The Never Ending Story

[planedriver]

"Oooly Dooly" exclained Tubs, i've always liked "fire in the arse" things that simply fly, now i'm gonna crank up my blow-off valve (engine tech term) to...

 

 

[Captain]

"Oooly Dooly" exclained Tubs, i've always liked "fire in the ****" things that simply fly, now i'm gonna crank up my blow-off valve (engine tech term) to...

...... lift the boost (another techy term for 914 owners) of my .....

 

 

[planedriver]

...... lift the boost (another techy term for 914 owners) of my .....

member..............popularity

 

 

[Captain]

member..............popularity

..... and always remember that the members must always be satisfied .............. or they end up as Rabble Rousers that will often get .............

 

 

[planedriver]

..... and always remember that the members must always be satisfied.

 

Thats always been my philosofy cried Nanna. I can recall many a fly-in when iv'e been shown around some dark hanger, and often got a big surprise that the aircraft kit I was to be shown, was still on the high seas. So in desperation, I simply grabbed the opportunity to.........

[Captain]

..... I simply grabbed the opportunity to.........

..... grab an opposing ......

 

 

[planedriver]

pair of Rabble Rousers, and marched them straight up in front of Mac McDello from Dandenong, being the highly-paid imported union bloke who nobody could clearly understand. "We'd noo put ip with this sort of shenneniking where I came from in Scootland. All the lad's there behave themselves, for fear of being kicked in the sporran area, and being sued by Ben Doon and his other gay solicitor partner Phil McCavity, who's business wasn't going too well, and were having difficulty making ends meet. Aaaakmed the new L2, who was repairing a broken flap hinge on a nearby aircraft with double-sided tape, butted in with his garlicy breath, befitting a camel, added that where he came from they would overcome such behavior by......

 

 

[Captain]

.... who's business wasn't going too well, and were having difficulty making ends meet. Aaaakmed the new L2, who was repairing a broken flap hinge on a nearby aircraft with double-sided tape, butted in with his garlicy breath, befitting a camel, added that where he came from they would overcome such behavior by......

..... skitching a Robber's Dog onto them, making them walk to Afghghghanistan & back, forcing them to sit on the pointy end of a pyramid for 40 days & 40 nights, and then by being part of the explosives display at the Cairo Airshow. That always works" said Acchchcmed the L2, "But for some additional high-jinks we cack ourselves by making them ..............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Test out the "what happens when an immeasurable force meets an immovable object" They get to be the immovable object....we supply free...the immeasurable force....but <sigh> they always seem to move....One day we'll get it right though......

 

 

[Captain]

Test out the "what happens when an immeasurable force meets an immovable object" They get to be the immovable object....we supply free...the immeasurable force....but <sigh> they always seem to move....One day we'll get it right though......

..... as where I come from, is old hat, because Yassah Bed-Linen (the Isaac Newton of the Gaza Strip and the Albert Einstein of Bengazzi) has recently proved that E (Explosives vest) = Man X ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......small buttons?

 

 

[turboplanner]

McTurbo was driving through deepest Quensland where some mothers still ate their young.

 

He was on a mission to find the ancestors of various NES luminaries.

 

He had already discovered that McRat was a bastard, and was now in search of physical evidence of McLoxette's ancestor Lachlan McLachlan.

 

Lachie was born near Loch Lochlan in the highlands of Scotland, and as a baby of two months was continually escaping from his cot. In later life he migrated to Queensland and was continually escaping from his bed, not without reasonable cause, and could often be found stretched out on the pub bench. Towards the end of his life would escape from his bed in the nursing home.

 

In seeking to restrain Lachie, the McLachlan family invented many devices, one of which was a steel cylinder sealed with rivets. This was used to launch America's first man to orbit the earth. Another device pre-dated the IPad; the family called it the Padloch. In suceeding generations the family became prosperous in the Wagga Wagga area, and one skinny young man who had a stutter changed the name to Aaaghlock.

