The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...... "But" said AhLoxley, who often put such long sentences together "Bull's dodging and weaving looks a lot like his skipping and prancing at the bone Mardi Gras or his PIO in the jack-a-cricket when he is flying illegally at 300 ft X-country mid summer, when the thermals are making his jacques-a-grillon dance through the sky like a ....................

..... ecsargot grosse avec teeth aches monseur Rette"

 

"Booger" said mon Tante "Zee software has done it again, throwing 2 posts up after mon worked up mon responde. Mon are getting seek & peeesed off at zees".

Ah bien, mon should perhaps put ze finger on ze piano key instead of sh$tt$ng upon it

 

 

[Captain]

..... Ah bien, mon should perhaps put ze finger on ze piano key instead of sh$tt$ng upon it

"Non, mon TurdyPeugeot" responde Le Rodente-handsome "Vous should still be at 50 ft (15.24 metres et non une cm lower) when crossing zeee keys, just like zeeeee .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Non, mon TurdyPeugeot" responde Le Rodente-handsome "Vous should still be at 50 ft (15.24 metres et non une cm lower) when crossing zeee keys, just like zeeeee .............

"......avions grosse, est as Foxhanter.

 

Owever, if passink water skiairs, then vous must be at deux foots, unless at ze brain oiseau rallye in which case c'est trois foots and un inch."

 

"Est un plotte Capitaliste" said Flying Turde

 

"Shaddapa you face" said Farex "Catcha da fish"

 

 

[Captain]

"......avions grosse, est as Foxhanter.

Owever, if passink water skiairs, then vous must be at deux foots, unless at ze brain oiseau rallye in which case c'est trois foots and un inch."

"But" said AhRoxoff again expansively "Mon CrappyCitroen, zee probleme when mon water skees, eees zat mon plonkeur drags in zeee water slowing mon down (rag & tube aviatione terme) to a ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"But" said AhRoxoff again expansively "Mon CrappyCitroen, zee probleme when mon water skees, eees zat mon plonkeur drags in zeee water slowing mon down (rag & tube aviatione terme) to a ............

"......pont where a beau wave est created, and I have to....."

 

 

[Captain]

"......pont where a beau wave est created, and I have to....."

..... start zeee outboard.

 

"Oh Oh" responde the Pooy403 "Zeees is where zay all peeek on moi, because je suis une master of outboard repair and .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... start zeee outboard.

"Oh Oh" responde the Pooy403 "Zeees is where zay all peeek on moi, because je suis une master of outboard repair and .........

 

"......ingene reliability, like ze Jaba Jaba in Australie"

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

........the minor major, rejected, dejected, check his crab pots for any new jabas, whilst keeping a close eye through the overhead mangrove leaves for any prying searching jabas overhead. Word coming through from the major major when the minor major ran into him at Dan Murphys, as they were both buying booze, was that stiffy had purchased land in NQ on the high tablelands for a secret base, and could well be planning a large aerial assuault on Montpelier Airpark where the 2 x majors were based. Major major had his bubbly, short, but volupuois blond wifey with him, and she was selecting his poison for the night. Stiffys aerial assult had been expected sooner, but major majors army intellegence had shown that there was a distinct shortage of servicable jaba engines in the area, with which to launch a significent assult.

 

"Let them come !" cried the Major major now well into his first bottle of selected jungle juice (the one with the NATO approved camo label on the front.) "We have secret army afganny-approved laser guided warp thrusters dug in at Montpelier, and the adjoining army approved Clarke DZ".... "We'll also launch at least two DTA trikes manned by the internationally feared BRATS pilots...ninjas' all" , he raved, with his funny alum drilled colander on his head. "Besides", he continued in his fine Majorily style supported by his fine, now also drunk blonde wife "Stiffys forces will fail in their attempt as the temperature now has reached 38 C, and they won't make it back to the tablelands before they melt. "Besides (he continued) if we need to, we will launch the feared Desert dwellers from nearby Starke Field, in their gazzelles and thrusters"....."Ah this is a mans' army for sure !!".he ranted..........Meanwhile, the minor major sitting beside his fully fueled up bull lightwing in his concrete reinforce bunker-hanger, studied closely the latest army intellegence photos of Stiffys new jaba base on the tablelands, he........................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

considered if the talk of the new engine design with everything that was wrong with the old being resolved in the new, would have any impact on the plans of the rebel stiffy. On further though he knew that the entire engine must have been replaced if it was indeed true that all the bad bits had been fixed.

