with two day beards and jicks that haven't been washed for weeks, and...

 

 

[Captain]

.....fieries with two day beards and jicks that haven't been washed for weeks, and...

... the Locky, standing there in his fishnets with legs akimbo, and with various bristles sticking out through the holes (some long, some short), after the AhChoo had used his trendy stubble clippers (the same ones that Mark Webber uses to look like a yuppie wanker) to shape the words "I love Sportstars" in the hair of both thighs (erky perky) and "912's forever" in the hairs around his .......

 

 

[Bryon]

... the Locky, standing there in his fishnets with legs akimbo, and with various bristles sticking out through the holes (some long, some short), after the AhChoo had used his trendy stubble clippers (the same ones that Mark Webber uses to look like a yuppie wanker) to shape the words "I love Sportstars" in the hair of both thighs (erky perky) and "912's forever" in the hairs around his .......

....tattoo of a Beercan in full flight"

 

Very few people knew of this Tattoo (not even his Mum) as he had aquired it whilst in a state of severe inebriation. The Famous Ahrocksoff Tattoo Incident (FATI) occurred while he was visiting a nightclub of dubious reputation on the wharves just outside the gate to the naval base in downtown Saigon.

 

Ahrocksy is still a little confused about the details of the FATI and refuses to discuss it with old sailors that bring up the subject. Especially when they mention...........

 

 

[bull]

pacifiers,he goes all quiet and gets a glassy look in his eye .Several minutes go buy in complete silence and then..................

 

 

[Captain]

pacifiers,he goes all quiet and gets a glassy look in his eye .Several minutes go buy in complete silence and then..................

.... someone mentioned "That looks more like an "Indian Ocean'ier" and we've heard tails about what goes on in the back rooms at the Blue Oyster, where dummies run the joint and where dummies are also used for gratification as ..............

 

 

[Captain]

.... someone mentioned "That looks more like an "Indian Ocean'ier" and we've heard tails about what goes on in the back rooms at the Blue Oyster, where dummies run the joint and where dummies are also used for gratification as ..............

..... props (aviation term) at his concerts.

 

Because McJockLovacian had joined that well known Dutch Schwing Band, the "Fishnet Schtockings".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And as their website so clearly says Quote .. De vier bouwden sinds 2000 in Horst en omstreken een reputatie op met hun onvermoeibare enthousiasme, muzikale talent en originele plunjes. Fishnet Stockings boekt enorme successen op de steeds langer wordende lijst van optredens door heel Nederland, Duitsland en België. De band staat nooit stil. Toerend in hun alweer derde oldtimerbus, bezoeken ze zowel kleine zalen als grote podia, concerten en festivals. En waar ze ook optreden, Fishnet Stockings maakt bij elke gelegenheid de authentieke sound van de Rock & Roll uit de jaren ’50 en ’60 weer spring- en swinglevend!

 

 

 

 

Fred: Zang * Frank: Gitaar * Twan: Contra bas * Peter: Drums

 

WWW.FISHNETSTOCKINGS.NL Unquote

 

 

 

 

 

 

Und zo, it all became clear (aviation weather term), the Key Twiddler had put on his lederhosen (that's him below, taken last night at the BOB) & become a .................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... props (aviation term) at his concerts.

 

Because McJockLovacian had joined that well known Dutch Schwing Band, the Fishnet Schtockings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And as their website so clearly says Quote .. De vier bouwden sinds 2000 in Horst en omstreken een reputatie op met hun onvermoeibare enthousiasme, muzikale talent en originele plunjes. Fishnet Stockings boekt enorme successen op de steeds langer wordende lijst van optredens door heel Nederland, Duitsland en België. De band staat nooit stil. Toerend in hun alweer derde oldtimerbus, bezoeken ze zowel kleine zalen als grote podia, concerten en festivals. En waar ze ook optreden, Fishnet Stockings maakt bij elke gelegenheid de authentieke sound van de Rock & Roll uit de jaren ’50 en ’60 weer spring- en swinglevend!

 

 

 

 

Fred: Zang * Frank: Gitaar * Twan: Contra bas * Peter: Drums

 

WWW.FISHNETSTOCKINGS.NL Unquote

 

 

 

 

 

 

Und zo, it all became clear (aviation weather term), the Key Twiddler had put on his lederhosen (that's him below, taken last night at the BOB) & become a .................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

......pinup to the toothless rabble in Canberra, where Julia has said "Fishnet Stockings boekt enorme successen en Neferland, and if Oim seen with them here the polls may start to inch up from 10,000 feet below. It's not fair that that horrible Laurie Oakes said I had the odour of a dead carp!"