 

With this rich history in mind McTurbo just had to find some evidence (or be Moderated even more), and by a million to one chance, when stopped beside the highway he found the grave of old Lachie McLachlan, the escape artist from Loch Lachlan (See photo)

 

 

 

[Captain]

With this rich history in mind McTurbo just had to find some evidence (or be Moderated even more), and by a million to one chance, when stopped beside the highway he found the grave of old Lachie McLachlan, the escape artist from Loch Lachlan (See photo)

.... who had excaped by carefully removing nine palings from the enclosure because the lock on the gate at Loch Lachlan was located ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

Underneath a loose slate on the fromt step

 

 

[bull]

But-he-has-hurt-his-back-trying-to-fit-in-a-matchbox,,,,,,,That-was-silly-said-bull-from-bone-whos-space-bar-has-decided-to-escape-too---------------------------------Elratto-said.............

 

 

[Captain]

But-he-has-hurt-his-back-trying-to-fit-in-a-matchbox,,,,,,,That-was-silly-said-bull-from-bone-whos-space-bar-has-decided-to-escape-too---------------------------------Elratto-said.............

.... "I like eating Space Bar's too, and also those Milo Bars that look like they are made of Rice Bubbles. I hope that doesn't make me a Queen Slander!!!! *5$-------,,,,,,,,..:::::;""""'''=======.

 

And then, in chipped Yassar from Redcliff who said "Where I come from (not that there is anything wrong with that) E(xplosion) = M(an) X C(emtex) squared readily equates to ............................

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........something like road kill after the new low bull (no offence intended bull) bars on road trains have rolled and carted the pig or roo out to the side to protect low level brake fittings, which causes hawks to fly right in to the truck stops to pick small chunks off the bars. Trbo had been walking around the parked trucks picking off his breakfast, since truckstops charged such high prices for their three hat services, when...

 

 

[Captain]

...........something like road kill after the new low bull (no offence intended bull) bars on road trains have rolled and carted the pig or roo out to the side to protect low level brake fittings, which causes hawks to fly right in to the truck stops to pick small chunks off the bars. Trbo had been walking around the parked trucks picking off his breakfast, since truckstops charged such high prices for their three hat services, when...

..... a bull bar (apologies to bull [and to his occasional bar]) and a cigarette lighter can provide a roadside feast that is fit for a prince or princess (aplogies to bull & to brine).

 

"I particularly like the mix of goat, rock-rat and kookaburra that you get from the bull bars (apologies bull) of trucks that travel between Hillston and Cobar, or the mix of grey roo and Koala that you can scrape off the bull bars (apologies bull) at Yea" said Turps "But most of all I like using a Coleman firelighter to BBQ the scrapings from a ..................

 

 

[turboplanner]

brahman bull (apologies to bull). Turbo had been recognised at one of the truck stops, and a truckie belligerently (apologies to Tomo) approached him and said "Remember Me"?

 

This apparition hadn't been on Turbo's sweetheart (apologies to Major Incident) list, so he said "No"

 

"You were a warder in Boggo Road and beat me with a bull's pistle" (apologies to bull) he said

 

"Well how can I help that" said Turbo, "I was the only person big enough to fling the bull" (apologies to bull)

 

"That wasn't all" said the truckie (apologies to Yenn) "you.............

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo apologises for not being capacitated to continue writing but he's tied up at dinner on the verandah of a tropical beachside restaurant with the ever ao gentle caress of the warm trade wind blowing over his bare flesh

 

 

[Captain]

Turbo apologises for not being capacitated to continue writing but he's tied up at dinner on the verandah of a tropical beachside restaurant with the ever ao gentle caress of the warm trade wind blowing over his bare flesh

"Erky perky (apologies to Ahrox-off)" said Nanna "As I have seen Turps in all his glory (apologies to all deities), and the site of that red hair (apologies to Orangutans) being caressed by a warm trade (apologies to all tradesmen and LAME's) wind (apologies to all those with irritable bowel syndrome) would be enough to make a sailor (apologies to all seamen) ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....throw up (apologies to the CMFEU), bcause

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo was struggling north, following the tracks of explorer Ludwig Leichhardt, and also following Leichhardt’s policy of pitching his tent each night, but sleeping well away in the bush in case he was speared during the night. So far it’s worked, and Turbo has only been hit by a wayward XXXX stubbie.

 

He reached MacKay in pursuit of Major’s roots, but they had long since moved on, but Turbo’s informant, Windsock advised that Major Himself was due in town.

