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Posted

And there dear readers, is a text book example of how ogling the centrefold in Slide Rules and Design Weights magazine will not only make you need glasses, it can also lead to acute multi threading disorder... 030_dizzy.gif.e1d4f6909e07e95d7991b9fd0d8a2517.gif

 

"Hoot mon, yea shooda seen the tips on those protractors..." lusted McTub as he.....

 

 

Posted
.....put his tools away....

...... "Not so McFast" said Nanna MacKenzie "As I have something that I need calibrated and your tools (McPlural?) are as good as any in a storm. So sidle over here, let me examine that fine sporran of yours and we'll make sweet sweet Mc.....................

 

 

Posted

"...Donalds down by the loch"

 

"Not so fast!" said McTurbine who was not into the senior citizens, which were all McRat and McBrine could pull these days

 

"Keep your distance!" he said, raising his caber......

 

 

Posted
"..."Keep your distance!" he said, raising his caber......

....... but the ladies of the Inverness CWA had seen that caper pulled on them before (while some just liked to watch - not that there is anything wrong with that).

 

They quickly sidestepped the TubbyPlonker and one mentioned that they should watch his heart at his age, when they were sidetracked by the GPS starting up again and saying .........."

 

 

Posted
.........."You have reached your destination", but of course none of them had, so...

... Morag said "Ah wush we werrr ooot at the Grab-A-Granny joint in Coffs Harborrr as McAndyMcHot-stuffMcSat is there all the time and we could take it in turns to make woopie with his ..............

 

 

Posted

"...the bluestone next to the statue of Willam Wallace in Edinburgh and mccraps on about how guid he says things, but really he is descended from the McCackles, and they changed their names by Mcdeed Poll for obvious reasons"

 

 

Posted

"Geeez Acki, we're rucky that these warries are concenlating on the poor Scots, and no ronger giving us glief." said Nobu.

 

"Independance for Scotland" said the GPS.

 

"Mull of Kintyre" said Paul McCartney to his next wife.

 

"Salty likes scotch" said his signature.

 

"Get him over here and we'll give him a good taste" said Morag, the social secretary of the Inverness CWA "He'll love what we can ...........

 

 

Posted

as-our-intreped*fugitives-have-now-arrived-overhead--Cowla-aerodrome.----should-we-join-up-with-this,,,,Nobu,,,asked-ahmed.....as-he-adjusted-hts-turban...................

 

 

Posted

-gently, just in case it unwound, for he was an Arab and not a Shikr, and it also appears that bull's keyboard, apart from having the hyphen stuck on, has a one week time...

 

 

Posted
-gently, just in case it unwound, for he was an Arab and not a Shikr, and it also appears that bull's keyboard, apart from having the hyphen stuck on, has a one week time...

...... capsule.

 

"That's Bone for ya" said Achhhhchmed as he finally coughed it up.

 

"Stop pick'n on Bone, will ya" replied bull ,,,,---.,,****.

 

"Ooooooh, rook whose a bit titchy this week" replied Nobu, who seemed to be a bit too close to Achhhhhchmed for the comfort of some in the NES.

 

"Fair suck of the sauce bottle" commented Nobu "After all, I was incarcelated for a rong time by the Austlarian autholitolies and .....................

 

 

Posted

".........made to glow vegetables for the shopkeepers of Cowla, who spent the time bleeding bodgies with Blyrcleem...."

 

 

Posted
".........made to glow vegetables for the shopkeepers of Cowla, who spent the time bleeding bodgies with Blyrcleem...."

....... and drinking Scotch.

 

"We will neverrrr surrenderrrrr" cried the GPS (with a Mel Gibson accent & a blue stripe down the screen).

 

"Come over here Mel" said Morag from Inverness "And I'll toss your caber off."

 

But before she got it done, into the room walked .............

 

 

Posted

.....McNakajima, all 1.6 metres (1600 mm, 5'3",3 cubits) of him, strutting like a peacock, glancing from side to side......

 

 

Posted
.....McNakajima, all 1.6 metres (1600 mm, 5'3",3 cubits) of him, strutting like a peacock, glancing from side to side......

..... because that is the way he had to walk.

 

His mum had named him "Jima", but he had been renamed by his mates once they saw that he had a huge set of ................

 

 

Posted

...jewels. "Aye bewties they be," beamed McNakajima 010_chuffed.gif.0eb732edf61030e6104a9a70bfa92a9e.gif has he thrust forward his handful of glinting crystals. "They're leadium carbon diamonds anae get them from me wee rotorax when I run it on avgas for more 33% of the time." he explained. "The high temperatures and pressures of the wee austrian screamer turn all the sludge and crud into theses precious things". 022_wink.gif.9d61fed85ccaec4ccc17040770c5c601.gif

 

Rat thought long and hard blink.gif.f1ea649b5c5807cc7028f9cd8cfae8c0.gif (well, sorta hard augie.gif.346f47c3977a17668982a7a2e09685c9.gif) at this revellation.... maybe, just maybe, that trip around the nation could be done after all 092_idea.gif.5aecf2098b24482891c0ced75da80e68.gif but perhaps he was just thinking of another austrian screamer that he'd met while.....

 

 

Posted
...jewels. "Aye bewties they be," beamed McNakajima 010_chuffed.gif.0eb732edf61030e6104a9a70bfa92a9e.gif .

"It's an oriental tradition that the 1st part of our name tells the story, and if you've got 'em you should flawnt 'em" said Nakamura to NakaAckanacka.

 

"I agree" said Plonkahlocks to TwobumsPlanner.

 

"I'm not so sure about that" said steer (smallbull) to Brine & Planey as they fondled Nanna's jewels of leadium carbon diamonds that ............

 

 

Posted

initially, "full of fire", but became quickly doused, after the yobbo with the glinting smile, bellowed out, that lack of being loved, can cause a serious case of...........

 

 

Posted
initially, "full of fire", but became quickly doused, after the yobbo with the glinting smile, bellowed out, that lack of being loved, can cause a serious case of...........

unrest, if super-glue is used on your shoes to make sure you stay put during ellections.

 

Ahhh! commented Nobu, when I was a much younger man, I was velly interested in my ellections, ewry morning before my bowl of rice, i'd.........

 

 

Posted
unrest, if super-glue is used on your shoes to make sure you stay put during ellections.Ahhh! commented Nobu, when I was a much younger man, I was velly interested in my ellections, ewry morning before my bowl of rice, i'd.........

..... get one. But when dayright saving came in it would always happen at the bus stop."

 

"That's nothing" commented bull from bone® "As I can get one at the drop of a hat (ooooopps,,,,,my cap,,,..,,,just fell off again) and at ..............

 

 

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