 

So they gave the Key Twiddler a first class ticket on Qantas via the nearest landing spot to fix an engine, and said "Come to the head of the Refugee queue"

 

There's the rub, they didn't even know he was Australian.

 

During the evaluation process, an official asked KT "What is your reason for being a refugee" and KT replied "I live in Wagga Wagga" so the official immediately stamped the papers and said "Welcome to Australia, you've suffered enough".

 

But south of Adelaide there was...

 

 

[Captain]

......pinup to the toothless rabble in Canberra, where Julia has said "Fishnet Stockings boekt enorme successen en Neferland, and if Oim seen with them here the polls may start to inch up from 10,000 feet below. It's not fair that that horrible Laurie Oakes said I had the odour of a dead carp!"

So they gave the Key Twiddler a first class ticket on Qantas via the nearest landing spot to fix an engine, and said "Come to the head of the Refugee queue"

 

There's the rub, they didn't even know he was Australian.

 

During the evaluation process, an official asked KT "What is your reason for being a refugee" and KT replied "I live in Wagga Wagga" so the official immediately stamped the papers and said "Welcome to Australia, you've suffered enough".

 

But south of Adelaide there was...

.... consternation because that photo is almost identical to the national dress and mayoral garb in Victor Harbour.

 

"Vot ist wrong with a red shirt with Bruce Schpringsteen sleeves und mein yellow lederhosen?" asked the mayor (who also owns ein SchportSzara too), "Because with my mayoral chain in that gear I fit in well with the Twiddler, and we have a ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... consternation because that photo is almost identical to the national dress and mayoral garb in Victor Harbour.

"Vot ist wrong with a red shirt with Bruce Schpringsteen sleeves und mein yellow lederhosen?" asked the mayor (who also owns ein SchportSzara too), "Because with my mayoral chain in that gear I fit in well with the Twiddler, and we have a ..............

"....Mayoral dongle vich I only brink art iff ze Bluie Oysters Hoffbrauhaus iss almost empty and quiet as a maus, but on"

 

 

[Captain]

"....Mayoral dongle vich I only brink art iff ze Bluie Oysters Hoffbrauhaus iss almost empty and quiet as a maus, but on"

....... Wednesday nights the haus is not as quiet as a maus because AhKeyTwiddler yells "Raus, raus" and really lets his hair down. It's about then that my Mayoral dongle gets .......................

 

 

[Bryon]

....... Wednesday nights the haus is not as quiet as a maus because AhKeyTwiddler yells "Raus, raus" and really lets his hair down. It's about then that my Mayoral dongle gets .......................

..........dangled from my doodle (art term to avoid the mad mods) to attract............

 

 

[bull]

a branch of the Blue oyster club called coloured mollusc de lederhosen which snapped up mcjocklovocian for their leading act so we have a bit of...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

a branch of the Blue oyster club called coloured mollusc de lederhosen which snapped up mcjocklovocian for their leading act so we have a bit of...................

......rederhosen mich hausrat wearen outen ze open.

 

 

[Captain]

......rederhosen mich hausrat wearen outen ze open.

The Hofbrauhaus was therefore no longer as quiet as a maus, because someone's spouse caught the Twiddler (and the Mayor) with Klaus. She said that he had no nous, called him a loose louse and then ..............

 

Ma Tante just sent me the below photo of bull (with Turdbro in the cream number in the background) at last year's Bone Leder-Gras (or was it Mardi-Hosen). Anyway, I pass it on in the interests of full disclosure. She thinks he'd look good out in the garden.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

The Hofbrauhaus was therefore no longer as quiet as a maus, because someone's spouse caught the Twiddler (and the Mayor) with Klaus. She said that he had no nous, called him a loose louse and then ..............

...said "raus RUAS!", when he......

 

Turbo is aghast that Rat's Aus would spring him and his graus chick like that, in such a public forum. Since it's now out in the open, take a look at the bruises on his knees, it's no wonder that his posts have been only sporadic

 

 

[turboplanner]

NES NEWS ITEM!

 

Turbo's previous post was shortened after a Telstra Limo (Sol's old car according to the driver) and a spin doctor got out and presented him with his own personally named Mobile Boadband Modem.

 

"You've spent more money with our company than anyone else in Australia" said the spin doctor who was blonde and had spent the first five minutes touching up her not unattractive hair in the reflection from the windows. "Could we take a photo of you with the modem?

 

"Sure" said Turbo.

 

"But not with......"

 

"Not with what?" asked Turbo

 

She hesitated then said "Not with the lipstick"

 

"Ah sorry" said Turbo "that bloody Guernsey just dropped in before you came and.....