The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

XXX the pruner, also known as BrentC who was an X short of a beer,Macoates and MrRowtek all of who had P'dOff Eeeen and had the UnkaSam figer of going awayness pointed at them, so off went Turdy to set up YASG, Yet Another Splinter Group. They Immediately......

......banned loxoff for leering at them and......

 

 

[bull]

started negotiations for the purchase of 6 black rv7,s all fitted with the complimentery blond women in a black lycra bodysuit CHECK their hours ,cried Turdy We dont.......

 

 

[Captain]

started negotiations for the purchase of 6 black rv7,s all fitted with the complimentery blond women in a black lycra bodysuit CHECK their hours ,cried Turdy We dont.......

.... allow body suits with fishnets and Uncle Sam hats (and the latter have trouble fitting under the canopy of an RV7, when you are eating a canape.)

 

"Check your own" responded one of the RV7 dolly birds "And don't worry about checking ours (which are all in perfect working order)."

 

"Hey said Robin of Loxley. "Forget those RV7's, girls. How would yez like an upgrade to a SportStar?"

 

The silence was deafening, before someone ................

 

 

A couple of my Aunt's friends who are both certified RV7 copilots, and licenced lycra owners.

 

 

 

[ahlocks]

... ripped a bit of rag from a nearby tyrajackacricket to clear the dust off the Tzara.

 

"Ewww it's got lumpy bits all over it!" gasped RivetlessRat who'd become accustomed to bland white plastic. "..and how would I lure one of those blonde dollies under the wing to ...."

 

 

[Captain]

... ripped a bit of rag from a nearby tyrajackacricket to clear the dust off the Tzara.

"Ewww it's got lumpy bits all over it!" gasped RivetlessRat who'd become accustomed to bland white plastic. "..and how would I lure one of those blonde dollies under the wing to ...."

... practice a 5G wing-over and a triple Immelman (just like the Red Bull pilots do in their hangars).

 

"No" said an RV7 Dolly Bird with indignation, "I need to do this in stages so find me a tyrojackacricket owner as the 1st stage upgrade from the RV7 (because it was just a nose-wheel 'A' version [real men fly tail-draggers etc etc]) and I'll take a ride with him first, before upgrading further to the Szara, which turns me ............

 

 

[ahlocks]

weak at the knees in anticip....................

 

 

[bull]

but she was to be disappointed,the jackacricket was grounded by the thoughtless act of the rat ,as he looked at the piece of main wing in his hand ,she,ll be right CRIED Bull who,s got some duct tape?.......Turdy could you grab the shower curtain for us mate cheers Now loxy you grab the no8 fencing wire and the pliers . After 20 minutes of noise and mayhem there emerged from the hanger the............................

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

........after the dismal attack failure caused by stiffys' cut-threaded throughbolts failing almost in unison, as all the plastic fantastics went to full power for the high speed attack (the Major major found one firmly imbeded in the roof of his staff car).................it was a massive letdown to the forces major forces on the ground, as the 'plastic fantastics' force had all been right over the Ross dam at the time of the failures, and those that went down, crashed and sunk promptly upon hitting the water.

 

"It's there own fault !" sneered the Minor major, Montpelier is safe again !!.....and to hell with the Souther hordes of mongols also I say...Capt Ian Wells phoned from Heathrow to the South, saying that several damaged jabas had tried to make emergency landings at Heathrow after the attack attempt, but none made it in due to the fact that Ian had delibertly built his runways short, to discourage any Jabas from ever landing there. The Savannas, Lightwings, Titons and Drifters were more than happy with the runway lengths. However there were several fruitless attemps by the Jabas to land at Heatrow, but they all fell out of the sky on finals, ending in putrid heaps in the adjoining mangroves.