 

He considered if he was to see one in the flesh so to speak if it would have the R modified crudely to look like a J. Hmm looks like a Rotax sounds like a rotax seems as reliable as a rotax must be the new Jotax. The Jotax was a Rotax with the austrian pistons replaced with Holden ones. This then met all the requirements for the "Screwed about in Australia" sticker which made all the locals puff out their chest with pride, and earned Stiffy a tax break or two!!!

 

Still he concluded, up here in F'n QLD that 38 degree limit still applies and should do so until next June the 13th whereupon they have a 4 day window to do their dirty deeds. Plenty of time to plan for it as he sat back and sucked on a XXXX and considered his naval fluff for the 3rd time that day...Ahh Lifes good for F'n Queens landers thought minor major as he.......

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

...also looked at the latest secret army weaponary details, as supplied to him by the Major major. Included were the latest 912 powered US Predators, and the latest F35b which could be obtained by the Major major with his Army and RAA contacts, under the premise of international ANZA treaty co-operation. Hell we could have one of those sitting on the ramp at RAAF garbutt in mere days, just with the promise of a pallet of XXXX for the yanks. We could even sweeten the deal by throwing in several feral wallabies which now run rampant on Montpeliers many runways. The yanks would powerless to refuse, with the offer of the wallabies. "Do it" cried the Major major, I'll get the RAA board to back our plan fully. That'll mean we'll have more room in the magazine for real stuff after the Jaba engine failure reports are eliminated. We'll launch the F35b direct to Bundaburg to wipe out the dreaded jaba factory forever, it can then land directly in front of the Bundaberg rum factory, and secure as much of the hallowed drop as could be fitted into the aircraft secret bomb bay.

 

"Similtaenousily (he continued) we'll launch the 912 powered Drones to Stiffys' northern base, and destroy that also, Ah the irony of it all !"

 

The minor major looked over the plans with satisfaction. "The skys above Montpelier will be safe again, the dreaded 'plastic fantastics' will be wiped from the skys regardless of the temperature."

 

We will need the speed and stealth of the BRATS' DTA trikes though he ....................................

 

 

[turboplanner]

...also looked at the latest secret army weaponary details, as supplied to him by the Major major. Included were the latest 912 powered US Predators, and the latest F35b which could be obtained by the Major major with his Army and RAA contacts, under the premise of international ANZA treaty co-operation. Hell we could have one of those sitting on the ramp at RAAF garbutt in mere days, just with the promise of a pallet of XXXX for the yanks. We could even sweeten the deal by throwing in several feral wallabies which now run rampant on Montpeliers many runways. The yanks would powerless to refuse, with the offer of the wallabies. "Do it" cried the Major major, I'll get the RAA board to back our plan fully. That'll mean we'll have more room in the magazine for real stuff after the Jaba engine failure reports are eliminated. We'll launch the F35b direct to Bundaburg to wipe out the dreaded jaba factory forever, it can then land directly in front of the Bundaberg rum factory, and secure as much of the hallowed drop as could be fitted into the aircraft secret bomb bay."Similtaenousily (he continued) we'll launch the 912 powered Drones to Stiffys' northern base, and destroy that also, Ah the irony of it all !"

 

The minor major looked over the plans with satisfaction. "The skys above Montpelier will be safe again, the dreaded 'plastic fantastics' will be wiped from the skys regardless of the temperature."

 

We will need the speed and stealth of the BRATS' DTA trikes though he ....................................

......can never get them started unless he uses "Startyabastard", and then quite often neighbours her the scream of a two stroke four stroking followed by a howl from BRAT and he hangs on to one end of the trike and the other spins around him.

 

"Leave it, LEAVE IT!" said MajorMajor "we'll have to face the attack without him, so stiffen up minormajor, I have a strategic plan"

 

"What's the plan" said MinorMajor

 

"Sorry old chap, need to know only" said the major Major

 

But it was all too little too late, the promised plan didn't eventuate mainly because they'd seconded Queenslanders, and now there was the drone of a hundred engines, and the sleek shapes of streamlines Jabas could be seen. There's nothing like the sound of a Jaba engine at full noise.

 

The MinorMajor reached down, picked up rocks and began throwing them at the Jabas, which was quite ineffective because they were still half a mile away.

 

"Wait till you see the whites of their eyes" said the Major Major

 

"What are we going to DO!"

 

"Wait for it, Waaait for it, Waaaaaaait for it" the MajorMajor quietly responded.

 

Then an amazing thing happened; before the airfcraft reached them there was a series of burps, bangs and oil sprays and aircraft started nosing down all along the line.

 

The MajorMajor smiled at the Minormajor, then yelled "SHRAPNEL" as a thousand through bolts came spearing through the air.....................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Later Stiffy was heard to moan....."If only Id used rolled rather than machined, but I though rolled was aerobatic in nature and theirs been sightings of FT alround the bUndy facility and we have been on our best behaviour the whole time he's been around. In fact we've been so busy self regulating we havent had time to produce a Jabba Tirade in months."