 

So the next morning, at daybreak, in the freezing cold, Turbo, Windsock, and Honcho, a local bikie Turbo had hired for protection stood around in a sugarcane field for hours cracking their knuckles and generally pouring sh$t on you NES readers.

 

Eventually, there was a terrible sound which drowned out the big sugar mill nearby. There was no mistaking the horrible whine of the Rotact. Trailing the aircraft where the glowing drops of molten metal (Turbo has refrained from suggesting exhaust bits), followed by bushfires on the ground (see the photo Major landing).

 

As the Major circled, not sure whether he was at the cute little canefield airstrip or Mackay International Airport, Turbo gave him a Winchester Cuddle (See photos Pellets 1 & 2)

 

Turbo understands from the signwriting that the aircraft is a Dingo, Someone else said it was a dog, but the signwriting tends to solve that problem (See photo Dingo).

 

There was also an “I didn’t do it” sign which apparently was also a motto of his great grandfather, which Turbo needs to research some more.

 

Another sign said "Superman" and beside it were the feet of Major himself. A waitress at a local cafe afterwards had apologised to Turbo for the smell coming from the sugar factory, but Turbo was able to reassure her that it had come from Major's socks and would be gone soon.

 

No sooner was he on the ground than Major’s pit crew were into refuelling like greased lightning, although the Major insisted on pouring in the watered down fuel himself. This upset Winsock who shook the ladder and Major almost went over backwards, but by cleverly spreading his knees and swinging the jerry can, refuelling was completed. (See photo Pit stop)

 

Turbo stood back looking stern; he’d planned to pretend to be a CASA FOI, and was going to try a ramp check, but Winsock let the cat out of the bag and they all finished up putting their arms around each other.

 

Refuelling was stopped for a while when the main Brisbane Cairns express came through. This had the “Orient Express” carriages beloved by Queenslanders. See Photo Train

 

Soon it was time to pack and Hongie had brought along a two man tent, Donna, six sets of cutlery, four stubbie holders, two pairs of boots, four sets of shorts, a computer, phone charger, eight shirts, a camping shovel, twelve tent pegs made from star pickets, and a door mat, which was all packed away neatly by the Major.

 

Then it was time for Hongie to climb in; loading Hongie took an hour (see Photo Hongie)

 

Then came the ringing sound of a Rotact starting, the gear ding sounding very much like the sound familiar to Londoners from Big Ben.

 

The Dingo crossed the rail line and disappeared into the distance, eventually turning and with a massive burst of power, making its way down the runway.

 

Now some readers may be familiar with Turbo’s comments about aircraft which still us a 1920’s undercarriage design.

 

Turbo had already checked back an urge to tell the Major it looked as if his rear tyre had gone flat, but readers, when you look at the Photo Wheeler, where the aircraft used up a third of the runway just to get its tail off the ground, you can see that with a proper tricycle undercarriage that the tail would have been up when he started his run, and saved all that effort, because......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

...... effort is a bit of an effort these days, and the NES readers where stuffed after reading Tubb's saga, which was an unusual one for the NES, as it appeared to be based on a smattering of fact substantiated & interlaced by photos (which took 6,725 posts to achieve).

 

However, as the TurpsDrinker was up in F'nQ, ("I hate f'n Q" he was heard to mumble) and had been made an honourary QUEENiSLANDER (and bull,,,,..--shipper____;;), he headed a little further north to visit the Mini Minor, & to then tour the Bundy factory where he hoped to spend some time with that cute white bear ........... and to attend the ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....task of searching for Captain's ancestors. Turbo is on Cape Yorke Peninsula, and after many years of rumour and innuendo, and a small group of people making trouble, has photographic proof that the Endeavour could not have hit the Great Barrier Reef because there is not one there. Turbo has found the site where the Endeavour allegedly landed, but said "Careened my ar$se, she was an old lighter, solid as a rock and although using her on a long trip was the same as taking an HQ, nothing happened to the ship. I met a Native yesterday who told me the whole dark and sordid story"

 

Today, the Native, Slarti Slarti is taking him up the sinister river in an orange-bark canoe, where further revelations......