 

The Minor major was unindated with applications from ex-95.10 pilots, both young and old who wanted to volenteer for the new single-seat attack brigade. "They'll need 2-stroke experience !" boomed the Major major, " and I'll have to personally interview them all...particularly the pretty female ones !"............"Call Farri", ordered the Minor major, see if he's available to help us with some training, and round up all available Thrusters, we'll need................................

 

 

[Captain]

..... to assemble at the Mont behind Montperrier, on which I deliver my sermons.

 

Just then the Major major grabbed the microphone, ignored everyone else & jumped to his feet in a repeat of the Temora Meeting of Members.

 

"I'm sorry" he said "We got it all wrong. Leave it to me. I will single handedly make everything hunky-dory again, and I will right all wrongs."

 

"What's he on about?" asked Bull (who had finally grown a capital "B" in post # 6356) "There must be another election on the way, .............. and Madge is also trying to steer the F'n Q centre of attention away from good old Bone (which followed Bull into the world of capital letters) to Town's Ville, which is close to Hick's Ville."

 

"Did someone call me?" asked David, who was being retrained in F'n Q, because it is the closest simulation to Pakistan that .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......teaches Mongols.

 

"I had a mongol dog once" said Turbo, "but I've bought thoroughbreds ever so since. because ...."

 

 

[bull]

.......the mongol liked to chase plastic as they took off down the runway [he was last seen hanging on to a jabi flying to waggawagga]..............Meanwhile the minor major had a minor problem to put to the major major,...........Major major should we mount the secret weapons onto our attack aircraft now I have them lined up here ,[as he glanced out at the flight line [there in all their glory sat lines apon lines of himaxs koalas ,drifters ,saddler vampires jackaroos tyros,and a big collection of hills hoists and victas that had been collected in a war drive]along with a few scouts as well,[well use them for cap patrols over montpellior]................I,v also got one of those legetti stratos things for a fast recon machine said the minor major to the major major............[...it fitted the plastic exemption clause ] But turdy wont fly it sir ,he keeps mumbling about........................

 

 

[Bryon]

.......But turdy wont fly it sir ,he keeps mumbling about........................

....some crazy dog trying to bite him on the dangly bits.

 

"I did not" said nana, "It happened at the Blue Oyster Bar, I had dropped my teef and loxy was under the table looking for them"

 

"They must have got caught in his fishnets"

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

Huh ????..................anyway turdy didn't want to fly the stratos because there were too many wings in the way, and he didn't think he would get a clear shot at a jaba if he encounted one over montpelier... "Rubbish" snorted the Major major "We've defended Montpelier base from the Southern hoards and those FNQUA Northern hoards before with lesser machines like the BRATS DTA trikes, and even Savanaah Brumbies, hell that old Global engined pelican out at Starke Field could probabily take on a Jaba230 and out fly it." As a last resort we'll get the Minor major to fire up a GT 400 and take them all on" he continued to snort in his Major manner. Major minor was not impressed and suggested under his breath, that instead of calling him Major major, we should be calling him Major bumsaw..................................

 

 

[Captain]

As a last resort we'll get the Minor major to fire up a GT 400 and take them all on" he continued to snort in his Major manner. Major minor was not impressed and suggested under his breath, that instead of calling him Major major, we should be calling him Major bumsaw..................................

...... just like they do at the Blue Oyster.

 

The almost Colonel thought about that, stood, took the microphone, stole the show, ignored the rest of the blokes and blokettes at the front table and said "We got it all wrong, I'm gunna ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....take over from now and completely $%#$# @$%$%#$#%% the $%$#@ until &%$*%."

 

But his words were in vain because the crowd quickly shuffled out to the coffee shop where you could get Hot Chocolate with marshmallow, or rolled through bolts which were softer, and easier on the mouth.

 

In the distance came the sound "dit dit dah, dah dit dit, dit dah dit, dit tit dah, dah dah dah" and a reflection from a row of shining teeth, it was the alien...............

 

 

[Captain]

"In the distance came the sound "dit dit dah, dah dit dit, dit dah dit, dit tit dah, dah dah dah" and a reflection from a row of shining teeth, it was the alien...............