 

He then said "We even found a GPS DataFlogger tossed on the back floor of our J430 demonstrator. I didnt know what a Data Flogger was until I googled it. A flogger is a ctually a logger sold with software that can analyse historical data until it finds or creates an infraction which is then reported to AVEDATA who will then stuff up the rego info and send a Cazzah Public stoning invitation to the wrong person." Apparently there isnt much demand for them yet but the importers have been promised big returns by AVEDATA &FT Pty Ltd."

 

Stiffy justt held his head in his hands and said..........

 

P.S Thursdays are FT days.....promise I wont raise it again for at least a week:<)

 

 

[turboplanner]

Later Stiffy was heard to moan....."If only Id used rolled rather than machined, but I though rolled was aerobatic in nature and theirs been sightings of FT alround the bUndy facility and we have been on our best behaviour the whole time he's been around. In fact we've been so busy self regulating we havent had time to produce a Jabba Tirade in months."

He then said "We even found a GPS DataFlogger tossed on the back floor of our J430 demonstrator. I didnt know what a Data Flogger was until I googled it. A flogger is a ctually a logger sold with software that can analyse historical data until it finds or creates an infraction which is then reported to AVEDATA who will then stuff up the rego info and send a Cazzah Public stoning invitation to the wrong person." Apparently there isnt much demand for them yet but the importers have been promised big returns by AVEDATA &FT Pty Ltd."

 

Stiffy justt held his head in his hands and said..........

 

P.S Thursdays are FT days.....promise I wont raise it again for at least a week:<)

 

........."not the P.S, not the P.S, don't take the P,s" but Android already had another project....................

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... airborne rego checking balloons!

 

"I'll set them to float behind clouds and near man made lakes and catch all those feral plastic planes" he schemed and then when they.........."

 

 

[bull]

but he didn,t think it through ,he only used 80lb sneider fishing line to tie the balloons,later that day he looked up to see an amazing sight ......

 

 

[bull]

DO you fly single seat ,sick of the plastic brigade?JOIN UP your love of flying needs you ! [single seat plastics exemptions apply]

 

 

[bull]

All applicants report to the Major for basic training.

 

 

[bull]

All two seat thrusters report for instructional duties [may be required for front line duties if we start to lose]

 

 

[bull]

the rebels had used his balloons to hold up this poster.

 

 

[Captain]

"That poster looks a bit like Eugene with a goatie & without the epaulettes" commented the Rodent "Or is it a young See-if-I-give-a-damn?"

 

"No it's not" said Eeeen the Add-minimum "It's bull in his Mardi Gras-a-cricket suit, with his ......................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"That poster looks a bit like Eugene with a goatie & without the epaulettes" commented the Rodent "Or is it a young See-if-I-give-a-damn?"

"No it's not" said Eeeen the Add-minimum "It's bull in his Mardi Gras-a-cricket suit, with his ......................

"No that's Eeeen!" interrupted Turbo

 

From my earphone

 

 

[Captain]

"No that's Eeeen!" interrupted Turbo

From my earphone

............. and Turdy was immediately banned, then moved to another sister site (see PratsinRecreationalAviation.com.au) where the Bro was in good company, including .....................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

XXX the pruner, also known as BrentC who was an X short of a beer,Macoates and MrRowtek all of who had P'dOff Eeeen and had the UnkaSam figer of going awayness pointed at them, so off went Turdy to set up YASG, Yet Another Splinter Group. They Immediately......

 

 

[Captain]

XXX the pruner, also known as BrentC who was an X short of a beer,Macoates and MrRowtek all of who had P'dOff Eeeen and had the UnkaSam figer of going awayness pointed at them, so off went Turdy to set up YASG, Yet Another Splinter Group. They Immediately......

..... sat around like Monty Python's Life of Brian and the "People's Front of Judea" sketch (splitters), and started sticking pins in Eeeeen dolls. One dirty bugger (but it wasn't the TurdBro) even stuck a pin in Eeeen's ...................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

..... sat around like Monty Python's Life of Brian and the "People's Front of Judea" sketch (splitters), and started sticking pins in Eeeeen dolls. One dirty bugger (but it wasn't the TurdBro) even stuck a pin in Eeeen's ...................

other thing that pointed from time to time, it used to point at the ceiling when he was a lad, but now was a good day if it could point at the wall opposite him. "Eeeen's a naughty boy" said Turdy in a falsetto voice while the rest did the RAOTFLMAO thing.........RAOTFLMAO???? said MaCoates WTF does that mean. Well said Turdy......