....... darling of the Darling Downs, and all around good person, aviation enthusiast of the year, and mother of five, ........................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....... darling of the Darling Downs, and all around good person, aviation enthusiast of the year, and mother of five, ........................

..fixer of family fights, tourist manager for the Ram of Dalby, had more flies than Mortein.....

 

 

[Captain]

..fixer of family fights, tourist manager for the Ram of Dalby, had more flies than Mortein.....

... and more flies that she could fit in her Log Book, where the column on the right said ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

... and more flies that she could fit in her Log Book, where the column on the right said ............

"two up"

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

.....................ah the Townsville RSL on Anzac day, not to be missed, two-up central with all the black-suited sunglass wearing trained killers ready to be shipped to the scene of the action, not to mention all the loose besotted tarts that frequent with them on that glorous drunken, taxi home-taking day................................the majors distant thought was distracted by a large rain storm approaching from the northly direction over the Ross Dam. "better get back to the field' he thought. No Jabas in sight on this dawn patrol, but they could come in under cover of just such a rain storm, tricky southereners worst than the japs at Pearl Harbour.

 

He keyed the mic to Major major on the ground, to request that the active ground defences be shut off for landing, as he did a lazy wing-over to enter downwind for his favorite runway 04.

 

"Mmmm, wonder who that is driving into the field ?"...he mused from on high. "could it be the legendary Student biggles finally tracked him down for that promised ride ?"...................................................

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

.... But no. It was actually Salty, who had gone from Dandy-Nong to MtPerrier in one hop (he has the big Cricket with extended tanks) and he yelled to Madge, who was using the NES to include factual photos (which nobody had ever thought to do before).

 

"Have any of you Queen'th thlanderers theen my teeff (see pos #6361 and never leave it to the BOB Locky to find anything like that or they'll end up down at Cashies with his lock-picks and his chastertitty belt)?"

 

Madge thought for a long time so as to be at his most creative, ebuliant and humourous, and replied "No, and ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........the way you keep them under your arm when you're flying I'd be surprised in anyone picked them up.

 

"I've got them" said MajorMajor aka BigM, and they wondered......

 

 

[Captain]

"I've got them" said MajorMajor aka BigM, and they wondered......

..... "Do you get fries with that?"

 

"Only if the Frinders Fryer is involved and that would mean that .................

 

 

[Bryon]

..... "Do you get fries with that?"

"Only if the Frinders Fryer is involved and that would mean that .................

....Sir Nobu (who was in reality a wholesale whale meat merchant in the pay of the notorious whale catchers syndicate) could raise the price of his chicken sushi (tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, but is really whale blubber [erky perky]) to offset the cost of the litigation for salmonella poisoning from the pizza business in which he was a silent partner.

 

Now, Sir Nobu, or as he liked to be known, Big Nob, had recently tried to do a stock market takeover of the "Brue Oyster Bra" but was foiled by MsLoxy. "A 38 double D bra, fishnet stockings and a sequined g-string do a lot for..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....Sir Nobu (who was in reality a wholesale whale meat merchant in the pay of the notorious whale catchers syndicate) could raise the price of his chicken sushi (tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, but is really whale blubber [erky perky]) to offset the cost of the litigation for salmonella poisoning from the pizza business in which he was a silent partner.Now, Sir Nobu, or as he liked to be known, Big Nob, had recently tried to do a stock market takeover of the "Brue Oyster Bra" but was foiled by MsLoxy. "A 38 double D bra, fishnet stockings and a sequined g-string do a lot for..............

..a voluptuous woman but not for a 50 kg Japanese, so Big Nob was left sitting all night, but not silent. He'd eaten some of his own cooking, and it was said the outhouse sounded as if a bull was trapped inside.

 

For some reason Ratsy had been avoiding the Blue Oyster Bar...............